Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9)

by Heather Wardell

  Feeling even warmer inside than the run in the morning sun was making my outsides because he'd remembered such a small detail about me, I said, "I was. The thing has fangs like a rattlesnake."

  He chuckled and shook his head. "So I guess you haven't stuck your hands in there again?"

  "Nope. I fling food in from as far away as I can then slam the cage door before it can attack."

  We slowed to a walk, and he reached out and patted my shoulder. "Good plan."

  He'd been touching me more since our 'date'. I liked it. "Thanks. But..." I sighed.

  "What?"

  I shook my head helplessly. "I should have said no. She tricked me, made me think she wanted to hang out with me, and yet I'm still doing what she wants and taking care of the gerbil. I feel bad, but if I had said no I'd feel bad about that too. I feel like I can't win. No matter what I do it's wrong."

  "Yeah," he said softly.

  I realized who I was talking to. "I'm sorry. My gerbil problem is so petty next to your..." I floundered. "Not that the foundation is a problem, it's just..."

  He gave my shoulder a squeeze. "I get it. And it's not petty. It's exactly the same thing. It's hard to deal with other people's expectations."

  I nodded. "My mother thinks I should give Amanda everything she wants because she does that for James. But I'm not making her do it for James so why should I have to do it for her?" I gave a not-quite-mock shudder. "But even saying that, I feel like a jerk. A big selfish jerk."

  "Not a jerk," he said at once. "Not even close. But I know. I feel the same way. My parents are so proud of me for being involved in the foundation. I was in Vancouver to see them at Christmas and Dad even said he didn't know if he'd have been able to stay involved for so long but he was impressed that I was." He gave a sad laugh. "It's ironic. That's what made me realize I didn't know if I wanted to stay involved."

  My turn to squeeze his shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

  I was. But I was also so glad to have him in my life. He understood the pull I felt between what I thought I should do and what I wanted to do, understood it better than anyone else I knew could have. I didn't have to pretend I didn't have those selfish urges, because he had them too. We were in the same place, even though his issue was much bigger than mine, both just trying to find our happy paces.

  We began running in earnest and cruised along in silence for a few minutes. He usually left me on Thursday mornings so he could run faster, but today he wasn't showing any signs of departing. I was about to ask why when he cleared his throat and said, "Friday night, after the group run. What are you doing?"

  My pulse quickened even more than the run had already caused. "Nothing. You?"

  He cleared his throat again and looked straight ahead as he said, "I hope we're going out for dinner."

  I looked down at the pavement passing beneath our feet, delight filling me. I tried to keep it under control, though, since he might not mean what I wanted him to mean. "I hope so too."

  "Good," he said. "We'll sneak out so I don't end up taking the whole group."

  After quite a few weeks of it not working out due to various conflicts, the original Friday night group dinner had fallen by the wayside. I'd thought he was asking me out instead of suggesting a return to that tradition, and having it confirmed made me grin and say, "Yeah, those MMA guys can eat."

  He poked my arm. "I'm an MMA guy, you know."

  "I do know. I saw you attacking that sushi last weekend."

  "Hardly attacking."

  "Like how Jaws attacked me."

  He laughed. "Hey, now. I have to hope I'm at least nicer than that gerbil."

  He looked toward me and our eyes met. I told him the truth. "A million times nicer."

  His mouth curved into a shy smile and he looked away.

  "Just keep your fangs to yourself," I added.

  We burst out laughing and spent the rest of the run in casual conversation, but I knew we'd deepened our connection yet again and I loved it.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Outside for morning recess on the first day of school, Tosca nudged me and jerked her head toward the playground fence. "Ever watched two dogs getting to know each other?"

  I looked where she'd indicated to see two girls, one who'd been in my class last year and one who was new to the school, eyeing each other from a few feet apart. My student had been shy but sweet, and the other girl's body language said she might be the same way. "Nope, but I recently saw a cat and guinea pig trying to become friends."

  She laughed. "Did it work?"

  The new girl moved closer and pointed at my former student's bracelet, a hot pink number that I knew from last year bore the image of pop star Misty Will, adored by every girl in my class. Before my student could respond, the new girl tugged the same bracelet out from under her own sleeve. Both of them burst out laughing and walked off together, arm-in-arm, belting out what I assumed was one of Misty's songs. With any luck Misty sang it more in tune, but she couldn't have done it with more gusto.

  "'Friends' might be a strong word," I admitted, "but they tolerated each other. No biting, no snarling." I smiled, remembering watching them acknowledge then ignore each other.

  "And where did you find a cat to meet Curly?"

  My smile widened. "She's Andrew's cat."

  "Ah," she said.

  We'd talked about Andrew during our weekly chats that always started out focused on teaching and ended up covering everything from our childhoods to the tattoo of a koala bear she planned to get on her twenty-seventh birthday in November because her dad had called her Toskoala when she was little. I'd told her a bit about Andrew and Rhiannon, and how my dinner alone with him after the Friday night run was now a two-week tradition. Even though I hadn't told her we'd hugged after each of those dinners, from the gentle smile she gave me she'd clearly been able to tell I was interested in him for more than his running knowledge, but she hadn't said anything more than, "I'm glad you met him. It sounds like you're good for each other."

  We were, and she and I were good for each other too. At first we'd had a mentor-mentee relationship, but over the summer she had gradually begun to challenge my ideas and thoughts and at our meeting last week I'd learned more from her about how to approach the new school year with excitement than she probably realized.

  As I'd promised myself, I hadn't brought up Theo and her possible relationship with him, but last week she'd casually told me she'd broken up with her boyfriend of six years back in February so wasn't sure she was ready for a new romance yet. I'd had no idea: other than when she'd cried over her explosion-destroyed room, which I'd understood even before knowing about her breakup, she'd kept a professional demeanor at work and hadn't used her pain to get special treatment from the other staff as Amanda did every time James acted up. I admired that.

  While I hadn't wanted to dump too much on our joint coworker, I did tell Tosca after the gerbil incident how frustrated I was with Amanda's expectations of me, especially since she hadn't even thanked me beyond a vague "You're the best". She'd sympathized, and then confessed that she'd actually done a classmate's final project while getting her teaching degree because the woman had gradually guilted her into it and she hadn't been able to figure out how to stand up for herself. She hadn't been thanked either. We'd shaken our heads at our own gullibility and agreed to help each other grow stronger spines over the next school year.

  "How's your class so far?"

  She smiled. "There are twenty-four of them and they seem to be going in twenty-nine different directions. It's impressive. But they're very sweet. At least, they will be when they stop crying."

  I shook my head. "You poor thing. They're all crying?"

  "Well, not all at the same time. But they've all cried at least once. It's hard being in kindergarten for the first time, I guess."

  "I suppose. I couldn't teach your kids. I need them to be at least a little self-sufficient."

  She laughed. "By the end of the year I hope these guys wi
ll be. Is your class good?"

  I shook my head again, but this time in amazement at my luck. "They're terrific. I knew from seeing them last year that they were a nice bunch but they're so much better than I could have imagined. Three new kids, but they already seem to fit in. I think it's going to be a wonderful year."

  She grinned at me as the recess bell rang. "Glad to hear it. You deserve it."

  "Thanks," I said, then went to remind the kids how to line up, which they somehow managed to forget every summer, realizing as I did that there hadn't been even a hint of jealousy in her voice over my fortune at having a good class that wasn't constantly in tears. Tosca really was a sweetheart.

  The various teachers met us at the door to escort their students back to their rooms, as was the rule in the first week until we could be fairly sure the kids understood how to act in the halls. I noticed Theo giving Tosca a big smile and her blushingly returning it, but even if I'd wanted to comment I couldn't because Amanda was beside me.

  "How did you stand those kids?"

  I turned to her, startled by her hissed comment, and answered quietly. "Last year's class? They were getting a little better by the end of the year."

  She rolled her eyes. "Then they've fallen apart over the summer. They're unbelievably needy. I'm already exhausted."

  No doubt her attitude and supposed exhaustion were caused by the recent events with James, which she'd regaled me with at length last week while I finalized my room's decoration and struggled not to tell her I didn't much care.

  James, in his infinite wisdom, had decided to sell his truck and buy a new one, something fancy and flashy. And more expensive than he could afford, so he'd pushed Amanda until she'd cosigned the loan and then he'd promptly skipped the first month's payment. Her foolishness at once again trusting him to do what he'd said he would aggravated me, and so did her insistence that she tell me about it in far too much detail.

  Even just the mention of James's name made my shoulders rise and tighten. One of my new students was named James, and I'd actually been afraid I'd hate the poor kid just because of that until he'd told me he went by Jimmy instead. I couldn't stand Amanda's James, and the more I saw of people like Tosca and Andrew the less I felt like supporting her in the delusion that he'd ever be more than what he was. He wouldn't, and as long as she stayed with him neither would she.

  Amanda turned toward me, putting her back to her class. "Take a look at this," she said softly as she pulled aside the silk scarf she wore to show me a hickey that could probably be seen from space. "James is going to be pissed when he sees it tonight. He's been away since Friday night at that stupid bachelor party in Vegas."

  I blinked. "It's not from him? Then..."

  She winked and covered her neck again. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

  No, actually, I wouldn't. James was a jerk, and I wouldn't be surprised to learn he'd cheated on her, but I didn't like knowing she'd definitely cheated on him.

  Apparently not noticing I hadn't expressed any interest, she said, "Got it Saturday night. From Julie."

  "Julie. Your cousin?"

  She nodded. "I hit the bars with her and a bunch of her friends. I was telling everyone how James won't step up and marry me and they said I should make him jealous." She laughed. "It could have been you, you know. I figured you'd do it for me, so I called you Saturday but you didn't answer."

  I knew she expected me to apologize for not being available when she called, and I felt like I should but I fought it off. I'd set her ringtone to silent Saturday before I went to bed, not wanting to be interrupted before the long run the next morning. Clearly I'd made a good decision. "I guess I didn't hear it. What time?"

  "One-thirty."

  The last class other than ours headed inside and the noise level on the playground dropped, which was the only thing that stopped me saying, "You called me at one-thirty in the morning to come to a bar and give you a hickey?"

  "Anyhow, Julie said she'd do it if I gave her one back because she's afraid her boyfriend's cheating and she wants to smarten him up. So don't worry about it. I'll let you know what James does." She wiggled her empty wedding-ring finger at me. "Or else you'll be able to see it when I have my ring. I stuffed a magazine with my favorite ones circled into his luggage so he can check them out and maybe get one for me there."

  The unlikelihood of James taking time out from a bachelor party in Las Vegas to buy an engagement ring left me speechless.

  "Okay, gotta go. Nice talking to you." Amanda turned to her class and said, "All right, let's get going."

  "Nice talking to you?" I thought as I took my class back to our room. At me, more like. And she didn't even seem to notice I wasn't responding. She really didn't pay any attention to me at all. I'd thought she had, I'd thought our friendship was equal, but as I developed real friendships with other people it was becoming painfully obvious that what Amanda and I had wasn't worthy of the term.

  As my kids settled into their seats, I wondered whether they'd grow up to be like Amanda or like me, dictators or doormats.

  Couldn't there be some middle ground?

  *****

  "Again, congrats on surviving your first day back," Colette said, smiling at us as she ended a mercifully short staff meeting. "Once you've signed up for your committee for the year, go on home and relax. You've earned it."

  She left the room, and most of my coworkers converged on the sign-up sheet. I didn't bother trying to force my way through the crowd to reach it. Instead, I smiled at Tosca and said, "Was your afternoon any better?"

  She nodded. "After nap time they were much more cheerful. Only a few crying."

  "Better than all of them. And maybe tomorrow none will cry."

  "Tomorrow might be over-optimistic, but I'm hopeful for next week. So what are you signing up for?"

  I shrugged. "Whatever's left, I guess."

  Theo joined us and said, "Did you ask her?"

  She shot him a mock-exasperated look. "Way to ruin the surprise. I was just about to."

  We laughed, and I said, "Ask me what?"

  "Theo headed up the sports banquet last year. I'm going to work with him on it this year, and we wondered if you would too."

  The only committee that took up more time and energy than grad was the banquet honoring all of our athletes over the year. Making sure every team member was recognized, organizing an exhibition game between a student team and a group of teachers (which in past years had often required begging teachers to participate), and of course planning the banquet itself... it was a huge undertaking.

  But doing it with Tosca and Theo would be fun. After how generously they'd helped me with grad I knew they'd pull their full weight. If anything, we'd be fighting each other to take more of the load, not less. Last year's graduation had been my worst committee ever but I'd never had one where everyone involved did the right thing, and knowing this would be that committee made my decision easy. "I'd love to. Unless someone else has already taken it."

  Theo chuckled. "After my whining over it? Unlikely."

  I smiled. "You didn't whine. You just... commented. Often."

  "In a whiny tone."

  I gave him a "well, now that you mention it..." look and he laughed.

  He had actually complained often, albeit always in a joking way, but though he hadn't come out and said it I'd been able to tell that his committee members had been only slightly more useful than Veronica and Amanda had been to me. This year would be different for us both.

  "Well, let's go sign up for it and we'll see how much whining you do this year."

  Everyone else had chosen their committees, and all but a few chatters had left the staff room, so we had no trouble getting to the list.

  I did have trouble, though, believing what I saw.

  Amanda had signed up for graduation.

  And she'd signed me up as committee leader.

  Tosca looked at me, shocked. "Did you see..."

  "Oh, yeah."

  "See what
?" Theo leaned in between us. "Has someone beaten us to it?"

  "No, the banquet's all ours. It's not that." I stared back at Tosca, then glanced around to see if Amanda was still in the room. "She did it and left," I whispered. "Didn't even tell me."

  Tosca shook her head.

  "Sorry? I don't-- oh." Theo had obviously noticed. He said softly, "If you'd rather do grad, we'll understand."

  A bark of laughter exploded from me. "No, that's okay, trust me." I crossed my name out with a strong heavy line. "I'm with you guys. I'll tell her right after--"

  "Megan, just so you know, we're on grad," Amanda said from the door. "Okay?"

  Her tone made it clear she didn't expect any reaction but "sure", but I gave her one anyhow. "No, it's not okay. I'm doing the sports banquet."

  She stared at me. So, from the weight of the eyes I could feel on me and the sudden silence of the teachers who'd been chatting, did everyone else. Not surprising, really. I'd never said no to her. "But I wanted to do grad again with you."

  Of course she did. She'd done nothing and I'd let her get away with it. But I'd changed over the summer. My long runs had toughened me up mentally as well as physically, and my talks with Andrew had given me even more strength. "It was a lot more work than I'd expected, and I'm not interested in doing it this year." To my annoyance, I added, "Sorry," at the end without meaning to, but at least I hadn't caved in.

  She blinked. "But then who will I work with?"

  "Whoever signs up, I guess." I glanced back at the list. "Actually, Jenny and Ginger signed up too so I guess it's the three of you."

  Jenny was new, Veronica's replacement, so she wouldn't know anything about how we usually did grad, and Ginger volunteered for work even less often than Amanda and had never done grad either. Amanda would have her work cut out for her.

  No doubt knowing that, she grimaced then changed tactics. "Two's enough for grad, but the banquet's a lot of work. Maybe I should help you guys instead."

  I took a breath to answer, although I didn't know what to say since the banquet was a lot of work so I couldn't argue with her on that point, but Theo spoke before I could. "I've actually already figured out how to divide up the work, and it's perfect for three. Honestly, Amanda, it's nice of you to offer but the grad committee needs you, especially since you were on it this year so you know what's involved."