by L. J. Fine
Shit. Was it really that obvious that this was about a man? There could be any number of problems going on in her life that didn’t involve the male of their species. Granted, it was the intimacy between her male and female main characters that had improved so vastly in her story and she didn’t think that one could simply research that kind of connection on the internet. Still, she decided to play dumb. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jessica cocked an eyebrow. “Right. Just like I’m sure you have no idea who that Adonis staring holes into your back over by the door is, either.”
Emma spun around so fast she almost got whiplash. Sure enough, there was Ben standing just inside the door, amber eyes glued to her. Immediately, on first sight, her heart started thumping to the point her pulse felt like it might escape right out of her suddenly very dry throat. What was he doing here?
As usual, he looked amazing. His dark hair was in sexy disarray on his head, his jaw rough with the beginnings of dark stubble giving him that devilish look that never failed to make her panties wet. He was wearing his black leather jacket over a dark gray t-shirt and those dark worn jeans rested dangerously low on his hips in a way that should be illegal. But it was those whiskey-colored eyes that caught her attention. They looked haunted, but at the same time, determined.
When their eyes connected the only change in his expression was that lush mouth of his forming into a straight line. Neither of them moved and soon she became aware of how silly they must look just staring across the room at each other. So she made the first move.
“Excuse me,” she mumbled to Jessica, ignoring the knowing smile breaking out along the woman’s face.
“Hi,” she said lamely when she reached him for lack of knowing what else to say.
“Hi,” he replied in kind, shoving his hands in his pockets.
She knew damn well he hadn’t come all this way to make awkward small talk with her and her curiosity got the better of her. “What are you doing here?”
A line of pain formed right down the center of his face as he scanned the crowded bookstore. “Can we go somewhere to talk? Someplace maybe a little quieter?”
“Sure, my apartment is only down the street. We can go there.” Whatever it was he came to tell her, she wanted to talk about without an audience. As it was, the women of her writers’ group were staring at him like they had never seen a man before. Well, she had to admit, men as hot as Ben were few and far between.
Grabbing her purse and telling Jessica she would call, she led Ben out of the store and started for her apartment. The short walk was quiet and not a little bit tense and she searched her brain for anything that might break the silence.
“How did you know where I was?”
“Chloe told me where you’d be if I came up tonight,” he stated quietly without looking at her. It made sense that Chloe would have spoken to him and she wondered what else they had talked about. Her friend had been calling her at least twice a day since she left. Just checking in, she said but Emma knew it was because she was worried about her. Emma didn’t blame her. The last time they had seen each other, Emma hadn’t exactly been in the most stable frame of mind. Not once had she mentioned Ben, though, and a heads up about this visit would have been nice.
It didn’t take them long to reach her building and ride the elevator up to her apartment. Still, the air between them remained quiet and strained. Given Ben’s general dislike of verbal communication, she wondered how painful this conversation was going to be on her end.
“Do you want something to drink?” she asked once they entered the apartment and she took off her jacket.
He shook his head. “I’m good.” Then he said nothing else, just braced his shoulder against the wall and stared at her with those intense eyes.
Not knowing what to do with herself, she perched stiffly on the edge of a couch cushion. Finally, it got to be too much. “You’re gonna have to start talking, Ben. This silence is driving me crazy,” she blurted.
That incredible mouth tilted just a little at the corners and he shoved himself away from the wall and came over to sit beside her on the couch. But when he turned to face her, that little smile disappeared and was once again replaced by that line of pain.
“What you said to me before you left. You meant that, didn’t you.” It wasn’t a question. He knew she had been perfectly sincere. This was more that he was confused by what she had said, couldn’t believe what she had said and maybe wanted confirmation that she had actually said it. He didn’t make it up.
“I meant every single word.” Hopefully this time her words would sink in, but he just shook his head.
“So you just drop the ‘I love you’ bomb and leave?” There was accusation in his tone and it flabbergasted her.
“You told me to leave! What was I supposed to do? Hang around and beg you to open your eyes and believe me?”
There was a pause then when he didn’t fire back a reply and he seemed to be gathering his words. “I didn’t come here to fight with you, especially about this. I believe you, Emma.”
She took a deep breath and held it. “Then what did you come here for?”
Moving forward, he cupped her face in his big, warm hands. “You, Sugar.” He kissed her lips softly and she stopped breathing altogether. “I came here for you.”
This time when he kissed her, the numbing shock started to wear off and she all but climbed into his lap as she deepened the kiss. He groaned and did pull her into his lap to straddle his hips as he consumed her.
God, she had missed him. Missed his hard body pressed up against hers, missed his soft lips covering hers, pushing them apart to let his tongue slide over hers. She had missed his warmth and his dry sense of humor. Most of all, she had missed the steady comfort of his presence. It had only been a week but she felt like she had been walking through fog without him. Like there was nothing solid to anchor her back to the Earth.
But before she could get completely lost in him, she needed to clarify a few things first. “Wait,” she panted, breathless as she broke their kiss and pulled back. He growled in disapproval at the loss of contact with her mouth but she held him off when he tried to pull her back to him. “Wait, Ben. You’re here for me. What exactly does that mean?”
Sighing, he rested his head back against the couch, settling his body deeper into the cushions and adjusting her body on top of him. “It means that when you left I had a lot of time to think. You were right. I’ve lived so long with the stigma of what happened to Tim and the low expectations of everyone around me that I just figured that was the way it was. It wasn’t ever going to change. I got too complacent and that’s never a good thing, baby. Mostly I just stuck around for my brothers and nowhere else appealed to me. Didn’t think a new location would be any different than the one I was in. But then I met you.” A soft smile curved his lips. “You didn’t know me but you saw me more clearly than anyone in my life ever has. Including me. When you left, it didn’t feel right. I didn’t feel right. You made me see that, at the very least, I needed to get the hell out of that town and away from the toxic people around me.”
Speaking of… “What about Paul? Do you think he’ll try to find you?”
A rueful smile touched his lips and he shook his head. “I actually took your advice after that last night at the bar and called the cops. I meant it when I said that I was done being his whipping boy.”
Gratification filled her. It was about damn time he realized that he didn’t deserve all the bullshit that Paul had put him through. “So what happened to him?”
Ben’s smile broadened into a grin that was infectious. She felt the mirth in his eyes bubbling up inside her until she was smiling back at him. “Asshole got charged with harassment and criminal mischief. He’s on probation. Has to go to some anger management and drug and alcohol classes. And he has to pay me restitution for my bike.”
“Good.” She nodded with satisfaction. Paul needed to face some kind of consequences for his
actions. He needed to know he couldn’t just get away with it.
Slowly, Ben’s hands began to run over her body, up and down her arms, onto her thighs pulling her closer to him. His caresses silently changing the subject until Paul was the furthest thing from her mind. She loved the constant need he seemed to have to touch her, the way his soothing hands on her made everything else in the world fade away. Until it was just the two of them left. The words he spoke started to confirm that maybe he felt the same way and dangerous hope spread through her.
“There’s a void inside me, Emma. It’s been there for so long I’ve just gotten used to it. When I’m with you, though, it goes away. And the fact that you love me? In spite of all my shit?” He licked his lips and gave a little laugh. “I’m so full to bursting knowing that, baby, I couldn’t let you just leave.”
She knew the feeling. Her heart felt so swollen right now and she was finding it a little hard to breathe. “What are you saying then, Ben?” She kissed him softly, then whispered against his lips, “I need to hear you spell it out.”
Strong fingers threaded through her hair and he pulled her back to look into her eyes. “I’m saying that I love you. I’m saying that I can be a fucking construction worker anywhere, build a new life anywhere just as long as it’s far away from where I grew up. I want that life with you.” The way he looked at her then, his amber eyes swimming and so full of love and earnestness had tears prickling the backs of her eyes. “You’re home for me.”
That was it. She attacked his mouth like a woman possessed and he gave as good as he got. She didn’t know how long they sat there, wrapped up in each other but eventually their frantic kisses turned lazy and an important fact hit Emma hard. They had all the time in the world.
“Adam said something to you, didn’t he?” No matter what Adam might have said, she knew it wouldn’t have made a difference, but she wanted to know. Couldn’t resist needling him.
He grunted and shifted her more firmly onto his lap. “Yeah, but I didn’t really listen to anything he said.” He kissed her. “In one ear and out the other.”
“Mmhmm.” She kissed him back. “So, you’re moving?” She smiled against his lips and he returned it, nipping at her lips with this teeth.
“I am.”
“Stay with me,” she breathed into his mouth before giving him a slow, languid kiss.
He laughed, the vibrations tingling her lips and the sound making her feel like the most contented woman on the planet. “You couldn’t stop me from staying if you tried, Sugar. I don’t belong anywhere else. Just right here with you.”
Emma couldn’t have agreed more and all was right with the world as she snuggled deep into the arms of her beloved Anti-hero.
The End
About L.J.Fine
L.J. Fine’s idea of the perfect life is to sit in her pajamas all day sipping on a good cup of coffee while playing in her imagination. Her mother instilled in her a love of reading (romance novels in particular) at an early age and she turned that love into a passion for writing her own love stories with a decidedly dirty-minded twist. Mom’s so proud!
L.J. lives in Pennsylvania, where she is working on making that dream of a perfect life into a reality.
L.J. welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and email addresses on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
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Also by L.J. Fine
Relentless Liberation
Ellora’s Cave Publishing
www.ellorascave.com
Seduced by the Anti-Hero
ISBN 9781419993824
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Seduced by the Anti-Hero Copyright © 2015 L.J. Fine
Edited by Susan Edwards
Cover design by Allyse Leodra
Cover photography by Shutterstock
Electronic book publication January 2015
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Table of Contents
Blurb
Title Page
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
About L.J.Fine