I am drunk on her kisses. Her tongue is tangling with mine and there are these little moans coming from the back of her throat. I can't get enough of her. My hands travel up the satiny, warm skin of her legs from her knees beside me. I let my hands keep going, waiting to run into the material of her shorts, but I'm already all the way up her thighs and to the sweet curve of her ass before I finally meet up with her shorts. Holy hell! I groan and force myself to pull back.
“What are you wearing?” I whisper and I almost can't think straight. My blood is all in my groin and she looks incredible straddling my lap, her face awash with lust.
She furrows her brow at me. “Pajamas, why?” Does she really have to ask? I'm on fire here and her little outfit is going to be the death of me. I let my hands settle onto the swell of her ass, sticking out from beneath the soft cotton and raise an eyebrow. I don't want her to move from where she is, but I desperately want to see her standing with her back to me wearing these little things.
She giggles and lets her forehead fall against my chest. “They're just shorts, Chase, and I was in bed. I wasn't expecting company. It's not like I wear them around town or anything.”
“Don't get me wrong here,“ I say, my hands still enjoying the feel of her flesh, too much probably, “I love them and you will have to show me what they look like when you're standing up later.” I feel her about to get up, but I lock my arms around her. “Later,” I emphasize and she grins and bites down on her bottom lip. She has no clue what she's doing to me.
I lean forward and nibble at her bottom lip, my hands still enjoying the amount of skin these shorts expose. She kisses the corner of my mouth and then along the line of my jaw as she lets her small hands rest against my shoulders. I can feel her little tongue working its way down my throat as I let my head fall back a bit and my eyes close. I'm vaguely aware that her hands have left my shoulders but she's still kissing my neck, so I'm in a fog. She pulls back from me a bit and I look up to see her arms crossed over her chest, about to pull her tank off.
I grab her arms to stop her and she looks at me confused. “Hayles. . .what are you doing?” With her arms still crossed and the fact that she's obviously not wearing a bra, her boobs are pushed up and together, and I can clearly see how firm her nipples are beneath the thin material. Wait, why am I stopping her again?
“What does it look like I'm doing?” she asks softly and I see doubt creep over her face.
“I need you to understand that I didn't come here tonight expecting anything,” I start and she drops her arms back to her sides and glances down to the bed. Damn it! She thinks I'm rejecting her and that can't be any further from the truth! With my index finger beneath her chin, I turn her back to look at me. “Hear me out, Hayles. I just want you to know that I'm not expecting anything from you. I just wanted to be with you tonight even if you just slept in my arms all night. Make no mistake though, I want you. . .badly.” I glance down at my lap as evidence and she finally smiles a little again. “I don't want to rush you into anything. I'm coming back, so there's no hurry to do this tonight.”
“What if I want to?” she asks, her voice barely more than a whisper.
“Are you sure, because. . . ?” she cuts me off with her lips on mine. “We'll have all the time in the world when I get back,” I still throw out there. I need to be sure that she has every chance to say no and that she knows that I'll stop at any time.
She reaches her hands up on either side of my neck and nibbles on her bottom lip as she looks me right in the eye. I have to shift beneath her a bit; my cock is getting downright urgent with want and talking about it isn't helping that situation any. The last thing in the world I want to do is rush her into this.
“Chase, I'm not still a virgin because I am trying to save myself for anything,” she starts as I stare into those blue eyes that look hauntingly grey right now. “I just never connected with a guy enough to have any desire to take things that far. I know now that it is because I am in love with you. I love you, Chase. I want you. I want you to make love to me tonight”
Her words are quickly unraveling my resolve. I can't tell her no. I didn't want to tell her no. I'd truly had no intentions of doing this tonight, but now it's all I can think about. I'm swimming in this primal need to claim her, make her mine. “We can wait til I get back for your first time. . . “ I still just have to give her every chance to say no.
She smirks and slides her knees farther toward my back, bringing her delicious body closer to mine. Too close. . .
“We can have my second, and third, and fourth times when you get back,” she whispers against my lips as she reaches down between the millimeter of space separating our chests to grab hold of the bottom of my shirt. She's a damn temptress! She pulls the shirt up and over my head, tossing it behind her. I reach down then and pull her tank up and over her head like she'd tried to do earlier. The sight of her naked chest right in front of me flips some kind of switch inside of me. I bring my arms up behind her back to support her and I have her on her back on the mattress before she can even blink.
I see the look of surprise on her face as I lean down on my elbows, which are now on either side of her. I bring my lips to hers briefly and then I begin trailing kisses along her jaw, down her neck, and all the places I've fantasized about kissing her for so long. The warmth of her skin against mine is intoxicating. I run my tongue along the spot behind her ear and am rewarded with a gasp of pleasure, and her hands tightening in my hair. I pull back just to look at her beautiful face. She opens her eyes and I smile at her through a haze of lust. I need to make sure she is still okay with this and the look on her face tells me all I need to know. I press my lips near the base of her throat and slowly make my way down to the soft, round globe of one breast. I let the warmth of my breath hover over her and then I flick my tongue over her nipple. Her body jumps beneath me and I look up to find her looking right back at me.
“You did that on purpose,” she accuses, our gazes locking and I just smile before I cover her entire nipple with my mouth. I hear her head fall back against the pillow and I reach my hand up to work over her other nipple. She is making small sounds that are making it really difficult for me to take this slow. I continue my attention on one breast while I start to pull down those tiny shorts of hers with the other. Once I have her naked, I stand up to pull down my shorts and I watch as her eyes take in my entire body. I look at her lying there completely naked before me and I swear I feel tears sting my eyes. She's just that beautiful and she's choosing to be with me.
“You're so beautiful, Hayles,” I tell her. My voice is thick with emotion as I climb back in bed with her.
She raises up on her elbows as I cover her body with mine and kisses me with an urgency that I understand all too well. Her hands trail down my back and then down my chest and stomach like she's trying to memorize my body. Every single place her hands touch feels like it's on fire.
“Are you sure . . . ?” I manage to eke out between kisses. I so do not want to do something that she will regret because there's no going back.
She leans back and weaves her fingers into my hair again. “Chase, I am one hundred and ten percent sure,” she whispers.
“I've heard it hurts,” I say, carefully watching her eyes. I've never been with a virgin before and I'm terrified of hurting this girl who's lying beneath me, trusting me with her whole body. This girl who means everything to me.
“I've heard that too,” she says calmly and she appears very sure of her decision. “I'm a tough girl, Chase. I can handle it and I trust you.” I let my forehead fall gently against her shoulder. She doesn't realize that that's exactly what I'm afraid of.
“I can't hurt you, Hayles. It will destroy me,” I feel like a complete pussy right now, but I need her to understand how I feel. “I've never made love to anyone before.” Her head snaps up and she looks at me in utter confusion.
“But you said you'd. . .” I cut her off because I know what she's going to say. “I'v
e had sex, Haylee. This is completely different. I never cared about the girls I slept with before.”
“So I'm kinda like your first too,” she says, and a huge smile spreads across her face. This girl is amazing. She should have turned and run away from me so many different times already and instead she's offering me the most intimate expression of love.
“I guess so,” I smile back at her and she uses those fingers of hers in my hair to pull me back down to her.
“I'm not. . . gonna change. . . my mind,” she whispers between her kisses.
Chapter 17 - Haylee
When I pull Chase in my window, I am beyond happy to see him again and something starts to burn even stronger inside me. I feel it everywhere and I want him in my bed in the worst way.
I'm terrified of what the future holds. I'm scared to death that for some unforeseen reason, Chase will never come back to Wake Forest. I know a lot of that is rooted in the past but I can't get rid of the feeling. I'm worried that things will be difficult for him when he gets back to California and he'll start using cocaine again. I know I have to trust what he's said when he tells me that he's done, because I see in his eyes that he means it. He's seen what it can really do. For once in my life though, I'm going to just take what I have in this very moment and make the best of it.
I feel so powerful when he makes the comment about liking my shorts. He makes me feel beautiful inside and out. I feel the sting of rejection though, when he stops me from taking my shirt off. I'm afraid that, in my inexperience, I've done something wrong, or that he doesn't want me that way. He finally makes it clear that he's worried about me regretting the decision to have sex for the first time tonight, but that isn't going to happen. I am sure of that. I love the feeling of his bare chest against mine. He's so firm and hard, and I am small and soft in comparison. I've never been more aware of the physical differences between men and women, and how much I love his utterly male body. He lets his mouth travel down my neck and over my collarbone. I'm suddenly aware of the warmth of his breath on my nipple and how amazing it feels, then he flicks his tongue over it and my body flinches of its own accord.
I glance down and am met by his piercing blue eyes and his panty-melting smile looking back up at me. “You did that on purpose,” I accuse. He doesn't deny it as he smirks and returns his mouth to my breast. Then his hand is on my other nipple and I'mtransported somewhere else altogether. I'm acutely aware of him ever so slowly working my shorts and panties down, his warm, moist lips trailing tiny kisses as he goes and then suddenly my body feels cold in his absence. He is standing beside the bed as he pulls down his own shorts and boxers in one swift movement. I let my eyes wander from his beautiful face, down his perfectly sculpted chest, and narrow waist to his frighteningly large, painful-looking erection. It seems physically impossible for that to fit inside of me.
“You are so beautiful, Hayles,” he says, his voice thick with emotion, before he climbs back into the bed with me. The heat of his skin back in contact with my own has me sighing inside. I could spend the rest of my life naked, here in this bed with him, and be blissfully happy doing it. .
He's worried about whether or not I really want to do this, and I do my best to assure him that I am, in fact, very ready. He's also scared of hurting me, but I'm not worried about that even a little bit. Women all over the world lose their virginity every day and go on to have sex for the rest of their lives. It can't be that bad, and I can't imagine sharing this with anyone other than Chase. I've loved him for so long.
I pull him back down to kiss me then, and I can feel in his kisses that he has finally relaxed. His lips are softer, but still filled with need and his hand trails down over my breast and stomach, tickling slightly on the way until it's between my legs. He takes his time letting his fingers explore all around my sex before he finally slips one finger inside of me. I gasp. Holy shit! I've never felt a sensation as powerful as this. He hesitates then to see how I'm handling it. My eyes are closed, but my mouth hangs open and I'm sure I'm panting. Slowly he begins moving his finger in and out of me and I think I'm going to explode with sensation. If just a finger feels this incredible, I'm afraid I'm going to wake my mom up for sure when he actually puts his dick inside me. He adds another finger and I can't hold still any longer. My hips buck upward to match his rhythm, and I probably should feel awkward, but I don't. I desperately need more of him.
“Chase. . .” I gasp. Something's building low in my belly and I want him to move faster. I need him to move faster.
“I got ya,” I hear him whisper and then the building sensation explodes inside of me. My whole body is contracting and I can't stop the noises that are coming out of my mouth. He places his other hand gently over my mouth to muffle the sound. As I start to drift back from the other planet I've just been on, he wraps himself around me and kisses up my neck settling back on my lips. My chest is heaving up to meet his and he pulls back to look down at me.
“That was so fucking hot, Hayles,” he pants and I notice that his chest is rising and falling rapidly as well. His eyes are half-lidded and he looks so incredibly sexy. He slides over to the side of the bed and reaches down toward the floor. My brain isn't working at its normal speed, but I finally realize he's reaching for his shorts to grab a condom. He rises back up and tears the foil packet with his teeth. I cringe slightly at the level of skill he does that with. I need to change my train of thought . . . I look down as he sits back on his heels and rolls the latex down the length of his impressive cock. Okay, I am officially distracted from whatever I'd been thinking before. He leans back down and gives me another powerful kiss.
He reaches one hand down and I feel him nudging at the entrance to my sex. I probably should be nervous, but that just isn't one of the emotions that I am feeling.
“I love you, Haylee,” he says with his eyelids at half-mast. He'd used my full name, which he almost never does.
“I love you too,” I barely have the voice to whisper. He begins to ease inside of me and his eyes are riveted on mine. “Please tell me if it's too much.” I nod slightly and I feel him push in just a fraction further. There's a brief stinging sensation, but I fight to keep anything different from registering on my face. I can see the restraint in his taut muscles. “It's okay. . . I'm okay,” I assure him. He slowly slides the rest of the way inside. I moan and my eyes roll closed. There's a wonderfully full feeling inside of me and I've never realized that I felt empty before. I open my eyes again to look up at him. His face is still tense and his muscles are knotted. He's still holding back.
“Let go, Chase. . .I'm okay,” I whisper and he closes his eyes and grits his teeth as he begins to withdraw. I let my eyes close again as well and this time as he slides back inside me, it's quicker and a deep moan reverberates from inside his chest.
“You feel so good, Hayles,” he murmurs as he begins to pick up speed. My body is beginning to adjust to him, stretching to allow him even deeper inside of me. His movements are quickening and I am lost in a sea of new sensation. I reach my hands up and cling to the hard muscles of his shoulders, and my hips are once again lifting up, as if on their own, to meet him. With one hand, he lifts one of my legs up around his waist and my other leg follows suit. I dig my heels into his backside and he's slamming into me now. Every part of my body feels like there is an electric current flowing through it and that tightening sensation is building low in my belly again. Our bodies are literally joined but somehow I still want desperately to be even closer to him. Keeping his rhythm, he brings his torso closer so that our bodies are touching in so many places, as if he'd read my mind.
Suddenly, my body lets go of that building sensation, and I start to cry out, but he quickly covers my mouth with his and swallows the sounds of my pleasure. I feel my body contracting around him and his breathing is furious and erratic. “Oh God,” he gasps as he slams into me twice more and then, buried to the hilt, his whole body goes rigid and he groans out my name. I've never before felt so full of love in my
life. I'm panting and still feeling the tremors inside of me, as he relaxes and smiles down at me.
His eyes almost look like they're glowing in the moonlight and the look on his face actually steals my breath away. He leans down and kisses me long and hard, our bodies still connected.
“God, Hayles, that was. . .” he's still struggling for breath, “. . .that was incredible.” With one hand he smoothes the hair back from my face. I have nothing to compare it to, but what I just experienced was so far beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
He withdraws from me and quickly, and far too expertly, removes and disposes of the condom. He's back beside me in no time, pulling the sheets up to cover us. He lays on his back and pulls me tightly against his side. My head rests on his chest, which is still rising and falling rapidly, and I wrap my arm around his waist.
“Was it different?” I whisper as I tilt my head up to look at him.
“Doesn't even compare,” he tells me, rubbing small circles with his hand along my upper arm. “Are you okay?” I can see the concern return to his face as he comes down from the high.
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