The Girl Who Loved a Killer

by Tilty Edin

  She let go when they got to the field, tickling their hands.

  "This is incredible," she said with watery eyes. "There's so much Sage."

  The field appeared to go on for miles, beaming with life. The scent tingled.

  "I don't know what's more incredible," he admitted. "This place or you."

  They kissed for a fleeting moment, then walked, hand in hand out to the middle of the field where they watched the skies until dark, enjoying the sweet scented breeze and the pleasures of forgetting the lives they had only temporarily left behind.

  14

  4:30am

  It had been a long, painful drawl for Tod when he and Leanne left Robinson's. And later, her apartment that night. A gentle rain had misted upon them, bound together by a kiss goodbye under a dark navy sky. Their parting wasn't something he was looking forward too, as if he knew a treacherous morning would follow.

  It started as an ordinary routine. His alarm went off at 4:30 am, but after little sleep and waves of depression drowning him, he found it hard to open his eyes. He tried to move, but every inch of him had made it all too painful. His soul, as conflicted as it felt, was at war. His irises reached the ceiling by the time he struggled to lift his perspiring chest. He took in a heaping breath and went to take another shower. It didn't help. He ran a comb through his hair, which no matter how messy always seemed to look stylish for him. He pulled open his drawer and picked up a razor for his rough face.

  Elvis lyrics played in his head. We can't go on together with suspicious minds.

  Images of Leanne, half second long flashes of her smile, settled in his mind like glimpses of heaven.

  And we can't build our dreams, on suspicious minds.

  He splashed more water on his face when the tears came on slowly, dripping down the drain along with the rest of the water. He stared at the sink's drain, an endless dark hole sucking down everything it could.

  They call it a trap.

  He put on a pair of dark brown pants, a periwinkle blue button up, grabbed his briefcase.

  I can't walk out.

  He locked the door shut and head to the car.

  Because I love you too much baby.

  Half and hour and a short drive later, he found himself sitting at a desk in front of a typewriter, pretending to be fine. He was good at that.

  He was making some estimates when Charlie stopped in. "Hey Pal, how'd yesterday go?" he asked.

  A bit of anxiety flew from Tod's stomach up and out of his throat. "Couldn't have asked for a better day," he replied with a half smile.

  Charlie grinned. "I bet it's nice getting the pick of the litter."

  Tod corrected him. "No," he said. "I think the pick of the litter picked me."

  Charlie gave a wide grin."Well even better."

  Tod nodded and looked back to the typewriter. "I should be done with these estimates in an hour or two."

  "Take your time. We aren't doing much today, but you are staying late tonight aren't you? That's when the shipments are coming in."

  "Sure," Tod replied. "And by the way, are you still putting that space up for rent?"

  Charlie produced a booming laugh. "Now? Finally? After I sold it?"

  Tod rested his head on his hand. "Figures," he said.

  "Why now all of a sudden?"

  "Leanne's family might want to use it as a place for their nursery. Maybe they'll make it some sort of floral and seed shop."

  "No shit?" Charlie huffed. "Well, this deal I have with the buyer isn't quite finalized yet, so I'll let you know. Sounds like a splendid idea."

  "Thanks," Tod smiled. "It would mean a lot."

  Charlie waved a hand. "Anytime."

  15

  1:30pm

  An aged woman in all red looked up at the stage. "Leanne Robinson," she bellowed. "Up Next!"

  Young women in seats gossiped, men talked, papers shuffled and seats moved, slightly dimming the sound of the pianist. He played the first note only seconds after Leanne's slippered feet touched the stage. She appeared even thinner and more fragile than she was dressed in black tights and spaghetti straps.

  1, 2, step 1,2,3 step, 1,2, step.

  She counted every note and attached herself to every rhythm. That time, she could feel every movement she had practiced for hours in the college dance room go smoothly. Even the movements least practiced.

  Younger, less experienced girls stared at her audition for some time, but even more experienced ones payed no attention.

  One of the judges yawned. Another fogged his glasses and wiped them with a cleaner.

  She twirled once and then leaned her long, slender back further and further until it reached the floor, barely showing how she trembled with nervousness. She slid back up smoothly and twirled again.

  When the piano music stopped, she nearly fell face forward.

  "What's your name again, Honey?" The woman in red asked. She was one of the judges, but instead of being in the seat she was french braiding an auditioners hair.

  "Leanne," she replied, out of breath.

  "Why don't you try modeling?" she asked. "Next!"

  Leanne called back over the room growing louder, "If it's at all possible, could you tell me my error?"

  "What my dear?"

  "My error?"

  "You're good," she replied quickly. "Just nothing outstanding. JULIE HILL! NEXT!"

  Leanne brushed off the comment and quickly went back to her bag and got ready for the modeling audition in the next room over. It started in five minutes. She rushed into one of the bathrooms where at least twelve other girls, mostly taller than her by only an inch or two hogged the mirrors.

  She sat on on the floor, pulled out her makeup set and mirror and freshened up. A few other girls walking inside did just the same. One of them, a little heavier than the rest, sighed heavily and looked over to Leanne, "I know I'm probably too big for this gig."

  Leanne looked at her then dabbed on some blush, "Don't worry. I think even a stick's too big for this gig."

  The girl laughed, then sighed again, brushing on loads of mascara. "I don't care if I get in or not," she said. "I'm just doing it to say I did. I'm bored. But being told you're not good enough isn't the nicest thing to do when you're bored. Honestly, I'd rather be on the couch watching a soap thinking I'm really the best thing ever."

  Leanne laughed and thought she had a point.

  "Well, that's what this is, isn't it? A judging game. Who’s got the best hand in genetics. Might as well not even have come."

  "Don't let it get to you," Leanne said, curling her lashes before going to change in one of the stalls. "You never know."

  "Never know what? Success?"

  "Lydia, Just go home already," one of the girls standing up said. "You're seriously ruining everyone's day."

  Lydia shrugged and pouted. "As if everyone's day isn't already ruined by being here."

  When the time came for all the potential models to stand in line, Leanne thought the modeling sessions looked a lot easier compared to the dancing. As long as you were tall and thin, you seemed to pass. Leanne was tall, but she wasn't that tall, and she was thin, but she wasn't that thin. It seemed only the thinnest and tallest were praised instantly, and by the time it got to her turn, she felt a bit discouraged.

  Camera lights flashed in her face. The man taking the pictures admired her rather charming, yet dramatic look. Deep emotion emitted from her eyes. He took a little more shots.

  A short lady in a bright scarf walked over to the camera man. "I think I like this one," she said. "But, I think she might need just a little more umpf." And then the pictures stopped. "You should try out for some local gigs around town," she suggested. "They definitely wouldn't pass you up."

  Leanne shrugged, but smiled. "Thanks."

  She grabbed her bags and head for the door when the lady stopped her.

  "Hey. Uhm. Actually, how about you put your name and number in my book over there?" she asked. "I might be able to find something for
you. I'll keep your pictures."

  Leanne smiled hopefully. "Oh, that's swell. Thanks so much."

  "No, no," the New York City agent said. "Thank you."

  16

  12:10am

  It was late by the time Tod got out of work. He was feeling in good spirits thanks to the lovely thoughts of the next time he'd be seeing Leanne, but were they still enough?

  His shaky hands grew powerless at the wheel, taking him over to one of his usual bars. He hadn't been there in a good while and he wouldn’t have gone if it hadn't been for his damn, instinctively minded hands.

  When the neon red open sign came into view just around the corner, a part of him felt a rush. A sort of rush that he had come to accept a long time ago.

  His eyes glazed over. Everything that passed through them had meant nothing at all except for Leanne. Asleep, warm in her bed, safe from this night, never to hear or know of the strange things that went on inside lost minds.

  She was his only definition of love, but the nights like those were anything but.

  He parked the car and lit a cigarette as he paced around the lot, then opened the bar doors and snuck into the smoky room. The smell of fryers, cigarettes and alcohol rushed into his senses. There weren't many customers that night. Some of hells angels sat in a group and played pool, college students mingled at the entry tables, a few young women sat at the bar stools, chatting away with the bartender.

  He walked over, setting next to the lonely strawberry blonde and ordered a beer.

  She had a dimple smile. "Hey," she greeted him. The alcohol on her breath was heavy.

  He cleared his throat. "Dan," he said.

  "Nancy. You go to school around here, don't you?"

  "Used to," he said. "Masters in psychology."

  She twirled her blonde curls with her finger. "Neat. Treating patients now?"

  "All sorts."

  "You look like you'd major in business or something," she said with a laugh, and then suddenly she went quiet, hearing the jukebox switch songs. She grabbed his arm and pulled him to the dance floor. "You've got to like this song!" she exclaimed. "Groovy, isn't it?"

  He followed her onto the floor where she danced around him. The way she moved looked more of subtle flailing, telling him just about everything he needed to know about her.

  "You're not drunk enough are you?" she asked his rather stiff body.

  He ran a hand through his hair. "It's been a while," he admitted. He shifted his feet and moved his torso on sync with the song. "And I was only second best."

  She chuckled. "Oh wow, you do know how to move a little," she said, watching his body with a slightly gaping mouth. She grew closer to him, brushing her back up against his. She twirled and took his hands, rocking back and forth, and glanced up at him with rather seductive bright eyes.

  He gave into them, but probably not in the way she'd hope when he jolted up his leg and winced.

  "Ouch," he said. "Damn, my leg."

  "Oh!" she exclaimed. "What happened?"

  "I think I twisted it or something," he said. "I told you it's been a while."

  "Oh,"

  "Can you help me to a seat?"

  She grabbed his arm. "Yeah babe," she said. "Let's go."

  By then, to Tod's amusement, the seats in the bar were all taken.

  "Why don't we head out to my car?" he whispered quickly in her ear.

  Her mouth parted. "Oh. I don't know," she said back. "Really?"

  "It's up to you," he said. "First I need a smoke."

  She turned her attention away from him. Her eyes, watching the rest of the room, looked like two stones.

  "Let me get my coat," she said finally.

  She wobbled back to the table, stopping now and then and glancing dauntingly at her heels.

  "Nancy?" the bartender called to her. "Paid that heafty check of yours?"

  "Yeah," she said quickly, pulling her coat from a chair a fat man was sitting on. She fished in the pockets, pulled out a five and slammed it on the table. "For the record."

  The bartender swiped it up. "Have a good one Nance."

  She sprinted out of the bar and back out to a light mist where Tod puffed away.

  He smiled softly at her and pulled out his lighter. "Want one?"

  She giggled. "I'd love one, Danny. Oh, can I call you Danny?"

  "I like Danny," he said.

  She placed it in her mouth, cupping her hands around it as he lit her up. "Standing up okay?"

  "Yeah," he said. "I'll need to sit in a minute,"

  "It's okay," she said. "I'll help you."

  "You're so kind," he said.

  She giggled.

  While they smoked, he mindfully registered nearly every car that passed, splashing in and out of puddles, the people pacing around with their heads down and hats clung over their heads.

  "You're gorgeous," Nancy said.

  He looked down and noticed her staring at him. He wrapped an arm around her. "So are you."

  She put out her cigarette. "I know this is way too soon, but, you're giving me some good vibes."

  He smiled, brushing his hand against her soft cheek. “You might want to know I play a little rough,” he said.

  She blushed. "Hot," she said.

  He winced. "Damn," he said. "This leg."

  "Show me where you car is," she said.

  He held her close beside him until they got to his car.

  "Is your car blue? Or green?"

  "It's white," he corrected her, opening the passenger door. "It has a habit of reflecting colors."

  She shuffled in the car and got herself comfortable after helping him in the driver’s side. Her bottom lip lowered and eyes softened as he moved his face closer to hers.

  "Why don't we take a drive?" he asked.

  "I like drives," she said.

  The engine started, and his heart beat rhythmically in his chest as he drove all the way to a lonely, secluded abandoned factory parking lot barely lit by one flickering lamp light.

  Nancy stared at the brick wall ahead of them and all the rain breaking it up. She bit her lip. "What are you going to do to me?" she asked.

  He turned to her, grabbed her head and kissed her lips coldly.

  "Get in the back seat and find out," he smiled.

  She met him there, and kissed him some as he rubbed her shoulders. She pulled off her big coat and struggled with her dress. The zipper wouldn’t seem to unzip.

  "Damn this thing," she laughed turning around. "Can you get this for me?" she asked.

  "Yeah," he said.

  He reached around the dark car floor and grabbed the crowbar.

  With one powerful force, he slammed it against her head before she could let out another noise.

  Blood ran from her nose, mouth and from her ear drenching her clothes.

  He bashed her head in again, hearing a loud crack, and watched as she struggled to open her eyes moving lazily towards the side of the car.

  He watched her blood escape to the seats and wondered what she was thinking, if she was thinking anything at all.

  17

  2:20pm

  "Tod Hagen?" Tracy asked for the fourth time.

  Leanne blushed.

  Tracy's mouth slightly parted in disbelief, "I had a class with him," she revealed.

  Leanne's eyes widened.

  "And you're trying to tell me you've been seeing him?" Tracy asked in disbelief. "That's where you've been? Why didn't you tell me?"

  Leanne lifted her shoulders. "It all happened so fast."

  Tracy picked up an overly ripe fruit and inspected it. "Well, at least one of us is seeing a stud."

  "I hope I don't sound like I’m bragging," Leann said. "But I might have gotten in with one of the modeling agencies too."

  Tracy's jaw lowered. "Get out, Lee."

  "No kidding,"

  "Tod," Tracy said. "That man was so cool. Me and the girls always thought he was so mysterious. You know, in that sexy kind of way."

&n
bsp; Leanne sat on her favorite stool, letting her legs rest for a minute from standing for so long.

  "Are you going to see him later?" Tracy asked.

  "I invited him over to dinner tonight to meet my parents," she said. "He's already met my Uncle Tuck and Aunt Jean out at Robinson’s."

  "Already?"

  "Not to mention, he's offering us an affordable lot around here where Robinsons might be able to set up their own shop."

  "No kidding?"

  "I'm not."

  "Reminds me," Tracy said. "I've been trying to head out that way to get my sister some flowers. Her birthday's coming up and she's getting married in June. I keep forgetting, but I want to make sure it's Robinson’s I get them from."

  "You're too good a friend, Trace."

  “You won't be saying that while I'm stealing your man."

  They laughed.

  "Truly Leanne, I'm happy for you," she said. "What a small, good little world it can be."

  18

  6:30pm

  Leanne put on a black, sparkling dress the night she and Tod would be arriving at her parent’s for dinner. When he met her at her apartment to leave together, she almost had to put it on twice, nearly impossible for her not to give into the little temptations he carried with him, like the way his soft kisses were a little too passionate. The ways his seductive eyes could be. How his unexpected smirks could be so exciting, and the relaxed nature about him was like a dream.

  When they arrived to the doorsteps of her parents house, she opened the door to a warm light pouring out to them that carried the scent of a delicious meal. Alex had a little more warmth to her face when she greeted them, but her body was still just as frail and shaky.

  "Come in," she said as her pale blue eyes looked up to Tod with a similar astonishment as Jean's had been. "Nice to meet you," she nodded, shaking his hand.