I smiled at the warm feeling that spread through me.
She was dancing with some guy and I didn’t want to approach her until she was alone. Suddenly, I realized just who that guy was and my smile quickly disappeared. I watched as Matt let his hands rest against her hips. He was leaning down and whispering something to her. I have no clue what he was saying, but Lilly seemed to be enjoying it.
She must have felt my gaze on her because she looked up and straight into my eyes. I wanted to go over and rip her out of his arms. I wanted to take him by the neck and choke the life out him, but more than anything I wanted to be the one she was dancing with. Seeing her there with his hands all over her literally knocked the breath out of me.
I impatiently waited until they were finished dancing and then made my way over to where they were standing. Matt turned around and smiled at me before I grabbed his arm and pulled him closer to me.
“What the hell, Matt?” I hissed.
“Dev! What’s up, bro? I didn’t know you were gonna be here. It’s a nice party, huh?” he smirked, letting me know he was doing it on purpose.
I looked over at Lilly in question. She stared back and our eyes caught before she put her head down. I turned my attention back to Matt. I could feel my pulse in my temples and the heat on my face.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked as I tugged on Matt’s arm again.
He pulled his arm back and gave me a strange look. He turned back to Lilly and grabbed her hand. I watched as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. I wanted to rip his face off. The flirty smile he threw at her made my stomach turn. I knew exactly what he was up to and there was no way in hell I’d let that happen.
“I’ll be right back, sweetheart,” he whispered to Lilly.
A pretty little blush covered her face and my anger spiked. I practically dragged him to the other side of the room and out of Lilly’s hearing range.
“You better start talking,” I growled.
He pulled his arm out of my iron grasp.
“What the hell’s your problem, Devin?”
“Why are you here with Lilly? Better yet—why are you even here at all?”
“I was invited. I’m her date.”
“The hell you are! You stay away from her. I’m serious, Matt. You stay the hell away from her!” I yelled a little too loudly.
A few of the guests turned and looked our way. Thankfully the shitty music they were playing helped to drown out some of what we were saying. Matt leaned in so that no one could hear.
“Look, man, you blew it. Get over it. Just stand back and watch the master work.”
Even though I wanted to knock him the hell out, I knew I couldn’t, not there, not at Lilly’s birthday party in front of her friends and family. I wasn’t going to give those snooty bastards a reason to look down on my any more than they already did.
“You need to go. You need to leave now,” I said as calmly as I could manage.
“Oh come on, Devin. Don’t act like you weren’t trying to get in her pants. I know you, dude. We’re cut from the same mold. Of all people, don’t even try to play me. I know the way the game is played,” he chuckled.
I was on my last thread. It took all the self-control I had to keep from busting him in the face with my fist. I took a deep breath and then turned my attention to where Lilly was standing.
She stared back at me with innocent brown eyes and I knew that no matter what I did, I’d make sure to keep Matt away from her. I also knew that no matter what, I wouldn’t fight at her birthday party. I wouldn’t ruin her night or embarrass her. The next words he uttered crushed those plans.
“You know… fat girls have low self-esteem,” he slyly whispered. “Lilly’s a pretty girl, if I play my cards right, I could be in that tonight,” he leaned away and laughed at his joke.
Fuck it!
I don’t remember what happened next, I think I blacked out from all the anger that crashed into me. All I know is when I finally came to I was standing over a bleeding Matt and there were four strange men pulling me away from him. I tried desperately to break away from their hold so that I could kill him. Another man came over and helped to keep me back.
I could hear them telling me to calm down. Some woman was telling me to leave. There were hushed whispers all throughout the room. All I could think about was killing Matt with my bare hands.
“I’ll kill you!” I heard myself growl.
Females appeared from all around with towels to help control the blood that was pouring from Matt’s nose.
“You broke my damn nose!” I heard him sputter.
I tried again to break through the men holding me. My anger just wouldn’t go away. I’m usually calm and laid-back, but for some reason, Matt’s words just made me snap.
“I’ll break more than your nose when I get close to you again, you son of a bitch!”
Suddenly, Lilly appeared in front of me with disappointment in her eyes and I instantly stopped. Her friend Shannon was next to her staring at me like I was some kind of monster.
“Devin, what’s wrong with you?” Lilly whispered in a rush. “Please, stop.”
The begging look in her eyes brought reality back to me. She was embarrassed. Her face was red and she was cautiously looking around the room at the people who were staring at the scene playing out in front of them.
“Please leave—please, just leave,” she asked softly.
She looked up at me and the softness in her eyes calmed me even more. In a daze, I nodded and I felt the arms holding me back loosen. Before I left, I leaned over her so that only she could hear me.
“Get away when you can and meet me outside, I’ll wait all night if I have to. I miss you so much,” I ran my fingers down her cheek.
I’m not sure why I did it. I needed something to hold me in place, and her face seemed to be the only thing I could focus on without flipping out again. The softness of her cheek against my rough fingers kept me in check.
I gave her a pleading look and then turned and walked away.
I didn’t realize until I was outside leaning up against my car that I actually meant what I’d said to her. I did miss her. Seeing her all hugged up with Matt let me know it. It also let me know how much I cared about her. I didn’t want her to get hurt by me or any other asshole around here.
Seeing Matt with his filthy hands on her made me sick, and hearing him talk about doing things with her made me irate, madder than I’ve been in a very long time. That kind of anger hadn’t washed through me since that day in the bank when the bastard of a bank manager down talked my family.
No one talks badly or hurts the people I care about. When they do, I see red, and that’s it. Maybe I’m more fucked up than I thought.
After sitting outside for about thirty minutes, I watched from afar as Matt left the house, got into his car, and then left. It took everything I had not to go over and beat the hell out of him again.
It felt like forever, but soon I heard the front door open again and I watched as Lilly stepped outside and looked around. She spotted me and then walked toward me with an angry stride.
She looked so nice all dressed up with her hair curled. Once she was close enough I could smell vanilla and cherries, and I smiled to myself.
“You think this is funny?” she asked, outraged.
She used a finger to jab me in my chest and it turned me on. I liked that she wasn’t afraid of me. She poked me again and I grabbed her small hand in mine.
“Well, do you?” Her angry eyes flashed.
“No.”
“Then why are you smiling? I could smack that smile right off of your face, you know that?” she huffed, and then blew her bangs out of her reddened face.
The thought of her being angry enough to smack me was making me hard for some reason. She was a lioness, a tiny lioness, but a fierce one still.
“You smell good.”
I watched as her blazing eyes softened.
“Don’t
change the subject,” she said as she broke our eye contact.
“What were you doing with Matt? You know what he’s about, Lil. He’s after one thing and one thing only.”
“I don’t know,” she sighed as she ran her fingers through her hair. “It just kind of happened. I didn’t invite him, Shannon did. Why do you even care, Devin?”
Good question. I ran it through my head over and over again. There was only one answer and that was the truth. The moisture in my mouth disappeared. I tried to swallow and almost choked on nothing.
“I care about you, Lilly.” Those tiny words seemed to take all of my oxygen as I spoke them. I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe, like saying things that involved feelings would be the death of me. “I don’t want to see you get hurt and if you keep playing around with men like Matt, you will.”
Her shoulders relaxed a bit. “You mean men like you?”
“Yes, definitely stay away from men like me,” I chuckled softly.
If only she knew how serious that sentence was. Stay away from me. I wanted to scream at her all the things that were blatantly obvious to me. I was bad for her. I was going to hurt her in the near future and I knew that coming into this gig, but I had no choice. There was nothing else I could do.
She smiled at me and it was such a sweet, heart-shattering smile. For a second, I couldn’t do anything but smile back at her.
“I missed you, too,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry about that night at the party. I think I may have had too much to drink. I mean—I understand if you don’t see me that way and I’m sorry for throwing myself at you like that. It’s so embarrassing.” Her face was blazing with humiliation. I watched as she awkwardly tried to think of something else to say. “So… friends?”
She held her hand out for me to shake on it.
I almost laughed out loud. She was so far from the truth that it wasn’t even funny. First of all, the fact that she was apologizing when I should be the one apologizing completely threw me for a loop. Secondly, she obviously had no clue how I really saw her. I thought she was sexy in her own little, sweet way and as a person she was amazing. Yeah, she’s a little chunky, and yeah, a month ago that really wasn’t my thing, but now she’s beautiful to me, inside and out.
I grabbed her hand and slowly pulled her to me.
“I’m the one that should be sorry,” I said as I wrapped my arms around her.
“Why should you be sorry?” she whispered in that innocent, tempting kind of way that I can’t explain.
I could feel her nervously shaking against me and it pushed me harder. Although I knew that I shouldn’t, I had to. I couldn’t take it anymore! She was too close and she smelt so good. She felt good in my arms and I missed her like crazy, like really, really missed her.
“I’m just sorry. Do me a favor and say you forgive me.”
I knew what I was asking her for. I was asking her to forgive me for what was to come. I just needed to hear her say it.
“I forgive you,” she smiled up at me.
I leaned down and kissed her without a care for anything. There was no shop and home loan that needed to be paid. There was no devious, rich-bitch mom on my back. There was just me and my sweet Lilly, and right then, in that moment, it was all I needed.
When I broke the kiss I looked down at her. Her eyes remained closed.
“Happy birthday, baby, I’m sorry I kind of ruined your party,” I said as I placed soft kisses on her cheeks and nose.
It was a new low for playboy Devin and I liked it.
“You didn’t ruin it, you made it perfect,” I felt her arms get tighter around my neck.
I kissed her again and for just that moment, decided to forget about everything but her.
Fifteen
Meet the Michaels
“Are you gonna be like this all week or are you gonna snap out of it soon?” Shannon asked with a smile.
I continued to stare out of the store window and daydream of Devin. It had been two weeks since my birthday party and things couldn’t be more perfect. We spent hours on the phone every day and when we weren’t on the phone or at work, we were together.
Some nights he would come to my apartment and we’d watch movies all cuddled up on the couch. Sometimes we’d go to dinner, some nights we’d stay in and make a mess in my kitchen cooking things we had no clue how to cook. I’d never smiled so much in my life. I’d never laughed so much in my life. I’ve never been this happy… ever.
On game night I included him and he fit right in. My friends adored him. Randy drooled over him and later told me that he thought Devin was a hot piece of ass.
After everyone left and Shannon suspiciously got too tired to stay awake another minute, Devin and I cleaned the messy apartment. He looked so cute loading the dishwasher with a little dish cloth slung over his shoulder.
“What a good little maid you are,” I joked.
He smirked at me with his all-too sexy self. All the crazy “I want to jump his bones” feelings came crashing over me. Over the last couple of weeks there were lots of smiles and jokes. There was tons of tickling and cuddling and even though we both pretended it wasn’t there, there was so much tension. No matter what, I didn’t want to seem like I was throwing myself at him in any way and even though he never said it, I could tell that he was trying especially hard to keep his distance.
It didn’t make any sense to me. We were both adults and I can look at him and tell he was experienced. I never asked how many women he’d been with, but it was obvious from his mannerisms that the man knew his way around a woman’s body, no map needed. He had his own inner sense of direction and I’d love nothing more than to let him find his way through my valley.
When all was cleaned I walked him to the front door.
“Text me when you get home and let me know you made it safely,” I said.
“OK,” he yawned.
“If you’re too tired, you can crash here. I can get you a blanket and you can sleep on the couch if you want.”
“Nah, I need to get home. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow at the shop and I wanna get an early start. Goodnight. Sweet dreams, baby,” he whispered as he gave me the traditional kiss on the cheek.
His lips warmed the side of my face and I felt his breath against my ear. The man was making me crazy. Without thinking, I reached up and rested my hand against his cheek. I ran my thumb across his lips—his light mustache tickled the tip of my thumb. His eyes connected with mine and all time stopped.
All too soon I snatched my hand away.
“Goodnight,” I said.
When he left I closed my door, made sure everything was off, and then got ready for bed. Thirty minutes later, I was snuggled up in my bed when I got a text. I picked up the phone and read it.
I’m home, but I wish I was with you.
I did indeed have sweet dreams that night.
It was exactly a week later that Devin took me to his house for the first time. We were out and about when he realized that he’d forgotten his wallet. He didn’t seem too happy about having to go all the way back to his house, but we made the thirty minute trip from Charleston to Walterboro anyway.
It was a cute little country house. The huge, screened-in front porch took over much of the front yard. There was a short driveway that met what looked to be a converted garage and overgrown gardens with broken garden statues. Sure it could use some maintenance, but it felt comfy. It felt like a home should feel. It was everything I imagined it would be.
Behind the house, led by a long gravel road that ran beside the house, was a massive garage. There were a few broken down cars waiting to go in and old tires lying around. I could smell the motor oil and rubber from the front yard and it instantly reminded me of Devin. It was weird to see where he worked and lived, but it somehow made me feel closer to him. I liked it.
There wasn’t anyone home, so I didn’t feel so nervous when he asked me if I wanted to come in for a minute. His house was welcoming and warm. I fol
lowed him to his bedroom and stood in the doorway while he searched his room for his wallet.
I couldn’t help but smile. The room was so…Devin. There was a big bed in the middle of the room with green bedding. There were car pictures on the wall and a pin up calendar that I couldn’t help but notice. I wanted to hate the skinny sex kitten that stared back at me from the calendar, but she was just too damn pretty to hate.
Devin noticed what I was staring at and for a second I thought I saw him blush.
“Ah, here it is!” he said as he held up his wallet.
He spun around to face me and no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t wipe the goofy smile off my face.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“Nothing, it’s just this room is so…you. It’s exactly how I pictured it in my mind.”
“You’ve pictured my bedroom in your mind?” he asked with a smirk.
He tilted his brow, questioning me in his all-too sexy way that drives me crazy.
I felt my face heat up. Devin walked closer and stood in front of me.
“Have you?” he asked again and his voice was lower, darker.
He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear and then let his fingertip run down the side of my neck.
“I—I—don’t,” I stuttered.
I could think of nothing else to say. Once again I was knocked speechless. Real nice! I might as well tell him that I’ve imagined him naked in his bed at night.
He cupped the back of my neck and moved a little closer.
You have, haven’t you?” He moved closer like a predator on the prowl. I had never felt so small, as his large frame overwhelmed me.
“Tell me,” he whispered against the side of my mouth. His lips tickled before I felt his hot tongue run along the seam of my lips.
“Yes,” I blurted out.
My eyes fluttered shut and I knew I was a goner. Man he was good at this stuff. I was way out of my league with this sex crap.
“When you imagine my bedroom, am I in my bed?” I felt his other hand work its way up my side.
“Sometimes,” I squeaked.
“Well, sometimes, when you picture me in my bed, am I alone or are you with me?”
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