She Will Rejoice

by Riker, Becky

He couldn’t resist, “How did you come in? I know Victoria locked the door, and you had to unlock it for her.”

  Naomi looked momentarily surprised, but she soon reverted to the anger, “I suppose you would like to know, so it does not happen again.”

  He grasped her upper arms, “It will not happen again regardless of what you tell me, love. It is my curiosity not my fear that makes me ask the question.”

  She looked away from him, “I believed you once.”

  His heart sank.

  “I do not think I can do it again.”

  Finn stood up and left her room, unable to bear her coldness anymore.

  Naomi spent as little time with him as possible the following two days. Finn was frustrated because he did not know how to prove his regret if she would not remain in the room with him. He missed her, but he did not think telling her would change anything, so he kept his mouth shut.

  For a few nights he joined her in her bed after she went to sleep, but she woke one morning before him. His eyes opened to her stare. He sat up and prepared for her questions, but they never came. Instead, she just rose and went to dress for the day.

  Finn did not enter her room again.

  They went together to her parents’ house for Christmas. Finn had not previously spent much time in conversation with any of her family. Had he been on better terms with Naomi, the experience would have been quite enjoyable.

  Her brother, Asa, had a quick wit and was eager to converse on any topic. The younger man held a fondness for his sister that was as evident in the stories he told as in the way he spoke to her. Finn was pleased to see she maintained that relationship.

  Before they left, Asa drew him aside.

  “Naomi seems a little out of sorts today,” his intense stare almost made Finn nervous.

  “She is,” Finn did not see any good in trying to conceal it.

  “Has she been this way very long?” Asa pressed. “Her letters were so full of stories and hope, I had imagined her happy.”

  Finn felt he could safely tell part of the story without completely implicating himself, “I believe she was happy, but I did something rather foolish, and she is not quite ready to forgive me yet.”

  Asa nodded as though he expected as much, “What did you do?”

  Finn laughed to cover his irritation at the question, “That is between my wife and me.”

  Asa shrugged, “I suppose it is, but I’d like to make a recommendation.”

  Finn doubted the man could offer him any helpful information, but he listened anyway.

  “Don’t do it again.”

  Finn wasn’t about to tell him this was already the second time she had caught him in a compromising situation.

  “My sister has a memory like a bear trap. Once something is caught in there, it isn’t getting out.”

  Finn bit back the groan and went to escort his wife to the carriage.

  She seemed slightly more relaxed after seeing her family. Finn wanted to take advantage of the situation to improve their standing, but he feared stirring the waters.

  He settled on a safe topic, “Your brother reminds me a bit of you.”

  She had been looking out the window, watching the passing scenery. She glanced back at him but didn’t speak.

  Finn tried again, “He enjoys conversation.”

  “Do you think I talk too much?”

  Finn was not expecting her to take that from his statement, “I said no such thing.”

  “It was the implication.”

  “No,” he tamped down his irritation, “conversation implies speaking and listening. Had I said your brother was a good talker, you could infer I meant you talk too much, but I did not say that.”

  She blew an unladylike huff out her nose. It was so incongruous with her appearance and normal bearing, Finn couldn’t help but smile.

  She noticed and scowled.

  “I like it when you make that noise.”

  She looked askance at him, “The noise of disgust?”

  Finn’s smile dropped from his face, “Please forgive me for saying I like something about you.”

  Naomi did not even accept his hand to get out of the carriage. He was pretty sure Randolph noticed, but the coachman was gracious enough to look the other way.

  Finn was pleased Naomi accompanied his mother and him to his sister’s home the following day. After their conversation in the coach, he was not certain she would.

  His mother spent the carriage ride complaining about the cold, the ruts in the road, and the fact that Lord and Lady Dunham could not be bothered to make the journey.

  “One would think Theodosia would take my age and position into consideration before requesting we join her,” Diana Haydn spoke through tight lips. “After all, it was I who forwarded her so she could marry the earl.”

  Finn well remembered his mother’s attempts to gain favor with Lord Nicholas’s family. Despite all she did and Nick’s family’s disapproval, he did fall in love with kindhearted Tessa Haydn.

  Naomi did not respond except with a roll of her eyes that Diana missed but Finn did not.

  “I suppose your own mother was well,” Diana spoke to her daughter-in-law without looking at the younger woman.

  Naomi returned the favor by looking out her own window while answering, “She expressed her disappointment at you not joining us, but she is otherwise well.”

  “Has anything come of your brother courting Lady Mardling?”

  Finn wondered how his mother managed to gain all the gossip of the county. She rarely left home and even more rarely had company.

  A flicker of concern passed over Naomi’s face, “I do not believe they have entered into a courtship, Mrs. Haydn. There have been rumors of it, of course, but they are the kind passed by servants who have nothing better to do.”

  Finn’s eyes widened at the implication that his mother was listening to gossip from her servants.

  Diana apparently did not miss what Naomi was suggesting. She had better sense than to respond to it, however.

  Finn was relieved beyond words when the carriage pulled up in front of his sister’s home.

  “Finn,” Tessa opened her arms to him, “it is so good to see you.”

  He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “You look lovely. Where is Nick?”

  She smiled as she passed by him and greeted Naomi warmly, “In his study, but he will be out in one minute. Naomi,” she embraced her new sister, “how cold you must be. Come into the parlor.”

  “Do not bother yourself with me,” Diana had somehow managed to get pushed off to the side in the greetings.

  Finn knew his mother was looking for a reason to complain, and he did not know whether to hope his sister would cater to her or hope she would ignore her.

  Tessa’s mouth thinned slightly, “Welcome to my home, Mother,” she gave the older woman a peck on the cheek. “Please come in.”

  The ladies shed their outer garments and went to sit by the fire. Finn remained standing.

  “Was it a terribly cold journey?” Tessa had a tea ready for them.

  Naomi shook her head, but she could not get an answer out before Diana spoke up.

  “It was beyond frigid. I suppose we should all catch a chill from it.”

  “Mother,” Tessa passed her a tea cup, “were it any warmer, you would complain of the heat.”

  Finn coughed.

  Even Naomi looked like she was fighting a smile.

  “Is your uncle here?” Diana ignored the rebuke.

  “He and Aunt Rhoda are out in the garden,” Nicholas entered the room. “They thought to take advantage of the warmer weather today.”

  Naomi dabbed at her lips, Tessa nearly choked on her tea, and Finn laughed aloud.

  “It is good to see you, Haydn,” Lord Dunham extended a hand.

  “You as well, Nick. How was your Christmas celebration with your parents?”

  Nicholas came into the room and took a seat near his wife, “It was blessed. My sister, you
know, just had a baby – a girl.”

  Naomi looked up the earl, “What did they name her?”

  Tessa chimed in, “Margaret Henrietta, but they call her Lucy.”

  Finn watched his wife laugh. She was lovely when she was happy, still desirable when she was angry, and heartbreaking when she was sad.

  “Would you like to see how the nursery is coming along?” Tessa stood suddenly.

  Naomi glanced at him before looking back to his sister, “I would enjoy that.”

  “I cannot see how you could be entertained by looking at an unfinished room,” the senior Mrs. Haydn didn’t move even as Naomi and the men rose.

  “You are certainly welcome to remain here and finish your cup of tea, Mother,” Tessa barely looked over her shoulder on her way out.

  The nursery was beautiful, but Finn did not have as much patience for the minute details as did his wife. Nicholas must have seen his boredom.

  “Care to see my plans for field expansion?”

  Finn agreed readily.

  “How have things been between you and Mrs. Haydn since you arrived home?” Nicholas questioned him as they walked toward the study.

  Finn didn’t know how to respond to that. Nicholas was a gentleman in every sense of the word, and Finn had been pleased when he asked for Tessa’s hand. However, he had some strange beliefs. Nicholas and his family and, now Tessa, believed they could have a personal relationship with God.

  Finn had thought this claim to a relationship would make them more pious, but Nicholas was one of the least judgmental people Finn knew. He was also slow to anger, as evidenced by how many times Diana had attempted to provoke the man and failed.

  “I am guessing, by your silence,” Nicholas spoke again, “that things are not as well as they were while on your wedding trip.”

  Finn wished he could go back and give a trite answer, but Nicholas would not believe it now.

  “We have had some struggles.”

  Nicholas closed the study door after his brother-in-law, “Something you care to talk about?”

  Finn figured, if anyone could help him, it would be Nick.

  “She is angry with me right now,’ he paused. “And rightly so.”

  Nicholas perched on the edge of the desk as Finn paced.

  “I was in my room one morning with a chamber maid,” he began and then realized how vague that sounded. “We were talking.”

  Finn glanced at Nicholas and realized he needed to be honest if this was going to be helpful, “Flirting.”

  Finn waited for the condemnation, but Nick’s expression remained open.

  “Naomi came in and became angry,” Finn felt some irritation when he thought about it now.

  “She thought you were behaving wrongly toward the maid?”

  “She doesn’t think the maid should even be in the same room as me.”

  “She’s right about that,” Nicholas supplied his opinion, “but that is pretty easy to repair.”

  “She forgave me for that,” he admitted.

  Nick’s brows furrowed.

  “Rowan came over and opened his mouth about a relationship I once had with a certain widow.”

  Nicholas grimaced, “Before you met, Naomi, I hope.”

  Finn wished it had ended there, “Yes.”

  “There’s more,” Nicholas prompted him.

  Finn was beginning to wonder why he had chosen to open up to his sister’s husband.

  “You do not have to tell me, Finn,” Nicholas assured him, “but if you choose to, please know I will never share this with anyone – not even my wife.”

  “A couple days past, she came into my study while I was with the same widow Rowan spoke of.”

  Nicholas peered at him through one squinted eye, “Talking?”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Flirting, then.”

  “No conversation at all,” Finn’s voice was loud and harsh enough to cause the other man to start. “Sorry.”

  “What were you doing?” Nicholas clearly did not care about Finn’s tone as much as he cared about the story.

  “She was kissing me,” the words rushed out.

  Nicholas groaned, “She was kissing you or the two of you were kissing?”

  “What difference does that make?”

  Nicholas rose, “It makes a great deal of difference. First and foremost, one of them is a betrayal of your vows and the other is just stupidity at allowing yourself to be in a situation where she could accost you.”

  “It was a kiss,” Finn argued, “I had not bedded the woman.”

  Nicholas harrumphed, “Did you not vow to forsake all others, keeping only to her?”

  Finn did not care for the direction the conversation was taking, “What is your other point?”

  Nicholas raised his eyebrows.

  “You said my vows were the first point. What was the second?”

  “Oh,” Nicholas placed a hand on Finn’s shoulder, “Can you imagine what that looked like to Naomi? Had she come in and you were backing away from a woman who was attempting to seduce you, it would be one thing, but if you had this woman in your embrace. . .”

  Finn scrubbed a hand over his face.

  Nicholas did not require an answer to his question. Finn was sure the earl knew the kiss had been mutual.

  “So, what do I do?”

  “I do not know that there is anything you can do.”

  Finn was not encouraged.

  “I think you would be better off leaving it alone.”

  Finn was appalled, “And relegate myself to a lifetime of her cold treatment? Had I not known what kind of person she is, I may be able to do thus, but I could never go back now.”

  “What do you mean?” Nicholas rocked back on his heels, “What kind of person is she?”

  Finn felt himself coloring.

  Nick’s eyes widened, “You are actually in love with her. I had thought because your mother forced you. . .”

  Finn growled.

  “But you have fallen in love with her,” Nicholas was in awe.

  “I cannot see how that has any bearing on the situation one way or another.”

  “It does,” Nicholas turned and went to sit down at his desk. “It makes it worse.”

  Finn dropped to a chair.

  “Be faithful from here on out,” Nicholas finally spoke up again. “It could take many months, years even, to fully regain her trust.”

  Finn couldn’t stand to hear it, “Years?!”

  “You made the blunder, my friend. You are going to have to pay the price.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Tessa was eager to show her friend all the details of the coming baby’s room as well as the layette. Naomi tried to attend, but she could not stop thinking about other things.

  Tessa must have noticed.

  “What is troubling you?”

  Naomi did not desire to go into all the details, so she tried to approach the matter from a distant angle, “You said once that your relationship with Nicholas progressed because of your shared faith.”

  Tessa lowered herself into a rocking chair, “Please, sit,” she indicated the small sofa.

  Naomi felt too restless to be seated, but she did as she was told.

  “I do believe that our shared faith was a big attraction for each of us. I do not know many men who are willing to rely on someone other than themselves. It takes a certain kind of strength to admit you cannot do it alone.”

  Naomi was confused, “Cannot do what alone?”

  “We cannot live or breathe without God. More importantly, we cannot save ourselves.”

  Naomi was not comfortable with this conversation any more than she was comfortable speaking of her husband’s infidelity.

  Tessa either did not notice or did not care, “Our only hope for salvation is Jesus.”

  “And Nicholas believes this too?” Naomi could not stop the question.

  Tessa nodded.

  Naomi chewed her lip, “But Finn does not.”
<
br />   Tessa shook her head, “I do not believe Finn thinks he needs anyone or anything but himself.”

  Naomi did not think that was true. Finn seemed to need her. As she was mulling this over, Tessa stood and held out her hand, “We should probably go back to the parlor and see if the others are waiting for us.”

  The ladies arrived back in the parlor to find Rhoda and George had returned to the house.

  “Where is mother?” Tessa took a seat next to her aunt.

  “She went to lie down,” George’s smile was tight.

  Naomi wondered if Mr. Clark and Mrs. Haydn had argued or perhaps there was a quarrel between the Clarks themselves.

  “I think I shall go see what the gentlemen are about,” he hurried from the room.

  “Your letter was such a nice surprise, my dear,” Mrs. Clark held out a hand to her new niece. “It was kind of you to write to us while on your wedding trip.”

  “Finn was writing to your husband anyway,” Naomi responded pleasantly. “It was no trouble at all.”

  Tessa chuckled, “Finn even spared a moment to write a few lines to me. I dare say that is the first time he has bothered with anything save business while he on holiday.”

  Mrs. Clark patted Naomi’s hand, “You are good for him.”

  Naomi was surprised, “I did nothing, Mrs. Clark. I did not even suggest he write to Tessa.”

  Mrs. Clark laughed, “I do wish you would call me Aunt Rhoda.”

  Naomi permitted a small smile.

  “You do not seem as exuberant as when I have met you in the past, Naomi,” Rhoda frowned. “Are you unwell?”

  “Not at all, I assure you.”

  Tessa leaned forward, “Are you with child? I know it is too soon to be sharing such news if you are, but I have been so hoping for a cousin for this one,” she caressed her own belly fondly.

  Naomi colored.

  “You have embarrassed her, Tessa,” Rhoda chided.

  “I do not believe I am expecting,” she refuted the idea.

  “Then what is the matter?” Rhoda pressed. “I cannot say I have noticed anything amiss, but we hardly know each other. I do rely on Tessa’s good judgment, though. She is most keen.”

  Naomi forced a broader smile to her lips, “I am well, and I can think of nothing that should give you concern. I am, perhaps, still feeling the effects of being the new bride – the outsider. It can be a source of stress even when the woman has come into a family so wonderful as yours.”