Gangsters In Time [Part I]

by Stanimir Mirov

  They all gathered at the appointed place. Once dismounted, the three of them started hugging each other.

  “What the hell were you doing in the pub? And how did you manage to get out of the fucking pen?” Leo ask, interested.

  “Long story,” Hitler replied and smiled.

  “To make it short,” Ernak started, “I killed the guard. We managed to find a few horses. Then we went to the town and just followed the dead bodies from there.” everybody laughed. “We asked questions and understood you had came here. You know the rest.”

  “So all of this was to free us?” Storaro inquired.

  “Yes!” everyone answered at the same time.

  The bearded cowboy hugged them again as a sign of appreciation. They heard gunfire from the town and dust rose everywhere.

  “Uohoo, the law keepers act fast here. They seem to be very motivated.”

  One of the Indians descended from the hill and explained that at least fifty riders were coming their way. Quite a large number, even for an ambush. Our people had no more than a five minutes head start.

  “There are excellent trackers among them!” Garry spoke. “There is nowhere to escape. An ambush here is the best solution.”

  “You are right, but not completely right,” interrupted Hitler, “I got a better idea. We'll leave six people here to slow them down. Three on both sides of the road. The rest will move forward to the next hill. We will leave six more there. We will have a big head start and will take them to the village of the chief. They won’t dare to attack. We'll send someone ahead to warn him. The first ambush will retreat after ten minutes. You have fast horses, right? Now is the time to see exactly how fast those famous Mustangs are!”

  Hitler and Ernak handed one gun to Garry and Storaro, and everyone started riding towards the Indian village.

  The six Indians who remained stared blankly at each other. No matter how crazy they were, the thought of the upcoming events made them sick. And the drugs were running out of their system. The one who didn’t know English, with his half-drugged brain, was trying to explain the situation to himself, “Six-fifty?!” he said in clear Indian language, and then in pure English, “What the fuck?”

  The last words seemed to echo in the minds of his friends. It took them just a second to mount the horses and disappear. Eyewitnesses claimed that they arrived in the village long before everybody else...

  The second ambush didn’t even dismount and just rode

  to somewhere. Next three weeks, nothing was heard of them. One day, they just appeared emaciated and thirsty, but still cautious.

  Soon the posse started catching up with the criminals who were delayed because Galfonino had a great need to relieve himself. The dust that rose from the horses began to approach more and more. Leo realized that his buddy wouldn't be over soon, so he decided to take a risk. Made a sign to the Indians to continue without them and to thank the chief, in case they never see him again. They said goodbye to both cowboys too.

  “Well bastards, from now on, we are all alone. Whatever happens, happens…”

  The three quickly cleared the road and hid among the trees, and as for the fourth, he was already well concealed in the bushes. It hadn't even been a minute before they heard the clatter of the horses. Galloping horsemen began to pass around our people. In front rode, the sheriff miraculously survived after the shootout. After the posse had passed, Capone pulled his pants, mounted his horse and approached the rest, with a smug look of a recently milked goat.

  “Phew, I probably lost five pounds.”

  “No kidding, you look thinner.”

  Everyone laughed, and Ernak, disgusted by the fresh information, slightly tilted his head sideways as if to remove the image from his mind.

  “I think it's time to get out of here. They should have enough material to write ten novels about us...”

  “How are we going to find the machine?” Galfo spoke quietly at first, then raised his voice. “You know, that metal thing we arrived with to this God-forsaken place in.”

  There was a brief silence, and everyone glanced with that imitating thinking face.

  “I think it's time to visit the mayor!” Hitler smiled, obviously pleased that this time, he thought of it first.

  Chapter XII

  The One With The Mayor

  Leo put his headphones on, and they all departed towards the city, in which the gangsters had been imprisoned until recently. They stopped several times to rest the horses and someone to ease under the pretext that the local food was to be blamed.

  The moon had already risen when the city began to show in the distance. In the recent days, the press had written a lot about the "unknown cowboys". Their portraits were hanging everywhere, announcing rewards for their heads. Naturally, the last part had been added recently.

  Once they approached the city in no more than a mile, they left the horses and continued on foot. They had to get rid of their clothes first because everybody had seen them. Fortunately, while entering the city, they saw a house with a small shop and sign "Tailor". Leo unlocked the door with a wire. The others looked surprised.

  “Professional distortion of my student years...” explained the "crazy chemist".

  They slipped into the house, and Leo went directly to the second floor to wake up the tailor.

  During this time, the gangsters acted like they were at home. Capone sat in a chair, put his feet on the table and lit a cigar. Ernak went looking for food, and Hitler just sat facing the stairs and waited impatiently.

  Not long after, a female scream deafened the house. Apparently, the tailor was a woman because the only male words that were heard were, “Calm down woman, I will pay you.”

  She initially did not understand what he wanted to pay for, so she smacked him in the face twice, but after Leo did not react, she finally decided to ask.

  The stairs slightly shined on, and the squeaking of old boards was heard again. The woman had lit a gas lamp and slowly went down holding the arm of the gangster. The lamp light flooded the whole bottom floor, and the blonde beauty was slightly embarrassed again, ready to panic. And who wouldn’t?!

  Against her was leaning man with a strange mustache, which was turning his gun with satisfaction. In the middle of the shop, another man, almost as scary, was casually making smoke circles with his mouth, and from the kitchen appeared another one, with a horrible haircut. The thug with the hairstyle was eating chicken leg from his left arm and chicken wing from the right.

  “I hope you are feeling comfortable?” the lady timidly spoke.

  The man with the cigar finally looked up at the girl and smiled, “How do you always manage to get the hot pieces?”

  Only when she saw the face of Galfonino, the woman looked carefully. Then she looked at Hitler, Ernak, and Leo successively. Her face was no more than an inch of The Sock's face when a wave of saturated excitement and chills went through her. Bristling from all these feelings, she put her hand over her face to hide her reaction at least a little. The only words that tore from her lips were, “Oh, my God.”

  “Well, no need for formalities...” Hitler smiled, and Ernak brought her a glass of water. Having calmed down, the woman spoke again, “You are the gang of Air Jordan!?”

  They all looked at each other.

  “This is the doing of that fucking reporter...”

  The woman continued, “Clint, Frank Morgan Junior, Bucho, and Jordan.”

  Ernak cleared his throat pointedly, “Michael Jordan, also known as "Air Jordan".”

  “Of course. I just can’t understand what you are doing here since there are such big rewards for your heads?”

  The blonde chick managed to attract their attention.

  “Rewards?” Capone asked.

  “Yes, I think it was ten thousand dollars for Jordan, nine thousand for Frank and Clint, and fifteen hundred for Bucho.”

  “Whaaaat?” Hitler nervously shouted. “Fifteen hundred? This is an abomination! Don’t they know who I am? A
re they fucking with me? I’m going to kill a few people!”

  Filled with rage, the German headed for the door.

  “Calm down,” his friend grabbed him by the arm. “We'll fix your rating. But first, let's change our appearance. If she recognized us, others probably will too...”

  The skilled tailor took their measures and found them costumes in no time. Hitler looked out from the window and saw several dark subjects across, watching them.

  “Bounty hunters! How much more will I have to kill before I get out of this fucking year?” Galfonino angrily shouted and paced nervously.

  “I know how to get out. We need only a few sticks of dynamite and an approximate number of the hunters...”

  “We will count them,” came the voice of Ernak, “but since when you have started shitting dynamite?”

  “Actually,” the tailor interrupted the following laughter, “I have some. My brother is a military and has small warehouse stocks downstairs in the basement.”

  Leo and Ernak headed to the cellar. Galfo and Hitler gazed out to count the attackers.

  To the amazement of the gangsters, the basement was quite extensive. Swords, guns, belts, and all kinds of other weapons hung on the walls. There was a cupboard full of revolvers, but in a half-empty corner was wallowing a wooden box. The Sock gently opened it.

  “Holy Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus Christ. Your brother is not a colonel or something?”

  “General of something.”

  “Ahm,” both gangsters shook their heads.

  “I'll get the dynamite, you grab two boxes of ammo and let's get out of here before we mess up even more.”

  They reloaded, repeated the plan twice and, as always, said a prayer before they started. The Italian climbed to the second floor, lit another cigar and the first fuse.

  Across the street, one of the bounty hunters got up and also lit a cigarette. The moment he lit the match, he saw something flying towards him. There was a bang. Legs, arms, heads, brains, meat, and entrails flew in all directions.

  “Wow, George exploded.”

  The remaining dozen hunters came out of their hidings and walked slowly toward the house. Another stick of dynamite flew from the second floor, but this time, it was followed by two more from the first floor. Again, there was a loud thunder. Several villains fell dead, and the others began to lose their sense of humor. While the bustle lasted, the shop door opened, and two cowboys burst out shooting. Two seconds later, a savage with a strange hairstyle sprinted straight through the window, shooting in directions known only to him. The last cowboy showed on the terrace and with a quick leap landed on the ground and frantically continued shooting. Hunters have long been dead, but because of the smoke, the gangsters had not noticed until they needed to reload again…

  Leo turned to the shop and walked towards the blonde chick, who was speechless.

  “This should cover the bill,” the gangster handed some banknotes. “And here is the tip…”

  The Sock put his right arm around her waist, pulled her smoothly to himself, looked at her with his most loving gaze and passionately kissed her. The woman melted like chocolate in his hands. The cowboy, pleased with himself, winked and disappeared into the darkness with his friends.

  Along the noises and corpses, the neighborhood was highlighted, and people walked everywhere. It was not long before the authorities appeared, which was good for the gangsters who were headed towards the mayor's house, whose address they learned from the tailor. The search did not last very long. The house just stood out among the rest and was visible from afar.

  “Ehe, the mayor is living like a king!” Ernak was watching the palace in amazement.

  “And with more security than Don Corleone. Apparently, he foresaw that we would visit him. We'll have to sneak inside.“

  Four figures emerged from the dark street and jumped over the fence around the mansion. Dog barking was heard, and two German shepherds ran towards the shadows.

  “Fuck, I hate dogs.”

  “Great, just when we need bait. Speak to them in German, maybe they will understand. Galfo, run with Hitler.”

  “Run? Where?”

  Before he could understand, the German had already gained momentum.

  “Over there,” Leo pointed his finger at the dictator who was sprinting on the lawn as if he was the famous world record holder at 100 meters, Ben Johnson.

  “As always, this shit has to happen to me?!”

  Galfonino took off his jacket and started running after Hitler. Since he was closer, the dogs went after him. The Italian did not need much time to catch up with his friend and pass him.

  During this time, Leo and Ernak moved to the house. Fortunately, the guards were badly distributed. On the main gate, there were 6-7 people, and the house had only two at the entrance. Ernak pulled his knife and silently eliminated the guards. Both time travelers went inside.

  Тhe endless dining room was lit, and the mayor entered with a dance step, cigar and whiskey, obviously amused. Suddenly, the cold steel pressed into his skull darkened his mood.

  “An interesting taste in underpants!”

  The chief was not paying attention, but once Leo mentioned, he stared at his trousers encrusted with teddy bears.

  A drop of sweat appeared on the balding scalp of the mayor. This time, his luck ran out. The Sock handed him pants and gave a sign put it on.

  “Now you will show us where the machine is, it is our property. And no tricks or I will add you to the long list of dead.”

  Mayor put on his pants, shivering. He drank the whiskey and tried to bargain, “If I show you the place, you won’t kill me, right?”

  “Depends on how you approach the guards outside!”

  At that moment, two shadows could been seen for a second as they passed along the window.

  “Oops, I guess we forgot Galfo and Hitler!” Ernak pushed the mayor.

  “Now we will go out, and you will call the dogs first. After that, all of us will get on the wagon, and you will bring us to the place. At the smallest sign of disobedience, I will cut your eggs, and then the bacon will follow...”

  The bald man bristled and vigorously stepped outside to call the dogs and the coachman. After a few minutes, he returned with the two sprinters. Their shirts were wet from the sweat. They tried to catch their breath while making strange, sobbing sounds. The gangsters leaned against each other with their residual energy. Galfonino tried to speak with a sobbing, quiet, slightly shrill and croaking voice, stretching a hand toward Ernak.

  “W-W-W... water.”

  Hitler just shook his head and pointed at the jug on the table with his nose. The chief handed them the water, which was gone in no time.

  “I was running so fast at some point, I had the feeling I had crossed the sound barrier.”

  “That is because your ears were filled with sweat and didn’t hear any sounds for a moment. Trust me, I know,” Adolf patted him on the shoulder.

  After they had pulled themselves together, they boarded the coach, and the driver drove ahead. At the entrance of the mansion, the mayor nodded, and the guards opened the gates.

  “Look, guys,” the mayor spoke, “about your metal widget, I lied. We tried to move it, but we were unable even to lift it up. It is sitting anchored in the same place. Some people are keeping it safe, but this is hardly a problem for you.”

  “You are right,” Galfonino interrupted, “now that you are with us, we won’t have to kill them. Tell the driver to drive towards the machine and wake me up when we arrive.”

  Silence followed. Capone, Hitler, and Ernak slept. Only Leo was looking at the moon through the window of the carriage. He thought about the action, in which he joined at the age of 21. Every day shootings, adrenaline, he felt that he had enough for the moment. He was quickly ready to finish with that way of life. Looked at sleeping Galfonino who was leaning on the shoulder of Ernak, open-mouthed. He remembered how they had met at a party and visibly smiled. Both had come uninvited, a
nd after one stole all the money of the drunken students and the other loaded his car with anything valuable, both got drunk and started hitting on the same girl. Snotty and willing to do at least fifteen minutes of sex, they threw themselves against each other. Soon the whole house had become a battleground. Girls, boys, slaps, kicks, bottles, tables, complete anarchy. And no one knew that the two who began the fight went upstairs and made threesome at dawn with the girl.

  “We are almost there!” came the voice of Hitler. “Ernak, Galfo, get down here just in case, so there aren't any surprises.”

  Four men, around a bonfire, were talking about something when they saw the moving carriage bathed by moonlight, descending from the hill toward them. They abruptly stood up and pulled their guns. Three of them took positions behind a nearby cart, and the fourth hid in the bushes with a rifle in his hand.

  The coach arrived, and the mayor put his snout through the window.

  “Nobody shoot!”

  The door opened, and he appeared first, then a propped behind his head gun and finally, Leo. Hitler decided to get down from the other side and look around.

  “What the hell?” shouted one of the guards. “Wasn’t the plan different?”

  “It was…” interrupted a voice in the darkness behind him.

  The three strangers turned and saw Ernak with a gun directed at them. Hitler also came.

  “Slowly drop your weapons on the ground.”

  “Do what they say!” the mayor encouraged them. “Otherwise, we all gonna die like dogs.”

  Suddenly, a shot was heard from somewhere, and the mayor fell as a plank with a bullet in the head. Leo reacted immediately and jumped into the coach on his face. Hitler and the chief opened fire. Two of the guards fell dead, but the third managed to pull and shoot back. They quickly took cover. The shooting from the bushes continued, and the harmless driver pulled out a rusty shotgun from under the seat, determined to avenge his boss.