Since I couldn't pull my eyes away, I noticed when he put his hands on her shoulder and tried to snake his arm around them. My face felt like it was on fire and my heart was slamming inside my chest. The guy tried to turn Haylee in the direction she had just come from, back toward the parking lot, but Haylee slithered away from his grasp. The asshole tried again, and I don't even remember doing it, but I raced down the steps of the bleachers, shoving people out of my way. I finally got to where Haylee and the asshat were, and I could hear her telling him that she had friends to get back to. Asshat wasn't taking 'no' for an answer, and I lost it. I stepped in between him and Haylee, getting right in his face. “She said 'no'! Leave her the fuck alone!” I shouted and his eyes went wide in disbelief. He was one of those guys who'd never heard the word 'no,' but needed to. With both hands raised in the air, he began stepping away backwards. No one at school ever bothered Haylee or Brynn again after that.
While I'd still have been there anyway, that had been the moment that I started to realize that what I felt for Haylee went way beyond friendship. I can't stand the thought of any guy putting his hands on her. Except me.
With that thought, I make my way through the gathered crowd as people who must recognize me call my name and grab my arm along the way. My eyes are locked on Parker, who is now dragging an unhappy Haylee away by the arm.
“Damn it, Parker! Let go of me!” I hear Haylee shouting at him as she struggles to free herself from his grasp. No fucking way am I letting him get even ten steps farther. I shove past someone in an attempt to head them off, and finally Parker looks up to find me standing right in front of him.
As soon as he looks up, I can smell the booze on his breath and I'd have been willing to bet my life by the way his eyes look that he is on something. Come on, Haylee is smarter than this! “Chase! Long time no see,” is his smartass remark. I want to wipe that smug ass grin right off his face. “What the hell, bro?” Parker asks when it becomes obvious to him that I'm not moving and I'm not in the mood to joke around.
“Haylee asked you to let go of her,” I say as calmly as I can. I don't want to start something with him in front of Haylee or in the condition that he seems to be in at the moment, but I'm sure not about to let him past me with her arm in his grip. I tell him to go sober up and he all but stalks away.
I calm down a little bit once I know that Haylee is okay. I don't think I'veever been more relieved when I hear that she isn't into drugs or that douche. I know firsthand how much that shit can mess up your life and I sure don't want that for Haylee. She's cute as hell too when she rolls her eyes at me and tells me she has no interest in drugs but that she can use a beer. I find myself wanting to kiss that smirk off her perfect lips. I never realized before what a turn-on her feistiness is.
After what she's just been through, I make sure to offer her my hand and allow her the choice to take it. That and I would take any opportunity to touch her. I am elated when she smiles and puts her little hand in mine. Nothing has felt so right in a very long time. I grab us each a beer without letting her go and lead her over to my sweet new rental. I'd headed back to the rental place before dropping by Brynn's to see if I could get a truck for tonight, and because, let's face it, I hated the Focus.
We sit on a blanket in the bed of the truck and talk for a while about her still dancing and my encounter with her cousin. I take her hand again and she doesn't pull it away, which I take as a good sign. The skin of her hand is so soft that I can't help but wonder if the skin on the rest of her body is even softer. . .
I have a plan in mind for us, and I need to know if she is free at all tomorrow. I'm thrilled to hear that she'll be free after dance, and we plan to meet up at noon. Of course she wants to know what we are doing.
“You'll have to wait and see,” I smile over at her and I swear I feel like a sixteen-year-old kid again. My heart is racing and I'm nervous, maybe because this is Haylee and I want this to be perfect. And I really want to taste those perfect lips of hers. And have for a long time. She is staring into my eyes and her eyelids are heavy and I can see her chest rising and falling rapidly as I lean down toward her slowly. . .
All of sudden there's a bunch of crazy noise just behind us and we spin around to find a bunch of guys piling into the bed of the truck with us. Griff and I need to have a very serious talk. This shit has to stop! His buddies are a bunch of cockblocks. He makes a face and shrugs at me like he has no idea what they are interrupting. I believe him but their timing is just shit. I guess that makes it even better that Haylee and I are going out alone tomorrow. The guys are here to party by the fire, so Haylee and I just go along with them at this point. I catch her eyes as often as I can. I want so badly to tell her how I feel now that I know she's never gotten the letters in which I had poured my heart out to her. It was a chickenshit way to do it, but there had been a certain comfort in doing it via letter, especially at that age.
Haylee doesn't want to stay too late since she has dance early in the morning, so I tell Griff that he can stay and hang out for a while and I take Haylee home in his truck instead. I've planned in my head to walk her up to her door and kiss her good night, but as soon as the truck stops, she bolts out the door and calls out over her shoulder, “Thanks, Chase. See you tomorrow.” Then she disappears inside her house. I sit there dumbstruck, staring after her for a few seconds. That hadn't gone as planned at all. It seemed like she hadn't seen what we did tonight as a date, more like I'd just offered her a ride home. I will have to remedy that tomorrow, make myself a bit more clear.
As I drive Griff's truck down the driveway and across the street, I wonder if she's hesitant to move past friendship because of the last four years or maybe because she's afraid of things changing between us if we cross that line. Or I could I be reading it all wrong and she isn't even interested in anything beyond friendship. I'll have to find a way to ask her tomorrow, because I am way past worrying about it now. My feelings for her have exploded past what I even thought was possible since I've been back and I need her to know that. I know I'll have to be careful not to scare her away though, being too forceful.
Even as I lay in bed at Griff's that night, I can't stop thinking about how close I finally am to Haylee. She is lying in her bed just across the street and I want so badly to run over there and climb in her bedroom window. Being that we are a little older now and I haven't done that in four years, I fight the urge to go. I'd probably scare her to death if I did. I can't fall asleep right away though, and my damn mind starts to think about other guys climbing in that window of hers. That burning feeling in the pit of my stomach returns then. I wonder how many guys she's dated and how many of them have done just that. If seeing Parker put his hands on her has me seeing red, I am positive I could never handle seeing her kiss another guy. Just the thought of that and more has me tossing and turning. I know I certainly have no right to judge but these damn feelings are rooted deep inside of me. She is my girl . . . she just doesn't know it yet.
The next morning Griff and I have breakfast at a diner in town before he has to go to work. We sit in a booth with the smells of greasy fried food in the air and I can't order a coffee soon enough.
“You look like hell, man. Didn't you sleep last night?” Griff asks me after the waitress brings our coffees.
“No, I didn't sleep well. Had a lot on my mind,” I reply and take a sip of the steaming coffee even though I know it is still too hot.
“Seems like Haylee has settled down a bit and decided to give you a second chance,” Griff comments as he stretches his arms out across the top of the seat behind him. The diner is bustling this morning, and the sounds of clinking plates and silverware and the din of dozens of different conversations floats around us.
I nod and sip the bitter coffee again. “For now anyway. I haven't had the chance to tell her about my epic fails yet. I fully expect her to run for the hills again when I do, probably later today. . . “
“So you guys made plans to hang out already?�
�� Griff asks. I can tell he is fighting the urge to smile.
“I asked her if I could pick her up after dance. You see, we start having these much needed conversations and then, bam! We keep getting interrupted,” I joke with him and he chuckles. I'm sure he remembers the look on my face in the bed of the truck last night.
“Hey, Griffin!” a girl with curly, brown hair and olive-toned skin calls out as she and a friend with strawberry blond hair come right up to the table. “You free to take us for a boat ride later today?”
I watch Griff as he grins and turns on the charm. “I think I can arrange that. I get out of work at two, so meet me at the dock around three?”
“See you then,” the curly brunette calls out with a huge grin as the two of them sway past a row of benches. Griff's gaze is locked right on their backsides and I raise my eyebrows at him.
“What can I say?” he asks with a smirk.
“A boat ride, huh?” He just shrugs his shoulders.
“So what are you and Haylee Jo up to this afternoon exactly?”
“I'm surprising her,” I reply and leave it at that.
“Any idea how long you're gonna stick around yet?” he asks. “'Cause you're welcome to stay at my place as long as you want. I'm just curious if you've thought about it at all. I'd hate to see you disappear and break her heart again.”
I nod. He is looking out for Haylee and I appreciate that. I haven't thought of much else since being back in Wake Forest. I won't up and leave Haylee like that again, but there are still things I need to get back to LA for. . . eventually.
“I'm gonna spend some time in town this morning checking into a few things, so I might have a better idea then,” I tell him. I have a plan for the first time in a long time, but there is still a lot up in the air, so I'm not ready to tell anyone about it just yet.
“Just take it easy on her, man. I don't want to see her like she was four years ago. You don't know how bad it was.” I kind of do know though. I'd been right there with her, just as shattered, albeit across the country.
We finish breakfast, and the coffee has finally woken me a bit. The morning is already sunny and warm, which is perfect for what I have planned for later.
“Have fun on that boat ride, man!” I call out to Griff as we each climb into our trucks. I can hear him laughing until I turn the key in the ignition.
I spend the next few hours at a couple of different places in town trying to figure out if what I want to do with my future is even a possibility. There are a lot of pieces that need to fall into place, but things are at least looking promising. I head back to Griff's at about eleven to get ready for my date with Haylee. Mrs. Michaels is home and offers to help me out with a few things. I'm nervous about how things will go with Haylee this afternoon, but I have hope for a lot of things. I can't remember the last time I'd felt real hope like this. It's exhilarating.
“I'm really glad you're back, Chase,” Mrs. Michaels tells me with a motherly smile. “And I know that Griffin and Haylee are as well.”
“You have no idea how nice it is to be back,” I tell her. And it really is.
Chapter 11 - Haylee
Getting up at 5:30 to go and do something I hate is my definition of torture, and the hour and a half private session with Madame Eileen just about breaks me. It's just after 7:30 when I get home and I smile as I think about spending time with Chase later. I'd be lying if I said I'm not at least a little bit nervous about being alone with him. That is a strange feeling to have toward Chase because we'd been alone a lot as kids, and it had never crossed my mind to be nervous about it. He'd certainly never given me reason to be. As I think back to the bonfire last night, I had been so sure that he was going to kiss me while we'd been sitting in the bed of the truck. Until the guys had all coming piling in, anyway. Now I have no idea and my mind is messing with me, telling me that I had just been fantasizing about kissing him too much lately.
I take a long, hot shower and throw on a pair of sweat pants and a tank top for the time being. Something has been nagging at the back of my mind since yesterday afternoon and I need to find out where Mom is. Her car had been in the driveway, so she must be around. I head down to the kitchen and fix myself a bowl of cereal but she isn't there and I know she hadn't been upstairs either. I figure she must have gone for a walk down the road as she often does when she doesn't have to be in to work real early. I finish my cereal quickly and hurry back upstairs. I should probably wait until she is gone for work but this thought is eating me up inside and I have to know if it has merit.
I walk into her bedroom and peer out the front window. I don't see her on either side of the road so I figure I have a few minutes as least. I start pulling open her dresser drawers and rummaging beneath her clothes. I rush over to the closet and pull the doors open. I step on the step stool to examine the boxes that sit on the shelf at the top. I've never snooped in her room before and my heart is racing, afraid of what I might find. I don't find anything in the closet, so I get down on my hands and knees and peer beneath her bed. There are a couple of plastic bins filled with shoes, and three shoeboxes as well. The first two shoeboxes each contain a pair of boots, but the third is much lighter. I pull it out and my heart sinks when I remove the lid. There are a bunch of envelopes inside and my hand is shaking as I pull one up to look at the front.
I gasp as I read my name and address on the front in Chase's familiar handwriting. I pull out a few more envelopes that look exactly the same and tears start to pour down my cheeks. My mother had gone all 'The Notebook' on me! I had been so upset when the mom in that movie had kept the letters from her daughter, and now my own damn mother has done it to me!
It had been bothering me since Chase told me about the letters yesterday and it made no sense that they would all just disappear. I've had this nagging feeling that this might be what I would find, but I had hoped to be wrong.
“Haylee, what are you doing?” My mother's voice startles the hell out of my already wildly beating heart. I hadn't even heard her come in the house. She glances down to where I sit on the floor beside her bed holding the open shoebox.
“Why, Mom?!” I hiss, as I look up at her through my tears. I hold one of the envelopes up for her to see. “Why did you do this to me?!”
She sinks down to her knees in front of me and tears begin to pool in her eyes as well. “I didn't mean to hurt you, Haylee,” she starts, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“Well, you did!” I shout. I usually try to walk on eggshells around her, but I am so mad, so hurt, that I can't hold back right now. “Why?!?”
She sighs heavily. “When the first letter arrived, you were such a wreck that I just couldn't bring myself to give it to you and watch you fall apart all over again. I should never have done it, but once I kept the first one, I just started keeping the next few as well. I just wanted to wait until you were dealing with his being gone better before I gave them to you. Then your dad. . .” her voice breaks and she swallows audibly. “After losing your dad as well and seeing how much it affected you, I just couldn't bring myself to tell you about the letters and eventually I just forgot about them. I was trying to protect you, Haylee, not hurt you.”
“Well, you did hurt me! All this time I thought he had lied to me when he'd told me that he would write. I was so mad at him! How do you think he felt when I never wrote back to his letters? He thought I had written him off for leaving and you know that wasn't the case!” I stand up now with the shoebox in my hand and look down at her on the floor. “You had no right to keep these from me!”
“I'm so sorry, Haylee. You'll never know how very sorry I am,” she whispers and I storm out of her room and down the hall to my own room, slamming the door behind me. I collapse onto my bed and sob into my pillow. I feel so betrayed. She's my mother. The one person who is supposed to look out for me no matter what, and to find out that she has kept something so important from me for so long, it's inconceivable.
I'm not sure how long I lay ther
e crying, but eventually I run out of tears and sit up to wipe the salty trails from my cheeks. I put the shoebox next to me and pull out the first envelope. It's unopened, so at least Mom hadn't read them. My hands are still shaking as they pull the papers out and unfold them. Just as Chase had said yesterday, there is a page for Griff and Brynn and two pages for me. My heart swells as I started to read his words from four years ago.
Dear Haylee,
I feel terrible about the way we left. It was so sudden. I honestly had no idea until my folks sprung it on me that day.
The house they bought out here is beautiful but nothing inside it feels warm or real. It's not home to me and I don't know if it ever will be. I've been unpacking slowly all week because I don't really know what to do when I finish. I can't just walk over and hang out with you, Brynn, and Griff anymore. I haven't even seen the people in our neighborhood here outside their houses yet. I guess if their houses look like ours, they probably don't want to leave it!
There is something that I'd been meaning to tell you before I left, and I obviously never got the chance. I don't want what I say to change our friendship or make things weird between us, and that's pretty much why I never said anything to you before. I sort of figured I had plenty of time but it turns out that I didn't.
You've always been my best friend, Hayles, but I think you're more than that now. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you and it ripped my heart out to move across the country from you. Please don't feel obligated to say anything back to me if you don't feel the same. I just needed you to know . . . I can't even say for sure when I noticed a change but it's been there for a while now. You're so beautiful, Haylee, inside and out, I don't know how I could not fall in love with you. You've always been there for me, and now I just have to hope that Griff and Brynn will be there for you the way that I wish I could be.
Second Chances Page 9