"He made love to you, Honor," Jordan accused.
"No man has ever made love to me, Jordan, with the exception of yourself. Funny, I remember thinking at the time how strange it was that an act so violent could be called making love."
He winced as if she had struck him again. "This has been one hell of a homecoming, Honor."
She almost felt sorry for him in that moment. Momentarily, she thought of him as he had once seemed to her—tall and handsome enough to steal a young girl's heart away.
"It has not been pleasant for any of us, Jordan. I had a lot of time last night to consider our situation. I know you still love my sister. I would not stand in your way if you want to be with her. I know one cannot help where one loves. I am willing to give you your freedom. Of course, there is Aaron. I do not know what to do about him."
"I will never give you up," he said in a deadly voice. "Never ask it of me again. As for your sister, I once fancied myself in love with her. Now I know it was physical attraction and nothing more." He reached for Honor and drew her into his arms, resting his face against her hair. "You smell so sweet and clean."
Honor felt his hands slip down to her waist.
"I want you, Honor. I want to make love to my wife." His voice deepened. "Please come to bed with me now."
"No!" she said, pulling away from him.
"There is no rush, Honor. Think about what I have said to you. I need you, little one."
Honor watched as he left the room. Did he really mean that he did not care for Meagan? Could she forgive him so that they might have some kind of life together?
She remembered black hair and laughing blue eyes and the tender words spoken to her by Adam. Where was this all going to end? Now for the first time she wished she had gone with Adam when he had asked her to. She loved him so much. When she was in bed at night she allowed herself to think about him, and often he would dominate her dreams. She would grow old like her Aunt Amanda had, she thought, with only her memories of a love that was lost to her forever.
* * *
The next morning Honor and Meagan drove into town. Honor needed to pick up some supplies, and Meagan, bored with sitting around the house and knowing Jordan would spend most of his day in the fields, accompanied her.
When Jordan came home for lunch he found his mother in the study. He bent over her and kissed her on the cheek.
"What have you there?" he said, noticing the letter she held in her hand.
"It is a letter that came for me today. My spectacles are in my bedroom. Will you read it for me, Jordan?"
Sitting down beside her, he removed the letter from the envelope and smiled at his mother. Looking at the letter, he frowned. His mother had made a mistake. The letter was not for her, but for Honor. His eyes narrowed as he began to read:
My dearest Honor,
I wonder if a lady would consider it a compliment if a gentleman told her 'I saw an apple tree today and thought of you.'
That is just what occurred to me today. Are you well? Are you happy? Do you ever think of me?
My thoughts are so often of you I sometimes fear for my sanity.
How is little Aaron? I thought of him on his last birthday.
I must be crazed to be writing you, but I watch the mail each day, hoping for some word from you. If you could find it in your heart to write to me, a letter from you would be most welcome.
Take the greatest care of yourself. Someday when you least expect it, you will look up and I will be there.
Remember I love you,
Adam
"Jordan, what does the letter say? Is it bad news?"
"You have made a mistake, mother, the letter is for Honor. Something about apple trees," he said in a voice that sounded calm.
"Oh, well," Maggie told him, rising, "No doubt Honor will forgive the mistake. I will see to your lunch."
Jordan crushed the letter in his fists. His eyes were blazing dangerously. Honor had lied to him. He had believed her when she said that the Yankee had not made love to her. The man who had written this letter had been very intimate with his wife and was plainly in love with her.
He cursed all women. He could kill Adam O'Roarke with his bare hands. "Damn you, Honor," he yelled aloud. No wonder she had not wanted to move to Green Rivers. She did not want to be away from her lover. He paced up and down the floor, watching the clock on the mantel, waiting for his wife's return.
Jordan waited for two hours before Honor returned. When he heard the buggy in the driveway, he went out the front door. He grabbed Honor by the arm just as she stepped from the buggy. He pulled her into the house and up the stairs roughly. Opening his bedroom door, he hurled her into his room, and she landed on his bed. Throwing the letter down beside her, he glared at Honor.
"Tell me the meaning of this letter," he demanded.
Honor had never seen him so angry. Meagan appeared in the open doorway. "Jordan, what are you doing to my sister?" she asked.
Pushing her from the room, he bolted the door.
"Well, Honor, I am waiting."
She picked up the crumpled letter, smoothing it out, and began to read. Tears came to her eyes as she read the tender words Adam had written her. When she finished the letter, she looked into Jordan's angry face.
"I will hear no more lies, Honor. What happened between you and the man, Adam O'Roarke?"
"Nothing happened, Jordan, well—almost nothing," she corrected.
He shoved her down on the bed and pinned her body beneath his. "Here I have been adopting a hands-off policy where you were concerned, and I find you have obviously shared your favors with the enemy." His lips came down on hers with bruising force. Honor was too frightened to protest. She felt her gown rip and Jordan's hands moved over her naked flesh. "I will make you pay, Honor," he said as he grabbed a handful of her hair and brought her face up to his. "God, how you will pay." His lips covered hers, and she tasted her own blood as he ground her teeth beneath his lips.
Honor had never felt such fear. She trembled beneath him. When he stood up she felt relief until she saw him unbuckle his belt. She wondered if he intended to strike her with his belt.
"You have asked for this, Honor. Do not look at me with those innocent eyes, damn you." He removed his britches and tore his shirt from his body, tossing it on the floor.
Honor was unable to move as he stood over her like an avenging angel, his face a mask of fury.
"Remove your gown, Honor," he told her between clenched teeth. "Or rather, what's left of it."
She shook her head.
"Very well, I will remove it for you." He knelt over her, and with one sharp tug, ripped her gown all the way to the bottom. He then began disposing of her undergarments until she lay completely naked beneath him.
Honor closed her eyes, feeling shame and fear.
"My God, you are beautiful," he said hoarsely, as his hands moved over her body. "Did the Yankee find you irresistible, as I do?" he demanded.
"Jordan, do not do this," she pleaded. Somewhere deep inside her she cried out to Adam to save her.
"Tell me what he did to you, Honor, so I may repeat it. You seem to prefer his lovemaking to mine."
"He did not do anything more than kiss me, Jordan," she cried.
"Liar! Once a man has tasted your lips, he would not stop until he had all of you. Don't I know it!"
His hands were rough on her tender skin. Honor was crying hysterically.
"Do not touch me. I hate you. Do not hurt me again." She was trying to throw him off, thinking she could not endure a repeat of her wedding night.
"Mommy, mommy, what is wrong?" Aaron's little voice sounded from beyond the bedroom door. He was pounding on the door and crying out for her.
Jordan froze, and looked at Honor through passion-filled eyes.
"Mommy! Mommy!" Aaron cried.
Jordan stood up slowly, brought back to his senses by the voice of his small son. Honor tried to cover her nakedness by crossing her arms over her breasts.
As Jordan's passion cooled and his anger was all but gone, he saw the bruises he had left on Honor's delicate skin. He handed Honor his shirt, and watched as she covered herself with it.
"Mommy, why don't you answer me?" Aaron cried.
Honor jumped from the bed, and ran to the door. She could not let him see her in this condition. "Aaron, Mommy is fine," she called through the door, "I am just talking to Daddy."
Honor heard Meagan's voice from the other side of the door.
"Come along with Aunt Meagan. Mommy and Daddy will be down shortly." Honor heard her sister's laughter as she led Aaron away.
When she turned to Jordan he had slipped into his britches. His eyes were blank as he stared at her.
"I will never forgive you for this, Jordan."
"Add it to all the other grievances you have against me, Honor. You could not think any less of me than I do of myself at the moment."
"You are always sorry after the fact, Jordan. The other time you were drunk; this time you were angry. What will it be the next time?"
He waved her aside. "Tell me about the Yankee, Honor."
Honor picked up her gown and surveyed the damage. "I do not wish to discuss it with you."
He gripped her shoulder. "You will discuss it with me, nonetheless. Tell me, Honor." His voice seemed to be pleading with her.
"Adam told me he loved me, Jordan. I told him there was nothing for us, and that I was your wife."
"From the tone of his letter he did not sound like a man without hope. Did you tell him you loved him?"
"No, I never said that I loved him."
"I will kill the man if he ever tries to see you," Jordan vowed.
"He will not come here."
"Are you telling me that the man stayed under the same roof with you and did not make love to you?"
She turned to him. "I do not want any man to touch me in the way you did. No man will ever touch me again."
"It seems that I have once again gained your contempt, Honor. I do not know what it is about you that brings out the worst in me when all I really want to do is love you. I swear to you I have never treated a woman as violently as I have you."
"Is that meant to be a comfort to me, Jordan?"
"Damn! I did not mean it the way it came out, Honor."
"You were merely reminding me that when you made love to other women you were more tender than with me. How fortunate for the other women in your life, Jordan." She swung the door open and strode into the hallway, mindless of her undressed condition. Her body felt battered and bruised, but she felt she had had the last word.
* * *
Adam opened the letter postmarked Virginia. Inside he found his crumpled letter, accompanied by another letter, which he read:
Mr. Adam O'Roarke:
I am returning the letter you sent to my wife. You are fortunate that you did not come in person, for had you done so, I would not be responsible for the consequences. Do not attempt to write to my wife again nor to communicate with her in any fashion in the future.
Jordan Daniels
Adam reread the letter. He had been a fool to write to Honor. He should have guessed her husband might be home by now. He wondered if Honor had been made to suffer over his foolishness.
"Adam, what are you doing sitting here in the dark?" his sister, Suzanne, asked, lighting a lamp and bathing the room in soft light.
"I did not realize it had grown dark," he told her.
His twin sister sat on the arm of his chair and put her arm around his broad shoulder. "The guests have all gone home. They were wondering what had become of you."
Adam studied his twin sister's face. She was married to a banker and lived in Boston with her two children. Suzanne was the only family Adam had, since their parents were both dead. He adored his vivacious sister and his niece and nephew.
Adam had a law practice in Boston, but he much preferred to be here in the country on the farm left to him by his mother. Adam was a wealthy man, and his home reflected his wealth. The furnishings were definitely expensive, and in impeccable taste. There were plush carpets on the floors, and many paintings by famous artists graced the walls.
Suzanne took his hand in hers. "You are thinking of her again, are you not, Adam?"
"Yes," he told her, not bothering to deny he was thinking of Honor since his sister knew him so well.
"I had thought when you returned from the war that you and Vanessa would be married. She cares for you a great deal, you know."
"I am not interested in Vanessa," Adam said bitterly.
"Is she very beautiful, Adam? You have not told me very much about her."
"Who?" Adam asked, knowing very well of whom she spoke.
"This woman who has you all tied up in knots."
His blue eyes seemed to smolder. "Yes, she is very lovely."
"I say if you love her so much you should go and get her and marry her and bring her home with you."
"It is not that simple, Suzanne. The lady already has a husband and a small boy."
"Adam, what can you be thinking of? A married woman!"
So Adam told his twin all about Honor, omitting nothing. When he finished there were tears in Suzanne's eyes.
"Oh, Adam, I fear the story will not have a happy ending for you. She probably would never leave her husband. Besides, she has not said she loves you."
"I keep telling myself the same thing, but I cannot forget her. There is something I must do now. I must make a trip to Virginia. I fear that because of me she may be in trouble at the moment."
"Why, what have you done?"
"I wrote Honor a letter, a love letter if you will. It was returned to me today by her husband. I fear he may have made Honor pay for my foolishness."
"Adam, this does not sound like you. I always knew you would have a lot of love to give to some lucky woman. You would make a very good husband, but this Honor already has a husband."
"Lord, do I not know it. And I will tell you something else, I do not even know how Honor feels about me, she has never said she loves me, though I do not think she loves her husband."
"What are you going to do?"
"As I said, I am going to Virginia the quickest way possible. I pray Honor has not suffered because of me."
Suzanne did not try to dissuade him. "When will you leave, Adam?"
"As soon as possible. I did not tell you that when she was forced to sell her plantation, I was the one who purchased it. Unknown to her, I had a man looking after her. When her home came up for sale, he purchased it on my behalf."
Suzanne kissed her brother's brow. "Adam, I fear this will all end in heartbreak for you."
"Most probably you are right, but I must go to her all the same, in case she needs me."
She smiled impishly. "It is difficult for me to picture you in love, Adam. You have left a trail of broken hearts across the whole state of Massachusetts."
"Maybe this trip will help me get Honor out of my system."
Suzanne stood up suddenly. "Take me with you, Adam. I have always wanted to see the South."
"What about Brad and the children?"
"The children will go with us, and it will do no harm for Brad to be without me for a short time. Maybe he will appreciate me more when I return," she said, smiling.
"He already appreciates you, and who wouldn't, my beautiful sister."
"As I look like you, I will return the compliment."
Adam's eyes took on a faraway look. "You will like Honor, Suzanne."
"She must be special for you to love her so much."
"Strange, wouldn't you say? I finally give my heart, and it is to a woman who has not even said she loves me in return."
13
The weeks passed as spring turned into summer, and a warm breeze moved over the Shenandoah Valley.
Jordan kept himself busy, spending as much time away from the house as he could manage. Meagan still remained with them, not bothering to find a place of her own.
The times when everyone was together were tension-filled. There were strong undercurrents making these times unbearable for everyone. Meagan never missed a chance to torture Honor with her little innuendos, and she continued to pursue Jordan openly.
Jordan and his son were becoming close. Little Aaron liked to tag after his father, and Jordan welcomed his son's devotion. Jordan's eyes would often follow his wife, but he made no further attempt to approach her on a personal level after the quarrel they had had in his bedroom.
Maggie watched and waited, knowing things could not continue as they were for much longer.
It was the last week in June; the day was hot and humid. Jordan was home early for a change. Finishing his paperwork, he opened the study doors and walked jut into the garden for a breath of fresh air. He had been pushing himself hard, and he felt weary.
He noticed Honor working in the flower garden, and as he approached her, she held a bunch of white roses out to him for inspection.
"The first blooms of summer," she said as he took the roses from her. "I want to fill the house with the fragrance of roses, Jordan. They are my favorite flowers."
Honor wore a pale green gown, and although it was faded from many washings, Jordan thought she looked lovely.
"I believe the rose to be one of God's greatest creations, Jordan. See how perfectly the petals are shaped, and they are so soft and velvety."
"Yet even the rose pales beside your beauty, Honor."
She looked up at him. "You flatter me, Jordan."
He touched her cheek softly. "Not so, Honor. I merely spoke the truth." He slipped his arms around her. "Shall we try again, Honor?" he said in a deep voice. His lips were near hers, and she knew he was going to kiss her. "I love you, little one."
The sound of the old endearment caused Honor to" allow him to kiss her. His lips covered hers softly, and for a moment she felt the pull of the Jordan of old. When he released her, they stood staring at each other.
"You are my wife, honey, and I need you." He laid his cheek against her soft skin. "I have loved you for a long time now. Please believe me. I do not know when I first began to love you. Maybe it has been there for a very long time. I only know my life means nothing if you do not share it with me. Please let me love you. I promise I will not frighten you. I will be so tender with you."
Rebel Temptress (Historical Romance) Page 17