Redemption (Forgiven Series)

by Brooke, Rebecca

  I stared at the ceiling and groaned. “I wish I knew.” What was I thinking? He was hot, which caught my attention, but that didn’t mean I had to sleep with him. “Ugh. What am I going to do now?” I asked, turning my head in her direction.

  “Well, I guess, you really don’t have to do anything. You’d never seen him before last night, so most likely you won’t see him again. You can go on—”

  She stopped mid-sentence, her eyes wide, staring at my face. What she saw there I didn’t know. What I did know was the more I thought about it, the more the thought of never seeing Josh again hurt. Forgetting the embarrassment about the ending of the night, we’d had a great time. He was easy to talk to and fun to hang out with, plus we had a ton of things in common.

  She pointed at me. “You want to see him again, don’t you?” she accused.

  I sighed. “When I really think about it, I do. But after what happened last night, I think I might be too embarrassed to face him again.”

  Morgan lay down next to me, turning her head to look me in the eye. “Well, honey, that’s something you’re going to have to decide. Are you too embarrassed to see him, or is it something you could get past?” She closed her eyes and sighed. Taking my hand in hers she continued. “But I have to be honest, Em’s right. Josh isn’t the kind of guy who wants a second ‘date’. He does sex, and usually only once, so in the end you may not have to worry about it anyway.”

  When I closed my eyes at the thought of him throwing me away like that, she tried to comfort me again. “Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to upset you, but I don’t want you to get your hopes up and get crushed.”

  I took a deep breath trying to get myself together before I spoke. I opened my eyes and sat up. “I know. Thanks for being there for me.”

  “Always.”

  I leaned my head against hers and we sat there for a few minutes while I tried to get Josh out of my head.

  “Shit.”

  Morgan kept her arms around my waist, but her head turned toward me. “What?”

  I groaned. “How do I explain this to Em without her figuring out that she was right?”

  She cringed. “Shit is right. I don’t think that’s possible.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Well that can be a problem for tomorrow, since I won’t see her till then.”

  Acting like the true friend she was, Morgan let go of me and stood up with her hand out. “Come on, let’s go get breakfast and we can worry about all of this crap tomorrow.”

  I smiled and took her hand and she pulled me to my feet. “Good idea. Give me a few minutes to shower and change and I’ll be ready.”

  She nodded and went back out to the living room but instead of heading for the shower, I sat down on my bed and thought about Josh. Morgan was right, even if I maybe wanted more time with Josh, it wasn’t what he did. I needed to figure out a way to forget about him and avoiding him on campus seemed like a good place to start. It was only one night, I could use it to learn from my mistakes and move on. No problem.

  Well, at least I hoped it wouldn’t be.

  Waking up slowly I rolled to wrap my arms around Lauren, but when my hands hit empty sheets my eyes flew open. What the hell?

  I looked around my room, searching for any sign that she was still there, or in the very least somewhere else in the apartment. Nothing. She’d snuck out of my bed in the middle of the night. Looking over to the clock I realized that it was a little after ten in the morning. What time must she have left for me to not hear her get up?

  This had to happen with the first woman I was actually looking forward to waking up to. I wasn’t quite sure why I felt that way, but there was just something about her. She was extremely sexy. And last night… wow! I’d never had a woman take control like Lauren and I couldn’t deny it had been fan-fucking-tastic.

  Realizing that I was starting to sound exactly like the sort of pussy-whipped guy I generally laughed at, I stopped and shook my head. What was I doing? Dwelling on a night of great sex wasn’t like me. Normally, I was doing everything I could to get the chick out of my bed as soon as possible. The fact that she’d left was a reason to celebrate, not commiserate, so why didn’t it feel that way?

  I reasoned that my feelings must have something to do with Caleb proposing to Angie. Somewhere in the back of my head, my subconscious was probably trying to tell me to find someone, but I knew that wouldn’t be happening any time soon because I wasn’t going to settle for anything less than what Caleb had with Angie.

  Shit. Caleb and Angie would probably be home soon. I really didn’t want to tell them about sleeping with Lauren, and not just because I told Caleb I’d stay away, or because Angie would most likely tell Emily. This time it was something that I wanted to keep to myself. It was no one’s business but mine and Lauren’s. Deciding that I had spent enough time thinking about all this shit, I slowly I dragged myself out of bed to jump in the shower.

  Despite making the effort to get dressed, I figured that a day of relaxation was in order. For the last few weeks we’d all run around like crazy, trying to get everything ready for Angie’s party so a day of vegging out on the couch watching crap TV was well deserved in my opinion. The problem was, I couldn’t get Lauren out of my head.

  After a while I decided the best plan was to try and forget about her and hit the bars tomorrow night. I’d ask Caleb to come with me when he got home. He probably wouldn’t want to go, but it was worth a shot. Besides, Nick was always up for a night out. Ever since he’d lost Angie to Caleb he was constantly looking for someone to hook up with, and the easiest place to find that was out at the bars. I sent him a message.

  Me: Pixel Lounge TMRW?

  While I was waiting for Nick to text me back Caleb and Angie walked in the door, still wearing the same huge-ass smiles from the previous night. “Hey, you two, looks like somebody didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.” I winked.

  Caleb rolled his eyes at me, while the blush crept up Angie’s cheeks. “Ha, ha, knock it off, asshole,” Caleb pretended to scold, knowing I loved messing with Angie. It wasn’t like I could help it, it was just so easy.

  Angie walked over and sat down on the couch next to me. Even though she still looked embarrassed, I could see the glow on her face. It was wonderful to see the two of them so happy. “All right, let me see the rock now that it’s on your finger,” I said holding out my hand.

  If it were possible, her smile became even brighter and she thrust her hand toward me. “It’s gorgeous, isn’t it,” she gushed.

  Caleb just shook his head as he came over and sat down next to Angie. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple. “Nothing is as gorgeous as you,” he murmured.

  “Ugh. Would you two knock it off, or at least take it to your bedroom?” I grumbled.

  This time it was Angie’s turn to laugh. She turned to me her eyes alight with mischief. “So, Josh, how was your night?”

  Damn. I knew at some point she was going to bring it up. Not knowing how much Lauren had told her, I figured deflection was the way to go. I smiled, hoping that it didn’t look fake. “It was an awesome party. Did you have fun?” I asked.

  Unfortunately, Angie knew me way too well. “I had a fantastic time, but stop trying to change the subject. I saw you dancing with Lauren,” she said with a smirk.

  She was never going to give up. I needed to play this off. Angie didn’t need any more encouragement in her quest to find me someone. “Yeah, she’s pretty cool,” I offered, shrugging my shoulders. “She hit the bar with us after the party.”

  I saw Caleb watching me out of the corner of my eye. He knew something was up—he always could see right through me. He knew there was more to the story and he was just waiting for a better time to ask.

  Angie, on the other hand, looked disappointed. Huh? After all of the threats from Emily, she looked like she was hoping for more. Then again, I doubt Angie had been rooting for me to have a one-night stand with Lauren.

  “Josh,�
� she whined. “We have to find you someone.”

  I sighed. “I’m happy with my life.”

  She turned her nose up at me. Guess that was the wrong thing to say. “Oh, so you’re happy sleeping with a new girl every weekend?” she argued.

  “You make it sound like a bad thing?”

  I watched the anger flash in her eyes. Oops, definitely the wrong thing to say. She stood up and stepped towards me, forcing me to look up at her. “You’re an ass. With an attitude like that, you deserve to be alone,” she snarled before storming off to their room and slamming the door.

  “Angie,” I yelled. Getting up, I walked down and knocked on the door. Even though we disagreed, I still cared about her and didn’t want her to think I was a complete jerk. “Angie, I’m sorry. Please come back out.”

  The lack of response spoke volumes. Turning back to the living room, I went and sat back down on the couch. I looked up to see Caleb glaring at me.

  “Did you need to be such an asshole?”

  “Dude, I wasn’t trying to be a dick. I just don’t get why she’s so determined to set me up.”

  Caleb shook his head at me. “Is it really so bad? Angie just wants to see you happy.”

  “I don’t need a girl in my life to make me happy. Why is that so hard for you two to understand?” I asked, exasperated.

  Caleb leaned forward to rest his forearms on his thighs and clasped his hands together. He took a deep breath before beginning. “Josh, I’ve known you for three years and I know for a fact you’re not happy, and lately it’s been getting worse.”

  He stopped to look down and when he looked back up again I could see the annoyance in his eyes. “Since you haven’t seen your dad lately, that’s not the reason. And it’s total bullshit that you’re happy screwing a different girl every night.”

  That sweeping assumption was like gas to a flame. Who was Caleb to determine what made me happy?

  “What gives you the right to tell me what I want? I’m not you, Caleb. If there was someone I really wanted, I’d go after them, not run away. There just isn’t one that fits that category.” I turned to head back to my bedroom when Caleb’s voice stopped me.

  “I know something happened between you and Lauren last night.”

  A thousand different explanations raced through my mind but before I could say anything he put his hand up to stop me. “Don’t even try to deny it. It’s written all over your face. I’m not sure exactly what happened, nor do I want to know, but if you’re gonna keep sleeping with anything that breathes, please stay away from Angie’s friends.” Avoiding my gaze he looked down to the floor, rubbing the back of his neck in a way that made me think I wouldn’t like what he was going to say. “I wouldn’t want to have to choose between you and her,” he said sadly.

  Unsure how to process his admission, I nodded once and headed for my room. Dropping down to lie on my bed, I tried to get comfortable but failed miserably. I had to figure out a way to show Angie and Caleb that I was happy with things the way they were. I didn’t want Caleb to ever have to choose between us, but if I kept pissing Angie off like I had last night… let’s just say I didn’t want it to even be a possibility.

  A few minutes later my phone buzzed. Checking the text message, I saw it was from Nick.

  Nick: I’m in

  Me: Pick u up at 10?

  Nick: Sure

  With my plans set I figured it was time to get some homework done because I had no plans on coming home tomorrow night. After working for a few hours, I decided to play a little Xbox before going to bed.

  Thankfully by the next morning Angie had cooled off and was willing to listen to my apology. “So, are you still willing to ride over to class with me this morning?” I asked, flashing her my most charming smile. It always worked so well on Angie because she knew I wasn’t hitting on her. She would just shake her head and laugh at me.

  “Yeah, I’ll ride over with you,” she said through her giggles. “Let me just grab my stuff.”

  Angie and I had classes in the morning on Monday’s, but Caleb’s classes didn’t start until the afternoon so the lucky bastard was still asleep. When Angie was ready I grabbed my stuff and we walked out of the apartment.

  Caleb must’ve said something to Angie last night, because she didn’t mention hooking me up with someone the entire ride to campus.

  “Any plans for the wedding yet?” I asked, making up for the unusual silence between us.

  She looked at me from the passenger seat with a huge grin on her face and, albeit belatedly, I realized that asking a woman about her wedding was probably not the best idea. Then again she was marrying my best friend, so there was no way I was ever going to completely get out of listening to wedding plans. At least this way it was on my terms.

  “Well, we talked about dates last night, but that’s about it so far,” she answered.

  I kept my eyes on the road and waited for her to tell me what date they might have picked, but the silence continued. “Are you gonna tell me what date you picked?”

  She startled and quickly turned to me. “Sorry, what did you say?”

  I laughed. I knew exactly what she was doing. “You were sitting there daydreaming about the rest of the day, weren’t you?”

  “Yeah,” she said sheepishly.

  I continued to laugh. “I wanted to know what date you two decided on?”

  “Neither one of us want to get married while we’re still trying to finish our degrees, so we decided to get married next summer, after we graduate.” She was so excited she was bouncing up and down in her seat. “We’re thinking the end of July.”

  “July, hmmm…” I pulled into the parking space and turned off the engine. “You know what that means, don’t you?” I asked mischievously.

  She scrunched her nose up. “No, but I’m almost afraid to ask.”

  I patted her on the arm. “That’s okay, I was going to tell you anyway. It means there won’t be any classes, so we can have one crazy-ass bachelor party.”

  “You can’t be serious!”

  “Oh, I’m dead serious.”

  She flung open her door and hoped out of the car. Once I’d gotten out and started to walking to class, she turned on me. “You have to be out of your mind if you think I’m going to let Caleb have any type of bachelor party that includes naked women,” she said with disgust.

  I wasn’t going to give in so easily, but I had almost a year and a half to work on her. I slung my arm around her shoulders. “Don’t worry, we have plenty of time to talk about it.”

  The death glare she shot at me should have stopped me in my tracks, but it wasn’t as nearly as scary as the face Emily wore as we approached. The twisted snarl on her face was a clear sign that I was in trouble. Part of me considered saying I’d forgotten something and escaping back to the safety of the car, but I’d have to face Emily at some point, so better now than later.

  Her eyes narrowed as we got closer. “Why are you such an asshole?” she snapped.

  Angie looked back and forth between the two of us. “Wow, Josh, so it wasn’t just me you were being a jerk to this weekend?”

  Emily’s eyes snapped to Angie. “What did he do to you?’ she snarled.

  Oh shit, I was in for it. On top of Emily being mad about Lauren, now she was going to be even more pissed because of Angie. Angie watched me closely while Emily tapped her foot, waiting for an answer.

  Angie turned to me. “Josh, what happened this weekend that has made Emily look at you the way she used to look at Caleb? She looks like she wants to murder you, or at least diminish any chance you ever have of having kids.”

  “Oh, so he didn’t tell you about his night with Lauren?” Emily said sarcastically.

  “Yeah, they went out with you to the bar after the party, and then she drove him home. I don’t get what the big deal is?”

  “Figures you didn’t give her the whole story,” Emily snarled. “What he failed to mention was that when we left the party, I caught him st
anding beside her car with his tongue shoved down her throat.” Angie’s faced dropped and I could see the anger return to her eyes. Emily clapped her hands together, seemingly enjoying the fact that Angie was getting mad at me too.

  “Then he spent the next few hours dancing with her at the bar while she got drunk. It wasn’t Lauren who drove Josh home—Josh had to drive because Lauren was wasted.”

  Angie glared at me. “I guess Lauren wasn’t as forgettable as you made her seem last night.” She walked to the door without looking back, Emily’s brows lifted in a look that clearly said, “Take that,” before she turned and followed Angie.

  I sighed and started towards the door. This was going to be one long class. If I didn’t get this cleared up with Angie, Caleb was going to have my ass later.

  The looks I got as I walked into the class behind them made me a little nervous about sitting in my normal seat. But it was my only chance to fix this, so I cautiously took my usual seat next to Angie.

  I waited for Angie or Emily to rip me a new one, but neither seemed interested in speaking to me at all. Wracking my brain as to how I might salvage the situation, I nudged Angie. Getting through to her would be much easier than trying to talk to Emily when she was like this.

  “Angie, don’t be pissed. I never said that Lauren was forgettable, I’m just not interested in a relationship.” Something flared in her eyes, but she refused to look at me so it was hard to tell what exactly it was. When she continued to ignore me, I decided to try one more time.

  “Look, when I’m ready for something serious, I promise I’ll come to you for help first,” I said with a hopeful smile.

  “Answer me one question, Josh.”

  “Okay,” I agreed, afraid of what she was going to ask. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emily face us so that she could hear my answer too.

  “Did you sleep with Lauren?”

  How was I supposed to answer that? It was a loaded question if ever I’d heard one. Any answer I gave could get me in trouble. Watching her watch me, I realized that even if she got more pissed off, I still had to tell her the truth.