SEAL of My Heart

by Sharon Hamilton

  “Not complaining or anything.”

  “Didn’t take it as such.” His breathing was heavy. “Now your real life is creeping back. Now you’ll have to deal with all those people. Wish I was there to help you.”

  “Me too.”

  “I could come up next weekend, if I can get away. Or, you could come down.”

  “No. If I still have a job, I’ll have to work all weekend, like I promised. Might not be able to spend a whole lot of time together.”

  “I’ll take whatever I can get.” His sexy voice was getting raspier.

  “I like being missed. I like having to urgently steal away minutes with you. You should capture me and whisk me away.” She was surprised at her own comment. So much had changed in the few little days since she’d met him.

  “That sounds nice, baby. I promise to be gentle.”

  She found herself laughing in spite of the heartache.

  “That would be fun. I’d like to introduce you to Sonoma County. My parents. My friends.”

  “Sounds serious.” The low timbre of his voice made her shiver. “Miss you, sweetheart. Only been a few hours and I miss you already.”

  “This is serious for me, Tyler.”

  “And for me, baby. Can’t wait to learn all about where you grew up.”

  “Then come this weekend. I’m not sure I can last any longer than that without imploding.”

  “I’ll work on it. It’s the last weekend before deployment, and sometimes they want to keep the Team together. Easier if you come down here. But I understand you’ve got your job.”

  “Which I don’t want anymore.”

  “But you have to finish it off clean. Besides, I’ll be gone at least four months. Better count on six. You’ll need that job to support yourself until—”

  The awkward silence crashed like an iron barbell. What was their future? And was he thinking that way? She hoped to God she wasn’t misreading him.

  “Until I can sort out what I’m doing with my plans up here.” She thought he’d appreciate being let off the hook.

  “Yes, baby. We’ll take it one step at a time.”

  “But in the meantime, I am going to miss you something fierce. I think one way or the other, we should try to see each other one more time before you go. That way…”

  Now it was time for her to create the awkward silence.

  “We’ll know the trajectory,” he whispered. “You can’t plot the trajectory when you only have one point of reference. You have to have two events to plot the direction of the distance between those two points.”

  “Well said.” She was in awe that his steely resolve could creep back into their conversation, but he still could remain loving, soft and normal. Hell, not normal—fantastic and downright irresistible.

  Clover popped her head inside the room. Kate held up a finger. “Look, Tyler, I’ll call you back later. Just nice to hear your voice.”

  Clover’s eyes got huge and the crease between her brows deepened.

  “I’m imposing on my niece’s privacy,” she continued.

  “Later, Kate. You know I love you.”

  “Yes,” she looked up at Clover who was giving her a shoulder full of attitude. “Me, too. We’ll talk soon.” She was worried he would find her signoff too impersonal as she hung up.

  “Tyler? You’re talking to Tyler?” Clover asked.

  “You know I am.”

  “What about Randy?”

  And that was a very good question. One she was going to have to deal with tomorrow.

  Time to buck up and deal with my real world, just like Tyler said. It was an apt way to put it. While looking at her niece, she realized it would not be an easy task, but even if Clover no longer looked up to her, it was still the right thing to do to set the record straight with her.

  “I’m not in love with Randy. I’m in love with Tyler.”

  Clover plugged in her pink laptop and sat on her bed, bouncing as she did so. “I don’t ever want to fall in love. Look what it did to Mom. Look what it’s doing to you, to Grandma. To everybody in this family. Like everyone’s gone batshit or something.”

  C

  hapter 19

  Tyler stopped by Gunny’s Gym before he made it to the apartment. As he expected, Kyle, Cooper and Luke were working a little PT. Sanouk was cleaning their new display cabinet and setting out the branded tee shirts, and plastic water bottles, as well as Team fundraising patches, Gunny’s Gym mugs, and SEAL logo survival bands for kids’ summer camps. Even a new vending machine with enhanced mineral waters and natural fruit drinks had been added.

  The Chinese reflexologist and masseur sat on his table, arms crossed. Gunny’s utility closet had been converted to a private treatment space, and the door was ajar while the ancient man waited. A colorful poster of the bottom of a foot was tacked to the wall behind.

  Kyle started in on Tyler first. “Hey, if it isn’t lover boy. I hear you got bitten by the love bug real good up in Portland.”

  He had to laugh at that one. “Yeah, I did.” There was part of him that was proud of the fact that those two satisfying days with Kate seemed to have given him some mental clarity. His life now was more complicated, and he surprisingly liked it.

  Holy shit, I can do this.

  “Things still a mess, then?” Kyle asked. He threw down the rusty iron hand weights, which bounced off the rubber mat, too close to Coop’s foot.

  “I don’t care who you are, Lannie,” Coop shouted. “You fuckin’ nail my toe and I’ll kick you in the butt with my good one and make it come out your other side.”

  “Roger that, Coop. My bad. So, Tyler, got everything nailed down?”

  The rest of the contingent started with the catcalls again.

  Best he just admit it. “I’m in love, fellas. It finally happened to me.”

  Coop stood up quickly, came over and put his lanky arm around Tyler’s shoulder. “Just so you know, what happens next is you ask her to marry you so no one else takes her while you’re gone.”

  “Wait a minute Coop, he’s only fuckin’ known her for less than a week. You think that’s smart?”

  “Since when are we talking smart, ladies?” Luke said.

  Cooper dished it back to Luke. “Hey, I think you getting married was the best fuckin’ decision you ever made, Luke. Now for step two, if you’re lucky, you’ll be back in time to see your new little one.”

  And then everyone got quiet. Coop removed his arm from Tyler’s shoulder. The unspoken fact was that Luke’s wife, Julie, would be delivering while they were deployed. And no one liked that one bit.

  It was Kyle’s opportunity to say something, if he wanted to. And naturally he did. “Shit, fellas, I was thinking we’d be all wrapped up with this caper in thirty days and be back home. Besides, you know how strong Julie is. I was there for Brandon. Maybe little miss pink wants to come into this world without her father’s tatted arms holding her.”

  “No shit, Luke. A girl? You’re having a girl?”

  “And all of you get to keep your hands off her when she arrives. That goes for Julie, too,” Luke said to the group.

  Tyler worked into a rotation and had Luke spot him. He waited for a space to engage Kyle in a private conversation.

  “You okay, Ty?”

  “I’m fuckin’ pretty damned good, except I got a favor to ask.”

  “Shoot.”

  “I know we had plans to get together this weekend with the girls and families. But, I’m wanting to go up north one more time before we deploy. Any chance of that?”

  Kyle tried to hide a frown that threatened to breach his normal poker face. Tyler wondered whether he shouldn’t have asked, but he had to.

  “You single guys have it a little tougher on that score. Can’t bring just any someone to the gatherings, and if you go solo, I know it’s not much fun, especially if there’s some place you’d rather be. I get it. Believe me I get it.”

  “Appreciate that, sir.”

  “So tell me if i
t’s worth it. You real serious about this girl? And any chance it will fuck you up before we leave—not that we ever know anything before it happens. Especially with women.”

  “Roger that, Kyle. But from where I’m standing, it would be worth it.”

  “Then you know if that’s the case, she’ll wait. It will work out anyway. You gotta ask yourself if it’s time to put down the fantasy loves and start dealing with the hellhole we’re landing in over there in a couple of days.”

  “Yessir. I know that. And I still want to go. I mean, I’d feel bad if I got home and found out she’d had a change of heart.”

  “This the girl who is engaged?”

  “Was.”

  “You interfering with her life, Tyler?”

  “Absol-fuckin-lutely, sir.”

  Kyle placed his hands on his hips, dripping sweat from his chin and chuckled. “You’re a horn dog, just like me. I couldn’t take it slow, either. But hell, Christy loves it that way.”

  “Kate’s the same, Lannie. She’s the one. I know she is.”

  “Then you go on Friday. You get your butt back here Sunday because Monday we prep and we’re outta here.”

  “Thanks, man.”

  Tyler turned to leave the room. “Excuse me, sailor,” he heard behind his back.

  Kyle had squinted up worse than his old drill sergeant at Great Lakes, the guy that practically made him pee his pants that first day when he was a speck of shit in training to be a tadpole.

  All the Team guys had stopped. Luke was wiping his face with a towel.

  “You finish your PT, you hairless frog. You get your body right with the SEAL gods, okay? And then you go run off and get your dick polished.”

  After he finished he joined the other guys in wiping down the equipment, spraying the vinyl and chrome parts with Amornpan’s new sanitizer, which was laced with a faint lavender scent. Aside from the fact that the gym was cleaner and more organized and smelled a hell of a lot better, she hadn’t changed it much from when Gunny owned it. The spirit of the old man was still there, as if he was waiting just on the other side of the air intake grates near the ceiling.

  The “no digital anything” still ruled, except for the scale, and then only because it was too easy to fake the old-fashioned weighted ones. The iron dumbbells suffered from advancing rust. The mats had the same worn patches where hundreds of Team guys had grunted and scratched to find their footing as they sweated their way to optimum performance. So they’d be ready for anything. Be ready to die with honor, if it came to that.

  Getting strong was what you did. It was how you got your mind prepared for the rigors of the unknown. So you could be counted on to do your part when it was needed. There were never any second chances, unless you were planning on spending eternity in Heaven. Tyler would rather spend it in Gunny’s gym, or in Kate’s bed.

  He telephoned the airlines and got a flight out Friday evening. It was a non-stop to Santa Rosa, which was more expensive, but he didn’t want to waste a minute of time with her by getting stuck on a freeway from San Francisco.

  He left a message for Kate and she returned his call while he was unpacking and doing laundry at his apartment.

  “That’s wonderful, Tyler. I can hardly wait. I’ll pick you up.”

  “Maybe we can go someplace Friday night, go over to the Waterwheel Inn?”

  “No, sorry, that won’t work. I have to be at work early Saturday and Sunday. Gotta maneuver my way out of there.”

  “I’ll get you to work on time. You don’t trust me?”

  His dead-sexy, raspy voice made her tingle and she giggled in spite of herself. “Okay, if I still have my job. They haven’t fired me yet, that I know of.”

  “Baby, we don’t want that, do we?”

  “No, I guess not. They’d probably have told me by now. Or maybe I’ll get a ‘you’re fired’ message tomorrow when I pick up my paycheck.”

  Tyler knew what that was all about. Randy and his family were not giving up on her. And that was going to make this weekend even more important. His instincts were right. He was going to do everything in his power to make sure there was no way Kate would ever change her mind.

  He would be up against an enemy who had the luxury of time on his hands, could afford to wait for Tyler to make a mistake. And that was just not ever going to happen. He was going to make damned sure she understood how much they needed each other.

  C

  hapter 20

  Kate’s flight was delayed, so when she finally got back to the Park N Ride via the Airporter, the day was nearly over. Randy had dropped her off when she went to Portland. No one was there to pick her up now.

  She dialed her best friend, Sheila.

  “Holy shit, Kate. What’s happening?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean Randy has been, like, throwing things all over the tasting room. Yesterday he dumped four cases of wine over, just crashed right into them like it was on purpose. His dad gave him a public scolding and Randy was seething. I mean, I’ve never seen him so mad.”

  A thread of unease snaked its way through Kate’s belly, up to her throat, triggering her gag reflex.

  Sheila’s breathing was deep and breathless, like she’d been running. Kate waited a little too long to speak up. “You okay?”

  “I called off the wedding.”

  “We heard. Why did you do that, Kate?” Her voice was whispery and incredulous.

  “I don’t love him.”

  “Geez. When did you figure that out?”

  “Look, can I explain it all later. I have a favor to ask. Are you working today?”

  “Was going to go in at three. Why, you need something?”

  “Oh, was hoping I could bum a ride. Can you pick me up?”

  “Where are you?”

  “The Park N Ride by the Fairgrounds. I could call a taxi if it’s a big imposition—”

  “Don’t be silly, Kate. I’ll be right there.” Sheila hung up.

  Kate sat on a cold bench in the shadow of the concrete freeway overpass. Wind whipped around her ankles and up the back of her neck. She zipped her jacket and flipped up her collar. Her thoughts became melancholy, even though there was excitement in her belly at the thought of Tyler would come to see her.

  Recalling the days before she left for Portland, which now seemed like a decade ago, she was glad they’d left her car at her cottage, rather than over at Randy’s. In fact, Randy hadn’t been available the night before she left, so he’d picked her up that morning to take her to San Francisco. It would have been awkward if she’d needed to go over to his apartment to get her car.

  She got out her cell to see if she’d missed a call from Tyler. It was a blank, black screen. She knew he’d be busy, especially since he was getting off a little early to catch the Friday flight. She texted him to let him know she’d landed. Then she did the same to Gretchen. Gretchen had answered with a Good luck. She was certainly going to need that.

  Sheila drove up in a new Volvo just as Kate was putting her cell back in her purse. She wheeled her weekend bag over to the back as her friend popped the hatch.

  “Wow, Sheila. You musta got a raise. Beautiful car.”

  “New to me. Leased.”

  “A big step up from your crusty old Volvo. The one with breast cancer around the headlights.” Kate belted in.

  “Well, don’t you look like the cat that ate the canary?” Sheila said, winking. She’d put a bright red rinse in her hair. Her tank top was skimpy, showing off her pierced belly button, but her jeans were slightly baggy, with rolled up cuffs lined in pink flannel that matched the pink shoelaces on her black lace-up boots with paisley designs on them. Kate didn’t think she’d be going to work that way, but then Sheila was known as being a rather free spirit.

  “Your hair’s different,” Kate remarked.

  “Time for a change.”

  On their way to Kate’s place, Sheila pumped her for details. Kate attempted to keep Tyler’s name out of it,
but somehow got caught up in the barbed wire of Sheila’s clawing interrogation.

  “Tyler? I used to know a guy named Tyler. He was just my type, too. Loved to screw all day and all night.”

  Kate blushed. She could have been describing her Tyler.

  “He didn’t live in Portland,” Sheila said.

  “My Tyler’s from San Diego. He’s a SEAL.”

  Sheila’s head whipped around nervously, then she recovered her composure. “Nope. Definitely not the same guy. A SEAL, huh? All I can say is that he must be pretty incredible if you’d toss Randy off the boat for someone else. When do I get to meet him?”

  “We’re working on it.”

  “You gotta work this weekend, kiddo. We got some big parties coming in. I’m working too. No time off, I’m afraid.”

  “I know.” The comment didn’t sit well with Kate, but she didn’t reply. She watched the tree-lined streets along the route home. The salt and peppering of manicured as well as unkempt homes in the neighborhood she lived in. The large Victorian in front of her cottage was painted light moss green with green trim. Her cottage, nestled behind the main house under a fruitless mulberry tree, was yellow. Sheila parked on the street and set the brake.

  It was the first time Kate noticed Sheila had gotten a tattoo on her right shoulder. The cluster of burgundy grapes surrounded a red heart with the words Wine Lover scripted inside. She turned and Kate also saw Sheila was wearing heavier eye makeup than she was used to seeing. Sheila’s glance through half-lidded eyes was mischievous.

  She leaned toward Kate, flattening back the collar of Kate’s fuzzy jacket, patting it at her shoulder. “When are you going to talk to him?”

  “Tyler?”

  “I love that name,” she whispered. Her eyebrows jiggled up and down and her speech was syrupy sweet, but well controlled. In a low sexy growl, Sheila said, “Randy. I was wondering about Randy. Or were you going to avoid him altogether?”

  The smirk after her statement seemed condescending to Kate.

  “I suppose I’ll see him this tomorrow. They already had me on the schedule, but when I looked online yesterday, they’d booked me for tomorrow and all though the weekend.”