He may not be doing it on purpose, but that simply proved that he just wasn’t that into her. This time around, she needed to face that. She wasn’t going to go down the same path she had in high school. She wasn’t going to secretly pine after him. She needed to nip this in the bud. She was a twice-divorced woman that had not only been around the block, she’d bought a house and lived there for five years.
As tempting as it was to romanticize the things that Nate had said, she was going to take a page out of the Oprah and Maya Angelou cliff notes for life and believe Nate and believe him when he tells her who he is. He may think she’s wonderful and deserves all the things he’d said, but that was not because he wanted to be that man. He’d had plenty of chances to fill that role and had never shown any interest. He cared about her, but as a friend. Because she was the Chuckie to his Will Hunting. She needed to remember that.
Exhausted and emotionally drained, Eliza’s arms shook as she pushed herself up in order to gather her things so she could make the trek home where there was a bottle of wine and a hot bath calling her name when she heard a knock at the door.
She jumped and Farmer, who had fallen asleep with his head cradled in her lap, let out a low bark. He wasn’t really a barker, so the sound or her reaction to it must’ve startled him.
“One second,” she called out as she rushed to the small mirror that hung above a large rectangular empty fish tank, that getting rid of was #286 to deal with on her action task spreadsheet.
When she saw the reflection staring back at her she tried to wipe off of her face all proof that any waterworks had occurred. She sniffed as she smoothed down a few strands of hair that had made a prison break from the ponytail they were locked up in. A quick scan and she concluded that her eyes and nose were a little red and puffy, but not crying your eyes out red and puffy, more like just woke up and cold red and puffy.
She could work with that.
Another knock sounded and she knew that she was going to have to face whoever was on the other side of the door, sooner rather than later. As she crossed the room again her hands frantically fanned her face, as if a few seconds of air cooling them would make that much of a difference.
She turned the knob just as another knock began. Her voice was pleasant as it swung open. “Sorry about that I was…”
Her words trailed off when, for a split second, she saw Nate standing in the hallway. At least, her mind had thought it was Nate. Her body had no tingles or jingles happening between her legs, so apparently it wasn’t him.
“Wow. You look…” Neil began, his eyes running the length of her body and back up again. “Amazing. You look amazing.” He pulled her into his arms.
She waited to feel something. Guilt for the last night they’d seen each other and her disappearance act afterwards. Familiarity of being in her high school boyfriend’s arms again. Awkwardness at the situation. Anything.
But she didn’t. She felt numb.
“Hey, Neil. Good to see you.” She patted his back as she eased herself out of his embrace.
He released her after brushing his hands over her hips and squeezing lightly. He’d had the same move when they were teenagers. She’d never particularly liked it then and she wasn’t a huge fan of it now.
“I can’t believe you’re really back,” he said as he continued his head-to-toe appraisal.
“Yep. I’m back.” If it were anyone else looking at her like that, except Nate, she would have felt uncomfortable. Maybe even violated. But this was Neil and although she wasn’t enjoying his perusal, it wasn’t offensive.
“Whoa, do you know there’s a dog in your office?” he asked as he pushed past her and stepped inside uninvited.
She held her hand out like a Price Is Right model displaying a showcase. “Come on in.”
“Thanks!” he responded cheerily, not picking up on her sarcasm as he bent down to pet Farmer’s head before standing again and pointing at the large empty glass aquarium. “What happened to your fish? Did the dog eat them?”
She chuckled, but when he turned and she saw his face she realized that he was serious. Wow. When they were younger she’d honestly believed that he played the role of the dumb jock because he’d been insecure living in the shadow of Nate’s gifted intelligence. Now, she was starting to think it wasn’t an act.
“Uh, no. Farmer didn’t eat the fish. It was like that when we got here.”
“Farmer? Like ‘Farmer in the Dell’?” Neil laughed and bent down and began singing the song to a very unimpressed canine audience.
She didn’t remember Neil being this annoying back in the day. As she looked at him it boggled her mind that she’d spent three years with this man. Willingly.
“I was actually just headed out for the day, but it was really great seeing you.” She was crossing her fingers hoping that he would pick up that she wanted him to leave, but since subtlety wasn’t his strong suit, she wasn’t holding her breath.
“Oh, right.” He stood, and for a glorious moment she thought that he’d picked up on her not-so-thinly veiled message. When he stayed in place her hope deflated like a balloon in a field of cacti.
Putting his hands in his pockets he rocked back slightly on his heels and his eyes didn’t meet hers. It’d been a long time since she’d felt qualified to claim to know Neil well, but she could see that he was clearly nervous about something and a pit formed in her stomach. She silently pleaded that he not bring up the memory of her birthday and the fact that she’d called out his brother’s name when she’d reached her peak and then vamoosed out of town without so much as a goodbye.
Obviously he deserved an apology. She understood that. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t rather get a root canal from a first year dental student than have this conversation.
He looked down at the ground, still not moving. “I came by to ask you something.”
She braced herself for what that question might be. There were a lot of things he could ask her about the last time they’d seen each other.
In her head, this was how the conversation was going to play out:
He’d ask, “Why did you sneak into my room after our fight, you said you wanted to go to bed early?”
She’d explain it was because she’d been freaked out about going to college and losing her virginity to a frat boy.
He’d ask, “Why did you wake me up naked and on top of me?”
She’d remind him that he’d always said “waking up with a girl naked on top of me would be the hottest thing ever.” Also, that she just didn’t want to lose her nerve.
Then when he asked the big one, the one she’d been scared to face, “Why did you call out my brother’s name?”
She would finally admit that she was in love with Nate.
See. She had answers. She just wasn’t sure he’d want to hear them.
Neil cleared his throat and she straightened her back, ready to face her past and take responsibility for what she’d done. “So this Friday is the spring fundraiser at the country club and I was wondering, since you’re back in town, if you’d want to go with me.”
Eliza blinked several times as her brain tried to catch up to the conversation.
“You know, for old times’ sake.” He grinned and shrugged his left shoulder as he looked at her with bigger puppy dog eyes than Farmer had ever given her.
Over time so much about her relationship with Neil had faded. But some things were coming back quite clearly now. He pulled out the puppy dog eyes whenever he wanted to get his way, like if he wanted pizza and she wanted burritos. Or if he wanted to see an action movie and she wanted to see a romantic comedy. For some reason at the time, it had been kind of cute to her, now it just kind of seemed weird.
“Um, actually…” She walked over to the pile of paperwork that she’d gone through today from Dr. Lewis and lifted the correspondence on the top as proof. “I just found out today that Dr. Lewis sponsored a table for the entire office but he’s not feeling up to attending. He asked if
I would escort Mrs. Lewis in his absence and I agreed. So, I already have a date.”
When she’d first seen the table confirmation and read Dr. Lewis’ handwritten note asking her to take his place she’d wanted to refuse. Nate would be there with Bailey and spending a night watching the two of them together…not her idea of a good time. But, she’d done the right thing and called Dr. Lewis to let him know she’d be honored. Now, she was happy she had because it made her rejection less awkward.
“Cool.” His smile grew wider and he added a wink. “It’s a date.” In several steps he crossed the distance of the room, heading towards the door.
She wasn’t sure if he’d misunderstood her and she wanted to make sure that they were in the same reality. “I’m going with Dr. Lewis’ wife and I’ll be at their table.”
Neil pivoted back, gave her a quick hug and kissed her on her forehead. “I know. And don’t worry, I love threesomes. I’ll see you Friday.”
And with that declaration he spun back around and left.
She felt like she was losing her mind so she looked at Farmer, who was wearing the same look of “Is this guy for real” as Eliza was sure she was wearing. “Surely, he’s not serious.”
He is serious, and don’t call me Shirley. She smiled at her internal voice’s Airplane reference.
But then the reality of the situation hit her and her amused grin fell. Whether or not he was serious didn’t change the fact that on Friday night she would be at the Masquerade Ball and so would Neil, Nate and Bailey.
So yeah, that was happening.
Chapter 8
Since Nate couldn’t stop thinking about Eliza he figured he might as well do something productive. When the Elite offices had relocated from their old building to the Riverwalk, they’d offered all of their small business neighbors their services. Dr. Lewis had declined because he was loyal to the company that he’d been with for decades.
Nate understood loyalty and respected Dr. Lewis’ decision. But that was then. Things were different now. Now, Eliza was going to be there alone, sometimes anyway. The system needed to be upgraded. Now.
This afternoon he’d called over to the office to speak to Eliza about his plan to upgrade the entire system, including motion sensor cameras and surveillance that she could easily access from her phone or personal computer. He could’ve just walked the two doors down and discussed it in person, but after this morning he didn’t trust himself with face-to-face contact. So he called. But she’d been with a patient. So he left a message with Jarmen who, as luck would have it, was in charge of upgrading all the office technology. She asked him to send over a breakdown and estimate so she could go over it.
He’d agreed and hung up knowing full well he had no intention of doing what she asked. Not the estimate portion anyway. He’d send her over what his plans were for the system but it wouldn’t cost them a penny. His payment would be peace of mind that Eliza was safe. Not that Harper’s Crossing was a hot bed for vandalism or crime of any sort, but this was Eliza. He wasn’t going to take any chances.
He finished the preliminary specs of the equipment, services and system and sent it to the email that Jarmen had given him, letting her know that he didn’t want reimbursement. It was a homecoming gift to Eliza.
After he pressed send, he opened the project he was actually supposed to be working on. Under normal circumstances he would be buttoning this assignment up and moving on to the next right now. After his team in Washington completed their end ahead of schedule yesterday, he’d had eight hours of work, tops, to complete it. He’d been at this desk almost twelve and was not even at the halfway point.
Today he’d just felt…off. He’d missed a call that he had scheduled at four, not because he’d been so engrossed in work, rather, he couldn’t work with the knowledge that Eliza was mere yards away from him.
This shit had to stop. He had to stop acting like a middle school kid with a crush.
With a renewed determination to push all thoughts of the girl that spun his world like a tornado, he shifted in his chair and tried his best to concentrate on the screen in front of him. That lasted for less than five minutes and he digressed back into a middle school kid with the crush.
The mind was a funny thing. He would give anything to go into “work mode” now. But apparently it was stuck in Eliza mode and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. Fighting it was pointless, so instead he surrendered to it in hopes that once he let the tide of memories and feelings wash over him they wouldn’t fight so hard to get to the surface.
Something happened this morning that made her being back even more real. Maybe it was because she looked different this morning, more like the girl he’d met freshman year. Today her hair was down, falling in soft waves around her face instead of pulled up in a ponytail. Instead of a blue scoop neck shirt that teased a hint of cleavage she wore a sleeveless purple blouse with a neckline that hit right at her collarbone. In high school she’d worn a lot of sleeveless shirts. And today she wore dark jeans that hugged her body in all the right places, which reminded him of several pairs of jeans that had made his own pants tight when she was walking in front of him down the hallway after class.
It wasn’t just her clothes and hair that had made this run-in more familiar. It was also that seeing her in the morning, cursing under her breath was déjà vu. He was right back in high school, getting to first period early so he wouldn’t miss even a second that he would spend with her that day. And just like this morning, a lot of those mornings had started with her cursing. Usually over a forgotten pencil, notebook paper, homework, lunch money or some other necessity for the day.
Once he’d realized the pattern, he’d always made sure that he’d had extra pencils, paper, money and even blank homework assignments that he would help her fill out before the bell rang. That was always his favorite part of the day. When she would take her seat beside him, scramble through her backpack, cursing under her breath about what she was trying to find and “knowing” that it should be there and he would hand her whatever the forgotten item was. She’d get this look on her face like he was her savior. Like he was her knight in shining armor. Like he was her hero. It hadn’t taken long for him to get addicted to the feeling that look gave him. He’d felt like he was the only person she saw. Like he was her entire world.
Then she’d started dating Neil.
The chair squeaked as he leaned back in it. Closing his eyes he exhaled as he scrubbed his hands over his face. Seeing Eliza with Neil had been like a knife in his heart and back at the same time. His heart because he loved her and his back because his brother knew it and went after her in spite of how Nate felt, or because of it, he still wasn’t sure.
Neil had always been competitive with Nate. Nate had never understood why because as identical as they looked they were total opposites in every other way. The identical portion of their DNA was all used up on their appearance. When it came to their personalities, interests, talents and temperaments they were as different as you could be. Nate was a morning person, Neil was a night owl. Nate excelled at academia, Neil was all-state in football and baseball. Nate was a homebody with only a few friends, Neil was voted Prom King and partied every weekend.
The brothers had nothing in common.
Except Eliza.
A knock sounded at his office door as it swung open. He looked up, expecting to see Darla, but instead he saw a mirror image of himself.
“Hey bro!” Neil lifted his hand to high five.
Just one more example of the way they contrasted. Nate never understood high fives, unless it was in a celebratory capacity. As a greeting it just didn’t make sense to him. But he slapped hands with his brother anyway. If he used himself as a barometer of what to do and not do in social situations, he’d be even more of an outcast than he already was. Or at least that he felt like he was.
“Nice office.” Neil walked around the room, picking various things up, turning them over and examining them and then setting the
m back down again. “I can’t believe you guys have been here a year and this is the first time I’ve been here.”
Nate, on the other hand, had no problem believing that he’d been here a year and his brother had never stopped by. He was, however, surprised Neil was here now.
“Did you need something?”
“No, I don’t need anything.” Neil sounded offended that Nate would even suggest such a thing.
In Nate’s defense, the only time he ever saw his brother was at family or social events. The last impromptu visit he’d received from Neil had been when his brother had taken a girl home who had passed out in his bathroom and he’d thought she’d died. He’d literally shown up at Nate’s apartment, so drunk he could barely stand, to ask his brother to help him “hide the body.”
Nate had gone to his house with no intention of being an accessory; his plan had been to call the police if anyone was actually dead. It turned out law enforcement was not needed. The girl was breathing and conscious. She was throwing up, confused and had a low body temperature, all signs of alcohol poisoning so he’d taken her to the hospital.
That’s where he’d met Bailey. She’d been called down to the emergency room for a child that was having chest pain. He’d thought she was attractive, but had no plans on pursuing anything, especially since she’d been working. But, she’d made the first move and asked him out. That was two years ago.
“I was just in the neighborhood and I wanted to stop by and see my little brother.” Neil slapped Nate on the shoulder and squeezed it before dropping his arm and taking a deep breath. “Want to know why I was in the neighborhood?”
No.
Nate didn’t answer but that didn’t stop Neil from telling him anyway. A large smile spread on his brother’s face. “I stopped by to see my girl.”
Anger that he had no right feeling surged through him. He’d always hated when Neil referred to her like that. Even though she had been his girlfriend.
All He Desires – Nate & Eliza (Crossroads Book 12) Page 7