Harrowing Hats

by Joyce; Jim Lavene

  There were loud cries of huzzah before the tomatoes began to fly. Ladies wept and gentlemen acknowledged Chase’s sacrifice on my behalf.

  Only a handful of tomatoes actually hit Chase before the crowd began to lose interest. The Village Crier came by to let everyone know that the Templar Knights were about to meet the Queen’s Champions on the Field of Honor. Within five minutes, everyone had dispersed to one end of the Village or another.

  I ran to Chase’s side and released him. A tomato caught me square in the side of the face. “Oops!” Diego grinned. “Sorry! My bad.”

  “Time to leave,” Lorenzo said, his hands red with tomato juice. “We were happy to help you out here, Chase. Please remember us for any future tomato-throwing needs that might come up for you.”

  I looked at Chase’s tomato-stained face and laughed, kissing him with my own tomato-stained face. “Why did you do that? I was prepared to take it. You’re the bailiff. You aren’t supposed to be in the stocks.”

  He put his arm around me. “I wasn’t going to let you go through that in front of all those people. Give me some credit.”

  “Never mind. Thanks for trying to rescue me from the tomatoes anyway. I’ll get Diego later. Right now, I think we both need a shower.”

  “I agree.”

  “What about Rene and Renee?”

  “They aren’t going anywhere. We’ll deal with them later.”

  Twenty-two

  After we were both clean again, Chase left a message for Detective Almond on his voice mail, then apologized to me. “I have to go over to the pirate ship. Someone dropped a cannon ball on deck and the ship might be damaged. Everyone is a little paranoid about rebuilding another ship.

  The good ship Queen’s Revenge was in its second incarnation after its maiden voyage, when someone thought it would be a good idea to use real cannons. The fire that resulted burned the ship to the water.

  “That’s okay. It’s your job, right?” I kissed him, hoping he was telling me the truth this time. “I have to get my stuff from Andre’s. I’ll see you later. We’ll talk about the private detective the twins hired who stuck a gun in my side last night.”

  “He had a gun on you?”

  “He got away after he reported to the evil twins. There’s so much going on in the Village that you don’t know about. Whatever they have you doing is taking too much time away from being bailiff. And from me.”

  “I’m sorry, Jessie. I didn’t know it would come to this. I promise I’ll explain everything later.”

  “Yes, you will.”

  “Jessie?”

  “Hmm?”

  “No more sneaking around looking for killers. I don’t know if Rene and Renee are hands-on with this, but they could’ve hurt you.”

  “They weren’t holding me at gunpoint asking me questions,” I reminded him. “And I wasn’t sneaking around when that happened. I was looking for you.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do.”

  “Next time, call me before you come up with any scheme that could put you in danger.”

  “I will.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Really.” I smiled. “But I don’t have a radio.”

  “Let’s not start that again. Radios are only for Village security. I have to go.”

  “I’m just saying—you want me to call you? It’s hard to yell over everything going on around here. How am I supposed to call you without a radio?”

  “Leave the investigation to me or the police and you won’t have to.”

  “Okay.” I ran a comb through my hair. “I’ll see you later. Looking forward to hearing all about why you were sneaking around the Village.”

  I’m sure we both knew what he was asking me wasn’t going to happen. We both knew about Rene and Renee being related to Andre and possibly Cesar’s death because I snooped where I shouldn’t have been.

  I was a valuable asset to both Chase and Detective Almond even though I was underappreciated. Sometime it would dawn on both of them that I made all the difference. Chase would want to give me a radio—Detective Almond would command him to do so. I would finally possess the only modern-day invention allowed in the Village besides the cash register.

  I tried to imagine what Chase was keeping from me but couldn’t. They were asking him to do things without telling me. At least he didn’t say she was asking him to do things. It had to be Adventure Land. It was his mistress when I was there or in Columbia. I’d be jealous if I didn’t love her so much, too.

  My best bet might be to question Merlin, who wasn’t very good at keeping a secret. Yes, he was CEO of Adventure Land and not many people knew that. But if everyone went around asking him directly if that was his position, the entire Village would know. He had looser lips than a Saint Bernard.

  From the lack of people on the cobblestones as I walked back toward the Hat House, I knew the Queen’s knights were still at the Field of Honor with the Templars. Nothing gets the crowd moving like a good joust. I could hear the huzzahs and applause coming from that direction. I wanted to go and watch, too, but I didn’t want Andre to worry after he’d left me at the shop before lunch. That was almost two hours ago. I owed him some kind of explanation.

  So I ignored the frenzy of the crowd as they watched the knights face each other and kept moving toward the Hat House. I was a little more aware of my surroundings, since the private detective was still on the loose. He might be capable of more than the twins, for all I knew. It made me sorry I didn’t tell Chase all about him before we parted ways.

  Andre was happy to see me and glad that I was back with Chase. He was surprised when I told him his stepchildren were in the Village. “It’s been so many years—they were only children when their mother died. I didn’t recognize them,” he said. “But moving here, hiring a private detective to set me up—that’s a lot even for them!”

  “You’ve had trouble with them before?”

  “Yes, they’ve tried to come after me legally a few times. I guess this is a new tactic for them.”

  He sat down hard in the little chair by the window. “I never did a thing to them. They hated me from the time I married their mother. I was a few years younger than she was, and they never had any respect for me at all. Do you think they could’ve killed Cesar for some kind of twisted revenge?”

  “I think it’s possible—although if it were me, I would’ve killed Eloise.”

  “Don’t even say such a thing! Thank God they didn’t hurt her.”

  “I don’t believe Bernardo and Marco would agree with you.”

  “Of course you’re right. It was a shallow, self-centered thing for me to say. I hope the police will deal appropriately with Rene and his sister. I can’t believe they’ve been right here in the Village and I didn’t even realize it.”

  I looked at the soggy sandwich Andre had gotten for me. It was basically inedible, but I ate most of it anyway to show him how much I appreciated him taking the trouble to get it for me. “Maybe you should talk to them. Maybe you could work things out—saying they didn’t kill Cesar, that is.”

  “I think I’d be best served waiting until we know that for certain, don’t you?” He got up and we began work on the hats again. This time I was helping him cut fabric for the crowns of the big, splashy hats. We talked about movies we’d seen and actors we both admired. The time passed quickly, and we were both surprised when Detective Almond poked his head around the shop door.

  “Have you seen Manhattan?” he asked me, frowning at Andre. “He was supposed to meet me at his place, but no one’s there.”

  “That’s been his MO this summer. The last I heard he was trying to save the pirate ship from sinking.”

  “His MO, huh?” He kind of snickered. “You watch too many police shows. I’ll see you later.”

  I told Andre I’d be right back and ran out after him. “Did you question the twins?”

  He paused, and I wasn’t sure if he was going to tell me. Then he nodded and s
at down on one of the benches near the Good Luck Fountain, which was splashing happily again instead of pretending to be a geyser.

  “Tell me about this thing with Manhattan. This isn’t the first time he’s set something up to meet him and didn’t show. Is he drinking or doing whatever it is you all do around here?”

  I was sorry I’d said anything. I didn’t want to get Chase in trouble, though it sounded like he might already be there. “I just meant they have him running around in all different directions. I think they might be putting too much on him instead of hiring someone else to take care of some of the responsibilities.”

  I hoped that would help explain without making it sound like it was Chase’s fault.

  “They? Who’s they?”

  “Exactly! I want to know the same thing. Obviously, it’s not another woman, though I had my doubts about Eloise. Of course, I have my doubts about most of the women in the Village at one time or another. I think it has to be Adventure Land, though I won’t know for sure until I talk to Merlin.”

  He looked confused, his heavy chin sinking down to his chest. “You mean Manhattan is seeing some other woman?”

  “No. I don’t think so. It appeared that way. But now I don’t think so.”

  He shook his head. “What are you people doing out here anyway? If it were up to me, I’d close this whole mess down. It’s not worth the trouble. But Manhattan is a good man. If anybody is giving him a hard time, they’ll have to answer to me.”

  I was so touched by his heartwarming support for Chase that I gave him (including his dirty shirt and mustard-stained tie) a hug. “He is a good man. But sometimes people take advantage of good men.”

  “That’s true.”

  “What about the twins? Are they responsible for Cesar’s death?”

  “I’ll give you a break this time, Miss Jessie, and tell you that they aren’t. They have a solid alibi, since they were out of the Village when Rizzo was chocolate coated. I think they wanted their ex-stepdaddy to be guilty of this crime. Hell, I wanted him to be guilty so I wouldn’t have to work so hard. But I don’t have anything on either of them. Does that make you happy?”

  “What about the private detective?”

  “The twins aren’t talking about any PI.”

  “I met him last night and followed him into the shop today, which is where I got into trouble. But he’s real.”

  “What’s his name?” Detective Almond took out his mangled notebook.

  “I don’t know. It’s not like he gave me his card or anything.” I told him about the incident the night before and again at Andre’s that day. “He seemed kind of stupid when he was reporting to the evil twins, but he was pretty intense last night with his gun in my side.”

  “The evil twins, huh?” He put away his notebook. “Well, if you come up with a name for this person, let me know. Until then, I can’t do anything.”

  “Which is what the police always say, and then the hardworking, beautiful apprentice is killed and suddenly everyone believes her, but then it’s too late.”

  He laughed. “You’re kind of cute, aren’t you? And perky. I don’t really like cute or perky, but I guess Manhattan does.” He got up from the bench. “Take care of yourself. I’m going to find your bailiff.”

  So the evil twins had an alibi, I thought, going back to the Hat House. And they denied knowing about the private detective snooping for them. That was interesting.

  But Andre was right—it was a lot of work to go through unless they had something important in mind to torment their stepfather. Of course, they weren’t going to admit to their devious plot. I was going to have to keep my eye on them.

  I told Andre what Detective Almond had said about his stepkids. “They didn’t kill Cesar, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t responsible in some way. Maybe the private detective did it.”

  “I don’t feel safe here anymore, Jessie.” He cut at a wide bow with frantic movements, ruining it. “I think I should leave.”

  “I don’t blame you. But won’t they just come at you again—unless we take them out this time. Make sure they can’t do it again.”

  He smiled a little like Jim Carrey as the Grinch. “What did you have in mind?”

  Twenty-three

  It wasn’t so much a plan as enthusiasm for creating a plan. Really, I had no idea what to do. The evil twins seemed capable of anything—including murder. I was scared to walk past the gem shop again.

  But it was enough that Andre and I could talk about it and laugh maniacally from time to time (to the consternation of the other assistants). Planning ways to catch the twins or the private detective in their nefarious plots took us through the day as we worked.

  Andre didn’t seem to have a clue either, but we were both excited about the idea, whatever it was.

  “We could create a trap for them,” I suggested as I pinned purple satin in place.

  “What kind of a trap?” Andre asked.

  “Maybe we could make them think Cesar left behind a clue that the police are keeping secret. If they thought we knew what it was, they might come after us and we could call the police.”

  He paused and seemed to think about it, then went back to cutting. “These things can get out of hand, Jessie. Not to mention that the police are quite far away. We could be dead before they get here. I’m not a young Harrison Ford.”

  That was true. And it was only a random suggestion. We were kind of brainstorming. Maybe enticing the evil twins to want to kill us wasn’t a good idea. “Maybe we could use one of their resources against them.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Okay—there’s a private detective and a reporter wandering around the Village. I think both of them are on the twins’ payroll. I don’t like the private detective. He’s kind of stupid and he has a gun. Neal Stevenson is just looking for a good story. Maybe we could use him to get at the twins.”

  “That sounds interesting and a little Hitchcockian to me,” Andre said. “I like it. How do we use the reporter to get at the twins?”

  I wasn’t sure about that. I told him I’d have to think about it and get back with him. “In the meantime, watch out for the private detective. I don’t know how stable he is.”

  Andre said he would be careful and advised me to do the same. “They seem to gravitate to you more than me. I don’t think the twins want to kill me. They would rather embarrass me and see me go to prison.”

  “Well, we just won’t let them do that.”

  We closed the Hat House as the last of the visitors were heading toward the Main Gate. The mermaids were going for a last swim and waving sad farewells to the huge number of teenage boys who’d gawked at them all day. That attraction seemed to be a hit.

  I saw a group of Templar Knights riding through the Village toward the forest. They were a magnificent sight. Each horse and rider seemed in tune with each other and all the other riders. It made me sorry I’d missed their afternoon performance with the Queen’s Champions. But I had no doubt who’d won that meet.

  Robin Hood stood watching them go, leaning against one of the manor walls at Squire’s Lane. His arms were folded against his chest, a sly smile playing across his good-looking face.

  “I know that look,” I assailed him. “What have you got up your gauntlet?”

  “Not much,” he answered as his smile grew bigger. “Our normal ways of getting justice don’t seem to be working right now. But we have access to another way of putting those arrogant knights in their place.”

  “You’re going to prank them.” I nodded. I’ve been there. Sometimes it’s the only way to get back at someone here. The knights had usurped the Sherwood Forest band as the most popular attraction. I understood the need for vengeance.

  “Just a little reminder of who the real king of Renaissance Village is.”

  “I take it you don’t mean King Harold.”

  “Nope. See you. Remember this conversation tomorrow when you wake up and the tables have turned. Good evening, La
dy Jessie.” He kissed my hand and swept me a formal bow.

  Whatever he had in mind must be really good. I couldn’t wait.

  As I walked down the cobblestones past the Monastery Bakery, I was curious exactly what Robin would do if the mermaids became the most popular attraction. I had a feeling he would resolve that issue in a much different way. Or he wouldn’t mind at all because it didn’t involve testosterone or tight pants.

  “Good evening to you, Lady Jessie.” Mistress Mary Quite Contrary sauntered by with her mobcap-covered curls held high. “Have you heard that the king will only accept the queen’s child as his own if she agrees to a paternity test?”

  “No, Mistress Mary. I hadn’t heard that yet, but it doesn’t surprise me. Dost thou believe the child to be his?”

  She shook her head. “I do not. The queen has refused the test thus far. I believe she will refuse and the king will openly proclaim the child to be a royal bastard.”

  That was harsh. “Perhaps their majesties will find a way to work this out. They are the heart and soul of Renaissance Village.”

  Mistress Mary laughed her pretty, tinkling laugh. “Thou art a dreamer, Lady Jessie. The queen has cuckolded the king once too often. Mark my words—he will banish her and take a new wife. It could be one of us.”

  I couldn’t believe her attitude. Plainly, she saw herself in the role Livy had had for the last ten years. I knew King Harold had fooled around a little with Mistress Mary (I’ve heard she looks ten pounds smaller in leather), but her dreams of succeeding the queen were beyond her station.

  I wondered where Chase was and if we’d really have a chance to talk tonight. I’d already decided that if he sneaked out again, I was sneaking out after him. No more secrets. It was getting to where I couldn’t believe what he was telling me. That wasn’t going to work. I didn’t believe he was seeing someone else, but whatever he was doing had to stop.