Midnight Dolls

by Kiki Sullivan

  Peregrine and Chloe catch up with me after fourth period and ask me if I want to join them at Cristof’s Salon for a little makeover.

  “Now?” I ask them.

  Peregrine shrugs. “Who cares about the rest of the school day? We’ll cast a charm so that our teachers think we’re here.”

  “No, I meant now. In the midst of everything, pampering’s your priority?”

  Chloe looks uneasy. “Look, I know what you’re saying, Eveny. But the ceremony last night worked. Our mothers went out to the gate early this morning, and they verified that the protection has been restored. We’re safe.”

  I stare at her. “Are you crazy? What about Mrs. Potter? What if there are others, like my father’s sosyete told us? They could attack at any time!”

  Peregrine makes a face. “Our protectors are well aware, Eveny. No one’s getting past them now. And our mothers are working on a charm to identify people who are betraying us before they strike. It’s all under control.” She pauses. “Now, are you going to come with us or not? No offense, but you look like roadkill.”

  I give her a look. “Thanks for the compliment, but I’m going to decline. You two enjoy.”

  They totter off on their sky-high heels and I sigh. It’s hard to imagine that they’re supposed to be responsible for protecting this town too. But at least the news from their mothers makes me feel a bit better.

  I head into the caf and glance up toward the Hickories, but Caleb isn’t up there yet; it’s just Pascal. Since I have no particular desire to get hit on for the next hour, I decide to sit with Liv, Max, and Justin instead. I’m glad that Liv trusts me again, and I could use an easy lunch hour of watching Max and Justin flirt; the way they are with each other reminds me that it’s still possible to be normal. Maybe one day, when we’ve figured out how to defeat Main de Lumière, I can have a normal relationship too.

  I run into Bram as I get in the caf line. “I thought you ate a catered lunch up there,” he says, nodding toward the Hickories with a smile.

  Every nerve in my body is suddenly on edge. Standing so close to him makes me think of the way I could hear inside his head, the way it felt so perfect when he kissed me. “The girls aren’t here this afternoon,” I manage to say. “They went to the salon.”

  “The salon? Now?”

  “I know.” I feel annoyed and embarrassed to be associated with them, but at the same time, I find myself holding back on saying anything further.

  “Just as well.” A small smile plays across Bram’s lips. “I don’t think Peregrine would let me sit up there if she knew how I feel about you.”

  I can feel myself blushing. “How you feel about me?”

  “You heard what was inside my mind, Eveny. But I’ll say it out loud this time: I think you’re extraordinary. You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and you have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. The way you care about people, well, I can only hope that one day I’m lucky enough to have you care about me.”

  I can feel my cheeks turning warm. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, not even Caleb in the whispered moments when our defenses were down. The truth is, I can’t ignore the pull I feel to Bram. But I’m not ready to leave Caleb behind. Not when he’s so willing to lay his life down for me. So I clear my throat and say brusquely, “Thanks. Anyway, um, I’m going to eat with Liv, Max, and Justin today.”

  He looks unshaken by my lack of reaction. “Mind if I join you?”

  “Um . . .”

  His smile widens. “I’ll take that as a yes unless you say otherwise.”

  An awkward silence descends over us as the line inches forward. Five minutes later, we’ve both ordered giant muffuletta sandwiches—a regional specialty of cold cuts piled high and topped with marinated olives—and we’re headed toward Liv’s table in the middle of the caf.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks, looking up at me in surprise and then blinking at Bram.

  “Is it okay if we eat with you?” I ask, ignoring her question.

  “Of course.” Her eyes dart to the Hickories. “I guess Chloe and Peregrine and their minions have left for the day? We’re plan B?”

  I open my mouth to reply, but she nudges me and says, “Kidding. It’s fine. But who’s this?”

  I’m surprised to realize that she and the guys haven’t met Bram yet. “This is Bram. He’s new in town.”

  “He’s cute!” Liv whispers once I’ve slid onto the cafeteria bench beside her. I can feel my cheeks heating up as Bram settles in on my other side.

  “I guess,” I whisper back, which makes Liv raise an eyebrow knowingly.

  Bram strikes up a conversation with Max and Justin about freshwater fishing versus saltwater fishing as we all dig into our lunches.

  “You’re still thinking about Caleb, aren’t you?” Liv asks as she takes a bite of the peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich she’s brought from home.

  “Hard not to,” I say before I can stop myself. “Considering he lives in my house.”

  “Wait, what?” Liv’s eyes practically pop out of her head. “I’m sorry, but I swear you just said Caleb Shaw is living in your house.”

  I hesitate and try to come up with a lie that sounds plausible. “His mom’s an old family friend. He needed a place to go, and my dad gave him a spare room. No big deal.”

  Liv stares at me and then shakes her head. “You have the most bizarre life of anyone I know.”

  “You have no idea.”

  “Okay,” she says after a pause. “Well, is he being any less weird with you?”

  “He’s being even weirder, actually.”

  “Then for the thousandth time, Eveny, you’ve got to move on!”

  We both glance over at Bram, who’s animatedly explaining something to the guys about casting a fishing line. When I look back at Liv, she’s grinning at me.

  “Eveny, maybe Bram being here is some kind of a sign, you know?” She pauses and I force a smile. “Ask him out,” she says. “Why not?”

  I sigh and glance sidelong at Bram. “Look, I can’t,” I whisper, turning back to her. “I know this doesn’t make any sense to you, but Bram just isn’t . . .” I pause, trying to think how I can explain it. “Bram isn’t the direction I want my life to go in right now.”

  “Not this again, Eveny. Fate and all that crap? Just live a little. I mean, look what happened with Drew. He died, Eveny. He died right when I was finally getting to know him.”

  I look away. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s not like it was your fault,” she says, which makes me feel even worse. “But what I’m saying is, you never know what’s going to happen. Life is short. And I think it’s too valuable to waste on a guy who doesn’t like you back.”

  I take a deep breath. “Look, you don’t know how Caleb feels.”

  She doesn’t quite meet my eye. “I saw him with someone else, Eveny.”

  She blurts the words out so quickly that I’m sure I’ve misheard her. “Wait, what?”

  “I saw Caleb with someone,” she says again. “Another girl. I’m sorry, but you should know.”

  I can feel color rising to my cheeks. “I’m sure it was just a friend.”

  “Do you hold hands with your friends?”

  I blink at her a few times. “Caleb was holding hands with a girl?” My first instinct is to believe there’s some mistake, but he’d warned me, hadn’t he? I just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. “When?”

  “Yesterday.”

  I feel sick. “Who was it?”

  “I’d never seen her before; maybe she goes to Carrefour Secondary. But they looked pretty close, if you know what I mean.”

  “Now you’re just trying to hurt me,” I say.

  “No. I just want you to take this seriously. You’re hanging on to some guy who gave you a tiny bit of attention forever ago and made you feel special. But he’s moved on, Eveny. You should too.” She looks over at Bram and gets a mischievous look on her face. “Hey, Bram?” s
he says, ignoring the death stare I’m giving her. “Eveny and I have a quick question for you.”

  “What’s up?” he asks, smiling at me, then focusing on Liv.

  “Just a hypothetical here,” she says. “But imagine you were Eveny, and imagine that the person you liked was dating someone else.”

  “Okay,” he says, looking at me.

  “Wouldn’t you move on too?” Liv says. “To, for example, someone who actually had the potential to be interested in you?”

  “Of course,” he replies instantly. “A person would be nuts not to.”

  He smiles at me. I can feel myself blushing furiously.

  “Well, there you have it,” Liv says. “It’s unanimous.” Looking amused, she turns to say something to Max.

  “What was that all about?” Bram asks, leaning in.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I say. But as his arm brushes mine, I can feel my body temperature rising again.

  I can’t stop thinking about Caleb holding hands with some other girl, so I do my best to ignore him in fifth period, and I make a big point of talking to Bram and choosing him as a study partner when we’re asked to pair off. I can feel Caleb looking at me, but I don’t give in to the temptation to turn around.

  On the way out of class, he catches up with me in the hall. “Did I do something to piss you off?” he asks.

  “Nope! I’m fine.”

  He touches my arm lightly. “Is this about the ceremony? Because if I did something—”

  “No,” I cut him off. “It’s not about that. I’m fine.” I hurry away before he can say anything else.

  After school, I’ve just started walking home when Caleb pulls up beside me. “Need a ride?” he asks.

  “Nope,” I say without turning.

  “Eveny . . .” His voice trails off. “Would you just get in?”

  I stop walking and consider my options for a second. I’d love to maintain some pride, but the afternoon is hot and humid, and Caleb’s air-conditioned Jeep is tempting. I sigh and open the passenger-side door.

  “What’s wrong?” Caleb asks after I’ve buckled my seat belt.

  “Just drive.”

  He studies me for a moment and puts the car back in gear. We ride in silence for a few minutes before I blurt out, “So you were out with some girl? Holding hands?” I hate how jealous I sound.

  He looks startled. “Where did you hear that?”

  “It doesn’t matter. Is it true?”

  He doesn’t say anything for a minute. “I went out to dinner last night. Before the ceremony.”

  “With who?”

  “You don’t know her. She goes to Carrefour Secondary.”

  I flinch. “So it was like a date?”

  He hesitates. “Yeah.”

  I’m unprepared for how much the admission hurts, and I’m not sure how to speak past the lump in my throat. Finally I manage, “I can’t believe you’re dating other people already. After what happened the other night in my room . . .”

  He sighs. “Eveny, I don’t want to hurt you. But it’s time we both move on. I—I’m trying to do that. I don’t have a choice. It’s the only way for me to get over you.”

  The words sink in. “Who says you have to get over me?”

  He laughs bitterly. “You know the answer to that,” he says. “And you know it’s the right thing.”

  I squeeze my eyes closed for a second and press my temples. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation again. “Caleb, I thought we’d been over this.”

  “Besides, your dad told me about Bram,” he says after a moment.

  My heart stops. “What about Bram?”

  “About you kissing him. Apparently your grandfather saw you.”

  I open my mouth to defend myself, but it’s not like I can deny it. I feel humiliated, and I’m suddenly furious with my father. “It didn’t mean anything,” I whisper, although I’m not sure that’s true.

  “Look, I’m not mad,” Caleb says. “If you hadn’t done that, well, I’d probably still be sitting here agonizing over what to do about you. So in a way, I owe you. You made me realize that this is really over, okay? Your dad’s right. You and I, we’re bad for each other. So go out with Bram. He’s a nice guy, and life with him will be a whole hell of a lot less complicated than life with me.”

  “No,” I say. “I don’t want a life with him.”

  “Well,” Caleb replies as he pulls into my driveway, “I can’t control what you do with Bram. But it’s time for me to move on. I know that now. And I think deep down you do too.”

  He cuts the ignition and gets out of the car without another word. By the time I get ahold of myself and make it inside, he’s long gone.

  My grandfather finds me a little while later in the parlor, my head in my hands.

  “Anything you want to talk about?” he asks, sitting down beside me and putting his hand on my back. I can feel him trembling, and I’m reminded of how sick he is.

  “Don’t worry about it,” I say, feeling guilty because after all, my problems pale in comparison to his. I feel foolish worrying about boys when he’s facing a slow death. “It’s not a big deal.”

  We sit in silence for a while, then he takes his hand off my back and reaches for a smooth, oval-shaped crystal that hangs from a chain against his chest, beneath his shirt. He pulls it out and holds it up to catch the light. “Have you seen one of these before, Eveny?”

  I stare at it. “No. What is it?”

  He smiles slightly. “It’s my Mind’s Eye. It acts like a crystal ball in a way, but it shows only the past, not the future. And it can only project events that the bearer has witnessed or taken part in. It brings them back with complete clarity. Here, take a look.”

  I look at him in confusion, then I peer in. He closes his eyes, and to my surprise, an image begins to play across the crystal, as clear as a television show on a high-definition TV. My breath catches in my throat as I realize what I’m seeing: it’s my mother, years ago, walking across our rose garden toward my father. She’s in a flowing white gown with a veil covering her long, red hair, and he’s in a gray suit, with a rose in his lapel. I realize with a start that it’s their wedding day.

  “You went to my parents’ wedding?” I ask in confusion. “I thought you were against their marriage.”

  “Is that what your father told you?” He sighs. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes over the years, Eveny. But it’s important that you know I never disliked your mother personally. I just disapproved of the decisions your parents made. I used to believe that tradition should come before all else, and that your parents were making a mistake. But how could I miss the wedding of my only son?”

  I watch, transfixed, as my parents exchange vows, promising their futures to each other while Aunt Bea, Peregrine’s mother, Chloe’s mother, and a handful of others look on. As the ceremony ends and they kiss, I realize I’m crying, but I wipe the tears away quickly and watch as the wedding guests turn and follow my parents. My grandfather seems to have paused in the garden for a few minutes to gaze around, and when he finally enters the house and approaches my parents, they’re deep in conversation with each other, holding hands and looking into each other’s eyes.

  You have to promise me, my mother is saying to my father as my grandfather joins them, that if we have a child together, you’ll do everything you can to protect her, even if it means putting the future of both andaba and zandara at risk. You and I both know that there’s more to the world than magic. There’s family, and there’s love. I need to know that for you, those things will always come first, as they will for me.

  I promise, Sandrine, my father says, leaning in to kiss her gently. On the grave of my mother, I swear it. They both turn and smile at my grandfather, and for a second, my heart skips. It looks like they’re smiling right at me through the glass. And then, suddenly, the image is gone.

  I gasp as my grandfather pulls the Mind’s Eye away and slips it back under his shirt. I want to reach for it, beg
to be shown more, but he’s already moving on.

  “You see, Eveny, your parents went against tradition. They chose love. It wasn’t what they were supposed to do or what those in power would have liked them to do, but ultimately, they charted their own course.”

  I blink back tears. “So what are you saying?”

  “That the doors that seem closed to you today may not always be closed. That you have to fight for what you believe in.”

  “But how?” I ask. “Everyone keeps insisting that everything is already laid out for me.”

  “And maybe it would be if you were only a Queen of Carrefour. But you’re not. You’re a Queen of Caouanne Island too, and maybe that changes everything. Have you ever stopped to consider that the feelings you’re having for Caleb have something to do with that?”

  “How do you know what I feel for Caleb?”

  He smiles slightly. “Eveny, it’s plain just from looking at you, from seeing the two of you together.”

  I can feel myself blushing. “Okay, but you’re saying that maybe my andaba side is somehow influencing my feelings?”

  “No. I’m saying that perhaps the two sides of you are canceling all of the rules out. I’m saying that you need to learn to listen to your own heart. I’m saying that the only thing that’s true is how you feel.”

  I look at him. “I would have thought you’d be trying to persuade me to forget Caleb and go out with Bram. You know, secure the future of andaba.”

  I’m surprised when he chuckles. “Eveny, I’m an old man. And one thing I’ve learned over the years—a lesson my own son taught me—is that in life, sometimes all you can do is sit back and let nature take its course.” He pauses and studies me. “Do you feel something for Bram too?”

  I hesitate and consider dodging the question, because, after all, it’s a little weird talking to my grandfather about my love life. But oddly, he seems to be the only person who understands. And I’m realizing he’s a different man than my father described. Maybe that means he’s changed. He seems to believe, as no one else around me does, that I have the right to make my own choices. And that’s what makes me speak the truth now.

  “Yes,” I whisper. “But it’s strange, because I’ve felt all . . . fluttery around him since the first time I saw him. Almost like . . .” I pause. “Almost like I already had feelings for him before we’d even met. That sounds crazy, right?”