Mending the Doctor's Heart

by Sophia Sasson

  He raised an eyebrow. “Fine, then.”

  They made their way back to the road. Anna’s arms protested. The box hadn’t felt that heavy back at camp, but walking through mud and debris was wearing her down.

  “You okay with that box?”

  She nodded. “It’s pretty light.”

  His lips twitched but he graciously pointed to a pickup truck parked down the road. She saw that the big tree she’d climbed last night had been chopped up and moved to the side so cars could pass in single file. The locals weren’t going to sit on their hands and wait for help to arrive. She remembered when Nico had first introduced her to the island he’d said, No one comes for us. We’re more than twelve hours flying time from the US mainland. We fend for ourselves. At the time she’d been enchanted with the idea of living on a remote island and awed by the spirit of the people who charted their own course.

  Branches and leaves still littered the road. As they crossed the fallen tree, her foot caught an errant limb and she reached out to keep from falling. Nico grabbed her arm to stabilize her, then wordlessly took the box. He walked to the passenger side of the pickup, opened the door for her and set the box in the truck bed.

  She got herself into the seat, then shut the door before he could come around to do it for her. Nico placed his hand on the steering wheel but didn’t start the engine. Anna stared at him. He turned to her. “Before we see my family, there’s something I need to tell you.”

  She waited. His face told her she wasn’t going to like what he had to say. Her heart slowed until she could barely feel it beating inside her chest. He tried to smile, but it was his fake smile, the one he gave when he was trying to put a good face on bad news.

  “Nana has breast cancer.”

  She gasped and instinctively placed her hand on his.

  “She’s not in a lot of pain yet.”

  A small ray bloomed in Anna’s chest. “Have you considered taking her to Hawaii or California for treatment?”

  Nico shook his head. “I’ve begged, but she doesn’t want to leave the island. She’s convinced that it’s better to spend her last few days dying here than to waste away in a hospital on the mainland. Besides, Guam Hospital can do some basic radiation and chemo.”

  Anger sparked through her. Couldn’t he see that his mother might have a real chance at treatment? Why are they so obstinate about staying on this island?

  “That’s why you’ve been working so hard to get that hospital up and running?”

  “She was only diagnosed a month ago. The hospital was well underway, but yes, my hope is that it’ll be open in time to help her.”

  She squeezed his hand. His frozen face told her he was fighting back tears.

  “There’s one more thing.”

  She waited, watching his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed. Her heart kicked up a notch. More bad news.

  “My mother has asked me to marry again. She wants to see grandchildren before she dies. You’ll be meeting someone who’s very special to me.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  AS THEY DROVE down the littered road, Anna clung to the handhold while Nico swerved to dodge branches, pieces of furniture and random objects. At times, he had to go off-road to bypass a section.

  “This is what you call passable?”

  He gave her a half smile and wiggled his brows. Despite herself, she smiled back. It was Nico’s mischievous smile. Like the time he’d surprised her with their honeymoon. She’d thought they were going to Tahiti or Fiji. Instead, he’d driven her to a run-down house in Tumon Bay.

  “What’s this?”

  “It’s our new home.”

  She stared in horror. They had talked about buying a house so they wouldn’t have to live in his family home, with his mother and the rest of his family constantly in their faces. Anna had pictured one of the cute cottages by the sea with a front porch they could sit on and enjoy breakfast as they watched the tide come in. While this house was on the sea, it looked like it would fall into it any second. The railings on the front porch were broken. A section of the roof had caved in. Trash littered the front and side yards. While she could hear the ocean, there was no sight of it. The whole thing looked like a crumbling heap that would collapse if she poked it with a finger.

  “You bought this?”

  He nodded and she turned to see his eyes shining, his mouth turned up in a brilliant smile.

  “Now, I know what you’re thinking. This place is a dump and if we combined our salaries, we could’ve had something much better. But I wanted to buy this for you, with my own money, and fix it up the way you want it.”

  Fix it up? This place needed to be bulldozed. Before she could say anything else, her feet left the ground as he lifted her. Automatically, her hands went around his neck so she could rest her face in the nook between his neck and shoulder. It was the best vantage point to breathe in the scent that was uniquely Nico. Earth, sweat and clean soap. Somehow the feel of his solid chest tempered her anger. It always did, and he knew it. He was still dressed in the cotton shirt and pants he’d worn to their wedding. She had chosen a plain white dress that fell to her ankles. Somehow a big wedding dress didn’t appeal to her. They were married in the church where Nico had been christened, then had a luncheon at the golf course. Her sister Caro had come with her two-year-old toddler and the rest of the guests included nearly every person on the island. Nico and Nana were connected to everyone somehow, either by blood or friendship.

  Stepping onto the rickety porch, he kicked open the door, which nearly fell off its hinges. The inside of the house was only marginally better than the outside. They entered through a foyer with peeling paint and years of grime and dirt on the hardwood floors. Miraculously, the stairs didn’t crumble under their weight.

  He toed open the door of a bedroom and set her down. Anna gasped. The room looked like it belonged to another house. There was a big wooden four-poster bed, complete with white gauzy drapes. It was covered in rose petals. A dark wood dresser held several candles, their flickering lights dancing along the mirror. The wide plank floors gleamed. Skylights let in the soft glow of the evening sun and big French doors led to a balcony.

  Nico walked over and opened the doors. She followed him outside and gasped again. The balcony looked out to the calm waters of the bay and the waves of the Philippine Sea beyond.

  “There is no other home on this island with this view. When we fix up the rest of this house, it’ll look like this bedroom.”

  This was why she loved Nico. He dreamed of things she couldn’t even imagine and made them happen. She turned and put her arms around him. “I love you, Nico, and I can’t wait to make this our home and raise our children here.”

  He gave her that half smile and wiggled his brows as he carried her to the bed.

  “Did our house in Tumon survive?”

  While Nico had done most of the work to restore that house, Anna had put in her fair share of sweat equity. She remembered sitting with a toothbrush cleaning the grout in the kitchen floor, hauling trash to the industrial-sized bins in the yard, spending days scraping wallpaper off the walls and hand-cleaning inches of mud off the floors. It had taken them the better part of a year to make the house livable, and more often than not, she’d spent the time yelling at Nico for the slow pace with which things got done on the island. But when it was all finished, the house was even better than what she’d ever imagined. She’d been bounced from one rental to another as a child, and this was the first place that had felt like home.

  He gripped the steering wheel. “I don’t know.”

  “You weren’t home when it happened?”

  “I don’t live there anymore.”

  Her stomach lurched. Had he sold their house? How could he? Even as the thought flew through her mind she realized how unreasonable she was being. She
had left him, and their life. Why would he stay in their home? Of course he’d sold it.

  “We still own the house, I didn’t sell it, but I couldn’t live there anymore.”

  His eyes were fixed on the road ahead. “I gave it to you in the divorce papers I had drawn up.”

  Pain ripped through her chest. How could she have forgotten about the asset division in the divorce settlement? While she had never been divorced herself, she had seen her mother through five of them, each one impossibly more contentious than the last. In the last one her mother had fought with her ex-husband for two months over a painting they had acquired during travels overseas. The painting wasn’t worth as much as they each spent on lawyer fees.

  “You bought the house, and it’s probably worth ten times what you paid for it. You should keep it.”

  He shook his head. “I haven’t been there since the day you left. Tito has been going once a month to do some basic upkeep. I paid the insurance, so any damage from the tsunami should be covered.”

  “What will I do with the house? I don’t even live here. You should sell it.” As she said the words, her breath stuck. The house was not a commodity; it wasn’t a car or jewelry that you sold and split the proceeds, even though she knew that’s what most divorced people did. The house had been home. Their home. One they built together.

  Nico swerved hard to avoid an upturned car and Anna slammed into the side door. His jaw clenched. “The house is not for sale. If you don’t want it, we’ll figure out another solution.”

  Why did she feel relief? He was being totally unreasonable. Not that she wanted any money from him, but if he wasn’t going to live there, he should sell it. The firm line of his lips told her he was done with this conversation. One of the many things about him that irritated her. It wasn’t that his mind couldn’t be changed. When they were married, a kiss in that crook between his neck and shoulder or a nip on his earlobe melted his resolve. Fights didn’t last long. Until she had Lucas.

  After more than an hour of driving, he pulled up to a white building. At least three cars were on the roof and a good-sized yacht was on its side on the front lawn.

  “The building was in the direct path of the tsunami. The roof will be an expensive repair.” Nico’s voice was grim, as if he was surveying the damage anew.

  The windows were blown out but the building seemed intact, which was far better than what the other buildings in the area looked like. Most of them were missing walls and had roofs caved in.

  “Will insurance cover it?”

  He nodded. “They should, but they’ll be dragging their heels with all the claims that’ll be hitting them.”

  They picked their way across the lawn. The revolving door at the hospital entrance had been blown out, so all that remained was a gaping hole. Still, Anna didn’t miss the etched brass sign next to the door.

  In memory of Lucas Michael Atao. The baby who remains in our hearts.

  All are welcome, all will be served.

  We save lives here.

  Hand on her mouth, she staggered and gasped. He was right there as her knees buckled. She waited for the panic to hit but it didn’t. All she felt was Nico’s strong chest on her back, his arms holding her upright. It had been 1,923 days since he’d died. Yet the vise that gripped her heart was as strong as it had been the day it happened.

  “I’ve never forgotten him, Anna, and I never will. Your sacrifice, and his, will not go in vain. Good will come from his death.”

  She couldn’t talk about this. Nothing in the world could take away the hole in her soul. Not a new hospital, and definitely not Nico. Leaving his embrace, she steadied herself for what waited inside. Silently, he walked in first and she followed. Several people were in the lobby mopping and piling litter into large garbage bags. They waved to Nico and Anna, automatically greeting them with “Hafa Adai!”

  She knew a few people, but not well. Some frowned, obviously trying to place her. She walked past them before recognition dawned.

  Unfortunately, that luck didn’t hold. “Anna, is that really you?” Before she could stop him, Nico’s uncle Bruno enveloped her in his arms. Never mind that he hated her and they’d never gotten along. He greeted her like she was his long-lost daughter, kissing both cheeks and wiping tears from his eyes as he gushed over how good it was to see her back on Guam.

  “Uncle, enough now. Mrs. DeSouza is critical—Anna needs to attend to her.”

  Bruno patted her on the shoulders. “It’s so good to see you.”

  Anna shook her head as they walked away. “What’s come over him?”

  “Aunt Mae died last year and he’s been going on these emotional extremes ever since.”

  Anna stopped. “Aunt Mae died? How?” Anna had been quite fond of Bruno’s wife, who had taken Anna under her wing and shown her how to fit in with Nico’s family. She had taught Anna how to make Chamorro food and perform the rituals at church. Aunt Mae had even shown her what to plant in her garden to deal with the briny air. The woman was no spring chicken but she couldn’t have been more than sixty.

  “She had a heart attack.” Nico’s voice was matter-of-fact but Anna knew how much he too had cared for Aunt Mae. “I wrote you an email to let you know, but you never replied.”

  Anna had set her account so emails from Nico went to a special folder automatically. It was the only way to make sure she never saw his name in her in-box. After returning to California from Guam, she’d been sitting on a bus and checked her smartphone, mindlessly scrolling through emails. She’d read the email from Nico even before her brain had fully processed who the note was from. Crying uncontrollably for the rest of the bus ride, she had almost packed her bags when she got home. Luckily her brain kicked in. So she’d made sure she never accidentally read his emails again. Keeping him out of her mind was the key to her survival.

  “I didn’t see the email,” she said sheepishly. “I’m sorry about Aunt Mae, she was a good woman. If we have time, I’d like to go to her grave and leave some flowers.”

  “She’s buried near Lucas.”

  He might as well have dropped a boulder on her. Since the day she buried him, Anna had not seen her son’s grave. On that horrid day, she’d buried a piece of her soul along with him, a part that she’d never get back. It was the same part that once loved Nico.

  “What’s this about Mrs. DeSouza?”

  Nico got the hint and led the way. Anna noticed that though the hospital wasn’t quite functional, the inner core was intact. It seemed the entire community was there fixing beds, rolling medical equipment, tending to sick patients. An old man bent low over a cane handed water to a young man who was sitting with a towel over his head. We take care of each other. No one comes to help us, we only rely on each other. Nico had explained this to her when they’d first met; it was what had first made her fall in love with Guam. She had traveled the world and seen a lot of close-knit communities, but never had she witnessed the kind of kinship that existed here.

  Nico left her in what would eventually become the ICU. Right now, a generator was powering the few pieces of equipment that weren’t waterlogged. A gap-toothed man sat at the nurses’ station taking apart a defibrillator. Far from a sterile environment, but Anna was used to that now. In Liberia, she’d been lucky if there was a tent available to deal with a patient gushing blood. It was a minor miracle she hadn’t gotten sick.

  Mrs. DeSouza had suffered a stroke. Anna vaguely remembered her from community parties. If her memory served, Mrs. DeSouza had never been married, so she fostered little children. Teen pregnancy was common on the island and young mothers often needed child care while they studied for exams or took courses at Guam University. Anna did the best she could for the sick woman.

  She moved on to the next patient on a bed, thankful she’d never seen him before. He was in better shape, though he’d obviously had
a heart attack. Someone had used a defibrillator but he still had an arrhythmia. She administered some medication and hung an IV bag for a continuous drip. The man would need more invasive testing but he was fine for now.

  Nico returned as she finished with her fifth patient. “Mrs. DeSouza won’t make it through the night,” she said without preamble.

  Pinching the bridge of his nose, he nodded. “Dr. Tucker said there were surgeons on the way.”

  Anna shook her head. For once it wasn’t an issue of resources. “She’s too far gone. It’s time to say goodbye.”

  Nico nodded. “She has two teenagers she’s been fostering for four years now. They’re really close, I’ll ask someone to go get them.”

  “The patients here are good for now. Where do you want me to go next?”

  “We have some with burn injuries from fires that broke out.” He grimaced as he said it, and Anna knew why.

  She nodded. “Let’s go. They are probably more critical than some of these cases.”

  He took her to another unit that was set up like a general hospital ward. Several individual rooms surrounded a nurses’ station, where Nana sat. She stood and came to Anna. “I didn’t get to properly greet you yesterday.” Giving her a hug, she took Anna’s hand and patted it. “Welcome home, my child. I am happy to see you are well.”

  Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them away. She had never gotten along with Nana. While Anna understood why some of the extended family took issue with the fact that she was white and not Chamorro, she didn’t understand why Nana disliked her. Nico’s father was white. He had been a marine stationed on Guam. Sometimes Anna wondered whether Nana had been taking out her husband’s betrayal on Anna. Still, like Uncle Bruno, her smile held genuine warmth and her eyes welcomed Anna sincerely.

  Nico motioned to the first door, but before he opened it, he paused. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m a doctor—I’ve seen pretty horrific things.”

  He opened the door to a darkened room. The figure lying on the bed looked barely human; he’d been burned from head to toe. Anna slipped on gloves and a mask. Burn patients were highly susceptible to infection and she was glad that Nico had had the foresight to put the man in a relatively clean, secluded room. The patient was unconscious but breathing on his own, with a weak but steady heartbeat.