SOULLESS (Black Thorns, #2)
Page 13
“How dare I?” I snarl, taking an ill-advised step closer to her. “How dare I? You were nearly fucking killed on that highway! You get that?”
“Yes, I get that! Of course, I do!”
“Ralph told us what you did! The leverage shit you put in place to take out the assholes on my list and the deal you struck with Kent. Oh, I’m sorry, not the deal—the blackmail shit you pulled on him. Are you fucking crazy?”
“I did it to protect you! He won’t come after you now!”
“Right, so he’s coming after you instead now! How does that help any of us? Huh? Tell me,” I yell, getting in her face now. “How the fuck does that help us? You in danger and being his target’s worse to me than me being the one. Yeah? You get that, woman? Do you?”
“I didn’t know he’d play me. I didn’t think he’d—”
“Yeah, you didn’t think. You thought you knew him, cuz you fucked? Is that it? You don’t, Rox. You dunno the dark side of him and what he’s really capable of. He never showed you, cuz he knew you’d be disgusted by it and then that woulda equaled no more pussy for him back then, yeah? You get that?”
“Shut up!” she screams at me.
Oh, now she’s all sensitive, cuz I just basically called her pussy. Well, too fucking bad, cuz that’s exactly what she was to that asshole. She’s gotta understand that so she can see she dunno him, so she won’t try to pull shit again tryin’ to handle a man she dunno well enough. If you dunno your fucking enemies, how the hell can you defeat ‘em? Argh!
“I told you to stay outta it! Why didn’t you listen to me, Rox?”
“Because, I didn’t want you to kill, Neil!”
“I had it! I was sorting it!”
“I can’t lose you!” she screams at me. Her hands slam into my chest, knocking me back a step. “I need you, the man you are now. Not some twisted version of you!”
“You ain’t gonna lose me, woman.”
“Not anymore, because I’ve taken care of it, by—”
“By what?” I growl, grabbing hold of her arms and jerking her into me. “By cuffing me in my own fucking office? By going after Kent alone?” She fights me, tryin’ to break outta my grip. I tighten my hold and glare down at her. “By not telling me you’re pregnant!”
Her eyes go wide with shock.
We stand there just staring at each other for a long while.
“My dad told you?” is the first thing outta her mouth.
Really? That’s her first thought? “Yeah. He was freaking the fuck out after you took off like that.” I let go of her and demand, “That all you got to say for yourself?”
It better not be. We ain’t even close to being done here yet.
“I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry,” she says in a small voice.
Didn’t mean to? “What?”
“To get pregnant. I just…I forgot to take that pill and then—”
“You think I’m mad that you’re pregnant?”
She looks at me, unsure. “Yeah, you didn’t exactly get a choice.”
I scoff. “Babe, I’m a grown man. I know my shit and me fucking you without a condom in the first place was my choice right there, yeah?”
“No. I wouldn’t let you pull out.”
“You think you coulda really stopped me if I’d wanted that, huh? I’m a lot stronger than you, babe. If I don’t want something to happen, believe me it ain’t gonna.”
“I—”
“Enough,” I tell her, taking her hands in mine. “I’m mad, cuz you didn’t tell me.” I can feel my anger starting to subside just from the thought of my kid being inside her. “I’m fucking ecstatic that you’re pregnant again.” I cup her face in my hands. “You say you need me? Well, I need you, babe. Need us. Nothing makes sense without you. Jesus. I can’t think straight without you. Can’t see straight. Can’t even breathe right. Living life without you these last few months has been the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t wanna do it no more. I can’t wait, Rox. Can’t wait for the right time. Cuz you’re here now and, for the life of me, I can’t let you go. I love you, babe.” I press my lips to hers and kiss her softly, groaning at the taste of her, the sweet feel of her. “Fucking love you so damn much. You’re mine. You’ve always been mine.”
The sweetest smile I’ve ever seen spreads over her lips. “I love you. I’m yours, Neil.”
Her hands slide into my hair and she tugs gently, urging me back to her mouth.
I lick her top lip and she opens for me. I plunge my tongue inside, stroking along the length of hers slowly, taking my time. Cuz it’s different this time. I’m claiming her again. Taking back my girl.
I feel her hands on my belt and she pulls me closer. “I want you. Now.”
Shaking my head, I tell her, “Not here, Rox.”
She frowns at me, unbuckles my belt and pops the fly of my jeans. Her hand slips inside and slides along my cock that’s already so fucking hard for her. Looking up at me, that come-fuck-me-look of hers flashing at me, she says, “Why not?”
Jesus Christ. I groan as she tends to my cock with that perfect touch of hers, her soft fingers gliding along the length of it, driving me outta my goddamn mind.
“I can’t…you ain’t…a whore,” I gasp out on a husky breath.
“Neil,” she says, pulling her hand outta my jeans and making me grunt. She’s killing me. She’s actually gonna kill me here. Well, it’s the best way to go out.
“Yeah, babe?” I manage to respond.
“I know you want to.”
That’s it!
I lunge at her and sweep her up in my arms. She shrieks at my sudden move.
I put her down on her bike.
I step back and fix my jeans. She looks at me with confusion. “What are you doing?”
“The right thing, for once, when it comes to you.”
“Neil.”
“Rox, I’m right on the edge, babe. Don’t push it, yeah? I don’t wanna take you like a whore again, okay? You deserve better than that. You’re mine and you’re carrying my kid in you.”
She huffs, but don’t make another protest.
I walk back to my bike and snatch up my helmet. “Here.” I toss it to her and she catches it. “Dunno where yours is at, but you ain’t riding another second without that protection.”
“I used it as a weapon when four of Malcolm’s guys attacked me in the hotel parking lot.”
“What?” I roar, incensed at what she just revealed there.
She tries to placate me by saying softly, “I’m fine, okay? I’m here. You’re here with me now and I’m fine.”
It takes me a moment, but I manage not to escalate it. “Fine,” I grunt.
“What about you?” she says, gesturing to my helmet.
“Just put the damn thing on.”
“Neil, I don’t think I can make it all the way back to the clubhouse.”
I walk back over to her, concerned. “Why not, babe?”
She casts her eyes down, looking ashamed ‘bout whatever it is. She mumbles, “My stomach isn’t the best and being on my bike isn’t helping the situation. Also, I’m just really tired and I don’t think I can manage an hours-long ride right now.”
She’s too cute for words. The woman can’t deal with showing any weakness, not even to me. “My house ain’t that far from here. We’ll crash there tonight and head on back in stages tomorrow. Okay?”
She nods with relief. “Yes. Thanks.”
“Oh, and Rox?”
“Yeah.”
“We ain’t even close to being done talkin’ bout all the shit you pulled in the last couple of days. You feel me?”
She gulps and then turns away to start the bike.
“I just gotta make a call to the boys and let ‘em know I got you. I had Smiter on standby. I figured, of all of us, he’d be the one most likely to get through to your stubborn ass. But with the shit you pulled, that weren’t an option in the end.”
She looks back at me and rolls her
eyes.
I grin at her and then pull out my phone. I text Smiter to let him know to head on back to the club. Had him working the surveillance cameras ‘round Brockford with Ralph. It’s how I managed to track her.
Then I call Dealer.
He don’t pick up. The thing just rings and rings. I leave a message, letting him know his daughter’s okay.
Weird. He always picks up. Then again, he is working on tracking Malcolm, so he’s probably riding. And that’s something I sure ain’t telling Rox. If she knew Dealer was doing that she’d pull some of her crazy crap again.
“Ready?” Rox calls as she fires up her bike.
“Yeah, babe. Let’s ride.”
Chapter 21
~Roxana~
“Oh God, Neil,” I gasp. “Don’t stop. Don’t stop touching me.”
“Don’t ever want to, babe,” he says as his talented fingers continue their slow, sensual descent down my naked body.
He’s setting me on fire, his hands branding me with their heat.
My nipples are hard and standing to attention after the relentless show of affection he just finished showing them. I’m coiled so tight from his slow, seductive pleasure that I can’t keep still. I can’t get enough. I need more. But he’s taking his time with me, drawing it out and making me crazy with it.
“Neil!” I cry as his fingers brush the top of my pussy.
“Patience, Rox.”
“I…I can’t. Please.”
He chuckles and grins up at me. “It’s been months since I’ve had you naked in my bed. I wanna savor every moment, every inch of you. I want you moaning my name over and over. I want you outta your mind with my fingers, my tongue and my lips all over you.”
Oh God. His words are making me even more desperate.
When he suddenly dips his finger inside me, I buck up off the bed and let out a wild scream.
“Jesus,” he says off my crazed reaction.
He pulls out just as suddenly and I whimper, not sure how much more I can take of this.
But then his glorious naked body rises up over mine.
I throw my head back and close my eyes, savoring the feel of his hard dick sliding through my wet folds so deliciously slowly, making me feel every impressive inch of him and just how incredibly hard he is for me.
“Mmm…love you dripping for me, babe. So fucking desperate to have me,” he whispers in my ear. “Tell me how much you want this. Wanna hear the words from those sexy-as-sin lips of yours.”
“Yes! Oh God. Please, Neil. I need you. I need you now.”
“Good girl,” he says, his warm breath fanning over my neck. His teeth graze my skin, making me gasp at the welcome bite of pain. “Now…wrap your legs ‘round me. My cock needs your sweet pussy so fucking bad.”
My legs latch onto his waist a second later, squeezing him way too hard. He hisses, but doesn’t tell me to loosen my grip. I didn’t expect him to. Neil rises to any challenge.
I feel the head of his cock at my entrance.
“Hold my hands down!” I cry out. “Neil!”
He lifts his head off my shoulder and looks down at me. His blue eyes are sparkling with anticipation, reflecting exactly how I feel—like a wild animal right on the edge. Wanting to devour. Wanting to be devoured.
He shakes his head at me.
“What?” I ask, not understanding. That’s how we always do it.
I don’t get the chance to push it as he silences me with his dick.
Oh shit.
He plunges into me, driving as deep as he can go in one sudden thrust that has me winded and wanting so much more all at the same time.
But he doesn’t move. He doesn’t start fucking me hard, fast and roughly like normal.
He stays seated deep inside me.
His hands come up and cup my face. “Don’t wanna dominate you right now, Rox.”
“But, I don’t—”
“Shh,” he says, cutting me off. A gentle smile plays on his lips as he tells me, “You’re my woman. I need to do this now.”
I don’t get it. “Do what?”
He kisses my forehead and then breathes me in as he says, “Make love to you, beautiful girl. Don’t need to fuck you right now. I need to love you.”
Oh.
“You feel me?” he asks, when I’m too shocked to respond.
I grin up at him. “Oh, I feel you, Neil. Every inch of you.”
He smirks, enjoying my answer. “Yeah? Do you?”
“Mmm hmm.”
I try to roll my hips, but he clearly knows me and my moves too well, and he presses his hands to them, stopping me.
“Rox,” he admonishes.
The second I see the look on his face, I know he’s seeing right through me. He knows this is uncomfortable territory for me—intense emotion during sex. We’ve managed it before, but it’s been a while since we’ve gone down that road.
His fingers stroke my cheek. “Let go, Rox. I need this from you and I know you need it, too. Let me back in, beautiful girl.”
Oh no. His words are cutting into me. It hurts. It hurts so much just considering letting him in again after he broke me so badly. After he broke my heart.
“Neil,” I say, shaking my head and trying to bite back the tears that I hate I can’t stop from rising to the surface now.
“Ain’t going nowhere. Never again. I’m here now and I’ll always be here.”
“It…it hurts,” I say, slapping my hand over my eyes.
He pulls it down gently, making me meet his gaze. “I know, babe.” What I see from him shocks me: naked vulnerability. He needs this. He needs me. Us.
“I’ve got you now,” he says, kissing my lips, my cheeks, my eyelids, my hair. “You got me?”
Tears are spilling down my cheeks now. He always does this to me. He always makes it impossible for me to hide. “Yes!” I cry. “I’ve got you, Neil. I love you!”
I can’t stop then. Tears are pouring down my face. I hear myself continuing to cry out, yelling at him about how much I love him, but also how much he hurt me by walking away before. And I feel him moving inside me, sliding in and out of me at a slow, sensual pace. Every easy thrust seems to lessen the pain shattering all around me; the physical pleasure he’s bringing me, working to soothe the mental and emotional hurt encompassing me.
“Look at me.”
His words bring me out of myself, drawing me out of where I’d retreated to without even realizing it.
I gaze up at him and he pulls me into him, holding my focus.
He doesn’t say anything more. He just watches me as he continues to move inside me.
He shifts his weight and grinds into me. It has me crying out and arching my back off the bed.
“Yeah, beautiful girl. I know you like that. I’m always gonna take care of you like this. I swear to you that I ain’t never leaving you again. You ain’t never gonna hurt again. Not for nothing, Rox. I got you. Forever. Okay? You feel me on this?”
I nod. “Yes.”
He smiles back at me.
His fingers dance lightly over my clit then. With all the intensity between us, that’s all it takes for me to come apart around him.
He grunts as I hurtle over the edge. I scream his name until my throat’s hoarse and I thrash about beneath him as he holds me tightly to him, not letting me escape.
“Ah, shit. Love how you grip me, babe,” he growls as he comes inside me.
He rolls us over so his weight is no longer bearing down on me. We lay side-by-side just staring at one another in his bed, both of us grinning, because we both know what that just meant. It was our official getting-back-together conversation.
“Rox,” he says quietly, placing his hand on my belly. “This is our second chance here.”
I grip his hand tightly. “I know.”
“I ain’t gonna let nothing take it away this time. I swear to you.”
Even as he says the words, I can hear the sliver of doubt in his voice. His anxiety. “It’s
going to be fine, Neil.”
“You’re right. It is gonna be.” His hand leaves me and he sits up in the bed. “We’re gonna head back to the clubhouse tomorrow and I’m keeping you there, babe. You ain’t leaving, not ‘til this Kent shit’s taken care of. And I’ll take care of it, not you.”
“What?” I say, sitting up, too, and pulling the covers up to my chest to cover my nakedness.
“You heard me,” he says, his gaze suddenly hard and all business-like. This is the club president talking, not the softer version of him that he normally reserves for me.
“I only went for that before, because I wasn’t myself and because I wanted to be with you. You know that. But with you riding off to take care of it and not even being there, there’s no way I’m—”
He lunges at me then, driving me down into the bed. He looms over me, his arms confining mine. “Rox, I ain’t asking here. I fucking need you to do this. The idea that something could rip you and our kid away again is driving me outta my mind. Do you get that? Can’t lose you, babe.” He eyes my belly. “Can’t lose this. Last time nearly fucking killed me. Don’t make me relive it, okay? Just follow my damn orders for once!” He climbs off me and gets off the bed. “You’re going back under lockdown. End of story. End of discussion.”
“No. It’s not the end of the discussion, Neil! I’m not letting you deal with Malcolm alone. We’ll do this together.”
He pulls on his boxers and then spins to me, his eyes flashing with anger. “No! I’ll take care of it. You’re out.”
He starts towards the bedroom door.
“Where the hell are you going? We’re not done here, Neil!”
“I’m going downstairs to calm the fuck down. You’re gonna get some sleep. You said you’re exhausted with the pregnancy and I can see it for myself now, too. So, sleep. You need me, just yell.”
“What? No. I’m fine. I don’t need to sleep right now. We need to talk about—”
He walks out, slamming the door behind him.
Argh! How dare he shut our discussion down by just walking out?
I lay my head down on the pillow and close my eyes in frustration.
In that moment, it becomes clear that he’s right about me needing to sleep, because as soon as my head hits the pillow, I’m out like a light.