A Dangerous and Cruel Love (Dark Mafia Romance Duet, #2)
Page 6
The way she could see so easily past his mask—-
The way she could destroy his defenses without malice—-
Fawn reminded him of her.
Georgie.
“I don’t have any first love,” he heard himself say harshly.
She asked shakily, “But you might have?”
His lips twisted. “She died before I could find out if I had it in me to love her.”
The scrub fell from her limp fingers. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I killed her.” The prince’s tone was dispassionate.
And somehow, that hurt even more.
“Prince, you don’t have—-”
“Her name was Georgie.”
So cold. His voice was so cold, and God, it hurt. She hurt. For him.
“She was a childhood friend, and she was the only girl who saw the good in me.”
Fawn’s heart started to crack. The prince was talking like no one else could see him the same way, and it wasn’t true.
“Knowing what my biological parents suffered – knowing that they died to get me out safe, it made me want to do good. And those first years with my foster parents, I tried...I goddamn tried my very best to do what I could to...help.” His lips twisted. “I was an idealistic fool back then. I thought genuinely wanting to make the world a better place was enough. But I was wrong. You can’t help when most people around you are just waiting for you to stumble and prove to them that you’re what they expected.”
The prince inhaled sharply. “But Georgie was...different. She believed in me, she was in love with me, and because of that I was just a little bit nicer.” The prince’s voice became tight. “I thought I was being kind by letting her closer, but instead I ended up endangering her life because of it.”
His eyes met hers.
“They kidnapped Georgie and took turns raping and beating her, all so they could get to me.”
“Oh, prince.” She bit her lip hard, not wanting to cry because she didn’t want the prince to think she pitied him. “It wasn’t your fault—-”
But the prince didn’t seem to hear her. “They were hoping that I’d trade myself for her.”
The emptiness in his voice tore at her, and Fawn raised her eyes to the water raining down on them, hoping it would help her keep the tears back.
“They needed to kill me because of a fucking stupid vendetta against my parents, even though they had been dead for years. It didn’t have anything to do with me at all, and yet – I wasn’t the one who suffered. It was Georgie.”
Fawn could no longer bear it, and she shook her head desperately, whispering, “You don’t have to say anymore. Please, prince—-”
“But we’re just getting to the good part, parthena mou.” His smile was a knife to the heart, because it didn’t feel right, seeing the prince less than his usual cocky self.
I’m sorry, prince.
If only she had asked about something else.
If only she could absorb his pain in her.
If only.
“Georgie was rescued, and when I visited her in the hospital, she implored me not to blame myself for what happened to her.”
And again, his lips curved in a smile that made her heart bleed.
I’m sorry, prince.
“She’s quite the idiot, isn’t she?” The prince let out a hollow laugh, and the empty sound finished it for her, the cracks in her heart turning into fissures.
I’m sorry, prince.
“She’s not an idiot, p-prince.”
And the tears started to fall.
“On t-the contrary, I think s-she’s a genius, to h-have seen the truth about you.”
The prince wiped the tears that tracked down her cheeks. “You’re only saying that because you’re an idiot, too.”
She choked back a teary laugh. “Birds of the same feather, right?”
“I don’t think so. If you two could have met, she’d hate your guts.”
“W-what?”
“She hates all girls who want me.” And again, a smile that didn’t reach his eyes, a smile that told her he wished he was the one who had died instead—-
I’m sorry, prince.
Fawn threw herself at the prince. “I’m sorry.” That they were naked, that she was still another man’s girlfriend and this man was more imperfect than anyone else—-
None of it mattered.
All that mattered was to make the prince stop hurting.
“I’m s-sorry, prince.” She hugged the prince as tightly as she could. “I’m so sorry for making you talk about this.”
“Idiot.” But the prince’s tone was ragged, and he inhaled deeply, the scent of her hair cleansing him like it was a gift from heaven.
“I’m sorry.” She tried to stop herself from crying, but she couldn’t. “When I asked you about your first love, I r-really expected you to tell me something like your first love w-was a porn star or the widow n-next door because you seemed like that kind of m-man.”
Ah.
His arms went around Fawn—-
His virgin.
His angel.
His idiot.
She cried harder as his arms around her tightened.
“You really are an idiot,” he muttered against her hair. “How can you cry this hard for someone who’s been bullying you?”
“I don’t know!” Her words came out a wail, and despite everything he couldn’t stop the smile from touching his lips at the sound of it.
“Should I even continue with the rest of my story?” He was only partly teasing, but he was surprised when she nodded vigorously against his chest.
Raising her head so she could look into his eyes, Fawn said tremulously, “Only because I think you need to finish it.”
Ah.
He pinched her cheeks.
“Ow!”
“It’s annoying when you’re being perceptive.” He pinched her cheeks harder.
“P-p-pwince,” she yelped incoherently.
“I like it better when you’re an idiot.”
“It w-wurts.”
“Sorry, but this is the only way I can finish the story.”
“Wully!”
“I know.”
She glared at him.
He smiled at her—-
A moment before breaking both their hearts.
“One of Georgie’s rapists got her pregnant.”
Ah.
God.
God.
God.
The prince’s fingers retreated from her cheeks, but Fawn almost wanted to pull them back, almost wanted to be a coward and hide behind her own pain.
Her own pain, which was manageable, compared to what the prince and Georgie had suffered.
She whispered brokenly, “I’m sorry.” She hated that they were the only words she could say, hated that there was nothing for her to do because Georgie was dead, and years had passed with the prince blaming himself.
“She chose to have an abortion, and she left me a letter before going into the operating room.” The prince’s tone became dull. “By the time I got the letter, it was too late. She was gone.”
Ah.
God.
“The words she wrote changed me. In her letter, Georgie said...if I couldn’t escape my past, then maybe I wasn’t meant to do so in the first place. She told me,” the prince continued dully, “that maybe I was meant to embrace it instead, that perhaps I should ruthlessly use my past to be the best I can be for those who needed me.”
His throat clogged at the last words, and suddenly all he could see again was Georgie.
Young, happy, shining—-
But because of him, her life had been cut short—-
“I’m who I am now because of her,” he said rawly.
The Prince of Darkness, saving everyone he could save, because he couldn’t do the same for those who really mattered to him.
“But if I had the power to change things – she’s the one who deserves to live, not me—-”
“Stop.” Small, soft hands claimed his cheeks, cupping his face. “I’m sorry.” And as tears ran down her own cheeks, she pinched his face.
“So you won’t cry.”
“I’m not the one who’s crying,” he pointed out unevenly.
“S-shut up.” She pinched his cheeks harder.
“Idiot.”
“J-just like you.” Her fingers uncurled. “Because you don’t seem to get it. G-Georgie wanted you to be the Prince of Darkness, but she didn’t want you to be just the prince—-”
More sobs threatened to crawl out of her throat, but she forced them down because she still had the most important thing to say.
“She loved you, remember?”
“Like I told you, she was an idiot.” But when the prince started to shake his head, Fawn’s hands slammed against his cheeks to keep it still.
“N-no! You’re the idiot. She loved you, prince. Georgie loved you. And because she loved you, surely you see? She can only be happy if you’re happy, too.”
Her hands fell away.
“So be happy, prince. Stop blaming yourself. Stop trying to make up for everything. Stop acting like your life is of so l-little value just because you’re the Prince of Darkness.” Her voice caught. “Because Georgie thinks...because I think...your life is indispensable because you’re the Prince of Darkness.”
Ah.
“My turn.” The prince pinched her cheeks. “I’m ordering you to stay an idiot. Okay?”
She laughed and cried, but she also yelped in pain when the prince pinched her cheeks harder.
“Stay. An. Idiot. Because if you don’t—-” The prince’s hands left her cheeks, and he suddenly hauled her close to him. “I won’t be able to fuck you anymore.”
Fawn gaped. “You’re only attracted to idiots?”
Yes, if idiots were as sweet and as naïve as her.
But he would rather die than let her know that.
“Enough talking.” And he made sure it was so by lowering his head to catch one nipple in his mouth.
“Prince—-aah!” Fawn couldn’t help moaning the last word out as he began sucking on her breast.
Oh God, oh God.
Just like that, and desire turned her world upside down, and she found herself clutching his hair as the prince sucked harder on her breasts. “P-prince—-”
The prince’s head lifted, and when their eyes clashed, he muttered savagely, “You talk too much.” He bent his head down again, and he started sucking on her other nipple. At the same time, his fingers found her pussy underwater once more, and she buckled against his body with a moan.
Need conquered her body as the prince shoved one finger into her.
“Prince!”
Two fingers—-
Three fingers—-
Her grip on his head tightened as her hips began to move on its own volition, meeting the wonderfully hard thrusts of his fingers.
“Priiiiiiince—-”
And then the prince was fisting her.
She began to sob.
His hand went in and out of her, harder, faster, and her body tightened and tightened.
More sobs tore out of her throat as desire threatened to rise and eclipse her mind.
The prince’s teeth closed over her nipple, and he bit the pouting tip hard.
Fawn buckled one last time in his hold, and then she was coming with a cry, her orgasm flowing out of nowhere.
Creamy moisture gushed out of her, making her Fawn shake with her release, and at that moment she couldn’t even remember why she was hurting over Grant. Right now, all she could remember was his name.
Prince.
Prince.
Prince.
****
The prince didn’t join Fawn for breakfast.
And that’s totally fine, she told herself doggedly. Sure, the cereal pouring down her throat tasted more like liquefied weeds, but that was more like a delayed reaction to Grant’s cheating. It had nothing to do at all with the prince.
Nothing.
And yet—-
It was only when she saw teardrops falling into her cereal bowl that she realized she was crying.
Oh God, what was happening?
She no longer knew how she should feel, no longer knew where to go, or who was crying for.
Grant? The prince? Or herself?
Grant had cheated on her first, but did that make what she was doing now any less wrong?
****
“Come in,” the prince said when he heard the knock on the door.
Igor opened the door but remained by the doorway. “You’re needed in the dining room, sir.”
Ah.
He pushed his chair back. “I told Fawn I’m busy.”
“She’s crying, sir.”
The prince only nodded. “You may leave.”
Igor wanted to say more, but the grim look on the prince’s face told him he would be overstepping, and he reluctantly turned away.
When the door closed behind Igor, the prince stood up and faced the window, his jaw clenching.
Fawn.
Even now, he had no fucking idea what happened, and the look of hurt on Fawn’s face when he told her he wouldn’t be joining her for breakfast slashed his mind.
She was just his lover, he thought savagely. She had no business acting like he was obliged to spend every damn minute in her company.
She had no right to think that.
Even if he had told her things he had never told anyone else—-
Even if there was nothing else he wanted more than to continue being with her—-
Even if she was crying now—-
Cursing under his breath, the prince swung away from the window and stalked out of his study. He started walking, but in the end he was running, feeling like the more seconds passed—-
The prince halted with a rare display of inelegance and tried to catch his breath as his gaze urgently sought Fawn—-
He found her seated alone at the dining table, gazing at him with wide-eyed shock, her half-opened mouth literally stuffed with...cake.
The prince couldn’t help it.
He laughed.
Cringing at the sound, Fawn hurriedly gulped down her glass of water so she could swallow the rest of her cake.
Holy sweet Jesus, this was just—-
The. Most. Embarrassing. Moment. Ever.
The prince strode into the room, looking his usual beautiful self. No swollen eyes like hers, no pale skin, no flaw whatsoever, and her shoulders slumped. Maybe I need to be a bit more evil, she thought miserably. The way it looked like now, bullies got prettier while idiots like her got uglier.
When the prince reached her side, she said weakly, “Hi.”
“Enjoying your breakfast?”
She nodded. When Igor had seen her sobbing over cereal, he had left without a word and came back with a large slice of her favorite red velvet cake.
“Sweets will always make you feel better,” Igor had told her politely before leaving.
She had decided to take him up on his word, stuffing herself with cake—-
And that was how the prince ended up catching her transformation into a glutton.
Fawn stiffened as the prince came to crouch beside her chair. When he slowly reached for her hands, she tried to pull away, but by then he had her locked in his grip.
“I’m sorry.”
She bit her lip hard.
“I didn’t know how to look at you. I didn’t know how to talk to you. Now that you know the kind of person I really am.”
Ah.
She still didn’t speak, but now it wasn’t because she didn’t want to.
Now, it was because she couldn’t.
“I don’t know what’s happening anymore,” Fawn choked out.
And as the truth came out, so did the tears.
“I’ve known you for months, but you...”
The prince’s hold on her hands tightened.
“You don’t just make the
pain go away anymore, prince.” The tears fell faster. “It’s beyond that now. You...you can actually hurt me more than Grant can. And I don’t understand why.”
Ah.
The prince brought her hands to his lips. “I’m sorry,” he said harshly. And he was. He was sorry because unlike her—-
He knew.
He knew exactly why he could hurt her, knew exactly why she could hurt him the same way.
He knew, but it didn’t matter.
It couldn’t.
She looked down at the prince’s bent head, and she couldn’t keep herself from crying, couldn’t stop herself from remembering.
She remembered the first day they met—-
“Please tell us a bit about yourself, Ms. Cornwall.”
She remembered how she used to think he was so dangerous, remembered the way she had forced herself to smile at him, and he had said—-
“You look like a clown.”
And most of all, she remembered the way he had looked at her when she had seen Grant having sex with another girl—-
“What do you want me to do?”
He had asked it quietly, simply, like there was no limit to what he could and would do for her.
How could that man, who would go to such lengths to protect her, be the same man who could abandon her with such cruel ease?
How?
She felt the prince’s fingers release its hold, and she swallowed back a sob as his hands moved up to cup her face.
He made her look at him, and she did.
“Can we start again?”
Ah.
The tears were endless, and she could only look at him.
How?
“Let me just protect you, the way I promised.”
A smile wobbled on her lips even as her heart crumbled. “F-for how long?”
“For as long as you need me to.” The prince wiped a tear away, and her heart crumbled even more.
Ah.
The prince might call her an idiot, and maybe she was, but she could read between the lines, too.
And there was her answer, she thought numbly.
He would be with her for as long as she needed him.
Such pretty words, when she knew what it really meant was that he would only want her for as long as belonged to someone else.
She knew that, and if she weren’t an idiot, she would tell him that wasn’t enough for her.
And she wasn’t.
She wasn’t an idiot, only—-
She chose to be.
Because by now, she realized it was too late.