Say It Again

by S. Moose

  “You’re so tight. Fuck, I can’t last.”

  “It feels so good, Jacob. Keep going.”

  His thrusts are a little faster and I can take it. Our moans fill the room and soon I’m screaming his name, screaming for him to come so I can also. He starts fucking me harder and more demanding until I can’t take it anymore and I come so hard I see stars.

  “Holy shit,” I let out and get up from the bed, turning to look at him, I kiss his gentle lips and pull him in the shower for round two.

  When I open my eyes, I know I’m alone in his bed. Untangling myself from the sheets, I stretch out my body and feel so sore, but in the best way possible from last night of lovemaking and I’m so satisfied. The biggest smile is on my face when I turn over and see a note on the pillow.

  “I love you too,” I whisper and giggle into the soft pillows.

  CARTER AND CAMERON are taking a nap in the living room, leaving me outside with my thoughts.

  Today’s been perfect. When I brought Carter home, Cameron had breakfast ready for us and I didn’t have the heart to tell her we had donuts on the way home so I made sure to tell Carter not to say anything. We enjoyed chocolate chip pancakes with bacon, eggs, and strawberries she picked up from the market. Sitting across from her, I watched as she listened to Carter telling her about his night with his grandma and grandpa. She laughed with him, listened to him, and loved him. I saw the love in her eyes and it made me feel whole.

  There’s no one else for me. Cameron Pratt’s it. No other woman will know me, inside and out, and will show me and my son love. I don’t want any other woman in my bed. Only her. Last night plays in my head, knowing I’ve been the only man to fuck her like I did brings out the caveman in me.

  In the two months since she’s been here, Cameron’s changed into a different woman. She’s not as guarded before. When she looks at me, she doesn’t see the man that left her. She sees the man who’ll give her everything. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.

  Leaving a note for Cameron for when she wakes up, I quietly leave the house and head to my friend, Alex’s, shop in town to look at something. When I walk in I don’t feel constricted or nervous. I’m calm as I look at the rings and try to imagine each one on her finger.

  “What’s going on?” Alex emerges from the back and gives me a one-arm hug. “This is a surprise. You’re not with Brenda, right?”

  “Hell no. She’s up and gone. Haven’t talked to her in years. Last I heard she’s got a new family. I’m with Cameron.”

  “Oh yeah, Aiden mentioned her when I saw him last week. What can I do for you, man?”

  “I want to look at a few engagement rings.”

  Alex smirks and walks around the counter. He pulls out a few pieces. Nothing screams Cameron. She’s simple and elegant. Her personality isn’t shouty and she doesn’t show off what she has. In my eyes, Cameron’s an old school beauty. A classic.

  “I think I have something for you. It’s brand new, something I just created.”

  When he comes back out and shows me three rings, my eyes zone in on the middle ring.

  “Ah, this beauty is a two carat solitaire ring with 14K white gold.”

  I smile to myself, thinking about how excited Cameron would be when she sees me getting down on one knee, telling her how much I love her and asking her to be my forever and always.

  “Aiden showed me a picture of the two of you. She’s beautiful and this would fit her just right.”

  “I think you’re right. Ring it up and can you wrap it for me.”

  “Sure thing.” I hand Alex my credit card and look at the ring again. I’m making the right decision. I’m going to ask Cameron to be my wife.

  The week goes by, Cameron’s been over every night. Waking up next to her every morning, and going to bed with her every night, is perfection. Sometimes Carter would come into our bedroom if he’s had a bad dream. When Carter’s not in our bed, we spend the night making love and talking about the future. I listen to her talk about her new job with Valentine Financial, and she gives me feedback about the graphics I’m working on.

  We’re at the airport now for my three-day trip to Chicago. Carter and Cameron are waiting at the start of the security checkpoint. I don’t want to leave. Seeing the look on both their faces makes me want to call my boss and tell him I’m done.

  “Don’t do that.” Cameron smiles. “It’s hard when you leave, but you love your job and you’re so good at what you do.”

  “I know.” I give her a small smile and kneel down in front of Carter. “Hey, little man. I’ll be back on Friday. Be good for Cameron and I’ll FaceTime you guys when I can.”

  “I’ll be good. Have a safe flight.” Carter takes Cameron’s hand and pulls her forward so we’re giving each other a hug. “I love you, Daddy.”

  “I love you too, buddy.” Leaning over I kiss Cameron’s lips and tell her the same thing.

  “Text me when you land.”

  “I will.”

  Turning to get in line, I look back and give them a final wave before going through security and to my gate.

  The flight’s quick and I’m greeted by Tony’s driver. When we get to the building, I meet Tony in his office and we get right to work.

  “I saw your Facebook post,” he tells me while looking through some files.

  I recently made an account for the hell of it and put myself in a relationship with Cameron.

  “Really, Tony?”

  “What? I like to know that my people are happy. You look happy, my man. She’s a beautiful woman.”

  “Yeah.” I nod and finalize the graphic before turning my computer to show him.

  “Stop for a minute and call her. We’ve been at this for hours. I appreciate your dedication, Jacob, but take it from me who has been married and divorced five times. Don’t take her for granted. Next time bring her and your son.”

  “She’s got a job now and Carter’s starting school soon.”

  “Well, I’ll see what I can do to limit your travel,” Tony tells me. I don’t want to be overly excited. This is what I want to hear. I simply give him a nod and get up to text Cameron.

  Girlfriend: Things are good. Watching TV with Grace. Carter’s in bed. He said he was tired at seven so I put him down.

  Me: Is he sick?

  Girlfriend: No. I took his temp. We were running around today—mall, grocery store, he helped me with dinner, and helped me do some cleaning.

  Me: He did all of that?

  Girlfriend: Yes he sure did! He loves helping me out.

  Me: Good. I got to get back. I’ll talk to you later. I love you.

  Girlfriend: I love you too.

  Tony and I finish up by eleven p.m. and I’m finally in my hotel room. After my shower, I send Cameron a quick goodnight message and pass the fuck out on my bed.

  CARTER’S HANGING OUT with Aiden and Cooper while Grace and I are at lunch. It’s another beautiful day out and I’m soaking in the rays. Shayna gave me the rest of the day off and told me to enjoy it. I love my new job. Everyone’s really nice, warm, and welcoming. My team is small and effective. I’m young compared to everyone. They don’t treat me like I’m an idiot and I’ve proven to them I can handle the pressure and my job. Shayna’s impressed with my work and my team’s ahead with all the reports needed.

  “I’m so glad your job is going well,” Grace claps her hands and takes a drink of her wine. “You look so good!”

  “Thanks. I feel good. How are things with Aiden?”

  “We’re taking things slow. I’m not sure what we are. We hang out all the time and he’s wonderful. So sweet and caring.”

  I laugh and drink my wine. I love seeing Grace like this. She seems happy and at peace with herself.

  “So.” Grace flashes me a smile and uses her sweet tone. I already know what’s about to come. “How are you and Jacob doing?”

  Putting my wine glass to my lips, I take a long drink, and think about the time we’ve spent together. I’m s
o happy and so in love. He shows me what it’s like to feel happy. He’s my happy.

  “Things are good. Really good,” I tell her. “Are you okay with me spending so much time there? I know I came here to spend the summer with you.”

  “Thank you for thinking of me, and yes, I am perfectly fine. I do miss you, so please feel free to come spend the night with me too.”

  I feel bad that I’ve abandoned Grace. This summer is supposed to be about us hanging out and relaxing.

  “When Jacob comes back I promise I’ll be over to snuggle with you.”

  “Yay! Thanks. I don’t want to be all up on Aiden and make him feel suffocated.”

  “Understandable.” I look up at the TV by the bar and nearly drop my fork. Grace sees my reaction and turns to look at what I’m seeing. The tears in my eyes well up and I have no idea if what I’m seeing is true, but it’s right there. The cameras are on them. It’s not something they can make up.

  “Cameron. Don’t.”

  I read the caption over and over again.

  Supermodel Miranda Faure looks to be cozying up with ex-flame Jacob Shea.

  The news host voice comes on, “Sources tell us Jacob and Miranda are taking things slow. They’ve been seen around Chicago looking cozy. Be sure to follow us for more news.”

  There are pictures of them together, him with his arm around her, and her smiling at him with love in her eyes. The pictures don’t lie. He’s with the beautiful Miranda, a fucking model, and it’s obvious she’s the one putting that smile on his face.

  “I can’t do this.” I feel my heart breaking in my chest. This is what I didn’t want to happen. He’s out there in Chicago while I’m here playing babysitter with his son.

  Grace stops me and places her hand on mine. I give her a smile and pull my hand away. Placing money on the table, I get up from the table and grab my things.

  “Don’t go, Cameron. Please. Talk to me.”

  “I just need a minute. I’ll meet you at your house. Can you tell the guys to bring Carter over?”

  “Yeah, of course. I’ll be right behind you.”

  “Okay.”

  As soon as I get in my car, I slam my fists against the steering wheel. Tears freely fall and I feel like such an idiot. People are always leaving me, disappointing me, and hurting me.

  Like an idiot, I took Jacob back after a few sweet words and reassurances, I break down the walls surrounding my heart and believe him. I believe him that he loves me and wants a future with me. I’m so stupid.

  When I get to Grace’s house, I run up the stairs and curl up in a ball on her bed. The tears continue to fall and I’m gasping for air, clinging to my chest. I haven’t cried like this in so long. I haven’t hurt like this since the day I lost my parents. Everything in my world is falling apart and I have no idea what to do. I know the paparazzi like to fabricate stories, but there were pictures that I saw with my own eyes. Pictures don’t lie and someone can’t alter it. How can he do this to me?

  Pulling out my phone, I look at pictures of us and torment myself with the memories of us. I hear his words in my head and the sobs wrack my body. What am I supposed to do without him?

  I’VE BEEN TEXTING and calling Cameron for the past hour. Her phone goes straight to voicemail and she’s not reading my text messages. After lunch, Tony and I get everything we need to get done and I’m able to leave tonight.

  When I get to the airport I text Aiden to see if he knows anything.

  Aiden: I’ll pick you up when you land.

  Me: What? Why?

  Aiden: Just trust me, man. Carter’s with Grace.

  Me: Where’s Cameron?

  Aiden: We’ll talk when you land.

  Me: Fuck, Aiden. Tell me.

  Aiden: Miranda Faure.

  My eyes close and I let out a curse. Quickly Googling Miranda’s name, I see news articles and pictures of us leaving the restaurant. Of course this is happening.

  Me: You know me. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.

  Aiden: It’s bad, man. Just get home and we’ll talk.

  Me: Okay.

  I’ve never been anxious like this to get home. When the attendant calls for seats, I quickly rush to the counter, hand her my ticket and rush on the plane. I need to get back to Cameron. She can’t leave me. I need to see her and explain. What the cameras got is bullshit. I’m not fucking seeing Miranda.

  Rubbing my face, I lean into the seat and pull out my phone again.

  Me: Baby, please. Listen to me and not the news. I am not cheating on you. I love you and only you. There’s only you. Yes, I had lunch with Miranda, but we’re not together. She’s a good friend, and all I did was talk about you and Carter. You are my life. Please, let me explain. I love you and I’ll see you soon.

  I press send and hope that she gets it.

  Aiden’s waiting for me when I walk out of the airport. As soon as I get in the car I pull out my phone again and call her.

  “She won’t answer. Her phone’s broken.”

  “How?”

  Aiden laughs. “Your girl has a temper. She’s back at your parents’ house with Grace.”

  “Did you talk to her?” My mind’s going crazy. I don’t want her to think anything and I know she already has. I need her to listen to me.

  “Kind of. She slapped me across the face and told me to get out. I may have called her a selfish bitch.”

  “Why the fuck did you do that?” I’m about to hit Aiden in the face, but cool down because I know how Cameron can get when she’s pissed off.

  Aiden shrugs and continues driving. “She’s stubborn. She has it in her head you’re cheating and won’t listen to anything or anyone. I told her I’d call Miranda and she laughed in my face, saying she’d lie and she has eyes so she knows what she saw. She’s not giving anyone a chance to explain. I get it. You and Miranda are friends, but man you have to be careful.”

  I shove my hand through my hair. I didn’t think about the press being near us. The restaurant we went to was quiet and low key. We didn’t see any press until we walked out. Even then they didn’t chase us so I thought we were in the clear.

  Aiden parks the car behind Grace’s and as soon as I’m out of the car, Grace comes running out and points her finger at me.

  “Dumbass!”

  “I didn’t do anything.” I raise up my hands and look over her shoulder to see if Cameron’s coming out. “The press got everything wrong. Even ask Miranda. How is she? I need to talk to her.”

  “Jacob, that’s not a good idea at all. She’s so pissed and hurt. She finally stopped crying and you need to give her space so she can process all of this.”

  Ignoring her advice, I rush in, calling her name, and finding her on the couch in the living room.

  “Cameron. Baby.” I rush over and kneel in front of her.

  “I got your texts and voice message.” She sniffs and wipes her hair from her eyes.

  The tone in her voice is quiet. There’s nothing indicating if she’s happy or mad. When I look into her beautiful eyes, the eyes I love, I don’t see happiness. I see that her eyes are red and swollen and it’s because of me. She’s hurt because of me.

  “I should’ve told you about Miranda and me having lunch. She’s a friend,” I tell her and hope she understands.

  “Yeah, she’s the girl from the party. The one that was hanging on you, Jacob.”

  “It’s not like that,” I explain.

  She shrugs her shoulders and sits up straight against the couch. It fucking hurts seeing her like this. My happy girlfriend isn’t happy. Her emotions are mixed with, actually I’m not sure what.

  “Talk to me, please,” I beg her. My hands are on her and I want so badly for her to understand.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” Her tone is stoic and she’s not giving anything away. My stomach flips and my chest tightens. There’s nothing in her expression letting me know how she’s feeling. “You need to leave me alone. We’re done.”

  “Ca
meron. Don’t. Please listen to me.”

  “No need to. I fell for your lies and now you can celebrate that you played me. You don’t want a relationship. You don’t want me or anyone else. So now you’re single and can do whatever you want. I’m not good enough for you.”

  “You’re more than enough, Cameron. I didn’t lie to you. Everything I’ve said is the truth. I love you and I want to be with you. Just you. Miranda is a friend. I can call her now and you can talk to her. Nothing happened. The press, they like to twist shit up, and since she’s a popular model, of course they’re going to twist the story. You’re smart, Cameron, so don’t believe it.”

  “Well, I guess I’m stupid then because I do believe it. You and Miranda looked cozy together and then walked out together. Your arm was wrapped around her shoulder and the both of you were laughing. I saw everything. I saw how she had her arms around you and you didn’t push her away.”

  “It was a hug goodbye! She’s going to Italy for six months. Why don’t you believe me?”

  “Because you left me before and now you wanted to make a point and you did. So leave me alone. We’re done.”

  I stand and move to sit down next to her, gripping her shoulder and make her look at me. She’s so beautiful and I know she’s hurting. Fuck. I would give anything to take back today. I would do it all over again and not meet with Miranda. She can’t leave me. I was going to propose and she was going to be my wife.

  My wife. My forever.

  “You are the best part of me.”

  She laughs and pushes me away. “We don’t even know each other! How can I be the best part of you, Jacob? See! It’s those words and your charm. You think you can charm your way out of this.”

  “Charm my way? No! Cameron, I’m telling you the truth. Everything that’s coming out of my mouth is how I feel. You are the best part of me. You’re everything to me. Why can’t you see that I’m not lying?”