Take care of yourself and drop me a line when you're not out rescuing the animals.
P.S.- Colt made the trip just fine - he's my only friend out here now. Thanks to you!
All my love,
Chase
I put my hand over my mouth as tears start streaming down my cheeks again. So much for not having any left to cry. I glance back over the letter.
Holy shit! Chase had been in love with me too? I want to hate my mom for what she's done. For four years now, I had bottled up my feelings for Chase and I had always assumed that it was one-sided on my part. If only I'd known. . .what would I have done? What could I have done? Well, I know I would have written back to him for sure. Would I have been brave enough to tell him that I loved him too? I think so. But would it have made any difference when we lived on opposite sides of the country? I have to stop questioning the past because, like Griff always said, we can't go back. I have a chance to move forward now though.
I chuckle at his P.S. Colt is a pitbull mix who we'd found along the road one night. We'd taken him right to Griff's house to see his dad because the poor thing had been shot in the neck. Thanks to Dr. Michaels the dog survived and we named him Colt after a type of gun since it seemed to fit him. Chase had taken him in after that.
I guess the question now is whether I am brave enough to tell him face to face? I never thought I'd have the chance to do this and now I do. Is he still in love with me or had that just been how he'd felt back then. Things could have changed between now and then; California girls could have squeezed me right out of contention. I glance over at my clock. I have two hours yet until Chase will be here. I get myself cleaned up again and text him to ask what the heck I need to wear since I don't know what we are doing. He texts back right away:
Bikini, shorts, shirt, sneakers, + that beautiful smile
Well, he has me smiling now! My mind is busy trying to figure out what we might be doing. Boarding since we both loved it? Not in sneakers. Water park, maybe? As I look around my room, I realize it is still a disaster from last night and I can't even find a bathing suit. I quickly start picking up clothes and shoes and putting them away. I had brought up the basket with my clean laundry in it this morning, so I go through that as well. I choose a red bikini that I don't wear while boarding because it tends to lead to wardrobe malfunctions. Hopefully that won't be a problem with whatever it is we would be doing today.
Would he be taking me out today if he is no longer in love with me? Of course he would. He's Chase, always thoughtful, and he's my friend. That much is still apparent. I can't read too much into today until I know for sure.
I hear Mom's car start and back out of the driveway, and I'm relieved. I grab the box of Chase's letters and tuck it into the back of my closet behind some shoes just in case. I have some more reading to do eventually. I keep the first letter out that I'd read and stick it into my backpack along with a hoodie, in case I get cold doing God knows what. I pull on a pair of tattered denim shorts that barely cover my bikini bottom and a white tank top that I'd gotten at the same time as my newest Hyperlite wakeboard, so it has a boarder on the front. I pull all of my hair up into a high ponytail and put on a little makeup.
I hear a knock on the front door and glance over at my clock. 11:50. “It's me, Hayles,” I hear Chase call out. He's early, but I'm grinning like a fool.
“Come on in. I'm upstairs,” I call back and feel my stomach knot up as I remember his letter. He still doesn't know I've found them. I hear his footsteps creaking up the stairs and then I turn to find him standing in my doorway. I smile as I realize he takes up more of the doorway than he used to. “You can come in.” As he steps inside, I see him looking all around. I haven't changed much of anything in here since he'd left, so it probably looks just about the same as he remembers.
“I'm a little early, so if you still need some time, I can head back downstairs,” he offers and slides his hands into the front pockets of his black cargo shorts. He's wearing a blue and white Liquid Force t-shirt that I swear makes his blue eyes seem to glow and reach right inside of my heart. He has his signature Hurley hat on backwards, but a few strands of his dark hair poke out and curl up beneath the rim. I want to run over to him and wrap my arms around him, but that would probably seem strange, since he doesn't know I've read his first letter or that I am in love with him too.
“Well, since somebody wouldn't tell me where we going, I guess this is as good as it gets,” I shrug with a smile.
“You're beautiful, Hayles. Always have been. Always will be,” he replies with a rather intense expression. I feel his words reverberate all the way through my body. Is that just my friend Chase saying that? He holds his hand out to me again, and I grab my backpack as I give him my hand. We head out to his truck and he opens the passenger's door for me. I feel my cheeks flush as I walk around him to climb inside. Do friends hold car doors open for each other? I suppose they do. . . this is confusing.
He climbs into the driver's seat and I am hit with the scent of him. Clean like soap with a hint of cologne and just . . .Chase. In close quarters. Messing with my sanity. “Where'd you say we were going again?”
He flashes a devilish grin at me and I'm overwhelmed by the way he makes me feel. “I didn't,” he replies and throws the truck in reverse, loving that I am clueless about his plans.
We drive down the lake road and then out of town. I can't help but sneak a peak over at Chase while he drives. He's so incredibly handsome and right now he seems so much like the boy I used to know. He's smiling slightly as he drives and it just feels so right to be with him like this. As he drives onto the highway, I watch his hands and arms work and admire the raw strength and beauty of the male form sitting beside me. I'm not even paying any attention to where we are going, which is pretty ridiculous considering it's a surprise, but I just can't pull my eyes away from him.
“Have you figured it out yet?” he grins as he glances over at me, catching me watching him. I shoot a quick look out the window then, to at least make it seem like I care where we are. We could have just been going for a ride in the truck and that would have been fine with me!
“Should I have figured it out? 'Cause I honestly have no clue,” I ask him. We are driving along the highway that leads south out of Wake Forest, but that doesn't give me any idea where we might be going.
“No, I'm just checking. You seem pretty deep in thought,” he smirks at me before returning his attention to the road. It's as if he knows that I've been lusting after him instead of trying to figure out where we are going. It can't be helped.
Finally after about a twenty minute ride, he pulls the truck off the highway at the entrance to a trailhead. He reaches behind his seat and pulls out a backpack that appears to be pretty full. “We're going hiking?” I ask. We'd done that quite a bit when we were younger. Usually closer to home and when the weather had cooled off some. I just love being outdoors, so it sounds like a good idea to me.
“We'll hike for a little bit, but there's more,” he assures me as we lock the truck up and put our backpacks on. “The bugs will walk away with us in there, so first, this,” he says as he holds up a can of bug repellent. He's right; the bugs in the woods around here are downright ridiculous.
Chase holds the can up, waiting for me to turn around so that he can spray the backs of my arms and legs. I do as he wishes and turn around, lifting my arms out to my sides. The spray is cool on my skin and I jump a bit when he finishes spraying and put his hands on my legs down near my ankles. I look over my shoulder to see what he is doing and he is grinning up at me as he uses his hands to spread the repellent around my skin. I'm warm suddenly and it has nothing to do with the temperature. I'm awfully glad I shaved my legs this morning. I notice his hands are warm and slightly rough with calluses as he rubs farther up my thighs. The heat of his palms at the bottom of my ass surprises me. I suck in a breath and am tempted to close my eyes, but it's over too soon as he stands up and runs his hands along my arms and up ont
o my shoulders and neck as well. I'm pretty sure I'd never been so thoroughly protected from bug bites before.
He's smiling like he knows exactly what that little display has just done to me. I can't bring myself to complain though. He sprays himself with the repellent then and sticks the can back in his pack.
“Ready?” he asks, holding his hand out to me again.
Chapter 12 - Chase
Ok, I'd be lying if I said I'm not copping a feel of Haylee's legs when I spread the bug repellent around with my hands. I feel her muscles flinch at first at my touch, but I think she kinda likes it. Maybe not quite as much as I do, but that's okay. I hold onto her little hand as we start out on the trail. After we are a couple hundred feet away from the truck, the trees begin to really thicken up and the sunlight that makes it through the canopy is very well filtered. It's fairly warm and muggy today, but it's better being in the shade, and I have really missed the smell of the forest.
We're quiet for a while, just holding hands and stepping carefully over the rocks that jut up and branches that stick out randomly across the well worn trail. “What are you thinking about?” I ask her as I glance over my shoulder at her. She smiles up at me and I feel my heart warm instantly at the sight of her beautiful smile.
“Just wondering what it is you have up your sleeve, Chase,” she replies and I laugh out loud a bit.
“Why would you think that about me?” I feign being hurt by her assumption, but I know she would know that I am joking.
“Because the boy I knew was always up to something!” she giggles and I like that she has referred to me as a boy in the past tense. “Whether it was playing pranks on people or helping me get back at the girls at dance for their latest insults against me.”
“I guess you're right, but I really just wanted to spend the day with you away from all the interruptions and just. . . have a good time,” I reply. I wander off the path for a second and pick a pretty blue wildflower and hand it to Haylee. She smiles at me and looks at the flower as though no one has ever given her one before. If that's the case, I plan to change that immediately. She's ahead of me now as we continue to walk and I like the view a hell of a lot better back here. The shorts she's wearing can hardly be considered shorts at all. They're so tiny and every once in a while as she steps up a bit, I can see the edge of her bottom just beneath them. I'm quickly learning that hiking with a hard on is not too comfortable.
“You should probably lead the way since you know where we're going,” she finally speaks up again.
“That's okay, I like the view better from back here. I'll tell you when we get to where we're going,” I tell her.
“What does that mean?” she asks me with a glance over her shoulder. I'm not sure if she really doesn't know or if she's fishing to hear me say it, but I can certainly oblige.
“Those shorts you're wearing are enough to cause bodily harm.”
She immediately reaches her hands back to touch her shorts and I smile at the sight. “What's wrong with them?” she asks, her hands still feeling along the denim barely covering her ass. She is so adorable and clueless.
“They are so short, I can't keep my eyes off of them as you walk, and I'm liable to smack right into a tree or something,” I explain and she stops just ahead of me. She spins around and strikes my chest with her little fist and then she can't keep the smile from her face any longer.
“You're such a pig,” she tells me. “How is that for bodily harm?”
I rub my palm over my shirt where her fist had connected with my chest. It doesn't hurt, but I'm not above milking the situation. “I brought a first aid kit with me. I think you're gonna have to rub some ointment on it.” She rolls her eyes at me and tries to hide the way her cheeks flush by turning back around and continuing on up the trail. I'm thinking she is starting to get the idea that we are more than just friends. Mission almost accomplished.
It ends up being about a forty-minute hike until the trees begin to thin out a bit and more of the hot sun makes its way down to us. “Is that Falls River still?” Haylee asks when we can see the water up ahead.
“Yup, we're just downstream a little farther than we used to go. I asked around in town this morning for a good, secluded hiking spot that ended at the river,” I explain and we stop once we get to the edge of the water. It flows slowly past us and is probably close to twenty feet across at this spot.
“It's so pretty,” she murmurs as she takes in the scenery around us. Yup, this is pretty much the perfect spot for a picnic. I sat my pack down and pull out a big red blanket and spread it over the tall grass beside the river. “A picnic?” she asks as I begin taking out containers of food. She's smiling as she sits down on the blanket beside me, so that's a good sign. Not all girls would be too happy about a surprise hike and picnic, but Haylee's different than most girls and that's one of the many things I love about her. We're warm from the hike and now the sun is beating down, but I've picked a spot that is pretty well shaded by a few nearby trees.
“So what's for lunch?” she asks as she looks around at the spread of food. I've probably packed enough for four guys to eat their fill, but I wanted to make sure there is plenty of food that she likes and I wonder if her tastes have changed over the last few years.
“I made turkey hoagies, potato salad, fresh fruit salad, and brought some apple juice,” I reply, and her face lighrs up at the mention of apple juice. She'd loved it when we were kids and, by the look on her face, she still does now.
“You actually made this stuff?” she asks with an expression of doubt.
I clasp my hands over my heart dramatically. “Man, Hayles, do you really think so low of me?” I'm just messing with her because it's so much fun. “I did make all this stuff. With a little help from Mrs. Michaels,” I admit with a grin. She smiles back and holds my gaze for a moment. I feel something pass between us and I want to hang onto the moment somehow.
“Well, pass the food already. I'm starving,” she exclaims and reaches for the big container of fruit. We sit and eat our lunch for a while, talking about what a perfect day it has turned out to be.
“You did bring your swimsuit, right?” I ask. “I'm planning on going for a swim in the river when we're finished here.”
“What if I didn't?” she cocks her head to the side in a challenge. The way she looks then is just so damn adorable.
“No worries if you didn't. It's pretty isolated here. We can just go skinny dipping,” I throw back at her. Little does she know I wouldn't mind that one bit. She smirks up at me and then without any warning she reaches down and grabbing the hem of her tank top, pulls it right over her head. She's definitely been messing with me because she's wearing a little, red bikini top. I can't tear my eyes away from the smooth swell of her breasts and her sun-bronzed skin now on display for me. She reaches for another berry as though nothing has changed. That river had better be shockingly cold to keep my arousal from becoming downright painful.
“Oh, I brought something to show you,” she says then and reaches over for her backpack. Many images spring into my mind then as I watch her unzip her pack, none of which are realistic of course. She finally pulls out what looks like an envelope and hands it to me with a tentative smile on her perfect lips.
“What's this?” I ask, my brows pulled together as I take the envelope and flip it over. Realization washes over me as I look at the writing on the front--my writing. Has she been messing with me about not having gotten my letters? I look up at her with a confused expression.
“I just found it this morning. All of them actually,” she starts. “I had this nagging feeling ever since you told me about them. I mean, how could that many letters just disappear? So after dance this morning, I went into my mom's room and started looking around for anything out of the ordinary. I found a shoebox under her bed with all of your letters in it.”
I look from her to the envelope in my hand again. I still don't understand. What were my letters doing in her mom's room and why had she neve
r read them?
“I only had a chance to read that first one this morning,” her voice is quiet now. “Mom caught me in her room and I demanded to know why she'd done it. I mean, why would she keep your letters from me?”
This is something I am wondering myself. “She explained that she'd kept the first couple because I was still so upset about your leaving. She was afraid they would upset me all over again. Then she didn't know how to explain that she'd kept them at first, and then when Dad died, she basically forgot all about them. She kept telling me that she is so sorry and that she hadn't meant to hurt me. That she'd been trying to protect to me. But I yelled at her and stormed out of the room. I am so mad, Chase. I just never even imagined my mom doing something like that.”
My mind is swirling like a tornado right now. She said that she'd read this one. The first one that I'd written to her. I am wracking my brain trying to remember exactly what I had said in that first letter. I'm fairly certain that I had told her how I felt. She says that she'd read it, so that means that she knows. . .
“I'm so sorry, Chase,” she says quietly and I can see that her eyes have filled with tears. What is she sorry for? My heart is thundering inside my chest. Is she telling me that she's sorry that she doesn't feel the same way?
“What are you sorry for?” I ask and I swear my voice trembles. For years now I had believed that she didn't feel the same way about me. Then when I got back here, I found out that I still don't know because she'd never gotten my letters and didn't know how I felt. Now she knows, and I'm afraid to get my heart broken all over again.
Second Chances Page 10