Progress (The Progress Series)

by Queau, Amy

  “Do you know what the usual bail is for this…situation?”

  “It usually depends on priors. If it’s his first offense, it will likely be five hundred.”

  Charlie raked her hand through her hair and sighed. “Thank you for your help.” She scratched her forehead and walked out. On her way to the car, she ran into Lily.

  “Charlie! Is he in there?”

  “Yes, Lily, he is. He’ll survive. I think he needs…money. I’m going to try to scrape together his bail, but I can’t promise anything.” She faked a smile and looked at Lily for a split second.

  “Thank you, Charlie. If I could afford--”

  “It’s fine Lily. We’ll figure it out. They won’t let anyone see him now. He’s going to be transferred to Hastings by morning; they must still be asking him questions about what happened.”

  Lily gave Charlie a hug and she started walking toward her car. Just as she approached it, she remembered. “Oh Lily! I wanted to say thanks for the sunflower!” she turned and shouted. Almost to her car, Lily faced her.

  “What sunflower?” she asked, puzzled.

  Oh.

  “Never mind. I’ll see you soon.” Charlie waved and got in the car.

  Dear Journal,

  AHH! Jesse is so frustrating! He makes me feel so insignificant one minute, and the next, I’m the only other person in the world. I’ll never understand.

  I went to the library and did some research on manic-depression. Things are starting to make a little more sense, but I don’t want to assume anything about him until he tells me. According to some of the stuff I read, bipolar people have very intriguing minds. Extreme highs and lows, erratic behavior, overblown self-esteem at times… all very interesting. It doesn’t make me want to back off, it only makes me want to crawl inside his head and tell him everything is going to be okay.

  I don’t pretend to like his music if I don’t. And I don’t pretend to be interested in his bike stuff if I’m not. I just enjoy watching his passion for them. He gets so excited and worked up that I fall into a trance where I can feel what he feels. It’s almost as though I get a surge of energy with him.

  But we’re still just friends. Fuck. How many times can this happen to a girl in a lifetime? At this point, I swear he just keeps me around because I make him feel attractive and interesting.

  Oh! I feel I should mention… I have now lost almost fifty pounds! I had to look twice at the scale this morning. It’s only been about five months since I started at The Crimson. I still have a long way to go, but this is a really good start. I hear the last twenty are the hardest. It hasn’t been as difficult as I thought it would be. As long as I watch my diet and keep moving, I hardly think about it. I suppose Jess has been a nice distraction, and motivator. But, I feel pretty amazing, actually.

  Chapter Eleven

  Charlie didn’t have much time. It was evening already and she hadn’t asked her parents for the money. They were his only hope. She had to finish packing and leave the next day.

  Should I forego my weekend with the girls and use the money I’ve saved to bail him out? No. Hell no.

  Charlie ran upstairs and found her parents watching Wheel of Fortune.

  “Hey Dad, I have a silly question.”

  “What?” her dad asked softly.

  “Do you have an extra five hundred dollars lying around that I could use to bail my friend out of jail?” Charlie asked bluntly, flashing her teeth in an exaggerated smile. Honesty was the best policy.

  “Seriously? Who’s in jail?” He suddenly looked concerned.

  “Jess.”

  Charlie’s dad rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. “What’s he in there for?” he asked, not concerned anymore.

  “Fighting,” she said matter-of-factly.

  “Then, no,” he said.

  She nodded and tugged at her lip. “Okay. Thanks anyway.” I tried.

  “Oh for Pete’s sake, Charlie! What the hell do I look like? A bank?”

  “No, Dad! I don’t expect you--” she started.

  “My wallet is on my dresser. Go get my cash card. You can take out three hundred a day. If you hurry you can get to the bank before it closes and withdraw three hundred today and another two hundred tomorrow. He can stay a night in jail; maybe he’ll learn a lesson.”

  I doubt that.

  “Seriously Dad. You don’t have to do this. I just told him I’d try.”

  “Just do it. Tell him I want him to pay me back.”

  Charlie jumped up and gave her father a hug. “Thanks Dad. You’re the best!” she gushed.

  *

  The next morning, Charlie called Lily and told her she’d posted Jesse’s bail. She had asked to keep it anonymous, even though she knew he’d find out it was her eventually. Mentioning to Lily that she’d be out of town for the weekend, she said she’d speak to Jesse on Monday. She also asked Lily to tell Jess that she had covered for him at work. Lily thanked her over and over.

  At noon, Charlie quickly packed the rest of her things and called Karal. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. I’ll just meet you guys at the cabin. I had some stuff I had to take care of this morning.”

  “Sounds good. I’ll give you the address. Do you have a pen?”

  Charlie fetched a pen and a scrap of paper and jotted down the address.

  “Okay, Angie and I are going to leave then,” said Karal.

  “Great! I’ll be right behind you.”

  Charlie drove alone to the cabin. As the miles stretched between Charlie and her hometown, so did her thoughts about Jess. He’s home by now and sober. He’ll be fine. She cranked up the music and enjoyed the ride.

  The cabin was glorious. Charlie, Angie, and Karal arrived around two o’clock and instantly cracked open their beers.

  “Cheers!” They all clinked bottles and dug out the s’mores stuff.

  Charlie busied herself making the fire while Angie and Karal made up the beds and turned on the power to get the fridge running and the water heating.

  By six o’clock, all three of the girls were drunk and getting drunker. It was exactly what Charlie needed. It was liberating. The night moved by swiftly and before they knew it, midnight had come and gone.

  “Has anyone ordered the pizza yet?” Angie slurred.

  “Ha! How about this…I’ll pay if you go and get it!” Karal said.

  “No! Order it! Maybe the delivery driver will be cute. We can invite him to join us!” Angie said, giggling.

  Their voices carried over the lake and echoes could be heard over a mile away.

  “Hey! I just got a fantastic idea!” Angie said.

  “Aren’t your ideas always fantastic?” Charlie asked sarcastically.

  “Of course, but this one is es…espesh…shpesh. Ugh. Whatever. Eshpeshicially fantastic.”

  “Wow. Slow down. You’ll hurt yourself,” said Charlie.

  Joining Charlie in a fit of laughter, Karalee squeaked, “I think I’m gonna pee my pants!” She hopped up and giggled her way to the cabin.

  “Laugh it up.” Angie rolled her eyes.

  Charlie and Angie sat back enjoying the partitioned view of the lake and the moon hovering above them. Angie grabbed the box of graham crackers and started munching. Remembering her diet, Charlie chose to stick with her margarita.

  “Whew. So what’s this especially fantastic idea of yours?” Karal said, returning to the fire.

  “Oh! Yeah, that’s what I was talking about! We should…go skinny dipping!”

  “Oh my god, no. Seriously, all the fish in Lake Mille Lacs will float to the surface after seeing my naked body.” Charlie had fun laughing at her own expense.

  Karal and Angie rolled their eyes. In unison they both replied, “Whatever!”

  “Seriously Charlie, what have you lost now…like a hundred pounds? You are seriously hot now. Like, skinny even.”

  No one has ever used that word to describe me. Liars. I still have a lot left to lose.

  “No. Not quite a hundred ye
t,” Charlie said quietly. “But that’s the goal.”

  “Well, if I were into chicks, I’d totally get in your pants right now,” said Karal.

  “Ha! Don’t tempt me! At this point I’d probably take you up on it!” She laughed.

  “What about Jesse? Haven’t convinced him to take you yet?” Angie asked.

  Charlie glared.

  “Whoa! Wait a minute. Jesse? Not Jesse Anders? Oh Charlie, no. Not Jesse Anders,” Karalee said.

  “No. We’re not discussing him any further. This weekend is away from all that shit. Let’s just drink and…be merry.” Charlie forced a smile to her face.

  “Seriously, is something going on between you two?” Karal asked.

  Charlie wanted to respond, but Angie beat her to it.

  “Oh, please Karal! Haven’t you seen the way they are together? Haven’t you heard the rumors? It’s totally obvious that he’s in love with her. He’s like this infection she can’t get rid of. He’s always there, probing, digging in deeper, taking over, wanting more,” Angie went off on a tangent.

  Charlie’s eyes expanded and she forgot to breathe. Love.

  She began to shake and quickly lit a cigarette so that her friends couldn’t read her thoughts.

  No longer hearing anything they were discussing, Charlie picked up a stick and started to fumble with the orange embers in the fire pit. Could he really love me? No, surely not. This obsession of mine is certainly one-sided. And, even though I have lost some weight, I still wouldn’t be enough to get a guy like him. He’s perfect. Gorgeous. I wouldn’t even know what to do with a man like him if I had him. And he certainly wouldn’t have any patience with a freak like me. I’d probably start to shake if he tried to touch me. I’m a waste of a human being. A huge, worthless, disgusting human being.

  But love? What can Angie see that I can’t? I don’t even know if he likes me. He sleeps with everyone, except me. He can’t be attracted to me. Surely you have to be attracted to someone before you fall in love with them.

  “Earth.To.Charlie,” Karal said.

  “Huh?” Charlie turned toward the words as she was yanked from her thoughts.

  “Seriously, just tell me you’ll be careful with all that. He’s been known to break a heart or two around that place.”

  “Why is everyone warning me about him? I’m the one who knows him! Everyone assumes he’s going to break my heart. He’ll never fuck me, can’t you see that? He only has sex with short, skinny brunettes. I’m a tall, fat, ugly redhead! Breaking my heart isn’t even possible.” After taking her stick and snapping it into the fire, she stood up and walked into the cabin.

  Still reeling, she hopped into the shower and attempted to sober up before bed. After donning fresh pajamas, she walked through the living room on her way to the stairs with a towel wrapped around her head.

  Both Angie and Karal were curled up in their pajamas and in front of the TV. Angie was asleep, but Karal saw Charlie trying to creep by and shouted, “Oh no! You’re not getting off that easily! Get your ass over here!”

  “I’m really tired. I’m sorry I snapped at you. Everything with him is, just so…unfavorable. And I’m so sick of being the girl that they’re all ‘friends’ with.” Charlie wanted to continue, but her head was starting to ache and her mouth was dry. “I promise I’ll explain it all in the morning, but I really just want to go to bed.”

  “That’s fine. We’ll chat more in the a.m.,” Karal said. “Besides, Angie is passed out and I know she wanted to be a part of this conversation, too. We just love you and want to make sure you don’t really think you’re fat. Seriously Charlie. You’re really thin. I wouldn’t say that you’d need to lose another pound. You look…you look so pretty,” Karal said with an authentic smile.

  “It’s amazing what a girdle can do.” Charlie shook her head. “I can’t blame anyone but myself. Never mind. Jesse is just someone who will never be interested in me like that. Even if he was, I’d never let him see me naked.”

  Karalee shook her head. “Looks aren’t everything, Charlie.”

  Ouch. That didn’t help.

  “Good night.” Charlie displayed a wry face as she walked upstairs to her tiny twin bed.

  *

  The next morning, Charlie woke with a headache. She went straight to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge. Lifting her head over the door at the sound of moaning, she saw Angie rising from the couch, bent over and running to the bathroom.

  Wow. I thought I had it bad. Charlie grinned. She walked outside to the smoking fire pit and sat down on the tree stump to have a cigarette.

  The lake was calm. She hadn’t noticed it the day before, but Karal’s family cabin had five hundred feet of beach camouflaged behind the line of trees. She tried to peek between two birch trees to get a better look, but decided to just walk out to the dock.

  There were both a large covered pontoon and small silver fishing boat floating atop the water. For years the beach had been untouched; thousands of small shells had washed ashore, and all she could see along the shore was a long strip of perfectly bronzed sand. The lake was higher than usual and half of the beach was underwater. But it didn’t matter, because as far as she could see, there couldn’t be more than three feet of water atop a mile-long sandbar. Heaven. She breathed in and out, and closed her eyes in order for the morning sun to beat lightly on her face. The soft breeze made her feel like she was on a tropical island. Glancing into the water, she saw several schools of minnows darting through the ripples.

  “You’re not gonna jump in, are you?” Karal smirked behind her.

  “Thinkin’ about it!” Charlie beamed. “It’s so beautiful here. How do you ever leave?”

  “Have you seen winters up here? Half this town is only populated in the summer and fall.”

  “I’m sure winters have their place in all this, too. I can imagine how beautiful the fresh snow looks in February.” Charlie sat and lit another cigarette.

  “You sure smoke a lot,” Karal sighed, changing the subject.

  “How do you think I lost fifty pounds?” Charlie lifted an eyebrow and giggled. “I know, I know. I’ll quit when I get pregnant.”

  “Pregnant?”

  “I’m sure it will happen someday.”

  Karal smiled.

  “Look, I’m not going to press you about Jesse. But I’m here if you want to talk about it. I won’t judge you. I promise.” Karal put her arm around Charlie and rested her head on her shoulder.

  Charlie smiled and tilted her head toward Karal’s. They enjoyed the sunrise in silence.

  *

  The afternoon had been spent napping in the sun, sipping margaritas, and dangling their feet off the dock. It was dark now, after nine o’clock. The beer continued to flow, the s’mores continued to flame, and the three of them chatted the night away as the crickets and small animals were buzzing with life. Charlie kept staring at a large spiderweb that was catching the moonlight in a way that made the gathering dew sparkle. She couldn’t stop from gazing at it every so often.

  “Truth or Dare!” Angie yelled.

  “Oh, man.” Charlie rolled her eyes.

  I keep forgetting how young Angie is.

  “I haven’t played that in years! Okay. I’ll go first! Truth!” Karal said.

  “Truth. If you could go back in time and eliminate one lover, who would it be and why?” Angie asked.

  “Oh, easy. Jared. He was horrible at everything! I totally felt like it was a chore every time we fooled around. Horrifying.” Karal shuddered.

  Angie and Charlie started laughing.

  “Okay, Charlie, truth or dare?”

  “Ugh. Dare?” Charlie flinched at her own response.

  Angie snickered and lifted her eyebrow. “Take all of your clothes off and jump in the water.”

  Is she serious? Oh my. She is serious.

  Charlie bit her bottom lip and glared at Angie for about thirty seconds.

  “Dude, you totally chose dare
,” Angie said.

  “Fine.” Charlie stood up and looked at the fire as she started taking off her shirt. As she slipped off her tee, it exposed her white satin bra. Walking toward the beach, she stopped halfway there to take off her jeans and stripping her lacy thong along with them.

  “You go girl!” Angie shouted behind her.

  Charlie kept in stride but lifted her middle finger to the moon so that Angie could read it. Putting one foot into the lake, she heard Karal and Angie giggle.

  She unhooked her bra and threw it on the beach just as she lowered herself into the water. She was almost on her belly it was so shallow, but she didn’t want to remain nude in the moonlight, so she got as deep as she could and sat in two and a half feet of Lake Mille Lacs.

  The stars are so beautiful tonight. I think I can see every single one of them.

  I’m drunk.

  In a lake.

  Naked.

  Smart. Really smart. Get your ass back to the fire.

  As Charlie walked back, she gathered up her bra, jeans, panties, and T-shirt and thought it was peculiar she couldn’t hear the girls talking anymore. Karal handed her a towel when she got near the fire and Charlie noticed Angie’s absence.

  “Where’s Ang?” Charlie asked.

  “She had to pee.”

  “Ah.”

  “How’s the water?”

  “Surprisingly warm,” Charlie said.

  “Oooo. I might have to go for a swim!”

  Charlie was slipping on her bra when she heard Angie’s footsteps. “Um, Charlie! Oh, Charlie!”

  Charlie turned to Angie’s voice, but couldn’t see her yet. The glare from the fire was too harsh and Angie was still back towards the cabin.

  “You better be naked or in your swimsuit, ‘cause I’m dragging your ass to the lake and throwing you in!” Charlie said, letting out a chuckle and trying to slip on her jeans as quickly as she could.

  “Put your shirt on Charlie, you’ve got company,” Angie said.

  Charlie struggled to pull her shirt around her neck and giggled. “Did you pick up the pizza delivery guy? ‘Cause I’m feeling a little vagarious!” Charlie laughed at the word she chose.