The Black Wolf

by Fela Dawson Scott

  When they entered the glassed terrace, he smiled at her reaction. Plants filled the room, creating a kaleidoscope of color and smells. "It's beautiful, Ian!" "My father had this terrace built so he could close in his roses for the winter. The harsh Scottish weather was too much for the delicate bushes."

  Kolyn walked about, touching and smelling the blooms, so out of place that time of year. "In the spring, I will remove the glass panes and open it up to the sunshine." Kolyn had never seen anything like it before. "Did your father bring these from England?"

  "Aye," Ian said, pride touching his voice. "He did love his flowers." "Who cares for them now?" "Ian does."

  Ainsley entered the greenhouse and walked over to stand by her son. "Ian dotes over them as much as his father did." Ian's dimples showed as he smiled down at his mother, his arm draped casually about her tiny shoulders. Kolyn felt a twinge of envy over the relationship they had. She had never known a mother and son to be so comfortable and loving with each other.

  Her own brothers would have been chastised for such behavior by their overbearing father. Douglas MacGregor had not been outwardly affectionate, even to his wife, and certainly would not have abided his sons showing such emotions in public.

  This made Kolyn wonder what kind of man Ian's father had been. A man who had given up his life in England to be with the woman he loved in Scotland. "I'm having refreshments served," Ainsley said. "I thought you might need to sit and rest a while after your long ride."

  "Yes," Kolyn replied, trying to smile despite her tender lip. She was careful not to start it bleeding again and draw Ian's attention. "That would be nice." As they walked to the sitting room, Ainsley continued with polite conversation, Kolyn responding when necessary. Finally, they were seated, and Kolyn was provided with a hot cup of spiced wine. Ainsley sat across from her. Ian remained standing, a glass of wine in hand. She felt their eyes upon her.

  Finally Ainsley spoke up. "What will the MacGregor clan do now that you are here, Kolyn? Is Emmett able to act as the clan chief? Will your lands fall to ruin?" Kolyn had not thought on this matter before, and was quite surprised Ainsley had. And that Ainsley would approach her on such a delicate subject. Then again, Ainsley was a straightforward, honest woman and would deal with Kolyn in this same manner.

  ''I don't know." Then she added as an afterthought, "My lands seem already to be in ruin." "If there is anything we can do to help, please ask." Sincerity rang in Ainsley's statement, and Kolyn accepted it as it was meantas kindness, not insult. "Thank you for your offer, Ainsley. To be honest, I haven't given any of this a lot of thought."

  "Yes," Ainsley mused, setting her cup aside. "It all has been rather sudden, hasn't it?"

  Kolyn merely nodded agreement. It was still so confusing, so distressing. Once again, Emmett's threats rolled through her mind, sending tremors through her. She relived the moment she saw Andrew, no longer in Father McCloud's safe care, but instead with Donald. This prompted visions of every horror imaginable.

  "Dear," Ainsley said, interrupting her torture. "Yes?"

  "You looked quite shaken. I'm so sorry if we haven't been sympathetic to your feelings about this situation. I must admit my prejudice about your baby, my grandchild, and my son." Kolyn had not meant to alarm Ainsley. She had been nothing but generous and kind. "I did not mean to imply . . ." What could she say? Embarrassed at her lack of composure,

  Kolyn stood. "Please excuse me. I am feeling rather tired and would like to lie down." She all but ran from the room, tears already running down her face. How could she explain that her own brother, her own blood, was the cause of her unhappiness? He had her backed into a corner and was forcing her to kill someone she was finding to be a gentle and loving man. She almost wished Ian could be as fierce as his appearance portrayed. It would be easier. And what was now more confusing was the knowledge he had turned away from Blair when she was carrying his child. It did not make sense, not if he were being true to her, his love and devotion to her own unborn child real.

  Too many thoughts collided inside her mind, leaving her spent and worn. It was as if a storm raged, leaving in its wake total devastation. When she reached her rooms she entered and fell upon the bed sobbing. Ian entered quietly, not wanting to startle Kolyn. Her crying tore at his heart and tormented his mind. He stood for a long while, just listening, wanting to comfort, but knowing it would not be accepted.

  "Kolyn," he said softly, drawing her swollen eyes to him. They were empty and dull, the vibrancy he knew so well gone. He wanted to say the right thing, but what it was, he didn't know. "I'm sorry." Her delicate brows wrinkled together as she continued to stare at him, confusion deep in her green eyes. "Why?"

  It was his turn to be confused. "Why? Have I not done enough to you to be sorry for?"

  Still she stared at him. She sat up, pushing the strands of hair that clung to her wet face away. "Are you sorry I am with child and you had to marry me?" "I didn't have to do any such thing, Kolyn. I wanted to."

  "You" Kolyn paused, not believing what he was saying. "You wanted to marry me?"

  Ian walked over to sit on the bed beside her. "I nearly went crazy when I woke up at the inn and found you were gone. It takes me a while sometimes to figure out what it is I want. But I wanted to marry you."

  "That," she said, a sliver of a smile touching her lips, "is madness. You don't even know me, what I like, what I don't like."

  "I'll learn all those things. What I do know is that you have made me very happy. I have longed for a son and now you shall give me one." "What if it's a girl?" "Either way." He grinned, his dimples showing. "I will be the happiest man alive." She didn't know whether to believe him or not. "You're making light of me, aren't you?"

  "I've never been more serious in all my life."

  This wasn't at all what she expected of him. "What of your first son? Did you hate Blair so much that you couldn't love your child? Why did you want him dead too?" The shock that tore through Ian was cruel and ugly. He took a deep breath and held it. Slowly, he released it, along with the anger that claimed his mind. "Is that what you think?"

  "Aye," she whispered, frightened by the look in his eyes. Like a cloud his face had changed from light and airy to dark and stormy. "You killed an innocent child because of what Blair did to you, and now you want me to trust you with mine. How can I do that? How can I take the chance that you won't banish me into the streets to die like an animal?"

  He stood and looked down on herall his tenderness gone. "I guess you can't trust that I won't. Especially if you are a lying, betraying bitch like Blair was. Are you, Kolyn?" "I'm not Blair, but you don't know what lies in my heart or my reasons for what I do." "Then we are in agreement on one thing. We can't trust each other."

  "It seems that way," she said, wanting to take back all the cruel things she had said that took his dimples away. But she didn't. She couldn't, and she knew it. It would be better if he hated her. Ian started to leave, but stopped. "Oh, I meant to give this back to you earlier but forgot." He tossed the MacGregor's ring to her. It landed on the bed in front of her. Surprised, she picked it up.

  "How did you get this?" "Leslie sold it to me." He gave no more explanation and she didn't need more. "We've much more to overcome than just you being a MacGregor and me a Blackstone, don't we?" Kolyn raised her eyes up to meet his. "Yes. It seems so." A sudden look of hurt crossed his features. "Why couldn't we just be two people trying to love one another?"

  "That is an impossibility, Ian. We cannot deny who we are any more than we can deny what we feel. And they do not go together." "I had hoped they could," he whispered hoarsely, his dark gaze intense. Whatever she hoped, she could not say it. "You had hoped wrong."

  When Ian closed the door it felt like her heart was being torn from her chest. She would have cried, but there were no more tears. Kolyn understood what she must do kill Ian Blackstone, her husband and the father of her child. But she also understood what her heart had been telling her all along she loved Ian Blacks
tone.

  Ian berated himself for losing control of his temper. It galled him she thought so little of him. Kolyn had actually accused him of killing Blair's child. He hadn't known she was pregnant. If he had . . .

  The same tormenting thoughts plagued him, just as they had for the last five years. Would it never end? Would he never come to peace with himself over her death and the death of his firstborn? He feared the answer was no.

  What a fool he was! To think Kolyn would change into a loving wife and mother merely because he had married her. His mother was right. She had too many reasons to hate him and at that very moment he hated himself. Perhaps he should have told her he had not known of the child, but something told him she would not have believed him. There was no reason for her to. Maybe in time she would learn the truth.

  Ian looked out and saw the full moon hanging in the night sky. For the first time in over five years he had not even noticed, until now. Finding the strange room closed in and unbearable, he left, seeking the comfort of the dark forest.

  Unable to sleep, Kolyn watched the night sky and its full, rounded moon. She saw Ian leave Stonehaven and go toward the stables. She pondered about this strange man, so fierce, yet gentle. Curiosity overcoming her, she quickly pulled her shawl about her and left for the stables. Ian rode off on his black war-horse, and Kolyn was careful to conceal herself in the shadows. Soon, she was on her own mount and following him into the distant forest. She wondered about the legend and what he did when he went off at nightand why.

  Kolyn hoped to discover something about Ian that would clear some of the confusion that cluttered her mind. It was difficult to keep up with his larger horse, but she gently urged her mare to do so. She would not let him slip away into the darkness.

  Ian stopped his angry ride through the forest, an unusual feeling bringing him to a complete halt. Quietly, he dismounted and listened to the clamor of the night, intent on the sound he had heard. It too had stopped, yet he remained alert.

  A low growl sounded, and he knew his faithful wolf was nearby, warning him of what he had sensed. Someone or something was out there. With the stealth of an animal, Ian slipped into the cover of the trees, hiding himself from whatever or whoever watched him. He waited.

  The growl reached Kolyn's ears, sending a shiver down her spine and making her mare shift nervously. It came from where Ian stood by his horse, and she almost believed he had made the sound himself. She closed her eyes for a second, to calm her fear. When she opened them again, he was gone. She searched the trees that surrounded her, the shadows hiding many things from her. Something moved, snapping a twig. She settled her gaze on that spot, intent on seeing what crept up on her. It was like a ghostly apparition, melting into nature's outline.

  The first thing she saw was his eyes, the golden spheres surrounded by black. Then, slowly, she saw his head, then his chest and front paws. The wolf watched her, just as she watched him, neither moving. Then he moved off into the blackness, making no sound, no threat. It was a full minute before she looked away from the place he had been. She slid from her horse to the ground, thinking to follow the animal. The howl began as a low, mournful sound, climbed to reach a startling pitch, then receded and diminished, a long echo following.

  The silence that descended upon Kolyn was more nerve-wracking than the wolf's eerie howl. It was too quiet. "You're a foolish woman," Ian said, coming up behind her. Kolyn jumped, his sudden appearance catching her off guard. She had to take a deep breath to calm her racing heart before she could speak. "You frightened me."

  "What are you doing out here? You could have hurt yourself." His voice scolded and his eyes told her his anger. "You could have harmed the baby, Kolyn." He was right. She did feel ridiculous. "I'm sorry, I didn't think."

  "Aye, you didn't think." Ian was not ready to forgive her such foolishness. "I asked what you were doing out here in the middle of the night." She tried to think of a lie, but couldn't. "I followed you." Now she felt even more stupid than before. What had she been thinking?

  "Why?"

  Frustrated, she pushed him away from her, unable to think standing so close to him. "I wanted to know what you do when you ride off in the night." "What do you think I do?" His questions were starting to irritate her beyond all else. "I don't know. That's why I followed you!"

  Ian closed the distance between them in one long stride, his face towering above her, watching, waiting. She feared to look up. "'Tis dangerous out here." "You seem quite at home," she countered, still unable to look at him.

  Finally, he pulled her chin up to look at him. "Why are you so curious about what I do?" "I don't know," she whispered, wondering that herself. His stare bewildered her, sending her composure fleeing. "You seem to know very little tonight." Kolyn cleared her throat and licked her dry lips nervously. "Perhaps I'd best go back."

  Ian could feel her shivering and pulled her into his arms. "You're cold."

  She started to pull away, but his warmth sent the chill away, so she snuggled closer. "Aye. I am cold." "I'll take you home." Ian lifted her and carried her back to his horse. "Next time you want to know what I am doing, just ask, Kolyn. I'll not have you riding all over the country by yourself." He put Kolyn in front of his saddle, then mounted. "Are you comfortable?"

  She nodded and settled back against him. Ian rode to where her mare stood and picked up the reins. Slowly, they rode through the forest, his senses guiding their way in the darkness. "Kolyn," Ian said softly, bringing her eyes open. She looked about her in confusion, having fallen asleep on the way back to Stonehaven. Realizing how close Ian held her, she pulled away, embarrassed.

  Ian swung his leg over his saddle and landed gracefully on the ground. He reached up and lifted her into his arms, but he didn't put her down. Instead he carried her to the manor. "I can walk." "'Tis a pleasure, my lady."

  His voice was soft and husky, making it difficult to think clearly as sleep clouded her mind. Her body reacted to his closeness, leaving no room for her weakened will to respond. She wanted to despise his touch. Instead she longed for more. Just being near him awakened the desire inside her. She loathed such weakness, but she could not keep the need from stirring within her.

  When they arrived at the door to her bedroom, Ian set her down, his arms still wrapped about her. Kolyn made the mistake of looking up. All her resolve was lost to his golden gaze.

  Ian pulled her closer and kissed her, the instant passion between them deepening the kiss. The tiny warmth in the pit of her stomach ignited into an intense heat, the hot blood that ran through her veins scorching her flesh, searing her mind. Gone were the thoughts of distrust and hatred. Only his kiss mattered.

  When he pulled away, Kolyn couldn't hide the disappointment. 'For a woman who thinks so little of me," Ian muttered, his own feelings reeling out of control, "you seem quite amiable. Tell me, Kolyn, what am I to do? It is hard to resist such temptation." "Aye," she agreed with him, pulling back from his caress.

  "Good night, Kolyn." "Good night, Ian." Kolyn went inside, leaving Ian to stand alone in the empty hallway.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Ainsley watched Kolyn for a few moments before she entered the terrace where she sat. Kolyn looked up, and Ainsley thought she looked troubled, her eyes sad. Dark smudges marked them, telling Ainsley of Kolyn's sleepless night.

  "Good morning, Kolyn." "Good morning," she replied, her voice as listless as her look. This worried Ainsley.

  "Would you like to walk into the village this morning, dear? You look a little pale. Perhaps some fresh air will bring some color to your cheeks."

  "That would be nice. I'll get my wrap." "I'll walk with you," Ainsley said, hooking her arm through Kolyn's. "Spring will be here soon. Winters always seem so long and dreary, don't you think?" Kolyn nodded, glad to have the company but not in a very talkative mood. She allowed Ainsley to carry the conversation, and her new mother-in-law didn't seem to mind that she did. Kolyn politely answered when necessary, allowing her mind to be diverted
from her troubles.

  As they walked into the courtyard, Kolyn felt something brush against her, the feel familiar, especially when he let out a raspy honk. She knelt down to stroke her goose. "What is he doing here?" Ainsley smiled, then laughed, the sound soft and gentle. "Ian brought him home from the tavern. A dog too. Molly threatened to cook the goose, and for some strange reason Ian didn't want the animal touched. When I asked, he just growled and said he liked the damn thing."

  Kolyn's throat tightened and, again, amazement touched her. Ian's actions were a puzzlementnever had she known a man quite like him. A deep heartache began anew. She tried to ignore its pain. What kind of man Ian was didn't matter. They began to walk, and the goose followed Kolyn, his quiet noise like a shadow behind her. Ainsley stopped and tried to shoo him back, but he couldn't be swayed.

  "He is fine, Ainsley. I don't mind his company."

  A bright twinkle lit Ainsley's eyes, and Kolyn thought she might be suspicious of whose goose this had been all along. But she said nothing.

  It took some time for them to walk through the village, everyone stopping to speak a kind word or two to Ainsley. She introduced Kolyn as Ian's wife, making her feel uneasy, yet warm congratulations finally calmed her hidden fears. Her own people had rejected her, but Ian's took her into their hearts. Hurt swarmed over her, but the genuine devotion Ian's people willingly gave helped ease the pain.