Follow the Saint s-20

by Leslie Charteris

  IX

  THE SIMPLE beauty of the system made his pulses skip. Plans like that could be passed over in the guise of prescriptions; boodle, cash payments for services rendered, or almost anything else, could be handed over the counter enclosed in tubes of cold cream or packets of Miracle Tea; and it could all be done openly and with impunity even while other genuine customers were in the shop waiting to be served. Even if the man who did it were suspected and under surveillance, the same transactions could take place countless times under the very eyes of a watcher, and be dismissed as an entirely unimportant feature of the suspect's daily activities. Short of deliberate betrayal, it left no loophole through which Osbett himself could be involved at all—and even that risk, with a little ingenuity, could probably be manipu­lated so as to leave someone like the shifty-eyed young assistant to hold the baby. It was foolproof and puncture-proof—except against such an unforeseen train of accidents as had delivered one fatal package of Miracle Tea into Chief Inspector Teal's unwitting paws, and tumbled it from his pocket into Simon Templar's car.

  The one vast and monumental question mark that was left was wrapped all the way round the mystery of what was the motive focus of the whole machinery.

  A highly organized and up-to-date gang of thieves, directed by a Master Mind and operating with the efficiency of a big business ? The answer seemed trite but possible. And yet ...

  All the goods he could see round him were probably as genuine as patent slimming salts and mouth washes can be— any special packages would certainly be kept aside. And there was nothing noticeably out of place at that time. He exa­mined the cash register. It contained nothing but a small amount of money, which he transferred to a hospital collect­ing box on the counter. The ancient notes and invoices and prescriptions speared on to hook files in the dispensing compartment were obviously innocuous—nothing incrimi­nating was likely to be left lying about there.

  The first brisk spell of trade seemed to have fallen off, and no one else had entered the shop since the visit of Weasel Face. Simon went back upstairs, and investigated the room into which he had dodged when he followed the shifty-eyed youth up the stairs. He remembered it as having had the air of a storeroom of some kind, and he was right. It contained various large jars, packing cases, and cardboard cartons labelled with assorted names and cryptic signs, some of them prosaically familiar, stacked about in not particularly methodical piles. But the whole rear half of the room, in contrasting orderliness, was stacked from floor to ceiling with mounds of small yellow packages that he could recognize at a glance.

  He looked around again, and on one wall he found in a cheap frame the official certificate which announced to all whom it might concern that Mr Henry Osbett had dutifully complied with the Law and registered the fact that he was trading under the business name of The Miracle Tea Com­pany.

  "Well, well, well!" said the Saint dreamily. "What a small world it is after all. . . ."

  He fished out his cigarette case and smoked part of the way through a cigarette while he stood gazing abstractedly over the unilluminating contents of the room, and his brain was a whirlpool of new and startling questions.

  Then he pulled himself together and went back to the office.

  The three men he had left there were all awake again by then and squirming ineffectually. Simon shook his head at them.

  "Relax, boys," he said soothingly. "You're only wearing yourselves out. And think what a mess you're making of your clothes."

  Their swollen eyes glared at him mutely with three indivi­dual renderings of hate and malevolence intensified by different degrees of fear; but if the Saint had been susceptible to the cremating power of the human eye he would have been a walking cinder many years ago.

  Calmly he proceeded to empty their pockets and examine every scrap of paper he found on them; but except for a driving licence which gave him Mr Nancock's name and address in Croydon he was no wiser when he had finished.

  After that he turned his attention to the filing cabinet; but as far as a lengthy search could tell it contained nothing but a conventional collection of correspondence on harmless matters concerned with the legitimate business of the shop and the marketing of Miracle Tea. He sat down in Mr Os­bett's swivel chair and went systematically through the drawers of the desk, but they also provided him with no enlightenment. The net result of his labours was a magnifi­cent and symmetrically rounded zero.

  The Saint's face showed no hint of his disappointment. He sat for a few seconds longer, tilting himself gently back and forth; and then he stood up.

  "It's a pity you don't keep more money on the premises, Henry," he remarked. "You could have saved yourself a stamp."

  He picked up a paperknife from the desk and tested the blade with his thumb. It was sharp enough. The eyes of the bound men dilated as they watched him.

  The Saint smiled.

  "From the way you were talking when I first came in, it looks as if you know my business," he said. "And I hope you've realized by this time that I know yours. It isn't a very nice business; but that's something for you to worry about. All I'm concerned with is to make sure that you pay the proper luxury tax to the right person, which happens to be me. So will you attend to it as soon as possible, Henry? I should think about ten thousand pounds will do for a first instalment. I shall expect it in one-pound notes, delivered by messenger before two-thirty pm tomorrow. And it had better not be late." The Saint's blue eyes were as friendly as frozen vitriol. "Because if it is, Chief Inspector Teal will be calling here again—and next time it won't be an accident.... Mean­while"—the knife spun from his hands like a whirling white flame, and the three men flinched wildly as the point buried itself with a thud in the small space of carpet centrally between them—"if one of you gets to work with that, you ought to be up and about again in a few minutes. Goodbye, girls; and help yourself to some sal volatile when you get down stairs."

  It was nearing one o'clock by his watch when he reached the street; and Patricia was ordering herself a second Martini when he strolled into the cocktail room at Quaglino's.

  She leaned back and closed her eyes.

  "I know," she said. "Teal and the Flying Squad are about two blocks behind you. I can tell by the smug look on your face."

  "For once in your life you're wrong," he said as he lowered himself into a chair. "They're so far behind that if Einstein is right they ought to have been here an hour ago."

  Over lunch he gave her an account of his morning.

  "But what is it all about ?" she said.

  He frowned.

  "I just wish I knew, darling. But it's something bigger than burglary-—you can take bets on that. If Henry Osbett is the Miracle Teapot in person, the plot is getting so thick you could float rocks on it. If I haven't got mixed on what Claud Eustace told me last night, they run a radio programme, and that costs plenty of dough and trouble. No gang of burglars would bother to go as far as that, even to keep up appear­ances. Therefore this is some racket in which the dough flows like water; and I wish I could think what that could be. And it's run by experts. In the whole of that shop there was­n't a single clue. I'll swear that Claud Eustace himself could put it through a sieve and not find anything. ... I was just bluffing Henry, of course, but I think I made a good job of it."

  "You don't think he'll pay, do you?"

  "Stranger things have happened," said the Saint hope­fully. "But if you put it like that—no. That was just bait. There wasn't anything else useful that I could do. If I'd had them somewhere else I might have beaten it out of them, but I couldn't do it there, and I couldn't put them in a bag and bring them home with me. Anyhow, this may be a better way. It means that the next move is up to the ungodly, and they've got to make it fast. And that may give us our break."

  "Of course it may," she agreed politely. "By the way, where did you tell me once you wanted to be buried?"

  He chuckled.

  "Under the foundation stone of a brewery," he said. ''But don'
t worry. I'm going to take a lot of care of myself."

  His idea of taking care of himself for that afternoon was to drive the Hirondel down to the factory at an average speed of about sixty miles an hour to discuss the installation of a new type of supercharger designed to make the engine several degrees more lethal than it was already, and after­wards to drive back to London at a slightly higher speed in order to be punctual for his appointment with Mr Teal. Con­sidering that ride in retrospect, he sometimes wondered whether he would have any chance of claiming that the astounding quality of care which it showed could be credited entirely to his own inspired forethought.

  It was on the stroke of four when he sailed into the May Fair and espied the plump and unromantic shape of Chief Inspector Teal dumped into a pink brocade armchair and looking rather like a bailiff in a boudoir.

  Teal got up as the Saint breezed towards him; and some­thing in the way he straightened and stood there almost checked Simon in the middle of a stride. Simon forced him­self to keep coming without a flaw in the smooth surface of his outward tranquillity; but a sixth sense was rocketing red danger signals through his brain even before he heard the detective's unnaturally hard gritty voice.

  "I've been waiting for you, Saint!"

  "Then you must have been early, Claud," said the Saint. His smile was amiable and unruffled, but there was an out­law's watchfulness at the back of his bantering eyes. "Is that any excuse for the basilisk leer ? Anyone would think you'd eaten something——"

  "I don't want to hear any more of that," Teal said crunchily. "You know damned well why I'm waiting for you. Do you know what this is ?"

  He flourished a piece of paper in Simon's face.

  The Saint raised his eyebrows.

  "Not another of those jolly old warrants ?" he murmured. "You must be getting quite a collection of them."

  "I'm not going to need to collect any more," Teal said grimly. "You went too far when you left your mark on the dead man you threw out of your car in Richmond Park this afternoon. I'm taking you into custody on a charge of wilful murder!"

  X

  SIMON TOOK Mr Teal by the arm and led him back to a seat. He was probably the only man in the world who could have got away with such a thing, but he did it without the faintest sign of effort. He switched on about fifty thousand watts of his personality, and Mr Teal was sitting down beside him before he recovered from it.

  "Damn it, Templar, what the hell do you think you're doing?" he exploded wrathfully. "You're under arrest!"

  "All right, I'm under arrest," said the Saint accommodat­ingly, as he stretched out his long legs. "So what ?"

  "I'm taking you into custody——"

  "You said that before. But why the hurry ? It isn't early closing day at Vine Street, is it ? Let's have our tea first, and you can tell me all about this bird I'm supposed to have moidered. You say he was thrown out of a car——"

  "Your Hirondel!"

  "But why mine? After all, there are others. I don't use enough of them to keep the factory going by myself."

  The detective's jaws clamped on his chewing gum.

  "You can say all that to the magistrate in the morning," he retorted dourly. "It isn't my job to listen to you. It's my job to take you to the nearest police station and leave you there, and that's what I'm going to do. I've got a car and a couple of men at each of the entrances, so you'd better not give any trouble. I had an idea you'd be here at four o'clock ——"

  "So I spent the afternoon moidering people and chucking them out of cars, and then rush off to meet you so you needn't even have the trouble of looking for me. I even use my own famous Hirondel so that any cop can identify it, and put my trademark on the deceased to make everything easy for the prosecution. You know, Claud," said the Saint pen­sively, "there are times when I wonder whether I'm quite sane."

  Teal's baby blue eyes clung to him balefully.

  "Go on," he grated. "Let's hear the new alibi. It'll give me plenty of time to get it torn down before you come up for trial!"

  "Give me a chance," Simon protested. "I don't even know what time I'm supposed to have been doing all these exciting things."

  "You know perfectly well——

  "Never mind. You tell me, and let's see if we agree. What time did I sling this stiff out of my car?"

  "A few minutes after three—and he was only killed a few minutes before that."

  The Saint opened his cigarette case.

  "That rather tears it," he said slowly; and Teal's eye kindled with triumph.

  "So you weren't quite so smart——"

  "Oh, no," said the Saint diffidently. "I was just thinking of it from your point of view. You see, just at that time I was at the Hirondel factory at Staines, talking about a new blower that I'm thinking of having glued on to the old buzz-wagon. We had quite a conference over it. There was the works manager, and the service manager, and the shop foreman, and a couple of mechanics thrown in, so far as I remember. Of course, everybody knows that the whole staff down there is in my pay, but the only thing I'm worried about is whether you'll be able to make a jury believe it."

  A queerly childish contraction warped itself across Mr Teal's rubicund features. He looked as if he had been sud­denly seized with an acute pain below the belt, and was about to burst into tears.

  Both of these diagnoses contained a fundament of truth. But they were far from telling the whole story.

  The whole story went too far to be compressed into a space less than volumes. It went far back into the days when Mr Teal had been a competent and contented and common­place detective, adequately doing a job in which miracles did not happen and the natural laws of the universe were re­spected and cast-iron cases were not being perennially dis­integrated under his noise by a bland and tantalizing buc­caneer whose elusiveness had almost started to convince him of the reality of black magic. It coiled through an infinite history of incredible disasters and hair breadth frustrations that would have wrung the withers of anything softer than a marble statue. It belonged to the hysterical saga of his whole hopeless duel with the Saint.

  Mr Teal did not burst into tears. Nor, on this one unpre­cedented occasion, did he choke over his gum while a flush of apoplectic fury boiled into his round face. Perhaps there were no more such reactions left in him; or perhaps on this one occasion an inescapable foreboding of the uselessness of it all strangled the spasm before it could mature and gave him the supernatural strength to stifle his emotions under the pose of stolid somnolence that he could so rarely preserve against the Saint's fiendishly shrewd attack. But however he achieved the feat, he managed to sit quite still while his hot resentful eyes bored into the Saint's smiling face for a time before he struggled slothfully to his feet.

  "Wait a minute," he said thickly.

  He went over and spoke to a tall cadaverous man who was hovering in the background. Then he came back and sat down again.

  Simon trickled an impudent streamer of smoke towards him.

  "If I were a sensitive man I should be offended, Claud. Do you have to be quite so obvious about it when you send Sergeant Barrow to find out whether I'm telling you the truth? It isn't good manners, comrade. It savours of distrust."

  Mr Teal said nothing. He sat champing soporifically, staring steadfastly at the polished toes of his regulation boots, until Sergeant Barrow returned.

  Teal got up and spoke to him at a little distance; and when he rejoined the Saint the drowsiness was turgid and treacle-thick on his pink full-moon face.

  "All right," he bit out in a cracked voice, through lips that were stiff and clumsy with the bitterness of defeat. "Now suppose you tell me how you did it."

  "But I didn't do it, Claud," said the Saint, with a serious­ness that edged through his veneer of nonchalance. "I'm as keen as you are to get a line on this low criminal who takes my trademark in vain. Who was the bloke they picked up this afternoon ?"

  For some reason which was beyond his understanding, the detective stopped short on
the brink of a sarcastic come­back.

  "He was an Admiralty draughtsman by the name of Nancock," he said; and the gauzy derision in the Saint's glance faded out abruptly as he realized that in that simple answer he had been given the secret of Mr Osbett's remark­able chemistry.

  XI

  IT WAS as if a distorting mirror had been suddenly flattened out, so that it reflected a complete picture with brilliant and lifelike accuracy. The figures in it moved like marion­ettes.

  Simon even knew why Nancock had died. He himself, ironically for Teal's disappointment, had sealed the fat man's death-warrant without knowing it. Nancock was the man for whom the fifteen-hundred-pound packet of Miracle Tea had been intended; Nancock had been making a fuss at the shop when the Saint arrived. The fuss was due to nothing but Nancock's fright and greed, but to suspicious eyes it might just as well have looked like the overdone attempt of a guilty conscience to establish its own innocence. Nancock's money had passed into the Saint's hands, the Saint had got into the shop on the pretext of bringing the same package back, and the Saint had said: "I know all about your business." Simon could hear his own voice saying it. Osbett has made from that the one obvious deduction. Nancock had been a dead man when the Saint left the shop.

  And to dump the body out of a Hirondel, with a Saint drawing pinned to it, was a no less obvious reply. Probably they had used one of his own authentic drawings, which had still been lying on the desk when he left them. He might have been doing any one of a dozen things that afternoon which would have left him without an alibi.

  He had told Patricia that the next move was up to the ungodly, and it had come faster than he had expected. But it had also fulfilled all his other hopes.