Harrowing Hats

by Joyce; Jim Lavene

  There were fake weapons and coats of arms decorating the stone walls. Imitation wall hangings were bright and colorful for the thousands of visitors who walked through here each day.

  But the residential side of the castle was filled with the good stuff. Livy and Harry had brought in hundreds of antiques and other treasures to make their castle fit for the royalty they were. Visitors never entered this part of the castle, unless they were special guests. If they were such nobility, they stayed in luxurious suites with Renaissance flair—and indoor plumbing.

  From the moment we passed into the residential quarters, Bart and I could hear the weeping and moaning of Queen Olivia in her royal chambers.

  “I don’t think we should go in there,” he said as we stood outside the closed door to her personal suite. “I think an animal must have got loose in there. Or a ghost. Either way, not good news for mortals like us.”

  “I don’t have much choice. I have to give her this hat and make sure it fits okay.” I smiled and patted his shoulder. “Lucky you, all you have to do is find the king.”

  “What makes you think he isn’t in there with her?”

  I laughed. “I worked here one summer. The king disappears when the queen goes into her fits.”

  “But what about her being pregnant? She shouldn’t be alone at a time like this.”

  One bad thing about sneaking around with Bart—he didn’t sneak. And he had a loud, booming voice that could be heard across a jousting field when he whispered. The next thing we knew, Queen Olivia had jerked open the door to her chambers and was ready to confront us.

  Her eyes were red and puffy. Redheads (even those who used to be redheads and had to frequently visit the royal hairdresser to maintain those titian-esque locks) should never cry. They look even worse than blonds.

  “What are you doing sneaking around out here? Are you gossiping about me being pregnant? It’s a lie! If I were a real queen, I’d have that evil nurse’s head on a pike outside the castle for telling such a falsehood.”

  I glanced at Bart. He made a hasty retreat down the long, stone hall, muttering about finding the king as he went. I dropped the queen a low, formal curtsy. “I am so sorry to bother you, Your Majesty. But Andre needs to make sure this hat will fit you.”

  She waved me into her chamber, blowing her nose loudly in a handkerchief. “What does it matter? None of my clothes will fit soon. I’ll be a large whale of a queen who no one will want to see. Maybe Andre can make a hat big enough to fit over my whole body.”

  Olivia isn’t exactly a tiny figure of a woman anyway. I didn’t say it, but it was possible no one would even notice she was pregnant, especially in the right Renaissance clothes. “Perhaps the evil nurse”—I was certainly willing to agree with her on that point—“has made a mistake.”

  The queen flounced down on her red velvet sofa. It was then that I noticed all the modern-day pregnancy tests that surrounded her. I wasn’t sure what they used in the Renaissance for this purpose, but in this case, all the tests seemed to be positive.

  “Whatever will I do, Lady Jessie? The king will no longer love me or want to be with me when he learns I am with child.”

  I longed, nay, yearned to ask the question, Is the baby Harry’s? But I didn’t let the words come out of my mouth. “I’m sure Your Majesty will find the king pleased that he will be a father.”

  She batted her long eyelashes at me, black smears of mascara running down her pink face. “Do you really think so? We are both a little old to have children. I never even thought about it.”

  I guessed she was in her forties, probably. Harry, a few years older. It wasn’t insane to think they could have a child. But I approached the idea from a different angle. “It would be wonderful for the Village. Imagine the birth of a new prince or princess. Imagine the extra events visitors could attend in conjunction with this blessed event.”

  Queen Olivia seemed to give that some thought. Before she could speak, however, King Harold himself burst into her chambers, his royal robes flowing around him. “Is it true, Livy? Are you really going to be a mother?”

  I glanced toward the open doorway. Bart waved his fingers at me a little with a look on his face that told me how the king had found out about the baby.

  “Yes, Harry. It seems I’m going to have a baby.” She smiled at him through her tears in such a gentle, loving way. I’d never seen her look like that before.

  King Harold stroked his chin and said, “Who’s the father, my dear?”

  Enraged, Livy got to her feet and began throwing test kits, fruit, and anything else her hand came upon at her husband. “How dare you? I can’t believe you’d ask me that at a time like this! You pompous, ignorant, self-righteous man! Get out of here. Don’t ever come back.”

  Harry beat a hasty retreat from the queen’s chambers. Despite feeling in charity with Livy, I was glad he asked the question the whole Village would be asking. I wasn’t sure if her anger was an answer. In truth, she might not even know who the father was herself.

  I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her as she stood there crying. She could be a miserable person to get along with since she seemed to really believe she was the queen of Renaissance Village and all that it implied. But right now she was a human being in pain. I went to her and hugged her close.

  “He hates me,” she sobbed into my bosom since she was too short to reach my shoulder. “He’ll never believe it’s his baby.”

  “You’ll have to prove it to him,” I counseled. “There are tests you can take.”

  “I won’t. Either he believes me or he doesn’t. My baby and I will live without him if we have to.”

  I hated to ask but I really needed her to try on Andre’s hat. “If I could trouble Your Majesty to let me measure this hat for you. The hatmaker is waiting for me.”

  “Of course.” She sniffed and raised her chin, wiping her eyes with the back of her hands like a child. “Life goes on, does it not? Let us try on this hat.”

  Ten

  The hat was a perfect fit, and after a few more words of encouragement, I left it with Livy and headed out of the castle. It looked like Bart had left before me. I didn’t blame him for going back to Swords and Such—and Daisy. Seeing Livy and Harry arguing over their child made me want to find Chase and hug him.

  The king and queen were married and had been for years, but they seemed so unsure of their relationship. It always felt to me like Chase and I were on such solid ground. But would it last through something like this?

  The storm was still raging outside. I couldn’t hear it inside the castle through all the layers of cement and stone that had covered the old runway tower for the air force base where the Village was built.

  I waited for the hard rain and frequent lightning flashes to end, standing in the entryway with a few servant wenches who were flirting with Gus (obviously not everyone minded the pinching).

  I wasn’t paying much attention until I heard Andre’s name mentioned by a buxom blond wench. She’d overheard an argument between Beth Daniels, the Village costume designer, and Andre.

  “I’ve never seen Beth so mad,” the blond wench said. “She’s usually so laid back, but in a nice way, you know?”

  The brunette wench nodded. “I know. I can’t believe she has a thing for the hatmaker. He’s kind of puny. I don’t know. Maybe I just like knights and lords better.”

  “Someone told me they used to go out. Then the little hatmaker caught Eloise’s eye. Beth didn’t have a chance after that.”

  “Who would?” Brunette wench sighed. “There must be more to Andre than we think. If Eloise wanted to date him, he must have something.”

  Blond wench nudged brunette wench. “Money! I was at Our Lady’s Gemstones when he got that necklace. I think Beth heard about it and thought it was for her. Sorry! He gave it to Eloise.”

  “She probably pawned it.”

  “Or used it to make somebody else jealous.”

  They both giggled in a malicious way. �
��Too bad Cesar is dead. He and Eloise were perfect for each other,” blond wench said.

  “Yeah. Maybe since he died in chocolate, she’ll end up in a pie shell.”

  The rain had begun to ease up by this time. There was still some thunder, but the lightning had moved away. The wenches made a run for it. Probably meeting a pirate at the Lady of the Lake Tavern. That’s where I met my first pirate when I was a castle wench.

  I walked a little more sedately down the King’s Highway back toward the Hat House with the information from the wenches sizzling in my skull.

  This could be the information that would help in the investigation of Cesar’s death. Since I knew someone had heard Cesar and Eloise arguing about expensive jewelry she’d received, the wenches’ conversation might clear some things up.

  I already knew Andre had a thing for Eloise that wasn’t necessarily returned—but she wasn’t above taking gifts from him. She was obviously involved with Cesar and was flaunting her gift at him, probably trying to make him jealous. Knowing Cesar, she might have been trying to pin him down.

  Proving what I’d heard at the castle would be really easy. I had to walk past Our Lady’s Gemstones to get to the Hat House. What could it hurt to stop in and ask about Andre’s purchase?

  True, Chase wouldn’t like it. And I had promised to report back to him before taking any action. On the other hand, I’d made that promise when I was going to visit Eloise. This could be construed as something totally different.

  I wasn’t sure what it would prove. Beth had a thing for Andre, who was in love with Eloise. He bought the tart an expensive piece of jewelry. Beth thought it was for her.

  It seemed to me that if anyone would have been murdered out of that situation, it would be Eloise or Andre, killed by Beth in a jealous rage.

  Still, being able to verify the information about the jewelry might be good. My wayward feet wandered past Eve’s Garden and into Our Lady’s Gemstones.

  The shop had been taken over by a brother and sister last year. The original owner, Captain Jack Russell, had decided it was time to quit the business and retire to Florida. He used to spend all his free time fishing in Mirror Lake—but there were no fish, a fact he complained loudly about every chance he got. He was a character was Captain Jack, with his peg leg and large sea captain’s hat. Surprisingly, he never got along with the pirates. He fancied himself more the English admiral sort.

  Anyway, I hadn’t been in the shop since Captain Jack left. I had considered cutting and setting gemstones as a possible craft, but it was down on my list. I don’t really know why since I liked sparkly, shiny things as much as the next person.

  I was surprised to see how dark the shop had become. There were never many windows in Village shops but the few here were covered in deep purple velvet. No outside light—or breeze, for that matter—reached inside.

  The lights were all on the gemstones. It was like walking into a dark cavern and being surrounded by sparkling, multicolor jewels waiting to be picked up. Only in this case, there was a high price to pay for pocketing any of the stones.

  The idea was for visitors to pick out the kind of stone and setting they wanted and the jeweler would create the masterpiece as they walked around the Village or it would be shipped to them.

  The settings were very nice, too. More than I could afford on my assistant professor’s salary and my Village paycheck combined. I enjoyed looking at them, though, and had to admit the rather creepy atmosphere was perfect for them.

  “May we be of assistance, milady? I am Rene and this is my sister Renee.”

  I jumped and dropped one of the sapphires I was admiring when I heard the voice and saw two ghostly faces coming toward me from the back of the shop. I hastily picked up the sapphire and put it back on its velvet bed—hoping it wasn’t damaged.

  “I was just—er—looking around,” I stammered, totally thrown off by the pair. No one had told me the brother and sister were twins like me and my brother, Tony.

  But there the likeness ended. These two looked exactly alike. I could only tell them apart because the woman had long white hair and the man had very short white hair. Not that either one of them looked to be much older than me. Their eyes were an unearthly color of blue. Their perfect, pale faces were beautiful, like they had stepped out of a Botticelli painting or were sculptures come to life.

  They were both dressed in matching purple velvet, despite the heat. What was even weirder was that neither one was sweating.

  “What did you have in mind?” Renee asked me.

  “I’m not really sure.” Confronted with these two, I almost forgot why I was there. I mentally shook myself and began again. “I admired the necklace you made for Andre Hariot. I was wondering if you had something like it.”

  Rene nodded to his sister. “None of our work is exactly the same. We would be happy to make something similar, perhaps.”

  “That sounds fine. What would that price range be?”

  “Around five thousand dollars,” Renee replied. “We would need half up front and the rest when the piece was finished. Have you chosen your stone and setting?”

  Wow! So now I’d confirmed that Andre had a very expensive necklace made for Eloise. Where would a former Hollywood hatmaker get that kind of money? I didn’t think anyone in the Village could afford something like that.

  Then I thought about Chase. His family was wealthy, though you wouldn’t know it to look at him. Plus he worked as a patent attorney in his spare time. If he had the money, anyone could have it, including Andre. Who knew what secrets lay in people’s pasts?

  “I’m not really ready for that yet,” I stalled. “I was hoping maybe my boyfriend might buy something like it for me.”

  “The bailiff?” Rene nodded. “The sapphire would be a wonderful choice, Lady Jessie.”

  Apparently they knew me even though I didn’t know them. That was kind of scary. I was glad I hadn’t seen them the first time on a dark night somewhere in the shadows of the Village. They reminded me too much of every evil vampire movie I had ever seen.

  “Thanks. I’ll have to see what I can do. I appreciate your time.”

  Both of them nodded solemnly, not so much as a trace of a smile on either face. “Of course. You know where to find us.”

  “Yes. I have to go now. See you around.”

  I backed out of the shop, afraid of not making it out alive. I knew Chase would tease me about it (once he got over being angry that I was there in the first place), but the two really creeped me out.

  When I was outside, I felt like kissing the ground, only there was too much animal poop and sawdust to make that appealing. Regardless, I was glad to be out in the sunlight again. It was probably stupid to feel that way about them, but I couldn’t help it. I ran all the way back to the hat shop.

  Andre was alone when I got back. I told him Olivia was happy with her hat and that it fit her like it was made for her—which it was.

  “Good. That’s very good.”

  He seemed distracted. I wasn’t sure he heard what I’d said. So I repeated it. This time he kind of muttered but didn’t say anything I could understand.

  “Is something wrong?” I asked.

  “Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you could remove all the mistakes from your past, Jessie?” He laughed and sat down at the window again. “Of course not. You’re too young to have made those kinds of mistakes. I wish I hadn’t, but life isn’t always the way we think it will be. I wish I could change some of those things.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was talking about the near past or distant past. Did he regret dumping Beth for Eloise? Was he sorry he’d put out that much money for the necklace he’d given the tart?

  I didn’t know him well enough to say. Andre was a different man under his trendy tunics and fastidious ways. “It’s not always easy knowing what to do.” I shrugged, feeling a little lame.

  He smiled and seemed a little less tense and melancholy. “It’s true. It’s alw
ays easy to look back and see the mistakes you wish you hadn’t made. Tell me, Jessie, how did our good queen seem when you visited her? I know there must be some juicy gossip floating around the Village by now.”

  I told him about Livy’s unhappiness and Harry’s rude question about the birth father. He rubbed his hands together. “This reminds me of when I was working on the set of Ghostbusters and we found out one of the script girls was pregnant. The rumor was that the baby belonged to one of the stars of the movie. No one could ever prove it and the script girl decided to leave. The next time I saw her, she was driving an expensive sports car and had traded up in the apartment arena.”

  We were both laughing about all the crazy antics he remembered from the Ghostbusters set when Chase came in. I was happy to see him until I noticed that little frown between his eyes that always gives away his more serious mood.

  I was formulating my explanation for visiting Our Lady’s Gemstones—I thought he’d heard about it somehow and now we were going to argue. I didn’t question how he found out. It was bad enough that he did.

  But that wasn’t the problem. Chase nodded to Andre, ignoring me completely. “I’m afraid I have some bad news. Detective Almond is on his way to see you. He knows about your past.”

  Eleven

  I would’ve asked but there wasn’t time. Detective Almond and two officers were already following Chase in the Hat House door. “Manhattan! Why am I not surprised to see you here? I told you we could handle it.”

  “The deal is that I take care of the Village. That makes it easier for you. You don’t have to come out here every five minutes to see what’s going on. But I take it seriously when one of my people might be accused of murder.”

  I felt Andre’s hand creep around mine. I squeezed his back for good measure.

  “Fine.” Detective Almond looked at me. “But we don’t need your girlfriend here, right?”