Carry My Baby

by Shanade White

  “Sorry, I don’t know what got into me. I don’t usually giggle,” Amanda said, her cheeks flaming even more.

  “Hmm, don’t be sorry,” Theo said, nibbling on her ear. “It’s cute.”

  “Cute is not the way I would describe myself,” Amanda said, her voice husky thanks to Theo’s lips and teeth on her neck.

  “I would,” he said, then found her mouth preventing any further discussion.

  When she woke up again and hour later, her stomach was growling so loudly it had woken Theo up. “Sounds like we need to get something to eat,” he said, getting out of bed and putting on his clothes. “I’m going to take a quick shower. I’ll meet you in the kitchen in a few minutes.”

  Amanda watched him go, thinking how much things had changed in such a short time, but still very aware that she was skating on thin ice messing around with Theo. But he made her feel so wonderful, the kind of wonderful that didn’t come along that often in life, and although it was perfectly clear to her that she might end up with her heart broken in not one but two places, she wasn’t going to walk away from this until she was forced to. Theo was everything she’d dreamed of in a man, and it had nothing to do with his money, it was the man she’d discovered hidden underneath the money that appealed to her. She’d risk heartbreak if it meant that she got to be with that Theo for even one more day.

  When she finally made it down to the kitchen, Theo had already made them a big breakfast with Marci hanging over his shoulder, looking like she had a million question but didn’t dare ask them. “Well, good morning, I thought you were never going to get up. How did you sleep?” she asked Amanda when she came into the kitchen.

  Amanda couldn’t help the blush that crept across her face. “I slept really well, thank you.”

  “I was just telling Marci that we’re going to be heading back to Homestead today,” Theo said, putting a huge plate of food in front of her. “I didn’t unload the four-wheeler when I got here last night so it shouldn’t take long to get going.”

  Amanda hadn’t seen that coming and instantly wanted to protest, but instead she calmly suggested, “Don’t you think that it might be a good idea to wait for Seth?”

  “I think we’ll be fine on our own, as you pointed out it’s not that far,” Theo said, waving away her suggestion.

  “I was hoping to stay until next week, Michael promised to teach me more about storytelling,” Amanda finally admitted.

  Theo looked at her. “Are you still thinking about that? I thought we settled this last night, we’re going back to Homestead today.”

  “I don’t remember agreeing to that,” Amanda said, thinking that he was being controlling again.

  Theo, who’d just put a huge bit of food into his mouth, chewed his food for much longer than he needed to. “Well, maybe I forgot to tell you, but we’re still going today,” he said, then thought about the words he’d just used. “Sorry, I thought we talked about this, I’d feel much better if you were back in Homestead, the weather is getting colder and it’s going to snow soon.”

  Amanda wanted to push the point, but knew that what he said made sense, although it did make her a bit nervous that they’d be traveling alone. “I guess I just wish there was going to be someone else with us,” she said, then wished she hadn’t.

  “Don’t you think I can take care of us?” Theo asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

  Amanda back pedaled. “I’m sure you’re perfectly capable….” She trailed off, not sure what to stay.

  “Get your stuff packed, I’ll get the four-wheelers,” Theo said, then stomped out of the kitchen.

  “I guess I messed that up,” Amanda said, watching him leave.

  “Men get their pride hurt much too easily,” Marci said, shaking her head. “Let me help you get packed, it’ll be fine, you’ll see.”

  When Theo showed up right after lunch, he had an extra four-wheeler behind him, and was anxious to get on the trail. “If we leave right now, we can be back in Homestead before dinner,” he said, picking up her bags and loading them into the back of one vehicle.

  Amanda didn’t want to leave the village and all her new friends, but knew that on this one she wouldn’t budge Theo, so she said goodbye to Marci and waved to the rest of the villagers as they rode out of town. She had no idea if she’d ever be there again and that thought made her sad, but life had a way of surprising you and hopefully someday she’d find herself back here. Until then she had lots of great memories and a renewed sense of motivation, and she was even more convinced that once the baby was born, her time in the village would help her to write the novel she’d been dreaming of.

  There was also a completely new and exciting idea brewing in her head, one that would be much different than what she’d imagined, but it needed some time to form, some time to come together in her mind before she shared it with anyone. Should things go badly with Theo and the baby, it was something she could fall back on, something that might just get her through the nights of pain she would be facing when this was all over.

  Chapter 9

  After only a few hours on the trail, they’d already passed the halfway mark so Theo suggested that they stop for a break. There was an uneasy feeling between them, and as they sat eating the snack that Marci had packed for them the silence began to become uncomfortable. What they’d shared the night before had been wonderful, but neither knew where to go from there. That they shared a physical connection was all too clear to both of them, in fact it wouldn’t have taken much to distract them right then, both had been thinking about the night before and the passion was simmering right on the surface.

  It was the rest of it that had them both confused, Amanda was a mess, her growing attachment to the baby coupled with her new-found feelings about Theo had left her feeling not only vulnerable but on edge. Theo wanted more than anything to believe that what he was feeling for Amanda was real and not a product of the hormones she was producing, but had never imagined that he could feel this way about a woman, especially a woman who said that she never wanted any kids.

  Several times, one or the other would open their mouth to say something, then change their mind. There was so much that they needed to talk about, so many things that seemed to be standing in their way that neither knew where to start. Amanda wanted to tell Theo that she’d changed her mind about kids, that the experience of pregnancy had introduced her to a kind of love she’d never experienced before. Theo wanted to tell Amanda that his feelings for her were nothing like he’d ever experience before, that he was scared, scared of both their intensity and what they might mean for the rest of their lives.

  Before anything could be said, they’d finished their snack and gotten back on the trail. Both felt like they’d missed an opportunity and were distracted by thoughts of the other when Amanda noticed that the trees were swaying strangely, then she felt the ground beneath her begin to shift. She stopped her four-wheeler and looked around her, not sure if she’d really felt what she thought she had. The swaying in the tops of the trees had quieted and she decided that it had been her imagination getting the better of her.

  Throwing the four-wheeler back in gear she looked down the trail to see that Theo had gotten quite a bit ahead of her. She’d only gone a few yards when she felt the ground shake again, this time with enough force that she had no doubt what she was feeling. Theo felt it this time as well because he stopped his four-wheeler and looked back over his shoulder at her, a look of surprise on his face when he saw how far ahead of her he’d gotten.

  He started to turn his four-wheeler around just as another tremor shook the ground, this one much stronger than the last. Amanda jumped off her four-wheeler, yelling for Theo to do the same, but he couldn’t hear her over the noise of the engine. Horrified she watched as the four-wheeler jumped off the trail and began to slide down the side of a steep hill. Theo tried to steer out of the slide, but the four-wheeler had too much momentum and began to tip onto one side. He had just enough time to jump off before it ro
lled over on him, but when it landed his ankle was underneath it and he was pinned to the ground.

  As the tremors died away, Amanda looked around her, seeing a much different forest than just a few minutes ago. Still slightly in shock, she began to run over to Theo, who was lying motionless on the ground, the rise and fall of his chest all that told her he was still alive. When she got to him, she knelt down on the ground and took his face in her hands and stroked his rough cheeks with her thumbs.

  “Theo, wake up. Theo, are you okay?” she repeated over and over until he slowly opened his eyes.

  “What happened?” he asked, confused.

  “There was an earthquake, your four-wheeler got thrown over,” Amanda said, not sure if he knew that his foot was pinned under the machine.

  “My ankle hurts,” he said, lifting his head, then wincing when he saw the four-wheeler. “I think we might have a problem.”

  “That’s a mild way to put it,” Amanda said, looking into his eyes, and brushing her hand over his forehead. “Does anything else hurt?”

  Theo took a deep breath and tensed his muscles, then winced. “Only my ankle.”

  “Did you hit your head?” Amanda asked, glad that she’d spent all that time in Homestead with Heather studying first aid.

  “No, I don’t think so,” Theo said, feeling around his scalp.

  Amanda sat back. Other than his pinned ankle, Theo seemed to be fine. Looking at the four-wheeler though, she began to panic, there was no way that she alone could lift it, it had to weigh hundreds if not thousands of pounds. But she knew that she had to get it off his ankle and fast, the longer it was crushed under the four-wheeler the more dangerous the situation became. As it was right now they’d be lucky if it was only broken and not crushed, but the only way to find out was to get Theo free.

  As if he’d been reading her mind, he said, “We have to get this thing off me. I can’t feel my foot.”

  Amanda looked at him, not sure how she was going to accomplish that when she remembered one of the lessons she’d learned in the village. Walking around the four-wheeler she assessed the situation and knew exactly how she was going to do it. “I’ll be right back,” she said, heading for the woods.

  “Where are you going?” Theo said, a little panic in his voice.

  “I just need a long branch and I think I can get that off you,” she said, pointing to the four-wheeler.

  “But how?” Theo asked, but Amanda was already gone.

  When she came back she took the stick and wedged it under the four-wheeler, then balanced on a rock. “When I push down the four-wheeler should come up. But you’ve got to pull yourself out. I won’t be able to get it very far up and not for very long, so be sure you’re ready,” she said, positioning herself at the end of the stick, ready to push down.

  Theo looked at her shocked. “You can’t lift that, you’ll hurt yourself and the baby,” Theo said. “There has to be another way.”

  “This will work, and I’ll be fine. Trust me,” Amanda said, then before he could argue, she began to count down. “Three, two, one. Go!” Then she pushed down on the branch.

  The four-wheeler lifted off the ground just enough that Theo could pull himself out, only getting a few feet before it came crashing down again. Amanda was panting and her arms were trembling a little, but it was nothing compared to the pain Theo was suddenly in as the circulation returned to his foot. Clutching his leg just above the ankle, he clenched his teeth, trying not to scream as the blood pumped into his foot. He was sure that he could feel it swelling, his boot getting tighter, before the world went grey than black and he fell back onto the ground.

  When he opened his eyes again, Amanda was kneeling beside him rummaging through a first-aid kit. She turned when he groaned. “Oh, thank god. Are you okay? Sorry that was a stupid question.” She was so rattled she couldn’t make her mouth stop.

  Theo grabbed her arm. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m okay. Take a deep breath,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

  His face was white with pain, his breath coming in short gasps, and Amanda was suddenly afraid he’d go into shock. “Theo, look at me,” she said, taking his face in her hands. “I need you take some deep breaths. I know it hurts, but you’re going to pass out again if you don’t.”

  Amanda took several long deep breaths, relieved when Theo began to do the same. With each breath the throbbing in his ankle began to lessen, and after only a few minutes, he was able to breath normally. “That’s better,” he said, letting out one long breath. “It still hurts, but it’s not throbbing like it was before.”

  Amanda began rummaging in the first-aid kit, finally found what she was looking for and turned back to Theo a white packet in her hand. “Your blood pressure was going up, that made your ankle hurt, then your blood pressure went up some more,” she said, handing him four pills. “There isn’t anything stronger than over-the-counter pain relievers, but take these. They should help a little.”

  When she was sure that he’d swallowed the pills, she looked at her watch, it would take at least ten minutes for them to take effect. In the meantime, she knew that she’d need some supplies. Just looking at his ankle, even with his boot on, she could see that it was probably broken, the only question was how broken. Taking a few deep breaths herself, she cleared her mind and tried to remember what she needed to do, relieved when she remembered the role play she’d done in class.

  “Okay, the first thing I have to do is check and make sure that the bone hasn’t punctured the skin. I don’t know if we should take the boot off or not, we’ll have to see what happens when I loosen the laces,” she said, trying to sound calm. “It’s going to hurt a lot to take it off, but... well, let’s just wait and see.”

  “Do what you can, but, Amanda, there’s no way I can walk on this,” Theo said, suddenly realizing that they were stranded miles from either the village or Homestead. “How did your four-wheeler fare in the quake, can we ride it?”

  “I don’t know, but unless you let me take care of that ankle, it’s going to get worse,” Amanda said, wanting to deal with one crisis at a time.

  Theo knew she was right, he’d just been trying to avoid thinking about the pain that was sure to come. “You’re going to stabilize it, aren’t you?” he asked, wishing she’d answer no.

  “I have to, but I’ll try to be careful,” she said, getting up and coming back with a long stick, which she broke into two pieces. “I’m going to use the laces from your boots to hold this in place.”

  Theo nodded. Amanda seemed to know what she was doing, so he laid back on the ground. Amanda took off her jacket and rolled it up, wedged it under his head, then looked at her watch. “Those pills should have started to help, I’m going to get started. I’m sorry but this might hurt, don’t worry if you feel like you’re going to pass out, just let it happen, don’t fight it,” she said, kissing Theo on the forehead. “I won’t think that you’re a wimp.”

  Theo didn’t think that he’d pass out even though he’d already done it once, but as Amanda slowly began to unlace his boots and more blood rushed to his ankle and foot, it began to throb more painfully than before. When she stuck her finger inside his boot and began poking around, the pain doubled, until his head swam. Amanda, seeing that he was close to passing out, tried to think of a way to distract him, a way to get his mind off the pain.

  “Theo, think of someplace you’d like to be right now. The beach, Europe, something like that. It will help with the pain,” she said, not daring to look at his face.

  “How about a hospital? Can I think about being in a hospital right now?” Theo said, and tried to smile, but grimaced instead.

  “I’m almost done. Okay, if that doesn’t work, how about telling me a story?” Amanda couldn’t feel any blood on Theo’s sock, but could feel how swollen his ankle already was. “I’d like to remove this boot, but I’m afraid I’ll do more damage than good.”

  “Right now, I wouldn’t care if you cut the whole foot off and I can�
��t tell you a story, I’m not a storyteller,” Theo said, finding that the distraction was helping, that and the fact that Amanda had stopped probing his ankle with her fingers.

  Amanda was only half listening to him, concentrating more on how she was going to bind his ankle than his words, aware from the tone of his voice that the pain wasn’t as bad as it had been. “Well, then why don’t you tell me why a great guy like you had to go to a surrogate to have a family?” Amanda asked, then looked up at him when she realized what she’d just asked.

  Theo only stared at her. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I meant to say,” Amanda quickly said, then began to gather her supplies for the splint, unable to meet his eyes again.

  When she finally looked up, he said, “I could ask you almost the same question, Amanda. How is it that someone as wonderful as you are hasn’t been snapped up by some smart man?”

  Amanda couldn’t answer that right then, wasn’t sure exactly what the answer was, although she knew that her reluctance to have kids was part of the reason she was alone. “I’m going to put on the splint now, it’s going to hurt a bit, so get ready.”

  “Amanda, wait a second,” Theo said, taking her hand in his. “When you’re done, I’m going to answer that question, but I want you to answer mine,” he said, searching her eyes.

  She looked down, too afraid that her feelings would show in her eyes. “Okay.”

  By the time Amanda had his ankle splinted, he was in so much pain again that the discussion had slipped his mind. Amanda was happy to let the matter rest, the last thing she wanted to do was tell Theo about her pathetic love life, if you could even call her few attempts at relationships over the years a love life. Hopefully, he’d forget about it completely and she could pretend that she’d never asked, that she didn’t wonder every day why he wasn’t with someone far more wonderful than her.

  When the pain finally allowed him to talk, he said, “I hope you’re done with me. I don’t think I can take any more.”