Flawed

by Sara Hubbard

  “It won’t make a difference. I won’t talk.”

  “I applaud you. You’re braver than most. I’ve seen guys in your situation who literally piss in their pants and give me whatever I want to make the pain go away. They never seem to realize it pisses off guys like me. We have more respect for people that stand their ground and at least try to be strong.”

  Oh, dear God. Is this the end? I’m no stranger to mental pain, but physical? How much can I take before he breaks me? I can convince myself I won’t talk and I have no intention of it, but what if I’m weaker than I think?

  I hang my head, unable to hold back a sob. “He’s my brother. I can’t give him up. Kill me,” I say, raising my head to look in his eyes. “Do whatever you want to me, but please leave him alone.”

  “I never had siblings. I’ve never felt protective of anyone. I’ve always wondered what it would feel like to have someone I loved enough to die for. It’s admirable, really. But self-preservation is a beast and it overcomes everything else. It will overcome your feelings for your brother. You’ll see. And it will hurt more than you can imagine. But I promise you won’t have to live with it long.” He pulls a pocketknife out of his jacket pocket. The blade pops up with a click and I jolt in my seat as if the sight of it is as bad as the damage he intends to do with it.

  Oh, God. I let out a shaky breath.

  “Ever heard of Stigmata? Well, I’m going to nail you to the cross you climbed on to save your brother.” He smashes the knife down and through my hand and then into the chair. I gasp at first, not quite registering the pain. Then synapses fire and my brain responds. Hot, searing pain explodes in my hand and shoots up my arm. I jerk away but my hand is staked to the wooden arm of the chair and it rips at my flesh and I scream out in anguish. A sob rocks through me and my chest constricts, my throat goes dry and then I start to dry heave. My stomach clenches and releases with every hurl. I steel myself, trying to tense my muscles and body to help numb the pain, and prepare myself for what’s coming next, but nothing numbs the burning sensation. I’m so scared. My heart beats so fast I might just have a heart attack. I can’t give Jack up. No matter what Reed does.

  “Please. I won’t do it. I can’t!”

  “That’s not what I want to hear.” He pulls the knife out of my hand while I let out a wail so loud it could shatter glass. Blood travels down my arm and showers over the chair’s arm to drip on my leg. The pain eases up, but only enough for me to breathe through the agony. The heat and stinging remain, but now it throbs, like it’s swelling. It’s growing heavy. I want to cry for my mom or for Niko, but they’re not here. No one can help me. All I can do is pray Niko finds me before Reed gets what he wants. I’ll never forgive myself otherwise. He might as well kill me too.

  He closes his eyes and shushes me like one would shush a crying baby. “I can appreciate how much that hurts. Know that I’m going to do it again. Your other hand is next, but because I sympathize with you, I’m going to give you a moment to think about what you’re doing. And why you need to tell me what I need to know. I’ll find him regardless. You’ll just be saving me some time and yourself a lot of pain.” He slides the blunt end of the bloody knife down my cheek and I flinch. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  He stomps away, moving behind me where I can no longer see him. I swallow a hard lump, my fear growing as I imagine what’s coming next. His footsteps get quieter and quieter. A sob escapes my lips, and my whole body shakes in pain and fear. I try and push it away, to think of something else. I need to be strong. There has to be a way. Anything? But no matter how much I try and jump around in my seat, I can’t do anything. I even try and knock myself over, but I swear he’s bolted the seat to the floor. I recognize the factory now. It’s an old furniture manufacturing plant that closed years ago. My mom worked here once. There are still some machines around, but for the most part, this place is just vacant. Nothing is close by that I could use to escape.

  He isn’t gone long. Maybe ten minutes, although it seems like forever as I continue to breathe through my pain. When he does, like the last time, he pulls out his closed knife and clicks it so the blade once again pops open. “Do you have anything to tell me?”

  I lower my head so it nearly rests on my chest. Then I shake it, as more tears streams down my cheeks.

  23

  NIKO: I try and call Ivy again just before I get to her place, but she’s not answering. I fear the worst, pick up speed, and thrum my fingers on the wheel, praying the cops don’t catch me. That’s the last thing I need right now. I try and tell myself it’s nothing. She’s in the bathroom, or her phone died, but none of that makes sense. She knows the stakes. She’s a smart girl and she’d be sitting next to her phone.

  I peel into the parking lot out back of her place. I shove the door open and run to the stairs without stopping to shut my car door. Ivy’s car is at her place. A good sign. I jog up the stairs but slow when I see her door off the hinges and laying on the floor. My whole body grows cold as blood drains from my face. My muscles tighten and I’m trying not to shake. Please God, no. My thoughts go to Claire. I’m reminded how I couldn’t save her. Please God. Don’t let me be too late.

  I burst inside, frantically calling out her name. “Ivy! Ivy, answer me! Please!” I check every room. I stop in the living room and drop to my knees when I see blood on the floor. No. No, no, no. Please be okay. I swallow a lump in my throat and clutch the roots of my hair while growling in frustration. She’s gone and I have no idea where. Reed. He did this. Yuri wouldn’t be this sloppy. He would have waited for the right moment. This is sloppy, the work of a desperate man. I will kill him when I find him. Tear him limb from limb.

  But I have no idea where to start looking. If she’s still alive—and I have to believe she is, because I can’t live with the alternative—then where do I go? I barely know Reed anymore. I don’t know how he deals with problems or where he might be likely to dispose of them. But I know someone who might.

  “You think he took her?” Vik says when I call him.

  “You should see this place,” I say, trying to keep my voice even. “The door is on the floor with a size eleven footprint dead in the center.”

  “Well, that makes sense, I guess. Reed’s fucked. Now he’s got you as an enemy and his father is going to want him dead when he finds out what he’s been up to.”

  “If anything happens to her… I can’t lose her like we lost Claire. I can’t do it…”

  “Stop. Take a breath. We ain’t going to fix this if you lose your head. What do you need?”

  I take a breath in and let it out slowly. Vik’s right. I’m no good to Ivy if I let my emotions take over. I need to be calm and keep my head. It’s the only way I’m going to get her back safe. My immediate reaction to Vik’s question is to do a cell trace, but Ivy’s phone is staring up at me from the floor. If I’m lucky Reed will have his on him, though considering his father is suspicious, I doubt it.

  “Information,” I say calmly. “Tell me Reed’s MO. How he does things and where. Tell me where he hangs out. Who he sleeps with. Property. Anything.”

  “I think we both know he’s not going to be doing anything predictable right now. The stakes are too high.”

  “I can’t let him just take her!”

  There is rustling by the door. An older lady with a parka and a big fluffy hat on stares at me and then she starts to scream. She runs off and I chase after her, to try and tell her this wasn’t me. That I’m trying to find Ivy. But she disappears into her apartment and bolts her door. I’m sure she’s calling the cops as we speak.

  “I got another problem,” I say quietly as I jog down the stairs and hurry to my car. “Cops might be looking for me.” Fuck. This is one complication I don’t need right now. I’m going to have a hard enough time finding her without having to worrying about dodging the cops. But as soon as that neighbor calls them and describes me, that douchebag Liam is going to do everything in his power to make sure I’m in handcuffs. />
  “Fuck, brother. Here I thought you weren’t itching to go back to jail.”

  Jail. It would be a picnic compared to a life without Ivy. “I’m not in the mood for jokes right now. Meet me at Reed’s place. In twenty minutes.”

  “You’re assuming I’m going to help you?”

  “Of course you are. We’re in this together. Like it or not. So be a pal and tell me where Reed is living these days.” I jump in my car and rev it to life. In less than a minute, I’m pulling out of the parking lot. Sirens ring out in the distance, getting closer and closer. Luckily, I have enough sense to slow down and when the cops pass me they don’t suspect a thing and keep going, headed for Ivy’s place. In my rearview mirror, I watch them pull into the same parking lot I just sped out of.

  Reed lives larger than Vik. Not sure if it’s because he likes to show off his money or if he has more. Probably a little bit of A and a little bit of B. I wait outside the stone building on the nicer side of town. The building is maybe ten stories tall and I’ve seen some of the units in the real estate section of the paper. They’re all lofts and they’re pricey.

  I ditched my car a few blocks away so the cops don’t show up here. I jogged the rest of the way here and now I pace the sidewalk, my whole body full of tension as I wait for back up. My girl is in trouble and Vik’s taking his sweet time. Time I don’t have. Fuck!

  He rolls up and I tap my watch to show him my frustration. He flashes me the finger. He doesn’t care about Ivy and I don’t expect him to, but if he gave a shit about me, he might try moving with a purpose.

  “Time’s a luxury I don’t have right now,” I tell him as he climbs out of his car.

  He rolls his eyes at me. “We’ll get her back. If she don’t talk, he’ll keep her alive to make sure Jack comes to him.”

  “Yeah, how’s that going to happen? How’s he going to get a hold of Jack when she doesn’t have her cell phone?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe she wrote it down somewhere. Fuck, this isn’t my thing. I’m not in the rescue business. I’m a fucking thug.”

  “So think like one. What would you do?”

  “Let me think on it,” Vik says. “For now, let’s just get in his place and see if he left anything behind that might give him away.”

  The doorman nods to Vik as we go in. He stands and adjusts his belt as he greets us. “Reed isn’t here right now, sir.”

  “Don’t matter,” Vik says. “I need to get into his place.”

  “Sir, I can’t do that.” He holds up his hands as we move closer. “I don’t want any trouble but I need you to stop.”

  “Sure, I’ll call Yuri while I wait,” Vik adds. “You want to say hi?”

  The guy swallows and tugs at the collar of his shirt.

  Vik pushes the side of his jacket back to show his gun. We ain’t fucking around and he knows it. If he doesn’t cooperate in the next minute, I’m going to start throwing punches.

  “Yuri sent you?” the guys ask, his voice a little shaky. This asshole is working security and he must weigh no more than a hundred and ten soaking wet. All thin limbs with a narrow face and beady eyes.

  Vik nods. “Why else would I be here? Now let us into his place.”

  The guy doesn’t think long. A few minute later, he’s on the elevator with Vik and I behind him, headed up to the top floor. Then he’s unlocking Reed’s door. He waves us in, and Vik slams the door in his face. I start in the kitchen, ripping open drawers and searching through writing pads and checking the numbers on the phone. Nothing is out of the ordinary. I look up and see Vik at the computer.

  “Nothing in his history,” Vik says. “Oh, wait! I’m lying. Bus routes. He was looking into buses into the city.”

  “For Jack, no doubt.”

  “Yeah, but the bus stops close to the airport. He could be anywhere right now. She tell you where he was going?”

  I shrug as I pull out and overturn a drawer, shaking the contents all over the tiled floor. Old receipts, pens and pencils, loose change and some tools. “Nope. I told her it was better if I didn’t know.”

  “Well, that wasn’t smart.”

  “It was at the time! I didn’t fucking expect things to go this way.”

  Vik stares at me. “Take another breath. Be calm, remember?”

  I crack my neck and do what he says. Although my heart aches more and more the longer she’s gone. Every second, every minute, could mean the difference between her living and dying. If he kills her, I don’t know if I’ll ever be okay again.

  “Okay,” I begin. “So her brother leaves town. Reed probably thinks it’s because Jack knows something. That could be good because he might think Jack’s not willing to talk.”

  “Yeah, but if they’re trying to pin some shit on him, they’ll be looking for Jack. There’ll be an arrest warrant. He can’t run without his name and picture being posted places. Especially since the guy he committed a crime with is now dead.”

  Vik clicks on some buttons, his eyes intent on the computer monitor. “Right. So, Reed thinks if Jack is back in custody, he’ll sing like Brent did. He needs to get to Jack before the cops do, and to find Jack he needs Ivy. Only your girl is one stubborn—”

  “Don’t finish that sentence,” I snap before almost letting out a growl.

  He hops up from the desk and we keep turning over the place. An hour later and the place is destroyed and we have nothing. Absolutely nothing. I sit on Reed’s leather couch and prop my elbows on my knees and hang my head. “He’s going to kill her, Vik. Whether she gives up Jack or not.”

  Vik sits down beside me, the cushions depressing so that I lean in against my brother.

  “Then we have to hope she holds out. Because until she talks, she stays alive.”

  “I was too late for Claire…”

  He sighs and puts his arm around me. “That wasn’t all on you, man. I never protected her either. That asshole she was seeing was no good and I knew it. I should have told her to stay away from him but Yuri liked him and he pushed the guy on her… And I let him. I fucking failed her, man, not you. It was always me.”

  I lean to the side to bump his shoulder with mine. I hate that he blames himself. I don’t want him to hurt like I hurt. For all he tries to seem cold and unfeeling, I wonder if everything is all an act.

  “I’m sorry, Niko. We only got one play. And if we do it, we lose the element of surprise.”

  I look over at him, hopeful.

  “We call him. Hope he answers his phone.”

  Vik pulls out his cell and hands it to me. I don’t like this plan, not even a little, but he’s right. Trying to find Reed would be like trying to comb the desert. He could be anywhere. And he’s not an amateur. He’d make sure he’s somewhere people won’t find him.

  I sigh and press on his name in the contact list. A sick feeling in my stomach rocks me. I’m reminded of the night when Claire called me and begged for my help…right before I listened to that prick set her on fire. The sound of the flames a whoosh in my ear before I heard her wail in a way I’ve never heard anyone before or since. I can still hear the pitch and the desperation when I close my eyes. It haunts me. I can’t go through heartbreak like that again. I won’t.

  The phone rings a half-dozen times before it goes to voice mail. If I were Reed, and I had my phone, I might do the same. But if the person calling left a message, I’d be inclined to check it. I’m hoping he feels the same.

  “Reed, it’s Niko.” I try my hardest to keep my voice even but there’s no use. I’m so full of hatred for him, my words are dripping with it. “I think we need to talk. And I think you know why. I suggest you call me back before I start talking to Yuri about what a little birdie said to me before he flew away.” Click.

  “Bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Vik says. “Little birds? Flying away?”

  I glare at him and I’m about to open my mouth and tell him off when the phone starts to ring. Reed’s name pops up on the display. It worked. Brilliantly. He couldn’t
have given a single moment’s thought to ignoring me. Which means he’s desperate. He’s not thinking things through and that’s not a good sign for Ivy or her idiot brother.

  “Hey, cuz,” Reed says.

  “You have her?” I snap.

  He breathes into the phone and then there’s silence.

  “Answer me!”

  “Niko, you need to stay out of this.”

  I almost laugh in his ear. “You think I’m going to stay out of this? Do you remember me at all? You touch her, hurt her in any way, and people’ll be saying I gave Darren Black a love tap.”

  “I didn’t want it to be like this. I gave her a chance. I even went over to her place and tried to be nice. You know, made up some bullshit story so she’d let me in, but she wouldn’t. She made me the second I knocked on her door. I’m out of options, Niko. Tell me how we’re going to fix this.”

  I curl my fists and resist the urge to punch the walls. I want to hurt him, to beat the life from his body. I want it bad. As much as I wanted to hurt Darren that night all those years ago.

  “I could have been your ally,” I say, my voice icy. “I could have helped you figure a way out of this mess with Yuri. It’s only a matter of time before he decides to put you down. You know that.”

  “Not if he can’t find evidence. I’m his son. He’ll never touch me without proof.”

  I chuckle darkly. “You’re not that stupid. Killing Jack, and Ivy too, isn’t going to make this go away. You’ll just make another enemy.”

  “Two,” Viktor says in my ear, just loud enough for me to hear.

  “I already have,” Reed says somberly. “You ain’t getting over this, Niko. I know that.”

  Vik snatches a pen from the table and starts scribbling some words down on an envelope on the table.

  MAKE A TRADE.

  I shake my head. He writes some more.

  YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW THROUGH.

  Sigh. Okay, I can do that. “I want to deal. I’ll give you Jack, but you have to give me Ivy.”