Secrets Kept

by Allie Everhart

  "Can I get a kiss first?"

  I reach up and give him a kiss then realize that might be the last kiss I ever give him. I feel tears forming but I choke them back and hurry past him into his room.

  "You in a hurry?" he asks.

  "Yeah, I have to get back to my dad."

  "I thought you said he's doing okay."

  "He is, but I told him I wouldn't be here long."

  "How long can you stay? I can skip my next class. We could have lunch." He smiles and wraps his arms around my waist. "Or do other things." He leans down and kisses me. "I love you."

  I don't say it back. I can't.

  I gently push him away and go stand by the window. "I have to talk to you."

  "About what?" His tone is serious. He knows something's wrong.

  "I need to..." The words get stuck in my throat. I memorized what I was going to say but now I can't remember any of it.

  He walks over to me. "You need to what?"

  Keeping my head down, I say, "We can't keep seeing each other."

  "What do you mean? Like while you're helping your dad?"

  "No. At all. We can't do this anymore."

  "Kate, what the hell? Are you breaking up with me?"

  I nod, tears falling down my cheeks.

  "Why?" I hear the hurt in his voice and it nearly kills me.

  "We're too different. We grew up differently. We come from different backgrounds. It would never work."

  "It already has worked. You and I are great together."

  "It's always great in the beginning. And then reality hits and things change." My throat is burning as I force myself not to cry. If I do, he'll know I don't want this. He'll know it's all fake. "I wanted us to be together. I really did. But it just won't work."

  "How long have you felt this way?"

  "Ever since we started talking about the future. I couldn't see it, Gavin. I couldn't see us having a life together." It's true, but only since I saw his dad kill that man. Before that, I could definitely see a future with Gavin. It's what I wanted. It's what we both wanted.

  "No." Gavin walks away from me. "We're not doing this. We're not breaking up."

  "Gavin, I'm sorry...but it's over."

  He storms back to me. "It's not over. Why would you even say that? Nothing has happened to cause this. You wanted a future with me. We talked about it. You were excited about it."

  "I know, but when I really thought about it, I realized it would never work. We're just too different."

  He shakes his head. "This doesn't make sense. None of this makes sense."

  Tears are threatening to fall. If I don't get out of here soon, I'm going to break down.

  "I have to go." I try to get around him but he catches me around the waist.

  "Kate, no. You can't go. We have to talk about this."

  "There's nothing more to say." I yank away from him, tears now running down my face. I bolt out the door before he can stop me.

  "Kate!" I hear him behind me and I take off, racing down the stairs and out to the parking lot. When I reach my car, I get inside and take off. I look back in my mirror and see Gavin standing there, watching me leave.

  As I drive down the road that takes me out of town, tears cloud my vision and I'm forced to pull over. I turn the car off and sob into my hands, my body shaking.

  I did it. It's over. But I already want him back.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  By the time I make it to my dad's house, I have ten texts from Gavin but I don't read them. And he left me two voicemails but I don't listen to them. I set my phone on the coffee table and collapse down on the couch. Grabbing the remote, I turn on the TV and see if there's anything to watch that'll keep my mind off Gavin.

  After flipping through the channels three times, I give up. Nothing will keep my mind off Gavin. Especially when my phone keeps ringing like it's doing now. I pick it up but see it's not Gavin calling. It's an unknown number.

  "Hello?" I say, answering it.

  "My dear, Kate, how lovely it is to hear your voice again."

  A chill shoots through me. It's Niles.

  "What do you want?"

  "I just talked to my son. He seemed very distraught. When I asked why, he said you'd ended things with him."

  I say nothing, and wait for him to continue.

  "Now why would you do such a thing?"

  "Why do you think?" I spit out.

  "We have an agreement. As long as you abide by the rules, there's no reason you can't continue to see my son."

  "And have you keep threatening me? And my family? I love Gavin, but if being with him means risking you hurting me or my parents, I can't do it. I don't want to be anywhere near you."

  "You don't seem to understand. I'll still do whatever I have to do to keep you quiet, whether you're with Gavin or not."

  "If I'm not with him, I won't have to continue to see you. Or to hear Gavin tell me how great you are. Why would you even want me to be with him? I don't fit in your world. I'm not rich."

  "Neither was I, and yet look at me now." He pauses. "They like you, Kate."

  "Who likes me? Who are you talking about?"

  "So far, you've proven you can keep your mouth shut and that's something they like. Your silence will be rewarded when the time comes."

  "I have no idea what you're talking about."

  "The point is, if you want to keep seeing Gavin, they wouldn't interfere. And neither would I. Celeste might try to but I can deal with her."

  "I don't know what any of this means, but I've already broken up with Gavin. I can't go back to him now."

  "I'm sure he'd take you back."

  "I can't go back to him because of you. You ruined any chance of Gavin and I ever having a future together."

  "It doesn't have to be that way. You can still have a future with him."

  "Not as long as you're around. I'll never be part of your family if you're in it. You're a murderer. I saw you kill a man. And I let you get away with it. I have to live with that, which is bad enough. But having to see you and pretend that I like you? I'd never be able to do that."

  The phone is silent for a moment, then he says, "Our deal still remains. You keep quiet or else."

  The 'or else' makes me think of the shed.

  "Did you plant an explosive in my dad's shed?"

  I wait for him to answer but he doesn't. I look at the phone and see that he hung up.

  "Kate, I'm home," I hear my dad say as he's coming in from the garage.

  "I'm in the living room," I tell him.

  He joins me on the couch, a frown on his face. "How'd it go? With Gavin?"

  I can't even answer him. I just break down crying.

  He pulls me in for a hug. "Honey, I'm so sorry. I wish I could take some of the hurt away, but unfortunately only time can do that."

  I continue to cry until I force the tears to stop. I could cry all night if I let myself.

  "Maybe we should go do something," my dad says. "Get you out of the house."

  My phone rings and I freeze, my eyes on the phone as it continues to ring. "Don't answer it."

  "I wasn't going to." His brows furrow. "What's wrong? You look scared to death."

  Picking up my phone, I see it's Megan calling. I send it to voicemail. "I got a call before you got home. It was Niles."

  My dad turns to me. "Why the hell was he calling you?"

  "To tell me I could still go out with Gavin. He said as long as I keep his secret, I could have a future with Gavin. And then he said they like me."

  My dad shoots up from the couch. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? That they want to make you part of this? Whatever this is?"

  "I don't know, but I told Niles that Gavin and I are done and that I could never go back to him. Not as long as his dad's around."

  "You know what it sounds like when you say that."

  "That I want Niles dead? Yeah, I know. But he killed a man, so maybe he deserves to die. An eye for an eye, right?"
<
br />   "That's not our call to make."

  "I know. I'm just upset and angry and wishing none of this was happening."

  "What else did Niles say?"

  "That I better keep quiet or else. I asked him about your shed but he hung up. I don't think he even heard the question."

  "If he calls again, don't answer it. You shouldn't be talking to him."

  "Did you find anything out about the shed?"

  "They ran some tests but couldn't find anything that would indicate any kind of explosive device."

  "So maybe it really was just an accident."

  The doorbell rings. My dad sighs, "That better not be my assistant. I told her not to bother me for the rest of the day."

  He gets up and answers the door. "Lisa. I didn't know you'd be stopping by."

  "I wanted to check and see how your arm's doing." I can't see her but I can hear them kiss. Weird. I've never seen my dad with anyone but my mom. I'm sure he dated when I was younger but he never brought the woman to the house when I was around.

  "Come inside," my dad says. "I want you to meet my daughter."

  I stand up and smile at a tall, thin, very pretty brunette who seems a few years younger than my dad.

  "Hi, I'm Kate," I say to her.

  "Lisa." She shakes my hand. "It's good to meet you."

  "You too."

  "Kate's going to be staying here for a few weeks," my dad says.

  A few weeks? I can't miss that much work. I called Carol earlier today and told her about my dad and she gave me the week off but I doubt she'll give me any more than that.

  "That's great," Lisa says. "I'm sure your dad's thrilled to have you."

  "I don't know if thrilled's the word," I say jokingly.

  "Kate's just kidding," my dad says. "I love having her here."

  "I'd love to stay," Lisa says, "but I have to get back to work. I just wanted to see if you need me to change the bandage."

  "I do. Let's go in the bathroom."

  The two of them go down the hall and I grab my phone and go in my room. I was going to delete Gavin's messages but I'm too tempted to read them so I lie on my bed and go through his texts. They're all asking me to talk to him. To work things out.

  I'm crying again. Sobbing. Because I feel so bad for hurting him. This wasn't his fault. It's not mine either. It's his dad's and whatever his dad is involved in.

  Next I listen to Gavin's voicemails. The first one says, "Kate, I love you. Please don't do this. Would you please talk to me?"

  The next one says, "I don't know why you're doing this. Is there someone else? God, I hope not. I can't imagine you'd ever do that to me. I know you love me, Kate. So please just give us more time. Don't end this."

  Does he really think I'd cheat on him? I'd never do that. I think he just said it because he's desperate to find a way to explain this. I keep thinking I should've come up with a better story to tell him but there wasn't one. Because the truth is, we belong together, not apart. Our differences mean nothing. We love each other and that's all that counts.

  I fall asleep and don't wake up until I hear my dad knocking on my door.

  "Kate?"

  "Yeah, come in." I sit up.

  "It's after five. Why don't we go get some dinner? You missed lunch. You must be starving."

  "Not really. But yeah, we could have dinner."

  "How about the pizza place you used to like so much?"

  "Gulletti's? That's still open?"

  "Still open, and still has that salad you like."

  The place we're talking about has great pizza and they serve it with this salad that has some kind of homemade dressing that's the best I've ever had.

  "I don't know how much I'll be able to eat but Gulletti's would be great."

  We go to the restaurant and it's like being a kid again. My dad and I used to go here all the time when I was staying with him. That's probably why he suggested this place. Because it reminds me of a better time. A time when things weren't so complicated, and sad.

  I don't say much through dinner and when I get home, I go straight to my room and check my phone. There isn't a single message from Gavin. I thought I'd at least have one or two, but why would he bother? I didn't respond to any of his other messages so why keep trying? Maybe he's accepted that it's over, or he's trying to by not contacting me.

  I have several texts from Megan, asking why I'm staying here an entire week. Then I see she left me a voicemail while I was at dinner. I listen to it.

  "You broke up with Gavin?" she says in her message, practically yelling. "And you didn't tell me? What's going on? Call me!"

  Knowing I can't avoid her, I call her back.

  She picks up right away. "You have some explaining to do."

  "How did you find out?"

  "Gavin came over here. He asked me if I knew what was going on with you."

  "And what did you say?"

  "I told him I had no idea you were breaking up with him. What happened? Did you guys have a fight?"

  "No. I've just been doing a lot of thinking and realized we aren't right together."

  "Of course you're right together. You love each other."

  "We're not a good fit. He's rich. I'm poor. He's sophisticated. I'm not. I could go on all day."

  "Okay, first of all you're not poor. You're middle class. And even though Gavin comes from money he doesn't act like it. He doesn't go out of his way to show it off."

  "I know but—"

  "And what do you mean you're not sophisticated? That's not true at all. Did someone tell you that?"

  "Well, no, but—"

  "These are just excuses. What's the real reason you broke up with him?"

  "I gave you the real reason. I just don't see a future with Gavin. We're too different."

  She's quiet.

  "Megan. Why aren't you saying anything?"

  "You didn't—I mean, you're not...seeing someone else, are you?"

  "Are you serious?" I raise my voice, angry that she'd even think that. "You know I'd never cheat on Gavin, or any guy."

  "Sorry, I'm just trying to figure this out because it doesn't make sense. Just a few days ago you were totally in love with him and then you break up with him? It doesn't add up."

  "I told you, I've been doing a lot of thinking."

  "This all started last week. You kept avoiding Gavin and not letting him come over. So what happened last week? Did his parents say something to you when you were catering that party at their house? Did they say you couldn't date him?" She's talking really fast, which she always does when she's formulating a theory. "That had to be it. You're someone who seeks approval so when they told you they didn't approve of you being with their son, you broke up with him."

  "That's not what happened. And I'm not someone who seeks approval."

  "You don't have to do what they say. Just because his parents are rich doesn't give them the power to tell you and Gavin how to live your lives. Just ignore them."

  "Megan, you're not listening. They never told me to break up with him."

  "Then what's the reason? Why'd you tell him it's over?"

  "I already explained this to you. We're not good together. We don't fit."

  "That's a lie. If that were true, you would've talked to me about it, and then I would've told you you're being crazy and you would've said, 'yes, Megan, you're right as always' and then you'd still be with Gavin instead of hiding out at your dad's place."

  "I'm not hiding. And I didn't talk to you about this because—"

  "It's not gonna help. You know that, right? You can only hide for so long. Eventually you have to come back here and face Gavin."

  "I'm not going to see him again. So if he shows up at our door, you need to tell him to go."

  "I'm not telling him that. That's your job."

  "Megan, I really need your support on this. I can't see him. It hurts too much."

  "Which just proves how much you love him."

  "Speaking of love," I say, attem
pting to change the subject, "Decker knows you love him. He heard you yell it down the hall when I was leaving yesterday."

  "I didn't say I love him. What are you talking about?"

  "You yelled 'I love him' just as he was coming down the hall."

  "I said I don't love him."

  "That's not what it sounded like. Anyway, you should've seen how Decker's face lit up when he heard you say it."

  "So that's why he was acting so weird. He kept smiling at me and I couldn't figure out why."

  "Kate." My dad knocks on my door. "Could you come out here, please?"

  "Yeah, just a minute." I talk into the phone. "Megan, I have to go. My dad needs me."

  "How's he doing? You never said."

  "Good. His arm is all bandaged up but the rest of him is fine. I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

  "Yeah. Bye."

  When I open my door, my dad is standing there.

  "I need to know what you want me to do," he says.

  "About what?"

  He nods toward the living room. "He just got here. I wasn't sure if I should let him in but he looked like hell and he'd driven all this way."

  "Gavin's here?"

  "If you want me to send him away, I will."

  "Kate." I hear his voice, then see him standing behind my dad.

  My dad turns to him. "I asked you to wait in the living room."

  "Dad, it's fine," I tell him. But it's not fine. I didn't expect Gavin to show up here. I'm not prepared for this. I miss him and want to see him but seeing him only makes this harder.

  "If he's staying," my dad says to me, "you two are talking in the living room, not your bedroom. I'll go wait in my office until you're done."

  He acts like I'm still a teenager. Back then, he never let a boy step foot in my room.

  I go around him and walk down the hall to the living room with Gavin right behind me. We sit on the couch and I wait until I hear my dad's office door close.

  When it does, I say to Gavin, "What are you doing here?" I try to be cold and show no emotion, but it's so hard. I want to hug him and not let go until that sad look on his face is gone.

  My dad's right. Gavin looks like hell, his eyes red, his hair a mess.

  "This isn't over," he says, leaning forward, his arms resting on his knees. "Your reason for ending things doesn't even make sense. You know that, Kate. You know it as well as I do. Hell, even Megan knows it. I went to see her today and she couldn't believe you'd done this. It didn't make sense to her either."