Toronto Collection Volume 3 (Toronto Series #10-13)

by Heather Wardell

  I got up, took a deep breath, and made my way to my assigned place. The place where I'd kissed Felix. It felt like a million years ago. Had he sent me there deliberately to remind me? Could well be.

  At the doorway I looked back at Percy. He gave me a calm smile and a nod. I smiled back and went into the room.

  Whatever happened, I'd be fine.

  I sat in the chair the furthest from the part of the table where I'd sat to kiss Felix, and waited, thinking about Percy and our kisses and how sweet he was to keep myself at least somewhat calm.

  Eventually, the door opened and Felix and Kelvin appeared.

  They took their seats and we sat in silence for a second.

  Kelvin cleared his throat. "Lydia, the job is yours."

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  Happiness filled me, but with a sick sense of dread woven into it. I'd wanted the job so badly, but now something felt wrong. "Thank you, Kelvin."

  "Thank Felix," he said. "He was most persuasive."

  "Well, then, thanks to you too," I said, turning to Felix.

  He gave me that dark sexy smile that had stirred me so much. Before. "You're most welcome, Lydia. You really do deserve it."

  "Of course, Patricia has a bigger following," Kelvin said, half to himself. "And Lydia seems so attached to her people, so I'm not sure she can--"

  "We talked about all that," Felix said firmly. "Remember? And I explained that Patricia's are only there to get freebies but won't do what she says otherwise. Lydia's people are devoted to her and they like that she seems to be devoted to them too. I told you not to worry about that. It just means they'll follow her recommendations."

  His "seems to be devoted to them" bothered me but I had a bigger concern. "My what?"

  He shrugged. "You know, recommendations. Like you did with the yoga classes. Cassandra made sure to recommend one advertiser's product a week but it'd probably be better if you only did one every other week or so for a bit until your readers are more used to it."

  I'd known Cassandra had often recommended stuff we'd been sent but I hadn't realized it had been so cold and calculating. My mentioning Jen's yoga classes had been anything but; I'd simply wanted to tell my readers what had helped me so much. "But what if I don't like anything that's been sent in? Or I don't think it'll help my readers?"

  "You're a creative woman, Lydia, you'll be able to pretend. Now, one other thing you should know. You'll be reporting to Kelvin instead of me." He smiled, his eyes glinting. "But I'm sure we'll still see each other occasionally."

  I heard a click deep inside me, but it was like a gun trigger being pulled instead of the kind Sasha had described. He had arranged this, all of it, to get rid of what he thought was my only objection to dating him.

  I stared at him. "And if I refuse? Can I stay doing my site as I do now?"

  The men exchanged glances. "Patricia has quit because we didn't choose her," Kelvin said awkwardly, "and Felix has assured me that Sasha didn't really want Cassandra's spot in the first place. So no, we need you there."

  Felix had claimed Sasha didn't want the job? Of course she did. Another part of his attempt to arrange all of our lives to his liking. "So, my choices are taking on the new job or leaving?"

  "Why would you leave?" Felix sounded genuinely confused. "This is perfect for you. High profile, all about flash and excitement. And the forum managers will take care of the community side, reader comments and emails, so you don't have to be bothered with that any more. I know that gets tiresome for you. This is custom-made for you."

  It had gotten tiresome, and it had been custom-made, but not for me. It had been made for the old me. The me before this project. The new me loved the contact with my readers and the feedback they gave, both positive and negative. My readers and I had reshaped each others' lives and I would never give that up.

  I'd been Canada's Carrie Bradshaw. I'd longed to be the next Cassandra. Maybe it was time to be me.

  I stood up. "Gentlemen, here's the thing. I've changed over the last four weeks." I looked deliberately at Felix. "Things I thought I wanted, I don't want any more." To Kelvin, I said, "I'm sorry, the answer's no. I'll pack my things and leave, but I'd like to post a quick goodbye to my readers first."

  "This makes no sense," Felix said before Kelvin could answer. "The job is perfect for you. Plus, there's..." He trailed off, but I knew he was going to say, "There's me."

  I shook my head. "No part of this is perfect for me."

  Felix looked stunned and bewildered. "But I thought..."

  He'd thought he was doing me a favor. He'd decided on his own to manipulate my career so he and I could date. And he'd never understand how offensive that was. Even if I had still wanted to be with him, I couldn't have now. I wanted a man who saw me as a partner, not a guy who played games with my life.

  "You were wrong." I left, closing the door behind me.

  Sasha, her eyes red, and Percy looked up at my arrival. "Congrats," they said together.

  I smiled at them. "Thanks. I quit."

  Sasha's mouth fell open and Percy said, "Why?"

  "Well, Kelvin apparently wanted to pick Patricia but Felix convinced him not to because he's been under the impression that the only reason I wouldn't date him is because he's my boss."

  Sasha stared, then looked at Percy. "But... um..."

  I grinned at her. "He doesn't know about that. But anyhow, Cassandra's job isn't me at all any more so I am officially unemployed. And I think I'd better say goodbye to my readers and pack up before Felix comes out because he's not thrilled."

  As I set to work, Percy came over. "As one unemployed bum to another, can I pack for you while you post?"

  I looked up, smiling at him. "That would be great."

  Kelvin appeared then, and walked on out of the office without a word.

  I typed as fast as I could, telling my readers I was leaving the site and thanking them for reading my posts and chatting with me and asking them to search for 'Lydia Grange' in a week or so because I'd find another place where we could talk. I would. I wanted to. I knew that starting my own site would be a lot of work, and I'd probably have to get a job as well, but I'd be able to talk to my readers my way and that would be great.

  Luckily I didn't keep too many personal items in the office, so Percy had nearly everything gathered up in the few moments before Felix stormed out of the conference room.

  "Lydia, I need to talk to you. Now."

  I shook my head. "Nothing to say." I pressed the 'submit' button on my post. Nothing to say to him, anyhow.

  He moved forward to stand in front of me. "You made me look like an idiot. Why didn't you tell me--"

  "Tell you what? That I actually like talking to my readers now? You should have known that, if you were paying attention." I raised my chin. "Or is there something else that you think I should have told you?"

  He glanced at Sasha. "I'd rather do this in private."

  "There's nothing to say."

  "Lydia, come on. We... I thought we had..." He looked at Sasha again. "Two minutes. That's all I ask."

  "There's nothing to say."

  Sasha gave a strangled cough, and I grinned at her, knowing she'd recognized my broken record.

  "Fine. Whatever. You aren't good enough for me anyhow. Sasha, I'll be hiring two new columnists but you've got Cassandra's job. Unless of course you quit too."

  His office door slammed so hard the glass in the windows rattled.

  Percy's arm went around my shoulders. "You're plenty good enough for me."

  I looked up at him and laughed. I'd never felt so free and so sure I was doing the right thing. "Glad to hear it, because I'm planning to sponge off you until I get another job."

  He kissed my forehead. "We'll talk at lunch. And yes, I'll pay."

  I smiled at him then turned to Sasha. Before I could speak, she gave me a sad smile. "It was good getting to know you guys. The office won't be the same without you, but I hope I'll see you again."

  I slap
ped her arm lightly, sorry she still wasn't sure of her friendship status. "Aren't we having coffee this afternoon?"

  She grinned, relieved. "You're so right. Starbucks at three?"

  "Perfect."

  She got up and hugged me and Percy, and I told her that she'd do an amazing job in Cassandra's spot because I truly believed she would, then my boyfriend and I left the office carrying our cardboard boxes.

  "So," he said, once we'd loaded them into his car. "Now what?"

  I grinned at him. "I don't have a clue. Except that I want to make my own web site and focus on my readers not on advertisers."

  "That's a pretty big clue, Flipper." He wrapped his arms around me. "You'll need a web site designer, won't you?"

  I looked up at him, trying not to smile. "I will. Now, if only I knew where to find one."

  He made a great show of being thoughtful, and I wound my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight. I hadn't wanted to play games any more but this game was perfect since we were indisputably on the same side.

  "I might know one," he said at last. "And it's even possible you could get a discount since he's just starting out on his own."

  "That's convenient. Now, how much of a discount? I am unemployed, you know."

  He eased back a little and took my face in both hands, then kissed me. His mouth was warm, his fingers gently caressing my skin, and happiness and something I thought would soon be love rippled through me. When the kiss ended, he said, "One of those a day should be enough payment."

  "Let's make it two," I said, and pulled his mouth to mine again.

  We broke apart, eventually, and my face broke into a grin.

  He grinned down at me, his eyes dancing. "What?"

  "Nothing." My grin widened. "I just think this is going to be good."

  PINK IS A FOUR-LETTER WORD

  Chapter One

  I stood in the hotel lobby between my best friend and her husband, refusing to let myself notice how hot he looked in his perfectly fitted black suit. I'd always thought Ian was great for Candice but not my type, but for the last year or two I'd been fighting a crush on him and I hated it.

  He smiled at me, nothing but his usual friendliness in his green eyes, then turned to Candice. "This thorn's all set, but are you roses ready to go in?"

  Candice laughed. "I'll call you Spike. Oh, wait, I already know a Spike."

  We chuckled, remembering the name of the ripped-leather-clad sweetheart who'd done all four of her tattoos and one for Ian, and Ian said, "That guy's too huge. I won't fight him for the name. Anyhow, shall we?"

  Ian and Candice, holding hands, walked into the ballroom, and I followed and tried not to feel like the third banana I so clearly was. Technically Ian was the third banana since it wasn't his elementary school reunion, but the bond between Candice and Ian was so strong that he'd never be pushed out of the way.

  I felt disappointed realizing yet again that I'd never have a chance with him, and that disgusted me. I didn't want to want a chance. Going after my best friend's husband? I'd never thought I could sink that low.

  I caught Candice's arm before she reached our assigned table. "I'll grab us some drinks. Any preference?"

  She laughed. "Anything with booze in it. No kids all weekend!"

  I smiled back, since I knew how much she'd been looking forward to a little time away from Libby and Erik, but I hurt inside. I had no kids ever. Also no husband, no house, and no hope.

  But other than that, I was doing just fine.

  While I waited for the overworked bartender to make two cocktails and open Ian's beer, someone laid a hand on my shoulder. I turned and found myself facing a tall sexy blond man with brown eyes and an appealingly scruffy beard.

  "Hey there," he said, his voice full of innuendo and slurred by alcohol. "I think I know you. Did we go to school together?"

  I gave him a look that said, "Gee, ya think?" and he grinned. "Sorry, I know, it's a pathetic line. I've been wanting to say it to someone since I got here, though, and you're the prettiest one I've seen so far."

  The 'so far' took some of the charm from his statement, but not all of it. I doubted he'd find another one prettier, since I'd used all my makeup-artist skills on myself tonight. At thirty-six years old keeping my appearance up to snuff wasn't as easy as it used to be. I had no choice, though, since all I really had were my looks.

  My dad had always said, "Beauty's in the eye of the butt-holder," and though I'd joined my mom and sister in rolling our eyes at his mangled proverb I'd also taken the point: if nobody wanted you, you weren't good enough.

  As an adult I'd come to recognize the flaws in Dad's logic, and of course I knew I was just fine without a man, but the fact remained that nobody had held my butt or any other part of me for far too long and I wanted that validation so much it hurt.

  "It's a little pathetic," I said, smiling at him, "but I forgive you. And yes, we probably did. I'm Larissa Collins."

  "Oh, I know. And it's still Collins?" He moved a little closer. "No husband, or boyfriend even, waiting to beat me up?"

  I shook my head, happy he remembered me but not wanting to show it. "Not a one."

  His eyes scanned my face, and I saw them dip down over my push-up-bra-clad chest beneath my sleek fitted black dress then come up again so he could look me in the eye as he said, "Men are such idiots."

  "No argument here." I gave him an extra-sweet smile.

  He laughed. "Present company included, right?"

  "I'm not sure yet," I said, my smile widening since I'd indeed meant to hint at including him and liked that he'd picked it up but hadn't become indignant over it. I reached out and turned his nametag toward me. I knew who he was but I didn't want to admit it. "Brent Deming. I remember you."

  "You do? Because I was so gorgeous?"

  Actually, yes. I'd had a huge crush on him. He'd been my first-ever dance partner, at our grade eight graduation party a few months after my dad died, and I often remembered how I'd looked around at the girls on the sidelines who were watching me with envy and known we all thought I was something special because Brent had chosen me. He'd gone to a different high school so I hadn't seen him since, and he'd grown up to be even hotter than I'd have expected.

  I couldn't say any of that, though, so I shook my head and said, "Because you were still eating glue the last day of grade eight."

  We burst out laughing and he said, "Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it. Tasty stuff."

  The bartender handed me my drinks, and Brent graciously offered to help me carry them to my table. When we got there, Candice and Ian were gone, but I was able to spot her pretty flowing pink dress in the crowd. She and Ian were across the room, deep in conversation with several other couples.

  Couples every-damn-where I looked. I hadn't seen anyone but me and Brent who seemed to be alone.

  He must have thought the same thing, because he set down Ian's beer then snaked his arm around my shoulders and said, "Looks like it's just you and me, Larissa. Everyone else is busy showing off their kids' pictures and bragging about their white picket fences."

  Though he couldn't have known it, those words gave me a sick feeling inside. I'd gone to the hospital to visit Candice two months ago after the birth of her Erik, and the sight of her now-complete family, her brand new boy and beautiful little girl and devoted husband, had made me think that the white picket fence should have sprung up all by itself around their house given how perfect Candice's family and life were. I'd felt awful thinking that and I did again now remembering it. I didn't want to be such a bitch.

  I took a long swallow of my drink then cleared my throat. "Well, if they've got them, I can see why they brag about them."

  He pulled me closer and murmured into my ear, "I'd brag about you, not some fence. If I had you, of course."

  His breath against my skin sent shivers through me and woke up body parts I hadn't expected would be active tonight. Long time no boyfriend, though, and his nearness and the smoky darkness of h
is cologne were doing interesting things to me.

  He turned himself more toward me so his cheek was against mine, and whispered, "What say we go up to my room and get to know each other again?"

  So tempting, on so many levels. I hadn't wanted to come to the reunion at all since I'd known it would be a 'mommy' bragging session, but when I'd hinted that I might not be able to make it Candice had been so disappointed I hadn't been able to follow through. We'd met in elementary school, after all, and when she said, "But it's kind of a celebration of us," I was so touched that before I knew it I'd bought my ticket. But now she was busy with the other guests and didn't seem to notice I wasn't around. Though I knew it shouldn't, it hurt.

  Plus, after the week from hell I'd had at work, the idea of losing myself in a little (although hopefully not too little) sex had immense appeal. Next week promised to be even worse and being relaxed could only help.

  And though I knew it was ridiculous, I couldn't help wondering whether Brent and I could end up with our own white picket fence. I didn't want to be single any more. I'd never wanted it. I felt better, solid and safe and appropriate, when I was in a relationship, but it had been so long and I missed that feeling of security, of rightness, so much.

  But I couldn't imagine any of that would start with a furtive trip up to his room. So I slapped him on the shoulder, hard enough to say I was a little offended but not so hard that he'd think I hated the idea, and said, "But I just got here. And I haven't talked to anyone. I couldn't leave yet."

  "We wouldn't have to be gone all that long."

  Charming. I made myself laugh. "I wouldn't brag about that, if I were you."

  He winked at me. "I didn't mean it." His eyes fixed on my mouth and he added, "I'd take my time, trust me."

  Another shiver rippled through me but I wouldn't give in this easily. "After dinner, we can talk. I can't do anything on an empty stomach. And now I need to go see Candice."

  "You win. This time." He winked again. "But the second I finish my dessert, I'm coming over to see you. Do you drink coffee?"