In His Time (Carried Through Chaos Book 2)

by Stefanie Bridges-Mikota

  With the beauty of nature and the warm welcoming people around her, Allie still felt as though she was missing something. She knew just what that something was, but saying it out loud was still difficult.

  She and Frank had climbed into bed for the night when she tried talking about it.

  “Hon?”

  “Hmmm yes.” Frank replied, rolling over to face her.

  “Uh, are you happy?” That wasn’t exactly what she wanted to ask him, but maybe they could work up to it in this conversation.

  “I’m very happy. Are you?” He propped his head up on his elbow.

  “Yes, of course. Everything is nice here, but are you complete?” She sat up, really not sure how to say what she was thinking.

  Frank sat up and scooted next to her. “I have you and that’s all I need.”

  “Really? You don’t want anything more?” She looked up at him.

  “Of course, I would love to have a family, but if that doesn’t happen, I’m great with just us.” He put his arm around her.

  “Frank it’s been a while. We’ve been married for six months. Of course a little over a month we were apart, but… well, I never did talk to you about what Doc Leman said.” She didn’t want to because saying it out loud would mean it was real. She didn’t want it to be real.

  “Allie, I’m a doctor. And you know I found your file by accident when I was working for Doc.”

  “I know, but I don’t know what you know.” She shifted to face him.

  “Ok, why don’t you tell me in your words then, so I know what you need me to know.”

  Allie crawled out of bed and started pacing, her bare feet shuffling on the cold floor. She didn’t want to talk about it, but knew it was time.

  “So, Eddie thought I was doing something to prevent getting pregnant. He became angry. You know what happened when he was upset. What both of us didn’t know, however, was that I was at that moment with child.”

  Frank stood, walked to her and embraced her softly stopping her from pacing.

  “I know you know this, but I need to tell it straight through,” Allie shrugged from his arms.

  He looked in her eyes and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

  “Ok, but you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

  Allie closed her eyes and turned away, wiping tears as she talked.

  “He killed our child. My body rejected it, but couldn’t complete that. Doc Leman put me to sleep and did something, I don’t even know what, you would probably know more than me where that’s concerned. He said my body failed to remove everything and he had to help it. When I woke he told me that…” She caught a sob in her throat and cleared it to continue. “That I might not be able to carry any other children.” She sat at the foot of the bed and wept into her hands.

  Frank sat behind her and wrapped her up gently rocking her side to side.

  “It’s ok. I know, sweetheart. If we are supposed to have a family, God will provide. I know He will.”

  “How can you be so sure?” She questioned through sobs.

  “He found a way to bring us together, right?” Allie nodded. “He never left your side through all of last year. So why would He leave you now?”

  “I don’t know. I just feel so broken,” she confessed, working to regulate her breathing again. “I’m sorry. If I can’t give you any children, I want you to know I’m sorry.”

  Frank stood up and picked her up. He carried her to the bed and laid her down. Then he crawled in and laid next to her.

  “Don’t be sorry. I know we will have a family, if it’s in His plan. Things will work out. Just you wait and see.”

  They laid like that until she fell asleep. Allie wanted to believe him but wanting and doing were separate matters all together.

  Frank had been wanting to know what had been on her mind. He knew she wasn’t quite herself, but until she spoke, he couldn’t have guessed what it was about. Of course he wanted children. He loved kids. She needed him to be strong. He would be happy with whatever future lay ahead. Or at least he would never let on otherwise. In truth he, too, would have to work on being content with the possibility of not having children. He would not let her see any struggles. She needed a rock and a rock he would be.

  CHAPTER 10

  Allie found herself sitting in a giant circle with women of all ages working on a large block quilt. The center block was larger than the rest and it had fancy flower designs in it. The flowers were in shades of pink and yellows. The rest of the blocks were green. Some had little leaves embroidered on them and others were plain. The blocks were first attached making long strips. The strips then were stitched together, making the full quilt. Once this portion was finished they would start on the backing. This would be a square block tied quilt when finished. They were working hard to finish it in time as a gift for an upcoming church wedding.

  To Allie’s right was Belle. She had spent a little more time with her over the last couple of weeks and they were becoming good friends. Belle was as old as her ma. She was a sweet soul with grit. Both she and Bill came from good people. Allie was glad to have found someone she could open up to, eventually.

  On her left was Mrs. Wiley, the matriarchal head of the group. The Wiley family ran the town as they were the original settlers to the area. It was a blessing to all that they were a good, honest, hard-working family.

  The other women were various members of church. Emma sat on the other side of the table. She was closer to Allie’s age and she hoped that she and Emma could become close friends soon. She and Frank hosted Emma and her husband, Roger, and children, Alex and Katie, a little over a week ago. Alex was not quite two, but already proving to be everything a two-year-old was known for. Katie was a big four-year-old young lady.

  They had decided on a picnic lunch for the next outing. The children could run around and be kids while the adults supervised yet could still visit.

  As Allie sat with the women, her thoughts turned to many subjects. The weather was growing warmer by the day and the sunshine on Allie’s face was a welcome relief. It was a new year. A fresh start and Allie thought that God really wouldn’t make two bad years in a row, would He? She hoped not. Her poor heart couldn’t handle another one if it came anytime soon.

  Conversation stayed light. The ladies talked about the weather and who had their crops seeded. Some excitement was had during talks of the tiny apples beginning to form as the blossoms were dropping. Allie didn’t know much about apple farming, but knew it was a big deal in this area.

  Orchards were everywhere irrigation was, and more trees were being planted over the winter. From the talk of the town regarding their apples, she was anxiously waiting to try one fresh off the tree. She’d had apples before, of course, but these farmers made their apples sound heavenly. Unfortunately, apple harvesting was in the fall, so Allie would have to wait much longer than her taste buds wanted.

  “You haven’t eaten an apple until you’ve eaten a Yakima apple,” Belle had told her a while back.

  Before she knew it, their hour of quilting was over, and it was time to pack up and head for home. The quilt wouldn’t take too much longer to finish and then they would move onto the next.

  Allie found Frank in his office between patients.

  “Hi Allie,” he gave her a quick peck and sat back down over his notes. “How was the quilting group?”

  “It was more fun than I thought it would be. The ladies here are sweet and kind.”

  “Did you get a chance to mention about boiling water? I’ve been telling all my patients, but if you were spreading the word that would be helpful.”

  Allie didn’t realize she should.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. No, I didn’t say a word. I guess public health would be part of my role as the doctor’s wife, though. I’ll bring it up next week.”

  “Thanks so much. More cases have cropped up and even though work is being done to try to clean up the city, it isn’t slowing the disease down. I don’t think it is
the city’s fault, though. Those who are getting sick aren’t just from the city. It seems to hit at random all over here. There has to be a connection, but no one has been able to find it yet.”

  “Should I be doing more than just boiling water? I’m not sure what, but maybe there is something more for all of us to do?” Her brows were worried and Frank realized when he looked at her that he frightened her.

  “No, no. I think that’s all for now.” Changing the subject on purpose, he reached for an envelope on his desk. “You got a letter today.”

  Allie took the letter and read that it was from her Ma.

  “How exciting! I’ll let you get back to work and take this into the kitchen to read.”

  Frank was curious what was in it. He hoped it would either say she was much improved or go into more detail about her illness. He refrained from reading it though. Hopefully Allie would fill him in completely.

  Allie quickly left Frank and headed straight for the kitchen table. She took her gloves off and opened the envelope taking the folded paper out, unfolding it and laying it in front of her.

  My Dearest Allie,

  I hope this letter finds you happy and enjoying your life with Frank. Our spring weather seems to be fairly normal for this time of year, unlike last year. I continue to pray we never have a year like we did last. The scorching sun, tinder dry land, and massive fire that destroyed so much is more than anyone can deal with more than once.

  Drew misses you, but is falling into a new routine since you left. Adjusting takes a while for him, but he eventually figures it out. He is a great help around here.

  Your Pa is just as stubborn as ever. His knee has been bothering him lately and I keep trying to get him to relax a bit and rest it, but you know him. He will keep going until he can go no more.

  As for me, my dear, I’m still working towards getting better. Doc has been here several times and tells me to keep doing what I’m doing, which is rest, plenty of fluids, and your grandmam’s bone broth. Blinne has been here a few times to help out, too. Did you put her up to that?

  I should have known if I told you about this you’d find a way to help out. That is in your nature. She has been a blessing, catching us up on laundry and helping with cooking. Thank you for that. Hopefully, the next letter I send will be able to tell you that I’m fully recovered. I wish doc could tell me what is going on. He still thinks it’s just a virus, though, and we have to believe that and keep treating it like that. I love you, my sweet girl, and look forward to when either you two come to visit or your pa and I can come see you.

  Love Always,

  Ma

  Allie folded the paper and stuffed it back into the envelope. She needed to tell Frank. Something wasn’t right and she was getting scared. She knocked on the door to his office. He opened the door a crack.

  “Allie, is everything all right?”

  “You should probably read it,” she stated handing him the letter.

  “I will. I have a patient here, so I’ll come find you in a bit, okay?”

  Allie nodded her head and ran to their room to write another letter.

  Frank found her sitting at the little desk along their bedroom wall.

  “I read the letter.”

  Allie turned at the sound of his voice.

  “What do you think Frank?”

  He walked to the bed and sat down on the edge.

  “Well, it’s difficult to decide. It could be any number of things from an illness that has to run its course, anemia maybe, but that doesn’t completely fit… I don’t know. Without being there and seeing for myself, it’s too hard to tell.”

  “Do you think I should go? I have Blinne helping out, but I think she might need me. Blinne can’t do it all. She has her own family that needs her.”

  “I really just don’t know yet. I should have told you, I sent a letter to Doc a while ago. I’m not sure why I haven’t heard from him yet. If you want to go, I understand. I think waiting a bit to hear from Doc, or maybe more information from your mom, would be a good idea too. It’s really up to you.”

  Allie thought about it. She was needed in both houses. Frank could do everything on his own, but she was his wife and she didn’t want him to have to do her duties. Both her parents could use help, too. She felt like she had to make an impossible decision.

  “Waiting, I guess, wouldn’t hurt… if it’s not too long,” she stated and stood in front of him, tipping her head down on his shoulder.

  “Oh, Allie, come here,” Frank urged then wrapped her up in his arms once she sat on his lap. “Your Ma is a strong woman. We will just pray that whatever this is isn’t stronger than she is. Keep the faith, sweetheart. God’s will be done.”

  That was easier said than done for Allie, but she would try.

  CHAPTER 11

  Allie woke the next morning needing fresh air. She dressed and made breakfast for Frank so he could start his day. Then she found herself aimlessly wandering around Wiley. There really wasn’t much traffic, either. It was a sleepy town, and Allie loved the peace that it brought her. It meant she could think without being interrupted.

  The town wasn’t very big, and one could only wander so far before they came to the end. So, she turned and headed the other direction. She passed by the livery and stopped in to say a quick hi to their horse Penny. She didn’t have anything to offer her and felt sad she didn’t bring a treat. She borrowed the brush and brushed her down instead. Then she gave her a kiss on the nose and continued on her walk.

  Just out of town there was a small creek. Back home she had a creek out the back of her house. Anytime she needed to think, recover from a broken heart, or just relax, she would go wade or just sit by the creek. She knew this one was on private property, but didn’t think the Wiley family would mind if she plunked her feet in just by the road. She wouldn’t make a habit of this until she asked permission first though. She needed to remember that the next time she saw Mr. Wiley.

  Making her way down the slight hill she sat at the water’s edge. After scanning the area to make sure she was alone and wouldn’t be seen she unlaced her boots, removed her stockings and dipped her toes in. The days were warm, but the water was still very cold. Her feet felt like they were burning at first, but soon acclimated to the icy temperature. The water flowing over her taking her pain or worries with it was always soothing. She closed her eyes and just felt the water until her feet went numb and she realized she should probably pull them out of the water. She tucked her feet under her and let her body warm them back up. The tingling was a bit irritating and she wiggled her toes to hurry it along.

  “Allie is that you?”

  Allie startled and lifted her head off her knees. Standing in the road above her was Belle.

  “Oh, hello, Belle. How are you?”

  Belle walked down to Allie and decided to sit a spell next to her.

  “I’m doing well, dear. How are you?’

  “I’m all right. Just thinking.” She looked out over the water and Belle followed her gaze.

  “The water is a bit cold yet, isn’t it dear?” Belle noticed Allie’s boots and stockings placed next to her.

  “It does have a bite, yes ma’am.”

  Allie knew it wasn’t proper to be in any state of undress in public, but Belle wouldn’t mind seeing her legs as she replaced her stockings and laced up her boots.

  Allie was working to put herself back to rights, but Belle could see that she was still mentally somewhere else.

  “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” Belle asked, offering to listen.

  Allie hesitated. She really didn’t know Belle all that well, but out of those she knew here Belle was the closest, aside from Frank, of course. If she would tell anyone it would be Belle.

  “My Ma isn’t doing so well.”

  Belle sat waiting for more that didn’t come. She would need to push a little for it. “What do you mean by well, dear? Is she sick?”

  Allie sighed. “It appears so
, but no one really knows what is going on. Doc is treating it like a virus, but she’s been sick for several weeks now. She should at least have improvement if not be fully healed by now, I would think.”

  Belle scooted closer to Allie.

  “So, you are worried, maybe a bit frightened?”

  “Yes. I don’t know what to do,” Allie picked up a pebble beside her and tossed it into the creek.

  “Well has she asked you for help?”

  Allie chuckled. “My Ma asking for help? Then I would know, wouldn’t I. She is a strong woman who doesn’t like to burden anyone else with her problems. Both my parents are that way.”

  “Well then, I think you have your answer, dear.”

  Allie looked confused.

  “It isn’t time yet for you to go. You will know when it is. When your Ma loses the parts that make her who she is, that’s when you know. Hopefully, whatever this is, she will pull out of. But, if a day comes when her spark dims, her character changes… that will tell you. Let’s hope and pray it doesn’t come to that, shall we?”

  They grabbed hands and rose Allie’s worries to God.

  “Now you just remember to include Him in your worries you hear?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Learning to lean on God has been something I’ve been working on for a while now. I always just want to jump into action instead of waiting for him. That’s got me in a pickle a time or two before.” She stared back at the water.

  “I know you have a story, dear, and I’m ready and waiting whenever you want to talk about it. I know you will open up in your time, when it feels right. I won’t push you. I have a mother’s heart and will share a bit with you, if you want it.”

  Allie’s eyes teared up and a lump formed in her throat. She batted her eyes to clear them.

  “Oh dear, come here.”

  Belle embraced Allie as all of those pent-up tears fell. Tears for her past, for her ma, for her angel, for children she hoped to have one day. All things she had already cried over countless times. She wondered if she would ever have a healed heart. She gave Belle everything without telling her anything. One day maybe she would be strong enough to say the words. Today just having a shoulder to cry on was enough. Allie released first and worked at drying her eyes.