Liddy was saying all the right things to me today. Had she planned all of this? I smiled at the thought of her arranging for one of her friends to play fetch with his dog to distract me.
“What friend were you thinking of?”
“Alex.”
“How odd that your friend is named Alex.”
“Why, because my last name is Alexander? We were called the A-team at school.” It wasn’t so odd, actually.
“Yeah!” She smiled. “Tell me about her.”
It was time to get down to business.
I bobbed my head and took a swig of coffee so I could get the words out. “She was my best friend.”
“Was?” The question hung above Liddy’s head like a cartoon bubble.
“Yeah. She died.” I looked back at the dog.
“Was this recently?” Liddy’s body language signaled that she was cautious not to press too hard, too fast.
I stared at the slats in the table. “Uh, no. It happened a few years ago.”
“How did it happen?”
“It was an…accident. She was in the hospital and there was some type of mix-up.” I looked away so Liddy wouldn’t see I was lying. It wasn’t an accident.
“What do you mean? Did they give her the wrong medicine?”
I could tell her concern was genuine.
“Oh, no. Nothing like that. She was in a treatment facility…for drugs…somehow another patient or someone gave her heroin and Alex overdosed.” I reached into my backpack and fished out my water bottle.
Liddy sat back, taking this in.
“That must have been devastating. Was she being treated for a heroin addiction?”
“From what I know, she had never used heroin. Her drugs of choice were cocaine and alcohol. She used to joke that she’d drink gasoline if it got her drunk or high.” I sighed, thinking about how quickly Alex became hopelessly hooked. The person who got her addicted to the junk was evil. Pure evil.
“How old was she?” queried Liddy.
“Thirteen.”
Liddy whistled through her teeth. “You know I have to ask?”
I looked up from the table. “No, I don’t use drugs. I never touched the stuff. Not even pot.”
She nodded her head slowly, letting the information sink in. It looked like she was forming her next question but couldn’t think of the right words.
“Alex and I knew each other since birth, pretty much. We were like s-sisters—” I couldn’t finish the thought. Tears blurred my vision. I felt Liddy’s hand on my arm again.
“My parents thought it would be too much for me to go to the funeral. At least that’s what they said. I think my dad wanted to distance his name from the whole thing. Bad press—you know how it goes.” I shrugged.
My last memory of Alex was the night the police had taken her away. I closed my eyes and saw her crazed face.
“After that, I didn’t really let anyone in…not until I met Jess. At school, I was friendly with some of the kids, but not close to anyone. I had casual friends to go to the movies with and such, but not a single true friend.”
For some reason, Mel didn’t enter into the conversation. I had met Mel around the same time that I met Jess. Jess started to ask about my friends, and I had been embarrassed that I didn’t really have any, so I made sure to acquire one. Mel was there, and she fit the bill. When Mel and Jess hit it off, I thought everything had gone according to plan. Now, things were weird between the two of them. I couldn’t put my finger on it yet, but something was wrong.
I scratched one of my scars. “Why do scars itch?”
Liddy contemplated my arm. “Did you hurt yourself because of Alex?”
Her question floored me.
I shrugged it off. “Maybe. I don’t really remember much from that day.” It was a lie. I remembered that day better than any other day.
“How did Jess react—after finding you?”
“Oh, geez. You should have heard all of the screaming.” I smiled meekly. “It’s not the best way to impress…someone.”
“At least not in the normal way.” Liddy gave me a “Chin-up, Tiger” kind of smile.
“True. And now I get to do this.” I motioned to her across the table.
“Next time, you might weigh your promises a little more carefully.”
I cringed. “Tell me about it. But I did get a coffee out of the deal.”
* * *
Sitting in the beanbag, I closed my eyes and tried to block out all of the hubbub going on around me. Minnie, Karen, and Jenna ran about getting ready for our night out at a party. I didn’t give a damn what I looked like, so I refused to get dolled up.
Minnie had disappeared into the bathroom when I heard someone knock on the door. I groaned. If I could have, I would have stayed on my throne for the rest of the night. Instead, I heaved my body up and went to answer the door.
“Hey, Paige. What’s up?” Tom strolled into the room.
“Not much. Come on in.” He either didn’t notice my sarcasm or chose to ignore it.
We’d had our “date” the night before. Surprisingly, it had gone well. All we’d done was talk sports. No awkwardness. When we’d said goodbye, Tom had given me a hug and that was all.
He lowered himself into the beanbag, grabbed the remote, and changed the channel to ESPN. Tom was feeling right at home, and I was responsible for that.
“Where are Ben and Aaron?”
“Oh.” He waved the remote. “They should be here soon with the beer.”
“That’s good. I was worried we wouldn’t have a drink before ten.”
“Never.” He looked solemn, as if he were praying in church. It made me laugh.
He reached into his coat pocket. “Here, I got you this.” He handed me a vodka shooter. “I know you don’t like beer much.” He winked at me.
I was touched. “Thanks, Tom. That was thoughtful.” He focused on the TV again and I was relieved that he didn’t expect a kiss in return. His cool demeanor was making it easy for me.
While I fixed up a Coke and vodka—I didn’t have any tonic—Minnie appeared around the corner.
“Hey, Tom. I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I was hoping to see you naked so I snuck in.”
Minnie looked aghast and both Tom and I broke into giggles.
“You two are wretched.”
“Wretched,” I mocked.
Tom shrugged and looked confused.
Karen sauntered in and threw open my closet. “Does anyone have a white scrunchie? I can’t find mine.” She was holding her red curls on top of her head with one hand.
“Why don’t you go like that? It looks so darn cute.”
“Very funny.”
“Well, I don’t have one.” I motioned for her to shut my closet.
“Sorry.” She put one palm in the air.
“Karen, look in my pink box. I’m certain I have one.” Minnie pointed to the box with her curling iron.
Karen stuck her tongue out at me. “At least I can count on you, Audrey.”
Another knock sounded on the door. Minnie opened the door one-handed, with the other hand in the air curling some of her hair. Ben ducked under her arm, and Aaron looked puzzled that she had opened the door in such a state. Not very military-like, was my guess.
“Uh, I have the beer,” said the muscle man.
“Dude, in here,” commanded Tom.
Aaron sidled in along the wall, avoiding contact with Minnie and her deadly curling iron.
“Is Jewels coming?” He tried to regain some of his maleness.
“Nope.” Minnie seized another chunk of hair and wrapped it around the device.
Aaron shuddered. Tom and I made eye contact and sniggered behind his back. He mouthed, “Only child.”
Ben looked on, but I’m pretty sure he was stoned out of his mind. I wondered if he would make it through the year without getting kicked out.
* * *
Hours later, I drop
ped the entourage off in front of the frat house, and went to park my car in the back. Jenna followed me in her own car. I let her take the first available spot while I located another vacant spot at the back of the lot.
When I walked past Jenna’s car, another car drove by, kicking up dirt. I waved the particles away and spat some from my mouth. Jenna had already gone inside. I threw my arms up in the air. I had let her have the parking spot, she could have at least waited for me.
Several groups of people gathered in front of the house. As I made my way to the door, I felt their eyes on me. Frat parties gave me the willies, but it was all part of my cover.
I tripped down onto the dance floor and collided with a huge dude.
“Careful, the first step is killer,” he shouted, and held me up so I could recover my footing.
“Thank you.”
I squinted, trying to adjust to the darkness. Every few seconds, a strobe light eradicated it, but the fleeting light disconcerted me even more. Music pounded my eardrums. All I could make out was a massive, moving herd of dancers, making it nearly impossible to pick out an individual.
“Paige, what the fuck are you doing here?”
I turned to the voice. “Jewels, is that you?”
“Yup.” She didn’t stop dancing to answer. “I didn’t think you did the whole party thing. What are you doing?”
“Drowning in beer.”
She misunderstood, and raised her beer. “Me too.”
I had been referring to all of the beer on the floor.
“Oh, Aaron is looking for you,” I said.
“What?” She looked around nervously. “Is he here? What a bore!”
“Another failed romance?”
“You could say that.” She motioned over her shoulder. “But I got a good feeling about this one.” I couldn’t see her all that well, but I’m sure she winked at me.
I patted her on the shoulder. “Good luck. Do me a favor, if you see my roomies, tell them I’m looking for them.”
“Righty-o.” She waved her beer and vanished into the dancing herd.
Why had I agreed to come to this party? I wasn’t fond of crappy beer. I hated dancing. And silliness—not a fan. Yet here I was, meandering from one absurd situation to another.
Working my way through the maze of blackness and stinky bodies, I happened upon a group that was too drunk to dance. They all leaned on each other in a way that gave new meaning to the song, Lean on Me.
“What do you mean the keg’s dry?” demanded the first drunk.
“That’s ex-exactly what I mean. It’s dry. Gone. N-no more,” hiccupped the next one.
“There’s no more beer!” stated the third.
It has always amazed me that for some reason drunks think the beer is never-ending, especially free beer. It’s always comical to watch their reactions when they find out that’s not true.
“But…I’mmmmm nnnnnotttt done!”
“You are if you stay here.”
Knowing this conversation would take hours, I moved on in search of my friends.
“The only pussy my boyfriend gets is mine.” The voice came from someone I faintly recognized, and from what I heard about the boyfriend, he got pussy anytime he wanted.
“Isn’t that right, honey? The only pussy you get is from me,” said the sweet talker.
There was no reply from her lover.
“You better not be fucking anyone else, you sonofabitch.” Her voice lost her sweetness. “Because I’ll cut your dick off.”
Still no response.
“You asshole…you are fucking around.” She staggered back to take a swing, but before she could raise her arm, the drunks had fallen on top of each other. Only half of them realized what had happened. The other half complained about swimming in a pool of beer and undesirable liquids on the floor.
I sighed. Finally, I located an empty tree stump outside and slumped down on it. What would Jess say if she found out about Tom? The girl inside the party took things to a whole level Jess wouldn’t fathom, but still, it wasn’t nice what I was doing. But what could I do? I had to pretend to be straight. I didn’t want to end up like Alex, locked up in a treatment facility. She hadn’t survived that, and we’d been two peas in the same pod. Who was to say I would survive if I got locked up? I knew damn sure my parents wouldn’t care if I didn’t. “Dating” Tom was a must: survival of the fittest and all of that hoopla.
I wanted to cry. If I could just get through college quickly, I would be free of my parents forever. Then I could get a job, move away with Jess, and let my family rot in hell for all I cared. I scanned the backyard and studied the partygoers. What did they have to worry about? Grades? Probably not. Money? Maybe, but most were spoiled brats. Sex? That was about all that mattered here. Not life and death situations. Well, not unless they got AIDS—then that would be life and death. But what was the likelihood of that at an isolated school in this town? Besides this college and the one main street, there wasn’t much to the area. That’s why I had chosen it: anonymity. This place was insulated from the real world.
“Paige! How the fuck are you?” Karen fell on top of me, spilling my water.
I brushed the water droplets off.
“Where have you been? We’ve been looking for you for hours.” Minnie stared at me with one eye. Why was her left eye closed? Minnie the pirate.
“I was inside, looking for you three.”
“Why, we’ve been out here the whole time.” Minnie waved her beer.
It was obvious that the three mouseketeers had hit the keg before it tapped out.
“Oh, don’t worry, I’ve been conversing with our school’s elite this evening.” I smiled ruefully.
“Sounds so boring, and speaking of boring, this party is dead. The beer’s gone. Do you know where we can go?” Jenna looked hopeful as she swatted at an imagery gnat. Obviously, she won’t be able to drive the guys home, I thought. Where were they? I looked around, but couldn’t see hide nor hair of them. I shrugged. They had a better chance of finding a ride home unmolested.
“Yeah…this partay has had it.” Karen threw in her two cents.
“Yeah!” clarified Minnie.
I scratched my chin, mulling over an idea. “Actually, I do know of a place we can go.”
“Great! Letzzzz go!” Karen marched off before I’d even finished getting all the words out.
They filed into a line and headed toward the fence. We always entered a frat party via the front door, but we always left by hopping over the fence, in case the coppers were outside waiting to pounce. I didn’t understand this logic. Wouldn’t the cops be smart enough to wait in the back? But who was I to ruin a tradition? Besides, watching drunk people jump a fence was entertaining. I did my best to shove all three of them over before gracefully swinging over myself. Occasionally, one of them got hurt, but they never knew it until the next morning, and by then I could lie about how they’d sprained their ankle. Another tradition for the sober driver, I’m assuming.
I smooshed all of them into the back seat, since I didn’t trust their drunk asses not to mess with all the shiny buttons in the front.
Before they knew what was going on, I had parked the car, whisked them back to the dorm, and opened the door to my room.
“Hey, wait a minute, this is your room. There’s no party here. I should know; I live next door.” Karen put her hands on her hips.
Minnie waggled her finger in my face. “This is a nasty trick.”
“You’re all so smart. I can’t put anything past you.”
“You mean this is a joke,” asked Karen.
“Nope. I mean goodnight.” I shoved my way past them and fell onto my bed, not bothering to change out of my clothes.
The three stooges jibber-jabbered at the door for a minute and then admitted defeat. Slowly, they dispersed. I heard Karen and Jenna crash through the bathroom on their way to their own room.
I hoped Tom and the boys had made it home safe. While Minnie w
as in the bathroom, I tried calling Jess. She didn’t answer. Then I dialed Tom’s number. Again, no answer. Where was everyone?
* * *
“Where are you going?” asked a lethargic voice.
“Heading home for the weekend. I’m sorry I woke you.” I patted Minnie’s arm. She was still in bed. Most people were, at four in the morning.
“What time is it?” Minnie tried to sit up, but ended up grabbing her head and falling back down onto the pillow.
“Early. Too early to talk. I’ll see you Sunday night or Monday morning.”
She grunted a goodbye as I slung my backpack over my shoulder.
When I had woken up a few minutes ago and dialed Jess’s number, she still wasn’t home. I had a bad feeling.
The highway was deserted, so I made good time to the apartment. I pulled into the parking lot and spied her car. That was a relief. Now what, though? Should I barge in and wake her up, or should I head to Denny’s and have breakfast and wait? What if I was super quiet and crawled into bed with her? She might like that surprise. Smiling, I let myself into the apartment.
Jess stood in the kitchen, pouring a beer. I looked at my watch. Was I mistaken about the time? Six. I tapped my watch.
“Hey, what are you doing here?” She slapped the glass down on the counter and rushed over to me.
Her hug seemed genuine. Everything was normal, except that it was dawn and she had apparently just returned from her evening exploits.
“Are you just getting home?” I asked.
She reeked of smoke.
“And have you been smoking?”
Jess pushed me away, teasingly. “Are you checking up on me, Paige?” She tapped her foot, waiting for my answer.
“Yes. I tried calling you last night when I got home and then I called this morning when I woke up. I was worried. Where have you been?”
“At work. You wouldn’t believe the mess my boss, Richard, got us into. He signed this client, and Tim, Sally, and I had to work all night to get a presentation together for first thing Monday.”
I thought about that for a minute. “Why couldn’t you work on it over the weekend?” I wasn’t trying to accuse her of anything, I just found her explanation odd.
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