Quest of Honor

by Ellie St. Clair

  Eleanor leaned back slightly, presenting her breasts to him as though she might distract him from the question. Closing his eyes briefly, Thomas clenched his teeth and forced his body to stay entirely still. He had to hear those words from her. He had to know that she wanted this as much as he. He had to let her see him as he was, a man who would not simply do exactly as she wished.

  “Thomas,” she murmured, reaching forward and taking one of his clenched hands in his. “You are strong, with impeccable self-control. It must be the Navy.” Her one eyebrow raised, she waited for him to take the bait, only to hear his steady breathing in response.

  “Very well,” she sighed, unable to wait for him any longer. She was desperate for his touch. “Yes, Thomas, I want you. I want this.” She looked up at him, feeling more vulnerable with him than she had ever felt before. “I should not feel this way but I cannot help myself.”

  Those were the words he’d been waiting for. With a groan, he began to kiss her once more as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her, pressing her breasts to the powerful chest she'd so recently admired.

  “Eleanor,” Thomas breathed, moving his hands down her shoulders to lightly touch her breasts. He was gentle with her, feeling a tenderness that he hadn’t expected. She gasped at his touch before her eyes began to close as she threw her head back. His mouth took the place of his hands, which trailed down her body until he reached her core.

  His touch ricocheted through her, heat pouring through her body and pooling deep inside. She began to rock her hips against him, her body moving of its own accord. Thomas knew what he was doing and she loved him for it.

  Barely able to open her eyes, she saw Thomas lift his face to hers, his jaw set. He was not taking his own pleasure, simply waiting for her. She wasn’t touching him at all, and she was more than sure that his body was crying out for it, but she could hardly move, tightening like a spring.

  “Kiss me, Thomas,” she whispered, reaching one hand to his face and pulling him gently towards her. His hands moved to knead her breasts as he kissed her, settling himself between her legs. He did not move at all, although it took everything within him to hold himself back.

  “Eleanor?” he asked, giving her the final opportunity to halt things. Instead, she opened her eyes and smiled at him, a clear sign that she wanted this. He could not wait any longer. Pushing into her, Thomas held himself in check, not wanting to rush this moment. He saw her eyes flutter closed again, as her mouth opened to expel a slight sigh. Slowly, he began to move, and with it came such an explosion of feeling that he had to catch his breath.

  Unable to help it, Eleanor let out a long, languid moan, the table rocking beneath her slightly as Thomas moved within her. It was all the encouragement Thomas needed, seeing her throw her head back and begin move her hips in time with his.

  His body burning, Thomas began to move faster, the sensation almost ending him then and there. But no, he would wait. He was unsure whether Eleanor had experienced any kind of pleasure the last time they had been together, but this time he was going to be completely sure that she experienced the same release as him. He did not want her to forget what they had shared, not ever.

  “Thomas!” Eleanor gasped, her back arched against the table as he moved in quicker strokes, touching her core with his long fingers.

  At his touch, Eleanor shattered into a thousand pieces, letting out a long, intense cry of bliss as she grasped what she'd been waiting for. Thomas pushed in once, twice, then let himself go, joining her on a wave of pleasure as exhaustion rippled through him.

  “I think I must love you,” Eleanor whispered, her eyes still closed as her body hummed with pleasure. “Whatever are we to do, Thomas?”

  Eleanor pushed herself carefully from Thomas’ bed, giving him one long look before reaching for the quill and parchment she’d seen on the writing table. Writing him a letter seemed the best way to explain things, whilst giving him the option to return to her should he choose.

  She could hardly believe that words of love had slipped from her mouth, given that she was not entirely sure what it was she was feeling for the captain. At that precise moment, the way forward had made itself entirely clear and it was only now that she was able to follow through. It was taking a risk, that was for certain, but Eleanor could not bear the thought of leaving him, never to see him again. She had seen him as he truly was, no longer swathed in the clothes of the Navy, and he had found his way into her heart. This was the only way to know for certain what he felt himself.

  “Goodbye Thomas,” she whispered, putting the parchment where he would see it. “I pray you come back to me.”

  18

  Eleanor picked up the key to the door, which was sitting on the table next to where she had written the letter. Perhaps Thomas trusted her to stay or, more likely, it was now a clear sign that if she chose to leave, he was not stopping her.

  She dressed and let herself out the door, taking one last look at Thomas, spread out on the bed in a deep sleep. After they had made love, he had cuddled her towards him almost unconsciously, whispering love words in her ear.

  The way he looked now tugged at her heart. He looked peaceful, free of the cares that weighed him down as a captain in the Navy. Should he not come for her, this is how she would remember him, instead of the tightly wound, brooding naval officer.

  She stealthily kept to the shadows as she found her way to the rowboats. She knew the Gunsway would be waiting in the caves near the port, and would be ready to sail once she made her way aboard. She knew it had trailed them from afar, just out of sight, but close enough to watch over her.

  She lowered the boat and jumped in without raising any alarm, but it wasn’t until she was well out of sight that she felt truly safe, despite the dark ocean around her. It was a clear night and her father had taught her well. Using the coastline in the distance and the stars above for guidance, she followed the direction to the Gunsway. When it came into view, a sense of peace and belonging came over her.

  The crew was ecstatic when she boarded the ship. Their respect for her had grown following her decision to give herself up to the Navy. Now her escape was another exploit that would be well remembered. Morgan joined her for a drink, and she recounted the entire experience — leaving out a few details.

  “I believe, Morgan,” she said, “That the days on the run from Captain Harrington may be over.”

  As he began to drink to her statement, she continued.

  “He will no longer need to search for us as I told him exactly where we’ll be.”

  He looked at her, astonished, before she explained, with a little more detail, Thomas’ own desires and the plan she had suggested to him.

  Thomas woke with a lightness in his heart. Before he could recall what had happened the night before, he felt the sensations of freedom and ease as he had not experienced in as long as he could remember.

  When last night’s pleasures came back to him, he grinned, and rolled over for Eleanor, only to find an empty space in his bed.

  His smile faded as he knew, without question, she was gone.

  The melancholy drifted back as he raised himself up onto his elbow and looked around him. Her clothes were gone, the key in its place but, he was willing to bet, the door unlocked. What a woman. She was wit and wisdom, fire and spirit. She was like no one he had ever met before. And she had chosen to leave him.

  He didn’t know how he would do it, but he vowed to himself to find her and prove to her that he was worthy of her. As he got out of bed and reached for his pants, he saw the note, beautifully written on a piece of his own parchment. His heart beat faster as he read:

  Dear Thomas,

  Our meeting may have been unconventional, but I believe our paths have always been destined to cross. Your spirit, the one you keep so hidden beneath all of your layers of angst, is as free as the one I was born with. I urge you, Thomas, whatever you choose to do in the future, do not let that spirit be crushed, but rather
, let it fly.

  While our time together has been short, it has been, to say the least, memorable beyond belief. Should we not meet again, I will hold the time with you in my heart forever.

  I have a confession to make. I have not been truthful with you, although I feel you know that already. Captain Adams, the pirate you have been chasing, was my father — my true father, who raised me after my mother did not want me. I grew up on the Gunsway, and have always been as true a member of the crew as any man.

  My father died after our run-in with the Savage Soul. I am unsure what ailment caused his death, but he died saving me from Captain Wayland. My father was a pirate, yes, but he was as good of a man as I will ever know.

  He named me Captain as he died, and the crew honored his wishes. It was my decision to give myself up to you, and when the crew came to collect their captain, it was me they were looking for.

  I did not wish to deceive you, Thomas, but you know I could not tell you the truth.

  I am telling you now because of what I feel in my heart for you, and because it seems you have lost your way. You yearn for adventure Thomas, for the love of the free and open seas, to go where you please and where the ocean takes you. Explore it with me, Thomas. Together we can see the world and everything it has to offer.

  I am giving you something with this letter. I am giving you my trust. I would love nothing more than for you to join me, but if you chose not to, I ask that you not come after me. While I would give myself over again if it meant saving my crew, I do not want them to be punished for a mistake I have made in giving you our location.

  Join me, Thomas. Leave behind the trappings of the Navy and become the man you were meant to be. I would be honoured if you were by my side. Find us in the Iron Caves.

  Love,

  Eleanor

  Thomas let the letter fall from his fingers to the floor. He had known she was a pirate but the captain!? Captain Adams? Questions floated through his mind as the magnitude of her lies were made clear to him. She had spun story after story to him, from the moment they met in the tavern at Port Royal to last night, when they had fallen asleep after making love. But why? And how did she not hate him after the many years he spent chasing her, her father, and her crew?

  She was a pirate captain. She was what people like him fought against. And he loved her.

  19

  “I don’t think he’s coming, Captain.”

  Eleanor shook her head, refusing to give up. “It’s been but three days.”

  “The crew are getting uneasy,” Morgan replied. “Dropping anchor for such a long time in one place isn’t always the wisest choice.”

  Sighing, Eleanor dropped her head, knowing that the first mate was right. She’d been waiting and hoping for Thomas to arrive, to throw off the chains of the British Navy and come to join her in the water but, as yet, there was no sign of him.

  “We will give it until sunset,” she said, heavily. “Prepare the ship. We weigh anchor in a few hours’ time.”

  The first mate shouted orders, which were greeted with cheers from the crew. Eleanor stayed where she was, her eyes searching the horizon for any sign of a boat. Her eyes dimmed as she thought of how she had left him, in the desperate hope that he would give up everything he knew to come and sail with her. He had wanted freedom and she had offered it – as well as her heart. Perhaps she had been mistaken in that regard. Perhaps he had never truly felt anything for her, using her only for a physical release.

  “I’ll be in my cabin,” she muttered dully to the first mate, walking away.

  “Captain!”

  A sudden shout stopped her from doing so, her hand on the door handle. “What is it?”

  “It be a boat.”

  Her heart lurched, and she raced to the other side of the ship, peering out across the water.

  “Eleanor!” she heard the man shout, his strong arms pulling the oars through the water. “Eleanor!”

  “Help him aboard,” she ordered, remembering just in time that she had to keep her head in front of the crew. “The minute he’s aboard, everyone is to go below deck.” Her eyes narrowed as she glared at the crew, not expecting anyone to question her. “This is to be a private conversation.”

  Maintaining her composure, she stood tall and waited for Thomas to climb on board, giving him a slight nod to let him know that, while she welcomed him, she had to wait until the crew were gone.

  “You did not bring anyone with you, I hope?” she asked, as the last of her crew scurried away. “The Navy will not be appearing on the horizon?” Her heart thumped as she took him in. He appeared very different from the last time she had seen him, looking more relaxed and calm, as though this was what he had been waiting for. Still, she didn’t allow herself to hope, not yet, that he was here for her heart, and not for her capture. Should he have come all this way only to take her away as a pirate captain, everything would be lost.

  “Eleanor,” he croaked, his voice breaking with emotion as he reached for her. “I did not think I would see you again.”

  "I see you found my note," Eleanor murmured, her resolve slowly beginning to weaken as she glanced over her shoulder to ensure there was no crew left aboard before allowing him to take her hand. Sparks shot through her as their fingers met, the longing in his eyes echoed in her own heart.

  “I could hardly believe it,” he admitted, shaking his head. “When you told me of your father’s death and how you had taken on his mantle, I will confess to being angry over the deception. I wanted to burn your note, along with any memory of you.” A rueful smile appeared on his face. “Thankfully, my heart would not let me.”

  She let out a long breath of relief. “You know why I could not tell you of my true identity? I did not trust you then.”

  “And now?” he asked, a hopeful look in his eyes.

  Eleanor smiled, stepping back and dropping his hand. “You have left the Navy, have you not?”

  He nodded. “I have. You are the only one who has ever been able to see into my heart. When you offered me freedom, away from the trappings of the Navy, I could not help but consider it.”

  “And what of your morals? Your commitment to your family? The scandal of it all?” she asked, remembering what he had said previously. “What changed?”

  His smile became tender. “You,” he said, softly. “The life you talked about, the life so different from my own, forced me to consider what it was holding me back. Yes, there might be some scandal but my mother and father have the impeccable first son already.” He lifted one shoulder. “I am the second son. My behavior, in time, will not matter all that much. Perhaps I will be a much better son and brother if I am happy with my lot in life. And I have begun to understand that being a.. a pirate does not necessarily mean murder and plunder.”

  Her heart felt as though it might burst. Eleanor could barely believe that she had him standing on her deck, the warmth in his eyes speaking to her in ways his words never could.

  “What have you told your family?”

  Thomas shrugged. “I wrote some kind of explanation, stating that I was going out on my own adventure and expected to be a good many years at sea.” His eyes softened. “I did promise my mother I would write to her and visit when I could. Despite her constant nagging that I should marry, I know she worries.”

  “Of course,” Eleanor murmured, remembering how much her own father had worried about her, even though she was as capable a pirate as he.

  "I know I chased your father for a great many years," he continued, almost apologetically. "But I was doing as I was asked and, in time, it became the sole purpose of my life. I thought that should I capture him, I would be able to find the freedom I'd been seeking for so long. It was only when I had you in the brig that I slowly realized the Navy would never allow me that, no matter how successful I was. I will never fight against the Navy. They gave me a home, they do honorable work, and many good men sell with them. But it’s not the life for me.”

  Tilting her head
, Eleanor let her smile spread across her face. “Then rid yourself of it,” she replied, nodding pointedly at his heavy uniformed jacket. “I see you have already dispensed with your hat.”

  Thomas drew in a long breath, closed his eyes and shrugged out of his coat. “I don’t need this,” he said, as though reassuring himself. “I won’t be a part of that system any longer.”

  “Then throw it to the waves,” Eleanor encouraged, stepping closer and taking his hand. “The sea will give you the peace you seek.”

  Together, hand in hand, Eleanor and Thomas walked over until they could see the depths of the water beneath. It was a calm day, with only a few breaths of wind, and the sea was quiet and still.

  “Should you choose,” she said, “I would not be opposed to seeking out a license to become a privateer, under a different name. To make us more legitimate, yet retaining our freedom.”

  He looked at her in shock. “You would do that?”

  “If you are giving up your entire life, Thomas,” she replied, “I should be able to change the way I do business.”

  He looked at her with everything he felt in his eyes.

  “Throw it in, Thomas,” Eleanor whispered, her hand tightening on his.

  She dropped his hand and took a step back, knowing that this was for him to do alone. She saw the flickering emotions cross his face, the tautness of his features as he hoisted his heavy coat in his arms, before flinging it away from him with a shout.

  Moving to the side, Eleanor watched as the coat – the last trappings of the British Navy – slowly gathered water and sank beneath the waves.

  “You did it, Thomas,” she murmured, watching it until the last part of it was pulled under by the water.

  “I could not have done it without you,” he replied, his voice husky as he turned to her and slid one arm around her waist. “You have brought me what I have been looking for.”