Hidden Monster (The Monsters Among Us Book 1)

by Amanda Strong

  My mom gaped at me and then glanced at Mack, who nodded.

  “But the therapist said not to tell her,” she stuttered.

  “Her therapist’s an idiot. She needs to know,” he replied, folding his arms. “She should’ve known all along.”

  My mom’s eyes were wide and with obvious hesitation, she finally glanced my way again.

  “So it’s all true then? I really have been two people this whole time?” I asked.

  “Samantha, we tried everything to help you let go of the drowning experience. Your doctor thought the best course would be to not tell you about her, not make you aware of her presence. She worried if you knew about Sammy, it’d only strengthen her hold on you. We all hoped that when the fear finally ended, you’d be fine. And then right when you were finally getting better, the cabin happened. We didn’t know what to expect after that. We thought for sure it’d be Sammy coming home to us when they’d found you. Your therapist warned us that Sammy would be a stronger force now, since she probably protected you while you were abducted. But you came back totally different. Not really acting like Sammy or Samantha. Your eyes seemed hollow. I can’t explain it. Like you were a shell of the girl we knew.”

  I knew what she was talking about. I remembered those days all too well. I glanced over to see Mack frowning.

  “Then Blake came into your life, and the spark came back,” my mom said.

  Mack flinched.

  After an hour of talking to my mom, she’d filled in enough blanks, told me too many stories, for me to doubt the veracity of their words. I was Sammy. Sammy was me. What I had thought was a mere nickname throughout my life was actually my friends and family wondering who they were with, me or Sammy. My mom told me that they could always test who I was by simply calling me Samantha first. If it were Sammy, she’d get mad. It seemed so ridiculous. Sammy seems pretty immature.

  My mom left the living room and Mack, who sat next to me on the couch, glanced over.

  “You okay? Your face keeps getting paler and paler,” he said.

  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I tried to smile, but I could only gaze back at him.

  “Samantha, I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I wish I could go back. I’d do a thousand things differently. I never would have listened to Sammy,” he said in a low voice.

  “Mack, I know.” I wished I could say something to make him feel better. He wasn’t the only one to blame here. In some weird way, it was my fault too.

  “Well, don’t worry. You won’t have to be around me much longer,” he admitted.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked, thinking he was joking, but his face said otherwise.

  “I sent Blake a text. I told him that you know about Sammy… and that I did the cabin. Pretty sure he’s on the next flight back to Durango,” he said with a sad laugh at his own joke.

  I gaped at him. “Oh. Wait, what do you mean you won’t be around? You think Blake’s going to throw you in one of Tonbo’s prisons or something?”

  “Oh no. I don’t deserve prison,” he mumbled.

  “Well, you don’t deserve a beating either.” I didn’t like this new turn, even though I’d wished it earlier. Now that I knew Blake was coming, I felt like I needed to defend Mack, crazy as it was.

  “I’ll talk to Blake. He’ll understand. He’s working with his brother, who did a lot worse things than you,” I said firmly. “Give Blake some credit. You’re his friend.”

  “Exactly. And I totally stabbed him in the back. Don’t you see it, Samantha? Stop being nice to me! I’m not worthy of your mercy or Blake’s. Jaxon’s a slave to the bug in him. I’m not. I have no excuses.”

  “Except for the fact you were in love. I don’t care if I should hate you, I don’t. And I’m not letting Blake hurt you either.”

  Mack wanted to go home, face his fate head on, but I was stubborn and made him stay in my room that night. He did, sitting in the corner. As much as I knew he’d been part of everything, my anger channeled more towards Kate and less at Mack. He seemed so defeated that I could hardly stand it.

  “Mack?” I asked. The lights were off and even though he chose to be in camo, his scent filled the room.

  “Mm,” he answered.

  “Why do you think Sammy’s finally gone?”

  “You didn’t black out after becoming a damsel. I kept waiting for Sammy to appear, but she didn’t. I’d begun to believe you’d won the fight. Even as much as I cared for Sammy, I knew it would be the right thing. I had let Sammy go, so to speak. Then we got word from Tonbo that you’d disappeared from the island after we’d gone. Tonbo said you’d passed out during the performance and when they roused you, you seemed different. You were bossy, angry, and wanted to get back to your room. Tonbo felt bad, thought you were mad about us leaving you.”

  “But you thought it was Sammy?”

  “Yeah, and so did Blake. He totally freaked out because we both knew that you would wake up anywhere and not know how you got there. So we convinced Kory to take a detour. We checked all over Durango for you, but came up with nothing. I’m still not sure where you went as Sammy or how Jaxon ended up with you. You’d have to ask Jaxon, I guess.”

  “So why do you think she’s not coming back though?”

  “Well, I’m not really certain, but you woke up in the bug’s caverns. You faced him head on as yourself and never once did Sammy come out. Maybe you finally showed her you are strong enough and don’t need her anymore.”

  “Actually Mack, you might be right. Right before I changed into that girl, I had this weird feeling come over me. It was like something within me wanted me to pass out. And I remember telling myself that I was strong enough to do it. Maybe I did tell Sammy to go away then, so to speak.”

  “Sounds like it.”

  “I’m sorry, Mack.”

  “What on earth are you sorry for?” he gasped.

  “That you didn’t get to be with Sammy. That you lost her.”

  I heard a flutter in the wind, and then I felt his hand on my face. He’d flown over to me, but in the dark and with his camo, I hadn’t seen it.

  “I can’t tell you how glad I am that you, Samantha, are the one who’s here right now. You’re the one who deserves to be happy. Not me and not Sammy.”

  I wanted to respond, but the scent of woods and honey overwhelmed me.

  Blake’s here.

  I sat up as Mack’s hand slip from my face. There was whoosh of wind and then both guys became visible. Blake held Mack by his shirt, slammed up against a wall with one hand.

  “Blake! Stop!” I cried out, jumping up from my bed, rushing over to them.

  “What the hell were you thinking Mack?” Blake hissed through a clenched jaw. I saw his free hand balled up into a fist.

  “I have no excuses. Just do it, man,” Mack replied.

  “Wait, Blake, you don’t know everything!” I tugged on his arm, trying to keep him from punching Mack in the face.

  “I know enough. I confronted Kate. Something about her behavior was off. And she told me what they’d done. And I know Mack went along with them when he could’ve stopped it all,” Blake retorted.

  He shoved Mack against the wall again, but Mack refused to speak. He agrees with Blake.

  “If he hadn’t finished my injections, who knows what I’d be now! He had to do it! He only did what he did because he’s in love with Sammy!” I countered.

  This must have caught Blake by surprise because his eyes widened. “Is that true?”

  Mack wouldn’t meet Blake’s glare. Blake shook him, but not as hard. “Mack, you’re in love with her?” he asked again.

  “I never meant for it to happen,” Mack said. “Blake, get on with it, do what you want. I deserve it. I’m done lying.”

  My hand still clutched Blake’s arm. I could feel his chest heaving. I didn’t know how I wanted this all to end, but I knew I’d go crazy if Blake hit Mack. Even if he had it coming.

  Blake swore under his breath, and th
en his grip slackened. Mack’s feet hit the carpet. Blake released him and walked away, turning his back on Mack. Only I saw the pain etched in his eyes.

  “Get out of here, Mack, before I change my mind,” he muttered.

  Before I could stop him, Mack disappeared from view and the scent of cloves and ginger disappeared with him. He’s gone. And with him went a sliver of my heart.

  Chapter 45

  We held each other that night. The past day had proven to be emotionally exhausting and devastating to both of us. I cried more than once, and Blake just held me tight. We’d been deceived, lied to, and hurt in so many ways. As it got later, he’d locked my door and wordlessly climbed in bed next to me. I hadn’t fought him. I’d welcomed him. He felt like the only warm thing left in my life.

  He kissed me and cradled me in his arms. We didn’t say much. Neither one of us wanted to express in words what had happened. Any doubts I might have had over my feelings for Blake were gone. He was the only thing that kept me grounded—the only thing that lifted the dead weight settling in my heart.

  Around midnight, I finally poked my head up off his chest and asked, “Are you asleep?”

  “Nope,” he answered, his eyes still closed. His hand fumbled to find my face, stroking my cheek.

  “What’s going to happen to Jaxon?” I whispered. I had to know.

  Blake sighed and opened his eyes. “Tonbo is doing everything he can to heal him. I made sure of that.”

  “Oh really? How?”

  “I made Tonbo a deal. If he heals Jaxon, I swore I’d take over the island like he wanted. And do what needs to be done.”

  I peered up at him. “What do you mean?” Something in his tone unsettled me.

  “Tonbo’s afraid Kory might inject more people with what he’d gotten from that bug, if he hasn’t already. We fear he’s trying to build his own army of bugs.”

  “Oh no.” I gasped at the implications.

  “Yeah, from what Jaxon described of Kory’s little ‘lab,’ I’m pretty sure he is. I think Jaxon was his first test subject. It worked out perfect since he’d asked Kory how he could change… for me,” Blake’s voice faded. He cleared his throat. “But then Jaxon proved to be out of even Kory’s control. I think that’s when he came up with the idea of getting me in on the hunt. It’s a win-win for him. Either I killed the bug so Kory didn’t have to worry about it, or it killed me.”

  “You think he’d actually do it? Basically release a bunch of serial killers?”

  “Yeah, I do. I’m sure he’s working on the serum now, trying to find a way to subdue the monsters to obey his will.” Blake stopped and stroked my face with his fingers. “Sam, I have to stop him. I’ll be moving to the island soon to make sure Kory doesn’t succeed.”

  I’d been nodding along to what he was saying until he said he would be moving.

  “Wait, what? You’re leaving?” I gasped, sitting up. I hadn’t thought that part out. Of course he’d have to leave. To be closer. But…

  He pulled me back into his arms. “I have to go. If Tonbo fixes Jaxon, I gave my word.”

  “You can’t lead it from here? Just make trips?”

  “No, Sam. Especially if there are bugs out there.” His tone was heavy.

  “Blake, you can’t leave me. You can’t! I’ll have no one. Not even Mack…” My throat completely closed off on his name. Blake’s arms held me tighter.

  “Mack’s not gone forever, Sam,” he grunted. “I’ll find the little bugger after a bit… just not yet. I’m still mad as hell at him.”

  I glanced up at Blake and, to my surprise, his eyes were dancing.

  “Why do you look happy all of a sudden? You just told me you’re moving!”

  “When do you turn eighteen?” he asked instead, ignoring my distress.

  “Blake, who cares when my birthday is?” I punched him in the chest.

  “I do. When is it?” He grabbed my hands and flipped me down on my bed.

  As much as I wanted to be upset, the playful Blake triggered something within. I pulled his face closer to mine. Our lips met and a fire burst through me, breaking the heaviness on my heart. I kissed him, hungry to end the hurt within. And in that moment, I felt he kissed me with the same need. We stopped after a minute, both breathless, leaving our foreheads resting on one another.

  “I want to know when your birthday is because I love you, Sam Campbell, and I want to know how long it will be until you are my Mrs. Knightly.”

  I sat back and gazed into his eyes. “Are you serious?”

  He gave me a crooked grin. “Well, that depends on your answer.”

  “January twenty-eighth,” I said, automatically.

  He chuckled and kissed my hand. “Not exactly the answer I was looking for.”

  I could only stare at him, my mouth gaping. I still grappled with his implications.

  “But Mack said we can’t have kids,” I blurted, and then cringed. Of all the times to ask about that!

  “Whoa, still not the answer I was hoping for.” He chuckled, pulling me into his arms.

  I felt safe, like this was the only place I could ever belong. I peered into his eyes, his face hopeful, waiting on me.

  “I love you, Blake,” I said, voicing the words to him for the first time. I felt no fear; the monsters were gone. At least for the time being.

  He grinned and kissed my lips. “That’s more like it. You know, I’m beginning to believe there might actually be a silver lining to this hellish storm. And it’s you, Sam.”

  We fell asleep together, pushing the worry over Kory being out there roaming free, Jaxon being enslaved to an inner monster, and Mack left alone and desperate, for another day. We needed this time. We needed to heal each other’s wounds.

  Yet, when Blake stirred later in the night and woke me, I became listless. His breathing was deep and even. I lifted my head off his chest and rolled on my back, staring at the ceiling.

  “Sammy?” I whispered. “I don’t know if you can hear me or not. Or how this works even. I had no idea you even existed until today, but you’ve known about me for a long time. If you are still around and can hear me, I want to say thank you. You saved me once from drowning. And you saved me again when you gave me Blake. He never would have even entered into my life, but would’ve loved me from afar, because he’s that selfless. But I need him in my life. And I’m pretty sure he needs me too. So maybe all that plotting with Mack was all for me after all. At least that’s what I choose to believe.”

  Blake murmured something in his sleep, and I settled back down into his arms. A weight had been lifted off me. I could breathe again. We’d face the world tomorrow. Tonight, it was just Blake and me.

  At least, I was pretty sure it was just me.

  Acknowledgments

  I have to start with a HUGE thank you to my husband, Josh! I have to give him credit for helping me find my Ah-ha moment with this book. It wouldn’t be what it is without you hon! Thank you for believing in me, supporting me, and not minding when dinner is late and the dishes aren’t done.

  A tremendous thank you to my three beautiful children! Thank you for letting your mommy disappear at random times to type furiously. I love that my kids want to know all about my stories.

  To all my wonderful friends and family who supported me while writing this. Gail Wagner, for always being my first set of eyes to catch all my many mistakes! You always make time for my writing even though you are busy being an author yourself! To my Wattpad fans and readers, who have patiently waited for each chapter update, now you don’t have to wait anymore!

  Music played a huge part in writing Hidden Monster. Entire scenes and sequences were inspired by songs! A thank you to Imagine Dragons, Avicii, Great Big World, The Killers, and Blue October. I consider all these artist a great source for inspiration!

  To Clean Teen Publishing, you are my writing family! Rebecca Gober and Courtney Nuckels, for believing in my writing and the thousand things you do behind the scenes to get my works publi
shed, thank you! To Marya Heiman, for my gorgeous yet creepy cover, love it! Dyan Brown for organizing everything from beta readers to scheduling tours! To Cynthia Shepp for providing excellent editing and feedback!

  And lastly, and most importantly, I thank my God, for all the good things in my life!

  About the Author

  Born in Dekalb, Illinois, Amanda Strong has called Utah, Arizona, Hawaii, Virginia and now New Mexico home. Amanda has been spinning tales since she was a child. Her family still remembers finding her with bright pink glasses, hiding in random corners of the house while scribbling away in one of her many spiral-bound notebooks. You could say some things have not changed.

  Amanda began her writing career signing with Clean Teen Publishing in the fall of 2013. Her first novel, The Awakener, book one in a young adult paranormal romance series called: the Watchers of Men, came out in October of 2013. She is currently working on book two, The Watchers, expected to come out in the fall of 2014.

  When Amanda isn’t writing, you can find her chasing her three rambunctious children around the house and spending time with her wonderful and supportive husband. On some occasions you can still find Amanda with her not-so-pink glasses, hiding in a corner reading her favorite young adult fantasy novels or working out only to blow her diet by eating ice cream.

  @aewstrong

  authoramandaestrong

  amandastrong.weebly.com

  Find out what happens next in Inner Demons; available now!

  Who do you trust when you can't trust yourself?

  Having discovered who was behind her abduction, Samantha Campbell is still haunted by what happened. Memory lapses and a nagging suspicion that the cabin was only the beginning means Sam needs answers. Her only problem? The one person who might have them still wants to kill her.

  With Mack unwilling to forgive himself, and Blake refusing to let her anywhere near his brother, she must find other ways to piece together her missing time line. Hoping that returning to Tonbo's Islands will help, Blake and Sam are horrified to learn Kory's treachery runs even deeper. Ancients are missing, Kate's disappeared, and the worst part is Sam feels she may be responsible.