A Kindled Winter

by Rachel L. Demeter

  His erratic breaths swelled the room and tugged at her heartstrings. She gripped onto the Spider-Man comforter, overwhelmed with the urge to race over to him and kiss the grief from his mind and body. Instead, she cleared her throat, scooted over several inches, and mutely peeled the cover aside.

  A gust of wind howled in the distance and vibrated the cottage’s walls. Then the rhythmic sound of his footsteps swelled the room as he strode forward with confident, decisive steps.

  Anticipation and warmth swept through Jeseca. Lying in back of her, David aligned their bodies so they were arranged in a tender spooning position. His breaths misted against her nape in an airy, transient tease. Her spine tingled at the sensation and grew impossibly stiff. Sighing, her heartbeat thundered while strong, solid arms encased her body. Her emotions soared, and she knew, without a doubt, that leaving this man would be one of the hardest things she’d ever done.

  Then his breath was in her ear, irregular, broken, hot. Gently she trailed fingertips over his burned arms, silently relieving his anguish in the one way she knew how.

  With each touch, his breathing gradually drew regular and deep. One of his trembling hands raked over the side of her body and swept through her hair. Her eyes fell shut in acute pleasure as he ran delicate fingertips through her curls. His unique scent infused her senses and lifted her spirit into a safe, untouchable place. Her heart skipped several beats as the realization slammed against her consciousness.

  She felt safe, content, and complete.

  And she couldn’t bear losing him. It would surely break her.

  “David? Please come with me. I … I don’t want to say goodbye. I can’t.” Then, in a torn whisper that was spoken into her pillow, “You belong with me …”

  •

  Jeseca’s mind and body grew numb as she eased inside Aubrey’s darkened bedroom. She’d arrived at her mom’s house hours earlier. As she’d expected, her cousins and extended family members had already left, sentencing the home to an eerie, contemplative calm.

  Holding her breath, Jeseca fumbled with the light switch and flipped it on. Her insides twisted. Her heart settled into a dull ache. She exhaled a long breath and counted backward from five before crossing the threshold.

  Five. Four.

  The room was exactly as she remembered it to be. Bright and cheerful, the towering bookshelves overflowed with recital awards, photographs, slender perfume bottles, and racy romance novels.

  Three. Two.

  The intense crush of memories threatened to overwhelm her. She pressed her palm against the middle of her chest and massaged the inner ache. Tears filled her eyes as she scanned the picture frames one by one. Her sister’s laughter echoed her mind and swelled her heart. She was gone—and only the ghostly laments remained.

  One.

  “Jes? Honey?”

  Jeseca rotated toward her mom’s voice and hastily wiped away her tears. Rebecca stood behind her and placed a delicate hand on Jeseca’s forearm. Craning her neck back, Jeseca smiled at her mom’s red curls and sea green gaze. In spite of her resounding beauty, Rebecca wore her years poorly—and the lines that burdened her brow suggested she’d endured more hardships than most.

  It was no great wonder.

  Resting her chin on Jeseca’s shoulder, she sighed and gestured toward the propped photograph with a shaky wave. It’d been taken moments after one of Aubrey’s singing recitals. Her sister’s cheeks were rosy with passion, those green eyes brilliantly ablaze. She looked fierce, brilliant, teeming with life.

  “That first week, after she was gone, I don’t think I left this room for over six days. I blamed myself. I didn’t eat. Couldn’t sleep. Could barely breathe. Do you remember that, honey?”

  Jeseca silently nodded, her chest a tangle of emotions. Like David, Jeseca had sealed herself within a protective prison and shut out the world for so many years. She just never realized the depth of her isolation until now. For years, she’d avoided confronting her sister’s passing—yet the memories had always found her within nightmares.

  No matter how hard she’d tried, she could never outrun reality.

  “And I’ve never stepped foot in here,” Jeseca choked out. “Not once.” Rebecca collected Jeseca’s hand and gave her fingers a tender, reassuring squeeze. Her thoughts momentarily whirled back to David—and she reflected on the feel of his hand in hers, the fortifying strength of his touch, the soothing lull of his voice, the healing power in his fingers.

  Hands and hearts …

  “What changed?” Rebecca asked, brushing aside Jeseca’s curls with her free hand. They locked gazes, each feeling the other’s pain and despair. “Do you know, honey?”

  Jeseca nodded as the realization slammed against her consciousness. She inhaled a calming breath, searching for a much needed inner strength. “I met David. And now … now I’ve lost him.”

  Rebecca surrendered to a small smile and released a shallow breath. “Well, from what you’ve told me, it sounds like he was quite lost himself.”

  Jeseca wandered over to her sister’s desk, pulled out the chair, and sat down. She reached forward and took hold of one of the frames.

  Then she shut both eyes before daring to continue. “I saw her, Mom. Right after my car crashed. At first I thought I had a concussion.” After a tense silence, she added, “Or that I was finally losing my mind. Either way, she was there. I saw her, Mom. I swear I did. I—” Tears pricked the corner of her eyes. She shook her head and traced an index finger over the frame’s glass, caressing her sister’s memory. “No. It was more than that. I felt her. Do you think … is it possible? And then days later … I heard her. Her humming woke me, just like when she was alive …”

  Rebecca laid her hand on Jeseca’s shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. Then she crouched beside her and locked onto her eyes.

  “Yes, I know it’s possible. And as hard as it is to imagine, I believe there’s a reason for everything. It may defy logic and reason, and it may not come to us right away … but the truth reveals itself in time.”

  Jeseca mutely nodded and swatted away her tears. Then she exhaled a long breath and leaned against her mom’s shoulder. Her eyes fell shut as David’s image surfaced within her mind again.

  “I missed you, Mommy. God. It feels so good to be home.” Rebecca swiped away Jeseca’s curls and pressed a tender kiss to her hairline. “David is such a good man. Sensitive, sincere, compassionate, intelligent …” Jeseca felt a small, sly grin crawl across her lips. Cocking a brow, she craned her neck back and locked onto her mom’s gaze. “Handsome. Mysterious. You would have loved him. Aubrey, too. I just know it.”

  “And how about you?” came Rebeca’s tentative whisper. “Do you love him?”

  Sighing, Jeseca stared forward and allowed the silence to speak volumes. Then, meeting her mom’s gaze again, she said, “I know you did everything you could. Aubrey’s death wasn’t your fault.”

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  David stood in the heart of Charlie’s bedroom, silent and contemplative. It was well past midnight, Jeseca had departed in the early afternoon, and a deep ache consumed his chest. Her unique, lemony aroma still hung in the air, her touches still seared his skin, and her warmth still lingered within his sheets.

  And yet the world never felt colder nor more empty.

  Inhaling, he sank onto the mattress and massaged the center of his chest. Then he tracked forward and smoothed his palm over the Spider-Man comforter.

  David had always found solace within his self-imposed solitude. But now, after being with Jeseca this past week and a half, their separation eclipsed his mind and body beneath an impenetrable shadow. She had changed him. Irrevocably. Jeseca Reed had shown him a second chance at life and possibly love. And now, apart from her, his world had been drained of all remaining happiness.

  Brody leapt onto the mattress and pushed close to his body. Butt wagging a hundred miles per hour, he wandered over to the end table and searched the premises for any scraps of
food.

  David’s eyes narrowed as a small slip of paper ensnared his attention. It was positioned in the middle of the end table—and Dearest David was written across the top in Jeseca’s feminine hand.

  David’s heart kicked into high gear. Barely thinking, he nudged Brody aside and snagged the paper from the end table. He held it up to the window, his hands trembling, and allowed shafts of moonlight to illuminate the cursive writing.

  Dearest David,

  “There is a Christmas song upon the air.

  There is a joy innate within the heart;

  An inner sense of peace, a holy light

  Illumines life and sets these days apart.”

  —Edna Greene Hines

  I’ve always loved that poem—but it wasn’t until I met you that I experienced its power.

  Whether you come to me this winter or the next, I will be waiting. Always.

  6073 E. Silvershard Lane Blue River, Oregon 97413

  Eternally yours,

  Jeseca

  And in an intense flurry, all of the errant puzzle pieces came together. David knew exactly what had to be done—and he crossed a final item off his checklist: he and Jeseca could create a future together.

  •

  Jeseca lay awake in her sister’s bed the next evening, observing as snow cascaded beyond the frosted windowpane. Stars decorated the night sky in artful clusters and set the world brilliantly aglow.

  Sighing, she glanced away from the drifting snowflakes and surveyed Aubrey’s room. Every detail was delicate and light … reminiscent of her sister’s tender spirit. Wicker furniture, pale hues, and transparent silk drapes. A breeze stirred, causing the material to flutter like a white flag.

  But Jeseca wouldn’t surrender her tears. She held them back and smoothed her fingertips over the pillow’s intricate lace ruffles. Inhaling the frosty night air, she allowed the vast crush of memories to sink inside her soul.

  With David, the emptiness had begun to dissipate. They shared a kindred spirit—and through their mutual grief and compassion, they’d discovered a fragile peace.

  We should have stayed in that spring. Forever …

  Jeseca smashed the pillow against her face and inhaled the aroma. The tears finally came, hard and unyielding. They streaked down her cheeks and drenched the delicate fabric.

  “Am I crazy, Aubrey?” she whisper into the damp material. “I knew him for barely more than a week. And yet, a part of me feels like I’d found something I’d been searching for all along. I just wish—”

  “Jeseca? Someone’s here to see you.”

  Rotating toward her mom’s voice, Jeseca lowered the pillow and fumbled into an upright position.

  Her breaths instantly vacated her lungs and her heart skipped several beats. David stood in front of Rebecca, his dark form swelling the archway. His blue eyes flickered with reciprocated emotion—and Jeseca’s chest violently lurched into high gear. She tried to form a coherent sentence—but her throat constricted and strangled all the words.

  Her mom surrendered to a small, knowing grin and patted one of David’s massive shoulders. “Well. I’ll leave you two alone, hm?”

  “Thank you again, Rebecca.” David murmured, his voice a decadently rich rumble.

  Impenetrable silence stretched between them.

  Jeseca smoothed down her wayward curls and cleared her throat. Every nerve ending caught fire as David paced forward. Jeseca held her breath and whispered a silent prayer. His long, lean legs allowed him to reach her sister’s bed in four great strides. Then he lowered onto his knees, a foot away from the mattress, and exhaled a choked breath. Butterflies fluttered in her tummy, tickling her insides with their wings.

  “God, you’re so beautiful.” Eyes never parting from her own, he reached forward and gently grazed Jeseca’s cheek with his scarred knuckles. Hot and clammy, his hand trembled against her skin, betraying his outward composure. He was suffering from the same emotional turmoil as she was. She saw it in every line of his face, felt it in his touch, saw it shimmering in his eyes.

  “Jeseca …” he breathed. The warm baritone vibrated through her body and resonated deep within. She leaned into the tentative touch while ripples of pleasure cascaded through her body like fine wine. Then David’s handsome features shattered into a shy, boyish smile. Both hands shook as they seized hold of her own. “Damn. Just give me a moment. I—”

  “Are you okay?”

  He shook his head, tears shimmering in those penetrating blue eyes. “No. I’m not okay. I’m much better than okay. With you, I’m perfect.”

  Jeseca swallowed and glanced down at their united hands. She ran her thumb pad over David’s ragged skin, cherishing the simple feel of their entwined fingers. Her heart raced as she awaited whatever he’d come to say. And something warned her that her entire life was about to change.

  She felt it in the very air.

  “I love you, Jeseca Reed. It’s crazy talk. I know it is. We met a little over a week and a half ago … and what I feel for you defies logic. Hell, it defies everything I used to believe in and hold true. After years of being lost, it took only two weeks to find myself again. All because of you.”

  A fierce storm of emotions thundered inside Jeseca’s chest and threatened to overwhelm her. He tightened his clutch on her hands and brought them against the middle of his chest. It was if he was making a present of his heart.

  And she readily accepted it.

  “Now I want to know everything about you. I want laughter again. I want happiness, joy, and love. But most of all … I want you, Jeseca Reed.”

  Hands and hearts.

  EPILOGUE

  “Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.” —Calvin Coolidge

  The following Christmas

  The picture might have been stolen straight from the pages of a storybook. The pale Christmas tree lights twinkled like so many stars, illuminating the room with a soft, golden glow. Seasonal melodies oozed from the speakers and infused the house with a joyful warmth.

  Beyond the frosted windowpane, flurries of snow swirled from the sky and decked the world in a lush white blanket. Jeseca and David sat beside the tree’s base, champagne glasses in hand, Brody sandwiched in between their bodies. Bundled in matching slippers, cashmere robes, and content grins, they, too, resembled something out of a storybook.

  The fireplace crackled and crooned, imbuing the home with a romantic ambiance and sensual heat. A shiver raced down Jeseca’s spine as David locked onto her gaze. An entire conversation seemed to pass between them, as palpable as they very air they shared. And something intensely intimate radiated from those ice blue depths. Something wildly intriguing.

  Her heart skipped several beats while her pulse kicked into high gear. Is he planning an elaborate surprise? she wondered. Indeed, this past year had been full of surprises.

  David had been full of surprises. He’d moved to Los Angeles with her in mid-April, and had joined the renowned Keck Medical Center of USC, Division of Cardiothoracic Surgery, where he relished mentoring young cardiovascular doctors in residency. With each passing day, his spirit resurrected before her very eyes; he was no longer the withdrawn, insecure man she’d met a year before. Oh, no. He’d regained his confidence, his passion and a hunger for life—and, along with it, his true spirit had fully emerged.

  She, too, hadn’t ever felt happier or more fulfilled. Between her wonderfully chaotic work schedule, romantic evenings with David, and the acceptance of her sister’s fate, the crazed pieces of her life had at last gelled together.

  David leaned forward, that glint in his eyes ever-growing. He parted Jeseca’s mouth with his tongue, filling her with red-hot heat, and claimed her lips in a slow kiss. The front of his robe fell upon, allowing her to steal a glance of his muscular chest. Ripples of pleasure soared through her mind and body in a violent torrent. She groaned low in her throat and
returned the kiss with equal fervor.

  He tasted of fine champagne and smelled of exotic spices from faraway lands … lands she hoped to visit with him one day. His free hand snaked around her neck, strong and sure. Long, delicate fingers wove in and out of her curls before tracking down her spine in a mesmerizing, featherlight caress.

  Jeseca blinked away impending tears, overwhelmed with emotion and love. David pulled out of their kiss as his voice lowered to a gentle, husky whisper. The soothing lull of his words swelled her body with promising warmth. She loved the sultry rumble of his voice. It was a voice so strong, so steady and arousing … it could send her to climax without any help from his hands or mouth.

  He caressed either side of her face, drawing invisible shapes along her cheeks with twiddling thumb pads. “Am I really such a terrible kisser?” he teased, his eyes flickering with equal parts concern and desire.

  Jeseca shook her head and bit back a choked laugh. “It was a year ago that we met. Sometimes I wonder what would’ve happened if I never showed up at your house. I was lost without you, David. I—”

  “Me too. I wonder that every single day. Sometimes when you walk into a room, I can hardly believe you’re real.”

  Staring at the twinkling Christmas ornaments, Jeseca smiled and took a sip of champagne. It warmed her belly and caused her thoughts to grow a bit fuzzy. “I think we still would have found each other. I really do. Somehow, someway, we would’ve ended up together.”

  David allowed the silence to speak, his blue eyes twinkling with mischief. Then he leaned forward, pushed away Jeseca’s errant curls, and gently caught her earlobe between his teeth.