Don't Forget Me_Ridgewater High

by Judy Corry

  Jess appeared to mull this over as he tapped his fingers on the top of the steering wheel. “Was that the one playing on the radio all last spring?”

  I nodded, happy he’d at least heard of it.

  “What makes it so romantic in your opinion?”

  “I don’t know, it's just…” I trailed off, wishing I’d had the foresight to pick a different song. Why in the world had I named a love song when talking to him of all people? But I needed to get past my awkwardness if I was ever gonna make something happen, plus that song would be perfect for remembering this weekend. I just hoped I could make it out of this truck without completely humiliating myself.

  I finally said, “How about we listen to it. You can decide for yourself if it’s a good song for this trip.” I hoped he’d think it was a good song anyway.

  “Okay.” Jess connected his phone to the truck’s speakers, and soon, after a little search, More Than I Wanted started playing. I listened at the familiar piano-and-guitar intro. A moment later, Terrence sang:

  You know this year’s been rough without you

  Don’t know how I made it through

  Each day I thought about you

  Wishing that you wanted me too

  You make my world so much brighter

  You’re the sun that warms up my heart

  When storm clouds burst all around me

  That’s when I find shelter with you

  I wanna hold you close

  Need to kiss your lips

  Let you know that you’re wanted

  And as the years pass by

  I want you by my side, forever

  And never let you forget it

  Because you’re so much more than I wanted

  As we listened, I thought about how much it sounded like a fairytale. To have someone feel that way about me, really feel that way about me, was impossible to imagine. No one had ever cared about me like that. How could I even hope Jess might?

  “What are you thinking about?” Jess asked as Terrence sang the next verse.

  “I’m thinking about how wonderful it must feel to have someone want you like that.” My face burned with embarrassment when our eyes met. “You must think that’s stupid.”

  “No. I was thinking the same thing,” he said. The look on his face was one I didn’t see often. It was a quiet look, like he was pondering the words Terrence sang. “I guess I can imagine feeling that way about someone. But I don’t know what it would be like to have those feelings reciprocated.”

  “Did you feel that way about Kelsie?”

  Jess chuckled and shook his head. “No, I definitely didn’t feel that way about Kelsie. And I know for a fact that I’m not everything she wants in a guy, it was obvious by the way she treated me.”

  “So you really are glad you broke up with her?”

  He nodded. “I kind of wish I could go back and tell myself not to go on that first date with her. Things might have been so different if I hadn’t.”

  What did he mean by that? I had to ask him the question that had taunted me since last spring.

  I ran my fingers along my seatbelt, trying to gain courage. “Why did you start dating her in the first place?”

  Jess pursed his lips and thought for a moment, sucking in a deep breath. “I think I dated her because I didn’t have the self-confidence to go after someone better.”

  Who? Could it be me? I had to know!

  “Are you talking about a specific someone, or someone in the general sense?”

  I held my breath.

  “Specific.” He looked pointedly into my eyes, as if communicating much more than that one word said.

  My insides turned to mush, twisting and contracting so much that I felt like I was falling off a ten-story building.

  “I-I wish you’d chosen the other girl, too.”

  Silence.

  Silence on the outside anyway. It felt like the walls of the truck were closing in on me as the rain pounded on the windshield. My mind screamed. What did you do? Why did you put yourself out there like that? What if he was talking about someone completely different?

  But then Jess looked at me in a way that told me he felt EXACTLY the same way.

  I waited. Finally, he cleared his throat and asked, “Do you want to go back to my house for some hot chocolate before I take you home?”

  Chapter Seventeen

  The Brooks’ house was mostly dark when we arrived, except for the porch light that was left on, a welcoming sight.

  “They’re probably still at Macey’s ballet recital,” Jess said as he unlocked the front door and flicked on the entryway light.

  “Do you think Ashlyn's back yet?” I shut the door behind me, still feeling anxious about our conversation in the car.

  “Probably not, she said she and Luke were planning to watch a movie tonight at his house.” Jess led the way into the kitchen. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable on the porch and I’ll come out when the hot chocolate is ready.”

  I sighed, relieved I’d have a moment to gather my wits before moving on to the next portion of the night. Which was…? I still didn’t know. But I was hoping it would be good. So I made my way to the bench in the enclosed porch. The rain had stopped, and the clouds had somehow already cleared to reveal the stars. They were bright tonight, and I had a clear view of them from where I sat. Growing up, Jess, Ashlyn, and I frequently sat here, looking at the stars. I drew in a deep breath, letting the quiet night calm my nerves.

  When Jess came out with our mugs, he smelled like he’d freshened up his cologne. My insides got all twisted up at the thought of him doing that for me.

  “One cinnamon hot chocolate for you,” he said, handing me a big teal-blue mug.

  “Thank you.” I tested it to make sure it wasn’t too hot before taking a bigger sip. It was so good, with just the right amount of cinnamon.

  Jess sat down next to me, close enough that his leg pressed against mine. I didn’t move my leg away.

  We were quiet for a while as I tried to figure out something to say. I was pretty sure he’d hinted at liking me in the truck, but what was I supposed to do now?

  I gazed up at the sky and finally had an idea.

  “Do you still remember all those constellations you used to talk about?”

  He nodded, seeming relieved that I’d broken the awkward silence. “Do you want me to show you a few?”

  “Yeah.” I set my mug on the ground. “I think it's about time I learn how to find more than the Big Dipper.”

  “I’ll say.” Jess gestured at the window. “Let’s go out on the deck. We can see more from there.”

  We walked outside to the deck, zipping our coats for more warmth.

  “First, let’s find Orion’s Belt.” He pulled me up to where he was, and pointed ahead of him. “Do you see those three bright stars in a row?”

  I gazed in the direction he was pointing, but the stars all looked the same to me. “Not really.”

  “Let’s try this.” He moved to stand directly behind me. He placed his head over my shoulder so his cheek rested against mine, his scruff tickling my cheek.

  I told myself he was doing this so we would be looking from the same vantage point, but that didn’t keep my heart from going from a gallop to a sprint in a matter of seconds.

  He took my hand and positioned one of my fingers until it was where he wanted it to be. “You should be pointing at the middle star of Orion’s Belt. Now do you see it?”

  “Yeah,” I breathed. “I can see it.”

  “Great.” Jess moved my arm, his fingers trembling slightly. Was he as nervous as I was? Why were we so nervous? “That star there is called Alnitak. That one is Alnilam. And that one is Mintaka.” He guided my finger to find each star in Orion’s Belt.

  I managed to nod, feeling tongue-tied. Jess let my arm drop to my side.

  He stepped back, settling beside me, which left me feeling chilled without the warmth of his body next to mine.

  I wrapped
my arms around myself as I shivered.

  “It is kinda cold out here, huh?” Jess looked at me as if debating what to do next.

  I nodded, and he hesitantly came back and wrapped his arms around my waist. I tensed when his hot breath crept over my neck as he rested his face next to mine again. “Is this any better?”

  “Much better,” I whispered. But he was certainly making it hard for me to breathe.

  “Good.” He tilted his face toward the sky again.

  Jess showed me Betelgeuse and Bellatrix next, which I learned were the stars at Orion’s shoulders.

  “Do you know what the brightest star in the sky is?” Jess asked after going over the rest of Orion.

  “The North Star?” I had no clue.

  “You mean, Polaris?” he asked.

  “Sure.”

  “Actually no, that’s not the brightest. Sirius is.” He pointed southwest of Orion. “It’s also called the Dog Star.”

  I stood there in quiet awe as Jess continued. I could almost feel my mind expanding. It was amazing how much was out there in the universe that I didn’t know about. There were millions of stars, so incredibly far away, and yet we could still see them and learn about them. “How do you know all this stuff?”

  “Have you forgotten already?” Jess said quietly next to my ear. “Don’t you remember what a nerd I was growing up? I always had my nose stuck in a book or was looking things up on Wikipedia.”

  “You were not a nerd.” I glanced over my shoulder. “You were smart.”

  “I sure looked like a nerd.”

  I shook my head. He’d been insecure about his looks for way too long. “You look great, Jess. I’ve always thought so.” And to an even greater degree these past months.

  “Really?” His voice was swamped with disbelief. “I seem to remember you daydreaming about the buff guys from that reality dating show you and Ashlyn always watched. You know, the ones who put us regular guys to shame.”

  “You don’t give yourself enough credit…or me, for that matter. And anyway, you look more like a rugged mountain man today.”

  “That’s what I was going for.” I heard the smile in his voice. “So is the lumberjack look one I should repeat?”

  I bit my lip, remembering how I’d had such a hard time keeping my eyes off him today.

  “I’ll take that as a yes.” He squeezed me briefly.

  His phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out, looked at the screen, and sent the call to voicemail. The screen had showed an image of Kelsie smiling at him.

  “Do you mind if we play that song again?” he asked, pressing the buttons on his phone to open his playlist.

  “I’m pretty sure I could listen to that song all night.”

  Once the song was playing, he set it down on the deck’s railing. As the intro played, Jess slipped his arms around my waist again, and we rocked side to side to the beat.

  “I know I wasn’t so sure about listening to a country song earlier,” Jess whispered in my ear, sending chills down my spine. “But I think this song is perfect.”

  My stomach tangled up in knots.

  We swayed for a time as we listened to the music.

  As Terrence sang the chorus, Jess lightly pressed his lips to my neck.

  I wanna hold you close,

  Need to kiss your lips,

  Let you know that you’re wanted.

  I tilted my head to the side, and Jess swept my hair back before kissing my neck again. His beard tickled my skin as he moved to the spot below my ear.

  He spoke, and there was a roughness in his voice that I’d never heard before. “I should probably take you home now.”

  I swallowed. “Why?”

  “Because if we don’t leave now, things are going to change.” He loosened his arms from around my waist, allowing me to turn and face him.

  “What if I want things to change?” I asked, lifting my eyes to his, which were practically smoldering.

  His Adam’s apple shifted and his eyes seemed to ask if I meant it.

  Jess took a deep breath and finally said, “Then I’d have to tell you how beautiful you are.” He lifted a hand to my face and ran his thumb along my cheek. “How I have a hard time keeping my eyes off you whenever we’re together.”

  I let my head rest against his hand, trying to tell him with my eyes how much I wanted him to continue.

  “And I’d have to tell you that I’ve wanted you for a long time.”

  My body went tingly all over, my heart thudding in my chest. “Really?”

  He leaned closer, his eyes burning into me as he spoke just above a whisper. “Really.”

  His mouth came down on mine and he kissed me softly, slowly. Electricity surged through my veins as he coaxed my lips to move with his.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. He was warm and strong, and when his hands flattened against my back, pressing me against him, I knew my dreams were finally coming true. I pushed up on my toes, needing to be even closer to him.

  “You still taste like strawberries,” Jess said after a minute. It took a moment for my brain to realize he must be talking about my strawberry lip gloss.

  Had he remembered my lip gloss from our kiss last spring?

  “H-have you thought about that kiss since then?” I asked, hesitantly.

  He pulled me closer. “Lots of times.”

  “Lots of times?” What? My head was spinning. I thought I was the only one who ever thought about that.

  “Yeah,” he breathed.

  The rest of the world fell away as he kissed me again. It didn’t matter that we’d been friends since we were kids. It didn’t matter that he had just broken up with someone. I only cared that Jess was kissing me. ME. And he seemed to want this as much as I did.

  “Are you cold?” I mumbled against his lips, knowing we should stop soon so we could talk about this.

  “No.” He kissed me again, shaking his head as he leaned against the rail, pulling me snugly against him. “What about you?”

  I sighed. “Nope.”

  Minutes flew by. Our kisses were slow, igniting with passion.

  I needed to put a stop to this before I lost my self-control. “We have to talk about what’s going on, Jess.”

  He didn’t seem to hear me.

  “Jess…”

  “We can talk later. I’ve waited way too long to kiss you like this.” He nuzzled his face into my hair, breathing me in. “You seriously smell so good.” His fingers found my hair, and he wrapped a lock around his finger.

  Was he trying to distract me? If he was, it worked. He found my lips again and moved a hand to cradle my head. He murmured, “Do you really want to talk now? We can, if you do.”

  I tried to think about it, but my mind couldn’t focus on anything other than how good it felt to be in his arms, kissing him. So I shook my head and said, “We can talk later.”

  I felt his lips quirk up into a smile. “I like that plan.”

  Not thinking, I grabbed his shirt through his open coat and slid my hands up his chest and along his shoulders. “Do you wanna watch a movie?” I asked between kisses.

  “I’m pretty sure we’ve already watched all the movies.” Was he out of breath? Because of me?

  “Hmm…wait, what?” It was a lie, but I didn’t care to argue.

  “I don’t wanna watch a movie.” He slowly led me back through the porch door and to the bench again where we managed to sit down without kicking over our mugs. “But I’m sure we’ll come up with something in a minute.”

  “Yeah.” My voice quivered. This was insane! I seemed to be hypnotized, like my mind had detached itself from my body somehow and melted my inhibitions away. I knew I should push him away soon, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to kiss Jess, and I wanted to kiss him for a long, long time.

  I didn’t know how long we sat on the bench, but I came back to my senses when I heard the door creak open behind us. Jess and I broke apart. Ashen-faced, I looked toward the door, knowing we’
d been caught by someone in his family. I hoped it wasn’t his mom. When I saw who was there, my hand flew to my lips. I gasped.

  Standing a few feet away in her high-heeled boots and tailored white wool coat was Kelsie. Her eyes were wide as she stared at us with a look of complete horror.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Kelsie! What are you doing here?” Jess jumped to his feet and stood in front of me, as if trying to hide me from her view. But I knew she’d already seen me.

  She folded her arms and arched her eyebrows way up. “This is why you tried to break up with me over the phone? So you could make out with your little slut without feeling guilty?” Her glare turned to me. “How long has this been going on? I knew I couldn’t trust you to keep your hands off him.”

  “Whoa, Kelsie!” Jess raised his hands in front of him. “Calm down!”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down!” Kelsie stomped. “I’m not the bad guy here.”

  Jess turned back to me. He didn’t look like he felt guilty, or regretted kissing me. He said in a low voice, “I better talk to her, I’ll be back in a bit.” He ushered Kelsie inside the house, leaving me to wonder what he would say to her.

  I watched them through the windows. Jess took Kelsie into the family room and turned on a lamp before sitting on the couch with her. Why was Kelsie here anyway? Was she hoping to get him back?

  The cold air that had been nipping at my toes all night was finally too much for me, now that I didn’t have Jess keeping me warm.

  I looked around for a blanket in the basket by the bench, but it was empty. I couldn’t go in the house and interrupt them—that would be awkward and would probably make things worse.

  Instead, I opened the porch door and snuck out the back gate. Jess and I would figure things out later. If I hurried I could probably make it on the last bus of the night. I didn’t know what Jess was going to do. But he had kissed me. He liked me! I should feel bad for what Kelsie was going through, but I couldn’t care about Kelsie when things were finally so great for me.

  When I slipped through the back door, I found my mom sitting in the dark. I flicked on the light. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a cigarette in her left hand. When had she started smoking? My stomach knotted. What else did I not know about her anymore?