Beautiful Disaster

by Rye Hart

  She nodded, unable to speak. Part of me was still angry with her for being so absent but I knew this was hard for her. She truly was doing her best. I gripped her hand in mine and squeezed it. Her eyes found my face and she smiled weakly, tears dripping down her cheeks.

  We sat there, holding hands and silently comforting each other, until Mrs. Michaelson made a noise at the back of her throat. It was somewhere between a scoff and a hiss and it claimed everyone’s attention. All eyes were on her but she was glaring at my mother with open contempt.

  “Teresa,” Mrs. Michaelson said. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

  “My son is in surgery,” Mom said simply.

  “I’m aware,” Mrs. Michaelson spat. “As is my daughter. I’m simply surprised you were able to drag yourself away from the bar long enough to show up.”

  My mom winced and opened her mouth to retaliate but she didn’t have to. Mr. Michaelson leaned over and whispered something in his wife’s ear. She glared at him with anger and hissed back. I couldn’t hear her words but there was venom in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry for everything I put you through,” my mother said, her voice loud and carrying. “I know I never said that but I am. But Penelope, now is not the time for this,” she said, for once, being the voice of reason.

  Mrs. Michaelson’s face fell. All the anger faded from her eyes and in its place, was a deep-seated pain. In that moment, I suddenly understood the complicated history between my mother and Caroline’s parents. Her parents didn’t try to keep us apart because they thought me to be beneath them, they just didn’t want to relive a painful time in their lives. I couldn’t blame them for that.

  “I’m going to get coffee,” Mrs. Michaelson said weakly.

  “There’s a stand just around the corner,” Stephanie said.

  “No,” Mrs. Michaelson said, shaking her head. “I don’t drink hospital coffee. I’ll be back.”

  With that, she left the hospital and didn’t return. I understood her pain. Being around my mother, even all these years later, couldn’t have been easy. I wondered how Mom and Mr. Michaelson were able to do it, and then I saw them lock eyes.

  My mother’s eyes found his and she softened. He stood up and motioned for her to join him. They walked a few feet away, stopping at the end of the hallway and whispering. I couldn’t hear their conversation and I wasn’t sure I wanted to but from what I could see, they cared deeply for each other.

  With a frown, I watched them closely, trying to discern what they were saying. Stephanie sat beside him, watching them just as closely. We were both riveted, unable to look away. They talked for a long time, both whispering and occasionally wiping away a tear. I was curious to know what happened between them all those years ago, but I knew I would never ask.

  My mother had been through a lot in her life. She’d raised two boys and suffered through a debilitating addiction that she had yet to overcome. In so many ways, I hated her. But, as I watched her interact with Caroline’s dad, my hatred faded to something different. Something softer. Understanding and acceptance.

  I would never know the full story of their romance, but in that moment, I realized their affair wasn’t just about sex. It was obvious in the way they looked at each other that their feelings were real. They loved each other once and I wondered if part of them still did.

  I watched them until they finally stopped talking and returned to the waiting room. This time, they didn’t sit apart. My mother fell into the seat beside me and Mr. Michaelson sat right beside her. I was confused but I knew now wasn’t the time to ask questions.

  My mind quickly turned back to thoughts of Caroline and Daniel as we waited for news. It was an hour before anyone came out to talk to us and when they did, they simply said things were progressing smoothly. My nerves were still on edge and my heart never stopped pounding.

  Stephanie tried to get everyone to eat but we were all too scared to think about food. Caroline’s dad never left but her mother never returned. I wondered about her a few times, trying to figure out where she would’ve gone and why. Was her hatred for my mother really strong enough to prevent her from being there for her daughter?

  Finally, hours later, Caroline got out of surgery. The doctor told us everything had gone according to plan for her and she was stable and in recovery. We wouldn’t be able to see her for a while yet. Mr. Michaelson breathed a sigh of relief but I couldn’t yet. My heart was only half relieved. Daniel’s surgery was still underway and I wouldn’t relax until he was safe.

  My mother gripped my hand as we continued to wait. I turned to face her, wanting to say something that might comfort us both but nothing worked. There weren’t words to describe the fear we felt and when the doctor finally came back out, we both jumped to our feet.

  His eyes floated from my face to Mom’s and then back again. We held our breath and waited for the news.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - CAROLINE

  My mouth was dry as I slowly came to. My head felt heavy and my limbs were weak. I couldn’t open my eyes or speak but I could hear people moving around me. My throat ached from where they put in a tube and as I laid there, unable to move, I began to panic. Was I safe? Did something happen during surgery? Was I okay? Was Daniel?

  My thoughts ran wild through my mind, the panic settling in my chest. I told myself to breathe slowly, focusing entirely on the air moving through my nose. My chest rose with the effort and then fell. While I calmed down, I began to recognize the voices I heard around me.

  Just as I knew he would be, Dean was there. I could hear his deep, gentle voice coming from my right and when I listened harder, Stephanie’s high-pitched laughter rang out through the room. I smiled to myself, not sure if it reached my lips. As I listened, I could make out another voice. It was softer, less coherent and it took me a few seconds to place it. When I did, I was surprised to hear my dad.

  The sound of his voice made my stomach clench and my heart swell. I was happy he was there. Despite our issues and the problems we’d faced, I was still glad to find him there when I awoke from surgery. The only voice I didn’t hear was my mother’s. I listened closely, trying to decipher if she was in the room but I couldn’t.

  I tried to force my eyes open but the effort was too great. I quickly grew frustrated. My body felt fine. My fingers and toes were regaining some feeling and the only complaint I had was the soreness of my throat. I even tried to see if my incision sight was painful but I didn’t feel anything at all. Groaning slightly, I finally found my voice.

  My eyes remained closed but I worked through the knot in my throat, groaning and coughing roughly.

  In an instant, everyone flocked to my bedside. I felt three pairs of hands find me, grabbing on to different parts of my body while I struggled to speak.

  “Caroline?” Dean asked. “Baby, can you hear me? Can you open your eyes?”

  Hearing his request was all it took to force my eyes open. I blinked slowly, keeping my eyes narrowed against the bright lights. My eyelids still felt heavy as they fought to remain closed but I held them open, fighting against the lights in order to see the one face I craved.

  When my eyes fell on Dean, he laughed and leaned forward. He kissed me gently, barely brushing his lips against mine.

  “Hey,” he said. “God, it’s good to see you awake.”

  “H… How… How long have I… been out?” My voice was ragged as I spoke but I was pleased to know I could use my voice at all.

  “Just a few hours,” Stephanie said. “They brought you out of surgery two hours ago. You’ve been in here ever since.”

  I nodded but it hurt my head so I stopped quickly. My eyes fell on my father’s face and he smiled kindly, his eyes twinkling with an emotion I’d never seen before.

  “Hi Dad,” I said weakly.

  “I’m glad you’re okay,” he said.

  I smiled and looked around, searching for a sign of my mother. She wasn’t anywhere in the room. I frowned and look at my dad, a silent question in m
y eyes.

  “I don’t know,” he said softly.

  “What?” Dean asked.

  “My mom?” I asked.

  “Oh,” Dean said.

  “She left to get coffee about four hours ago,” Dad said. “She hasn’t been back since.”

  I nodded again. This time, it didn’t hurt as bad. I wasn’t surprised to find that my mother didn’t stick around. A hospital waiting room wasn’t exactly her scene. If I knew her, she was currently at the club with a martini in her hand. She would be there well into the night, anything to distract from the reality of her life.

  Still, it hurt to find out she didn’t at least stick around to make sure I was okay. I pushed that thought out of my mind and turned to face Dean. He was holding my hand and staring at my face as if he thought I might suddenly disappear. I laughed at his worried expression and stroked his cheek gently.

  “I’m okay,” I said. “You can relax.”

  The second the words left my lips, I regretted them. I was awake but that didn’t mean anything for Daniel.

  “Wait,” I said, frowning deeply. “Where’s Daniel? Is he okay?”

  Panic set in as I demanded answers and everyone quickly quieted my nerves.

  “He’s okay,” Stephanie said.

  “My mom is with him now,” Dean said.

  “He hasn’t yet woken up, but the doctors are confident he will,” Dad said.

  I nodded slowly and breathed deeply. Knowing Daniel was okay was more than I could have hoped for.

  Dean, Stephanie, and my dad all stayed by my side for a long time. We didn’t talk about anything important. Instead, they distracted me with laughter and jokes. It felt amazing to just be there with them until the doctors came in to check on me. Everyone had to leave while the doctors and nurses poked over my body.

  I was sore and tired and everything they did hurt like hell but I knew it was worth it. Soon, I would leave the hospital and everything would return to normal. For now, we just had to wait until Daniel opened his eyes.

  After a while, Teresa poked her head inside my room with a radiant smile on her face. I’d never seen her look so happy.

  “He’s awake,” she said. I cheered along with everyone else.

  “Go,” I said to Dean. “Go see him.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Dean said, kissing my forehead and hurrying after his mom.

  I smiled while I watched them disappear into the hallway. Stephanie took my hand and squeezed it gently, tears in her eyes.

  “What’s the matter?” I asked.

  “Nothing.” She laughed. “I’m just really happy you didn’t die.”

  We both laughed and hugged each other while my dad stood off to the side. I could tell he wanted to talk to me but he didn’t want to do it with Stephanie in the room. I asked her to go get me some ice water and another blanket, giving me and Dad a chance to talk.

  Once it was just the two of us, he moved closer to my bed but he didn’t reach out to touch me. Things were awkward between us and I realized that we’d never truly had a conversation just the two of us, not a real one.

  I watched him closely, waiting for him to speak. When he did, his voice was low and strained. I could feel the emotion pouring out of him.

  “Caroline,” he said. “I just want you to know how happy I am that you’re okay. This entire ordeal has been terrible for everyone. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

  I nodded and waited for him to continue. He paused and sniffed, running his fingers through his salt and pepper hair.

  “I should have been more supportive when you came to me,” he said. “When you first told us about Daniel’s condition, I was shocked. I truly had no idea Teresa had another child and when you said he might have been mine, I didn’t know what to think.”

  “That’s understandable,” I said softly.

  “But, I didn’t handle it right,” he said. “For that, I’m sorry. Even though Daniel isn’t my son, I’m still happy he’s okay. And, Caroline, I do love you very much. I know I probably haven’t been the best father to you. I’ve been demanding, and downright critical, and I want you to know that I know how wrong that was. Sitting in that waiting room waiting for the doctor to come tell us if you were okay or not, made me realize just how much I love you, even if I haven’t been the greatest at showing it.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  He nodded and moved closer to me, his eyes suddenly growing more serious. I knew he wasn’t yet done talking but I couldn’t imagine what was left to say. He told me he loved me and that was all I needed to hear.

  “I can see how much you care about Dean,” he said. “And I know he cares very deeply for you. The way you two look at each other—it’s special.”

  “It really is.” I smiled.

  “But,” he said firmly.

  “But?” I asked.

  “I still don’t think he’s right for you,” he said quickly. “He’s not from our world and honey, I just worry about you. This boy already broke your heart once and what’s to say he won’t do it again? I don’t want you to open yourself up to someone you can’t trust.”

  “I do trust him,” I said.

  “But, how can you?” Dad asked. “After everything he’s done.”

  “He’s a good man,” I said with a smile. “I know you can’t see that yet, but you will.”

  “I don’t know.” He shook his head.

  “Dad,” I said firmly. “Listen to me. Dean and I are going to be together. I love him more than anything, and he feels the same way about me. We’re together for the long haul, okay? He’s it for me. I know that’s hard for you to hear and I’m sorry for that but I’m an adult and this is my decision. I need you to respect it.”

  Dad stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes searching my face. I could tell he was trying to think of another argument but eventually, he gave up. He sighed and nodded, sinking into a chair beside my bed and sitting with me for the rest of the day.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - DEAN

  Caroline was finally released from the hospital and my plans were finally in place. She arrived at her parent’s house early that morning, her father called me on the way to let me know they made it safely. I wanted to drive her myself but her dad insisted. As worried as I was, I didn’t want to stand in the way of their relationship. Ever since her surgery, things had begun to improve between them. Caroline’s mom wasn’t around much but at least her dad was finally stepping up.

  As I finalized a few things, my heart began to pound in my chest. After a week of preparations, I was finally able to tell Caroline everything. Now that she was home and on the mend, it was the perfect time. My excitement was overwhelming as I tucked the package in my pocket and hurried toward the front door.

  “Where are you running off to?” Mom asked before I could leave.

  “I need to see Caroline,” I said. “She just got home.”

  “Okay,” Mom said, smiling. “Give her a hug for me.”

  “I will.” I promised.

  I left feeling lighter than I’d felt in years. My mom’s presence in my childhood home no longer worried me. After my brother’s surgery, she’d been sober for an entire week. I knew the process was a long one and I was prepared for her to slip off the wagon again but something felt different now. It was like life had been breathed back into her. She was no longer a zombie, walking around without any true sense of purpose.

  She seemed awake for the first time in years, ready to start over. I hoped it would last and I had faith that it would. She’d been by Daniel’s side almost every second of this recovery. He was healing quickly and with the healthy kidney, his body was bouncing back faster than ever. He too had a new lease on life. He wanted to be healthy and not take Caroline’s gift for granted.

  My family was finally coming together and that, more than anything, propelled me forward as I drove to Caroline’s house. I was anxious to see her, to hold her and kiss her again. In the hospital, we hadn’t had any time to ourselves. I
nstead, she spent every second healing. Now that she was home, I was desperate for a little alone time.

  It wasn’t about sex. God, I hadn’t even thought about that in a full week. All I wanted was to see her face, to kiss her lips, and feel her body against mine. She was home. Safe and healing. Everything worked out exactly how she said it would and now, I wanted to celebrate. I knew I would never be able to thank her for the gift she gave my brother but I was desperate to try.

  When I pulled up to the front gate and punched in the number, I felt my palms begin to sweat. I didn’t know why I was nervous. My news was good news. Caroline would be thrilled and I would be even happier. From here on out, our lives were going to be amazing.

  I parked my car and jumped out, patting my pocket to make sure the package was still safely tucked away. As I knocked on the front door, I heard footsteps hurrying forward.

  “Dean,” Mr. Michaelson said. “Come on in.”

  “Thank you,” I said, stepping over the threshold.

  “She’s in the living room,” he said. “She’s just resting on the couch.”

  I nodded and hurried forward. Walking through the marble entryway felt like a dream. I hadn’t been back in this house since that summer seven years ago. Things were so different back then. I was so different.

  My entire outlook on life was grim. I never imagined a time when I would leave this town and now, after years of hard work, I could go wherever I wanted. It was funny how I no longer wanted to leave. My work was in Atlanta but I ran the damn company, I could move it wherever I wanted.