Mending the Doctor's Heart

by Sophia Sasson

  Nana set down two steaming cups. “You’ve come to say goodbye.” She wasn’t a woman to mince words.

  Anna nodded. “I didn’t want to leave like I did the last time. And I want to thank you for the quilt, and for giving me closure on Lucas’s death.”

  “You were not the only one who needed the closure. We all needed to grieve for him, and we couldn’t do it without you.”

  Anna nodded, looking down at her teacup. It seemed the only thing she could do these days was cry. Nothing made sense anymore, no decision felt right.

  Nana patted her hand. “I’m sorry to see you go.”

  “I’m sorry I messed things up between Nico and Maria. I tried to talk to her. It was never my intention...” What could she possibly say? “I wish I had quit my job and never come back. Then Nico would still be engaged to Maria. They’d be happy.”

  “That was my hope. But even if you hadn’t come, that’s not what would’ve happened.”

  Anna looked up. Nana’s face was weary. “I’ve been asking Nico to send you the divorce papers. Your mother said she had an address he could use, but he’s been holding on to them. I think he was planning to go to California to see you one last time. He has never stopped loving you.”

  “I would’ve signed the papers if he’d sent them. Then maybe I wouldn’t have ruined Maria’s life.”

  Nana shrugged. “Maria is a smart, beautiful girl. All the bachelors on the island want to marry her. She’ll be okay. I hear even the governor is sweet on her. It’s Nico I worry about. He will never be the same without you.”

  Anna knew where this was going and she had braced herself for it. Nana would try to talk her into staying. She would argue a case for compromise or make a deal with Anna. It was what she’d done when Anna had expressed her discomfort with living in Nana’s house after they’d gotten married. Nana had suggested they find a home of their own. It was what had made her and Nico decide to buy their own house. Then Nico, in his typical make things happen fashion, had bought the house in Tumon without telling her. But not before he got Nana’s blessing. One thing Anna could never fault in Nana was how much she loved her son. She would sacrifice her own happiness for his.

  “You need to go in order for things to work out,” Nana said softly.

  Wait, what? She had settled in to hear a lecture about why she shouldn’t leave Guam. Nana wanted her to go? But Anna nodded, like it was unquestionably the right decision.

  “Please come to California and get treatment. It’s only for a short time—you’ll be back on the island before you know it.”

  Nana smiled and stood. Giving Anna a hug, she patted her back. “I’ve had a good life, Nico has made me very proud. I’m okay here at home.”

  Anna had lost track of how many tears she’d shed during the past few days. And she had yet to say her most painful goodbye. Alex and Kat were leaving on the helicopter with Luke in just over an hour. Anna was going to catch a ride to Japan with them. She’d never get off Guam if she had to wait for a commercial flight here. The airport still only had one working runway.

  She returned to the hospital and said her goodbyes to Maria and Bruno after running into them in the lobby. The other woman hugged her and cried. Even Bruno was a big baby, sobbing uncontrollably.

  Then it was time to see Nico.

  She knocked on his office door.

  His eyes were red when he opened it, and the hurt in his face pierced her soul. He held up her ring and the divorce papers. “I see you’ve signed these.”

  What could she say? She had left them on the desk so she wouldn’t have to say the words out loud. A part of her wanted to leave like she had last time. It always seemed easier in the moment, but she’d learned the hard way that she’d regret it for years to come.

  “I gave you the house in Tumon. Whatever money you get from the insurance, put my half into this hospital.”

  “I couldn’t care less about the money. I want to rebuild that house with you.”

  “And I want us to have a life away from this island.”

  He held out his arms and she went to him. They had said everything they ever needed to say to each other. There was nothing left to do but to say goodbye.

  He bent his head and cupped her face. His lips were soft and light on hers. It was like the first time he’d kissed her, his lips seeking permission. She didn’t hesitate. This was the last time she’d get to be with the man she loved, and she wanted every last touch she could get. She stood on her tiptoes to get closer to him and deepened the kiss. His love flowed into her heart, like it always did. She tasted salt and didn’t know if it was from her tears or his. She ended the kiss to sob into his chest and he held her tight.

  A rap on the door broke their embrace. Maria looked in, her face pained. “I’m really sorry, but everyone is loaded into the chopper and Luke has to get going.”

  Anna nodded and Nico grabbed the duffel she’d dropped on the floor. They walked to the helicopter and he handed her bag to Vickie. Alex was sitting next to Luke in the copilot seat to make room for Anna to sit in the back. Vickie held out a hand to help her climb in. Anna looked down as the helicopter rose.

  Nico pressed a hand to his heart then to his lips, and blew a kiss at her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  “I SAY THIS as a woman who formerly loved you and still cares about you...”

  Nico looked up to see Maria standing there with her arms crossed. Uh, oh. She had that look in her eyes, the one she got when she was about to give him a long lecture.

  He moaned. “I don’t need this right now.”

  Although each day since Anna had left felt like a struggle to get through, two months had gone by and he’d been busy getting the hospital fully operational. Things had come together in large part thanks to the governor and to Lieutenant Luke Williams, both of whom had become close personal friends of his. Luke had managed to get himself assigned to Guam, and both men had put in some hard labor when they weren’t at their day jobs to help get the hospital up and running.

  “You’re going to hear it!” Maria said. “I am done with seeing your mopey face around here. I have work to do, a hospital to run, and we’ve hired and fired two CMOs in less than six weeks. I need you to snap out of it.”

  Nico couldn’t help but crack a smile. Maria was being a friend, and despite her bluster, he could see the worry lines etched in her forehead. “Listen, Miss Bossy, haven’t I done everything you’ve asked? It’s not my fault the CMOs can’t cut it here.”

  “Right, especially after you keep riding them for not performing miracles like our famed Dr. Atao.”

  She took a seat across from him and softened her tone. “Listen, I know this hasn’t been easy for you, but maybe it’s time you really said goodbye to her. We just hired this really cute nurse for the ER...”

  “Maria!”

  “What, you think I’ll be here waiting for you? I’ve got several dates lined up.”

  “Would one of them be our maga’låhi?” Even Nico hadn’t missed the way Tom doted on Maria, following her around like a lovesick puppy.

  She raised a brow and looked at him sideways. “I’m not ready for him yet.”

  He bit his tongue before he said something that would get him a new lecture. The last thing he had a right to do was give love advice to Maria.

  “You’re right. I need to start focusing on my family. Nana has a phone consultation with that oncologist you found in California.”

  Maria nodded. “I checked his credentials—he’s really good. And if it works out, he’s willing to come here once every two months for exams and consultations on Nana’s case and any others we want to give him. He’ll do the rest of his work remotely. He’s not cheap, but if we have a few more patients, I think he’s worth it.”

  Nico thanked Maria, then drove home
to Tumon Bay. The house was still a disaster and barely habitable, but he was slowly making progress. He’d managed to pump out the water on the first floor and dry it out. The next step was to fix the roof. Maybe he’d get out of Maria’s hair and spend some time working on the house.

  After Anna left, it had felt right to move back in there. He couldn’t explain it to himself or Nana, but he wanted to fix it. Five years ago, he hadn’t been able to face the house that only held memories of Anna, but now something felt different. It wasn’t just their house, it was also his. A labor of love. It was the first place that belonged to him, the first big purchase he’d made. All his. He remembered how he felt when he signed the papers to buy it. At the time, he had no idea whether he was making the best decision or the biggest mistake of his life. But the house had turned out exactly as he’d pictured it would. Until Lucas’s diagnosis, he’d been able to make his wife happy there. He’d been able to provide for her. For the first time in his life, he’d felt like he could do anything he wanted.

  This was his house, and he wasn’t going to sell it. He was going to use the insurance money to rebuild it and make a home for himself. With or without Anna.

  He went to the kitchen and took out a bottle of beer from the refrigerator that he’d gotten working just last night. The kitchen wasn’t fully functional yet because the plumbing had been damaged. Tito had promised to come by on the weekend and help him repair it now that his leg had healed.

  Nico opened a drawer to retrieve a bottle opener and caught sight of the divorce papers. He’d shoved them in the drawer when he’d gotten home the day Anna left and hadn’t touched them since. Her ring was back in the little silver antique box in the dresser upstairs.

  Everything had changed, yet nothing had.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  SOMETHING WAS WRONG. I’m out of air! Anna tapped her air gauge wondering how she could’ve been so irresponsible. She was still sixty feet underwater. She wouldn’t make it back to the surface. There wasn’t enough air. Her lungs burned as she looked for Nico. She needed his emergency regulator; that was the only way she would get back up to the surface safely. But he wasn’t there. Where did he go? He was her diving buddy, he was supposed to be beside her in case there was an emergency like this. But Nico was nowhere to be found. Her goggles filled with water, making it hard to see. Then she started sinking; her body was getting heavy as she released her last breath. She was going in the wrong direction.

  “Anna, it’s nearly five o’clock and you’re still not dressed.”

  Anna woke with a start and rubbed her eyes. Her pulse was racing and her skin was damp. That dream again. She looked at the Star Wars clock on the wall. It had been 3,068 hours since she’d left Guam. She’d had the same dream 126 times and it never got better.

  “You okay?”

  Anna eyed Caro, who was balancing a laundry basket in one arm and dressed in a black cocktail dress with a long strand of double pearls. Caro didn’t usually wear black because she thought it was too stark against her pale blond hair and light blue eyes. But it worked today.

  “Sorry, I took an afternoon nap and must have forgotten to set an alarm.”

  “Ethan has been playing drums all afternoon, how did you sleep through that?”

  Anna had no idea. Shrugging, she pulled herself up and hit her head on the top bunk. After she’d been there a month, Ethan decided it was too hot to sleep in the same bed as Aunt Anna and asked his mother for a bunk bed.

  “What time are we supposed to be at Kat’s house?”

  Caro slapped her own head in obvious frustration. “Anna, get it together. We aren’t going to Kat’s, we’re going to former Senator Roberts’s house for Kat and Alex’s anniversary dinner, remember? I’m your plus one and I’m already dressed. Come on, the babysitter will be here any minute now.”

  Anna groaned. “Can’t we skip it? I’m not up for a stuffy function.”

  “You haven’t been up for much in the past four months. I think it’ll be good for you to get out and socialize. Plus, you know it’s good for me to meet Kat and her father. He’s still a pretty powerful figure in Washington and I hear he has a new nonprofit that I want to talk to him about.”

  Anna rubbed her eyes. Her sister was a lobbyist and meeting Senator Roberts was a big deal for her. There was no way Caro would agree to call in an excuse. Besides, Anna hadn’t seen Kat since they’d returned from Guam. Kat had personally called several times to check on her but Anna had taken the lazy way out and returned her phone calls with upbeat emails. It was easier to fake it in writing than to try and make herself sound convincing. Kat seemed to be doing okay with everything, but Anna knew she should find out for herself. She owed Kat that much.

  She stepped into the shower and picked up Ethan’s Power Rangers foam soap can. Perhaps because she didn’t have children, she didn’t understand why it was charming to spray foam all over yourself. Caro had done Anna’s shopping when she’d first gotten back, buying soap, moisturizer and all the feminine essentials, but she’d stopped a few weeks ago and firmly told Anna that she needed to go get her own supplies. Anna hadn’t gotten around to it, or too much of anything else. What was the point?

  After returning from Guam, she’d taken a few weeks of leave, then quit her post with the PHS. At Caro’s insistence, she’d emailed some of her colleagues inquiring about job opportunities, and there had been several offers. One of her former medical school classmates had insisted she join him at his private family practice in Bethesda, Maryland. That lasted a week before she got tired of hearing parents with perfectly healthy children try to convince her that their kids needed speech therapy because they weren’t speaking ten languages by age five.

  Finally she’d agreed to take some shifts at the local community health center in the Southeast neighborhood of DC. People who came to those clinics had no health insurance or were on Medicaid, the public insurance for the very poor. Gunshot injuries were common at her clinic, and so were old ladies struggling with their diabetes. But even that wasn’t enough to make her feel whole. Her heart felt like it would spark and cough but then it died again, like an engine out of fuel.

  Caro’s banging on the door made her turn off the shower. She stepped out and wrapped herself in a towel.

  “What am I going to—” Anna couldn’t even get the question out before Caro held up a stunning silvery dress. She and Caro weren’t the same size; her sister was only five foot two and more petite than Anna. This dress was new and in Anna’s size. In her other hand, Caro held a pair of silver-and-black heels. Also in Anna’s size.

  “Caro. I’ll pay you back for these.” While Caro lived comfortably, she didn’t exactly make a ton of money and Washington, DC, was an expensive city, especially when she had to pay for private school and special therapy for Ethan.

  Caro shook her head. “It’s okay, sis. You’ve been taking care of me my whole life—I can take care of you for a little bit.” Misty-eyed, the sisters hugged each other. “You know, I’m sorry you’re hurting, but I have to say that I love having you living with me.”

  Anna nodded. Guam was so far away that she’d only seen her sister once while she’d been married to Nico, at their wedding. Nico had his family but she also had hers.

  Oh, Nico. He had emailed to check on her more than once. She had taken him out of email jail and answered, letting him know she was doing well. But her messages were perfunctory.

  He, on the other hand, sent regular updates with pictures of the hospital. The day she left, all the patients had been moved back in. The hospital was officially open for business and Nico was working on getting a grant to buy a medical helicopter so they could have access to transport when they needed it. He had taken a step back from the administrative side to give Maria a chance to run things. Anna suspected he’d also made the move to give Maria a chance to move on with her life. Nana’s symp
toms were starting to get worse, but she was as stubborn as ever. Tito had texted to let her know that Nico had moved back into the house in Tumon and was fixing it up. Nico hadn’t mentioned it to her and Anna hadn’t asked.

  Maria had also emailed, with the same updates on how well the hospital was coming along. The island was slowly recovering and coming back to life. People were fixing their houses, keeping the hospital busy when they fell off roofs or accidently hammered their hands. After going out on a few dates with other men, Maria had finally accepted Governor Tom’s invitation to have dinner at one of the fancy tourist restaurants.

  Stepping into the dress Caro had bought, Anna looked at her reflection in amazement. The last time she’d worn a fancy dress had been when she went out to dinner with Nico to celebrate her pregnancy. That had also been a silver dress. Nico loved the way the color brought out her eyes.

  “Sit down. I’m going to do your hair and makeup.” She let Caro fuss with her, and they reminisced about the way they used to sneak into their mother’s room when she was out and try on her fancy jewelry and makeup.

  Eventually, though, Caro grew serious. “Anna, I’m worried about you. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want, but a few shifts a month at the community center is not how you operate. You’re used to working sixteen-plus-hour days, I’ve never known you to take naps in the middle of the afternoon. It’s time to rebuild your life.”

  Anna sighed. Her sister was right, but she didn’t have a clear path. Where was her home? As much as she loved Caro and Ethan, she couldn’t live with them indefinitely.

  “Listen, my neighbor is putting her house up for sale. How about you get yourself a job and buy it. We can break down a wall in between and make a secret door. Ethan would love that.” The thought made Anna smile. Their favorite house growing up had been an old town house in San Francisco that had once been a bigger home before it was divided into two units. However, the original owners had left a small panel connecting the two houses through one of the closets. Anna and Caro used to sneak through that access panel when the owners weren’t home and use it as their own private retreat. They’d gotten caught several times, but the owner was a sixty-five-year-old woman who had never had children. She’d yell at them for sneaking in, then feed them milk and cookies.