by Jones, Kim
“Fucking dogs. You would think they could find somewhere else to fornicate other than my driveway,” Lindsey mumbled, mostly to herself when she got back in the car.
“Who do they belong to?” I asked, still laughing.
“Me. I got them from a Wal-Mart parking lot salesman for ten dollars. They are just mutts but they let me know when someone is coming over. There is a bitch in heat somewhere, so that’s all they have been studying for the past few days. Just like a damn man.” I laughed, Lindsey was funny, although I knew she was not trying to be. “Well, welcome to my ponderosa,” Lindsey said, putting the car in park and getting out.
Lindsey’s house was a small wooden framed cottage that was painted a light blue. A white picket fence went around the front of the house and opened into a small garden. We walked up the steps onto the porch that housed two white rocking chairs. The porch went down the side of the house and across the front. The railing was white and looked freshly painted. I had always imagined Lindsey living in an apartment somewhere, so it was surprising to see how much pride she took in the small cottage. Now that I had seen it, I could not imagine her living anywhere else. She opened the front door, which I noted was not locked and led me inside the living room. “Make yourself at home,” she said, throwing her purse on the turquoise couch and walking out of the room.
The walls were covered in canvas paintings, each with an LI inscribed on the bottom. Lindsey was quite the artist. There were pictures of various insects, animals, trees, flowers and even a couple of portraits of some woman. The old hardwood floors were covered in worn rugs and all the furniture looked distressed, but made the room look airy and bright. There was no T.V. in the room, but an easel with a half- finished canvas painting stood in the corner next to a shelf full of paints and brushes. I looked through the door that Lindsey went through and could see all the way to the kitchen.
With my curiosity getting the best of me, I walked through the door that led to a bedroom that stretched the width of the house. The large four post bed was white and looked like it had once been a canopy bed, but was now draped in a mossy green net that was blowing in the breeze coming from the open windows in the room. It looked like something out of a dream. Large, white, overstuffed pillows were piled high on the matching white down comforter and I could see a slight dip in the middle of the bed letting me know that the mattresses were old and worn. Just like the living room, the walls here were also covered in paintings, but all of streams, rivers, woods and cottages similar to the one she lived in. An old dresser covered in perfumes and framed pictures sat across from the bed.
“I’m kind of a do-it-yourselfer,” Lindsey announced from the doorway.
“I think it’s amazing,” I said truthfully.
“When I started working for you, I lucked up and found this place for rent really cheap. The outside was overgrown and the inside was covered in dust, but the structure was good, and the owner told me I could paint the furniture if I wanted. I have been here over two years and I have never paid full price for my rent. He always finds a way to knock something off, because I have fixed or updated something,” she said smiling.
“Have you thought about buying it?” I asked.
“Maybe. Wanna see the rest?” she asked turning and leading me out of the room and into another. I knew she was avoiding the topic, but I didn’t mind. I was pretty discreet myself. Something else we had in common. “This is my guest bedroom, but I use it as an office. Whoever lived here before must have too because I didn’t have to buy anything but a new desk chair,” she said, spinning the chair around and taking a seat. The desk was painted a bright yellow, but didn’t look gaudy or tacky in the least. It went well with the room that was painted an off white color with only a few large paintings of flowers on the walls. A small sofa sat in front of a large stone fireplace and the walls around it were lined with books.
“I love to read. During the winter I spend almost all of my time in here reading,” Lindsey said, abandoning her seat to run her fingers along the books on the shelf, just as I had done many of times.
“I do too,” I said, liking the fact that my employee and potential friend loved reading as much as I did. We walked into the kitchen, which just like the desk, was painted a bright yellow. The cabinets were white as were the appliances and the small breakfast area had a white wooden table for two. There were so many windows that there was not very much room for paintings, but Lindsey had still managed to squeeze in a few here and there.
“Would you like something to drink?” Lindsey asked. “I have water and milk.”
“Water would be great. Thank you,” I said, taking a seat at the breakfast table. Lindsey handed me a bottle of water and sat across from me.
“So, you gonna tell me what’s going on?” Lindsey asked. I had never seen her relaxed. Nor, had I ever heard her speak so bluntly. I liked it. I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to tell her everything. So, I did. From the first moment I saw Luke, to the moment I walked from the bar. I lay the last twenty-four hours of my life out on the table like an open book. Lindsey sat quietly, listening intently to everything I had to say. When I was finished, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I sat there a minute, delighting in the fact that I had just opened up to someone, even though the last one I had trusted, only hours ago, had already betrayed me. I was ready to hear Lindsey’s feedback, her advice. I wanted her to get mad and volunteer to drive me back to the bar so that we could team up and beat the shit out of Luke. Maybe even vandalize his motorcycle. I looked at her expectantly, ready for the wrath.
“So, who gave me the day off, you or Luke?” Lindsey asked her face wrinkled up in confusion. I was speechless. Dallas Knox, one of so many words, was speechless once again. “Just kidding,” Lindsey said, laughing and looking very pleased with herself. I laughed along with her, although I didn’t find the comment as humorous as she did. “Well, it sounds to me like you have it bad for this incredibly hot guy,” she said, laughter subsiding.
“I had it bad. Not anymore. I am totally over him. I could care less if I never see his face again,” I said, nodding my head in agreement with myself.
“Liar,” Lindsey retorted. Before I could respond, she was speaking. “You like him. I’m not fully convinced that you don’t love him. Either way, this guy has had a major effect on you. Trust me, it’s a good effect. No offense,” she said, holding her hands up as if to surrender. “Now, your problem is that…. Wait, can I speak bluntly and like not lose my job?” she asked.
I motioned to her with my hand, “By all means, you have the floor.” I knew to prepare myself for the bitter truth of what a bitch I was. I had heard it before, but it would do me some good to hear it again.
“Good, anyway your problem is that you live in a bubble. In your bubble, everything has to be perfect and just as Dallas sees it. That’s fine when you are at work, running a multi-million dollar company. But, when you step into the real world, you have to learn to stand out of the spotlight a little. You follow me?” Lindsey asked.
“I follow you, but I don’t live in a bubble Lindsey, I just simply know what I want and what I deserve,” I responded, not at all offended by what she was saying.
“You’re a bitch,” Lindsey blurted out. She was now standing up. The shock of what she had just said, apparent on her face. “I’m sorry,” she squeaked, her hands coming to her mouth.
I laughed, “I know that Lindsey. I was hoping you would be a little more creative.”
“You have no idea how long I have wanted to say that.” she said laughing. I joined in. It was nice to laugh, even if it was at my own expense. “Ok, I’m sorry. Really. I shouldn’t have said that. Ok. Back to Luke, you are lucky. He could have done what he did in front of everyone. Now that would have been embarrassing,” Lindsey said, helping herself to the candy dish sitting on the counter.
“You speak as if from experience,” I said, eyeing her curiously. Surely Lindsey was not an executive assistant b
y day, biker chick by night.
“No, it has never happened to me, but I have seen it. My ex-fiancé is in a bike club. I was there with him through the whole prospect period a hundred and seventy-six days to be exact,” she said. I could tell she was trying to go for nonchalance, but I saw the pain behind her smile.
“What happened between y’all?” I asked.
“He got patched in. Women were throwing themselves at him just for a chance to ride with the club. He loved that life much more than he loved me. I was tired of the late night phone calls saying he was not going to make it home. Soon, he got to where he wouldn’t even call. I had enough and ended it. He was relieved. I knew it was what he wanted. He had been trying to push me away for months. That was before I moved here,” she responded, busying herself in the kitchen, so that she wouldn’t have to face me.
“What did you mean earlier when you said it could have been worse?” I asked, feeling a change of subject was in order.
“Well, in that world, it isn’t about you. Luke is the president, right?” she asked, looking at me for an answer.
“I think so,” I responded unsure.
“You think so, great. Well if he is, then he sets an example for everyone else. Now, how do you think it made him look to have the woman he brought with him, chatting up another man?” I looked at her with an impassive face. I tried to think about what I had done, but I saw no wrong in it.
“It wasn’t as bad as what he was doing,” I responded. “Bikers hug and kiss their family. By family I mean people who ride with them, fellow club members, other club members. It’s a way of communication for them.” I just stared at her, not sure what she wanted me to say. “Ok, think of it like this, in the real estate world, you are the queen, the Alpha and Omega, top of the line. Nobody does real estate as well as you. In the bike world, that’s Luke. You know how you tend to take three hour lunch breaks? Sometimes it’s because you have business to attend to, sometimes you just want to go to 306 Front Street and eat, knowing good and damn well it will take and extra thirty minutes just to get through traffic. My point is that you can do that because you are the boss. But, what if I did that? What if your clients had to wait because your employee wanted to take a three hour lunch break? How would that make you look?”
She had me. I got it. I would have fired her on the spot if she had pulled some of the stunts I did. I could do it because I was the boss. She did as I told her, that’s how the business worked. Apparently, that was how Luke worked too. Except I was the one being told what to do.
“Hey, you still with me?” Lindsey asked, waving her hand in front of my face.
“I get it. But, I don’t like it. Not that it would matter even if I did,” I said, closing the subject. My phone began ringing in my pocket, and my heart fluttered at the sound. I knew who it was without even looking. I glanced at the screen and saw Luke’s name flashing. Without thinking twice, I hit the ignore button and sat the phone on the counter.
“What the hell are you doing?” Lindsey asked, looking at me like I had lost my mind.
“I’m not interested in anything he has to say,” I responded.
“Dallas, I thought we talked about this,” Lindsey whined.
“No, we did not talk about this. And, we are not going to,” I said stubbornly. I knew I was being irrational and that I would most likely regret it later, but I didn’t care. I had done nothing wrong and if Luke had expected me to act a certain way he should have told me.
“Fine. I’m hungry. Want a pizza?” Lindsey asked. I was glad that she was willing to let the topic die. My phone rang once again, and without looking to see who it was, I cut the phone off.
“I don’t really have much of an appetite. But, I am in the mood for a good chick flick,” I said smiling at her.
“Don’t worry,” Lindsey said flashing me a smile. “I have just the one.”
I liked Lindsey’s idea of a chick flick. I was full of M&M’s and popcorn, completely mortified, and aware of the least little sound after watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and the Exorcist. I lay sprawled on the couch, my yawning uncontrollable.
“Would you like to spend the night?” Lindsey asks, mirroring my yawning. “If you promise not to question your sexual orientation, you can sleep with me.” I laughed at her attempting to do a sexy pose and batting her long eyelashes at me.
“Sure,” I replied sleepily. We made our way into the bedroom, Lindsey cutting off light switches as she went.
“Here ya go,” she said, tossing me an oversized MSU t-shirt. I walked to the bathroom to scrub my face and prepare for bed. Lindsey, who obviously had no shame, was already half naked before I had even left the room. Pulling my hair back I washed my face carefully removing all traces of makeup. I stared at my shiny, clean face in the mirror. My big hazel eyes seemed sad and the feeling was reflected in my heart. It had been a long day and although the movie was enough to deter me, I knew the night was coming and the memories of the day were flashing back, and becoming clear in my mind once again.
I missed Luke. I wanted to talk to him, but my pride would not allow it. Was it possible to miss someone so much? I had just met this man, yet I felt like I had known him all my life.
“Ohhhh Dallllaaasss...,” I heard a sing-song voice call from the bedroom. A slow smile formed on my lips as I left the bathroom to join my new found friend in her bed. I couldn’t help but laugh at Lindsey’s splayed body over the bed, rubbing my pillow and eyeing me seductively.
“Move it, bitch.” Lindsey laughed, rolling back onto her side of the bed.
“It’s good to see you smile,” she said, without any trace of humor. “Wanna see something really cool?” I nodded my head, unable to contain my smile. Lindsey patted the bed and I climbed in under the covers. The bed dipped in the middle causing us to nearly be on top of one another, but it was extremely comfortable. The closeness didn’t bother me at all. It actually reminded me of a sleepover. Lindsey grabbed a remote next to the bed and hit a button. Sounds of water falling on a tin roof filled my ears. I could also hear lightning and thunder. “I have to have this to sleep or else I will hear the house creaking and shit my pants, thinking someone is coming to get me,” she said laughing, but I could tell she was serious. She hit another button and the lights went out, but when I looked up the ceiling above us was glowing with stars. “Pretty awesome, huh?” she asked without looking at me. Wow.
“Definitely awesome, I love it.”
“Goodnight boss.”
“Goodnight Lindsey and thank you, for everything.”
“Mm hmm,” was the only response I received. I grabbed my phone, switching it on to set my alarm. I would have to get up early, so I would have time to go home before work. My notification window lit up letting me know I had a message. *Answer the fucking phone* *Where are you* *I swear to God Dallas if you don’t answer me….* Wow…. several messages, all from Luke. My heart lurched when I read them. Even though they were rude and not exactly what I was hoping to hear, I couldn’t help but feel excited that he tried to contact me numerous times. My phone pinged again with a new message. My breath quickened when I saw it was from him. *I’m sorry about today. The world I live in is very different from yours. Please forgive me. I have returned your car to your home (personally) so no strange man has access to your private information. I hope to see you again someday. Keep my number and don’t hesitate if you ever need anything.*
What the hell? He hoped to see me again someday? My heart fell, as the unfamiliar feeling of rejection took over. He didn’t want me. If he did, he would have asked to see me again. The realization of it all consumed me and I had to fight hard to stifle a sob. I set my alarm and laid my phone beside the bed, then turned to stare at the stars above me. I closed my eyes and let the sound of the rain and the memories of Luke lull me to sleep.
Chapter 8
The following week passed by in a blur. Lindsey was off on Monday, courtesy of Luke, and Tuesday, courtesy of me. Back in the office on W
ednesday, there was plenty for her to catch up on and an abundance of deals for me to close. Things around the office were much more relaxed, now that she and I had bonded. It seemed that more work was getting done and my appreciation for her had become more and more evident, considering I did both our jobs the first part of the week.
Friday finally rolled around and she sank in the plush leather chair in my office with an exaggerated sigh. “Thank God this week is over. I believe we deserve a drink.”
“I have to agree. How about you make us a reservation at Mahogany and we will let the company treat us,” I said, smirking at her.
“Done,” she said standing and making her way out of the office. I walked to the window, looking out at the busy streets of downtown Hattiesburg. The sleek, modern interior of my office was much different from the outside historical area. Bricks lined the one way street and made a rumbling sound when the cars passed over them. The rumbling seemed to get louder with the passing seconds. I soon realized that the sound I was hearing was not the bricks at all, but a motorcycle coming from the distance.
My heart leaped in my throat and the aching I had in my chest resurfaced as my thoughts turned to Luke. It was him. He was coming to see me. I had not talked to him in a week, but he was not far from my memory. I could still feel his arms around me, his intoxicating smell, and his lips on mine. My lips turned up in smile, but quickly fell when the bike passed right by my office never taking a second glance, or slowing in the least. It was not Luke. I was suddenly aware that someone was standing beside me. I turned to see the sad expression on Lindsey’s face. Her apologies were apparent even without words.