by Sue Welfare
She stopped and bit her lip. Suzie stepped closer. ‘Do you want to tell me what happened?’
Hannah shook her head. ‘No, not really.’ She looked up into her mum’s face and hoped that it would be enough.
‘Whatever it is, you know you can tell us if you want to, don’t you?’
Hannah nodded, trying hard to keep the tears in check. ‘I know, it was nothing really but sometimes you just know things from what might have happened, do you know what I mean?’
‘Yes, I do,’ said Suzie. ‘And it’s good if you can spot those things.’ She put an arm around Hannah. ‘You know that we love you, don’t you?’
‘Even when I’ve been so horrible.’
‘Even then.’
‘Oh Mum,’ she snuffled. ‘I don’t think anyone loves Sadie, not enough to give her rules and make her feel like they care about her – not anyone, and that’s why she wants to get people to do things.’
Suzie looked at her and waited.
‘So I thought I’d come back,’ Hannah said. ‘And then I met Megan and Simon and we thought we’d all come back together.’
Suzie nodded to acknowledge Simon, who smiled back nervously.
Just for a moment Hannah was worried that Megan might say something to Suzie about her being drunk and about the man in the shed but instead Megan said, ‘Do you want some hot chocolate? Only the kettle just boiled and there are some more marshmallows left in the jar if you want some.’
And it was her dad who said, ‘Yes, that would be great and then I think we should all go back to the party – just for half an hour to say goodnight to Grandma and Granddad. Then if you want to come back here you can.’
Which was the kind of thing he used to say before Sadie had shown up and everything had gone wrong.
*
Back at the party, as the evening unwound and the night darkened, the band had slowed the music down to match the increasingly mellow mood. People drifted away into the garden and to the tables to drink and chatter, while others made their way onto the dance floor, getting close, enjoying the softer sounds and the warmth of the summer night.
Fleur and Frank danced cheek to cheek, gracefully moving around to something soulful and romantic, while a few feet away Liz was enjoying her first dance with Max. For the first time all evening she was really enjoying herself, and thinking how very lucky she was that Grant hadn’t showed up after all. She wouldn’t have relaxed if he had been there, she would have been worried about what he was thinking, about the judgements he was making about her family and her roots. Certainly he wouldn’t have been at all happy with something so homespun, not unless Liz had managed to whip up some big name to entertain them, and enough Class As to keep the party humming.
No, this was much, much easier and felt so much nicer. Max’s strong arms held her tight but not too tight, he looked rakish and piratey in his jeans and creamy-white cotton shirt, which highlighted his tan, and the five o’clock shadow he was sporting made a lot of his cheekbones and those humorous bright eyes. She could feel her imagination struggling to invent all kinds of endings and ideas and possibilities but she kept it firmly in check. Tonight for once she was going to do this one step at time. Enjoy it for what it was, not what it might be or could be or could be shoe-horned into, although it was hard to resist the headline: TV’s top girl falls in love with gorgeous country farmer.
Suzie meanwhile had her head on Sam’s shoulder, delighted to be back in his arms, delighted that they had begun to clear the air between them. There was still a lot to talk about, a lot of things to do and a lot of things to get to the bottom of: the girls, the TV show, the garden, his job, and how they would make sure that they didn’t end up back in this mess again. But she knew now that they were talking they could get it back on track. There was still the matter of her parents not exactly making forty years of happy married life . . . but that could wait a while longer.
Across the dance floor in a quiet corner away from the pack she could see Simon and Hannah experimenting with the first, uneasy, self-conscious fumblings of dancing for real with someone you cared about. It made her smile. Simon seemed like a really nice boy. Close by, Megan was dancing with her granddad Jack, who was swinging his hands from side to side, dancing in a circle. As her eyes met Suzie’s, Megan waved and giggled and Jack gave her the thumbs-up and did a little granddad-dance-wiggle that made Megan roll her eyes and then fall into another fit of giggling. Suzie smiled, the tension easing. Tonight, for the first time in a very long time, everything felt all right.
Over by the kitchen she could see that Rory had arrived to give Matt a hand with the last of the clearing away, and both were singing along with the chorus of some mushy old love song, grinning at each other as they wheeled the last of the boxes outside.
Over by one of the tables, Suzie caught sight of Rose deep in conversation with a little group of women. There was something familiar about all of them. She was sure that one was the woman who had been trying to talk to her earlier in the evening, and as the music faded, Suzie decided to make her way over, something drawing her towards the little huddle.
‘Do you want a drink?’ asked Sam, as she slipped out of his arms and made her way across the marquee. ‘I thought I’d get the kids something too.’
‘Great idea,’ said Suzie. ‘I’m just going to see if Mum’s all right.’
‘And how about you?’ he said, catching hold of her hand. ‘Are you okay?’
She smiled at him. ‘Never better.’
Sam grinned. ‘You know that I love you, don’t you?’
And for the first time in months she said, ‘Yes and I love you too. I’ll be over there.’
Sam nodded. ‘Do you think your mum wants anything?’
Suzie shrugged.
‘I’ll ask,’ he said.
The women gathered around the table didn’t take much notice of Suzie or Sam’s arrival.
‘Hi Mum,’ Suzie said. ‘Everything okay?’
Rose nodded but Suzie wasn’t totally convinced and hung on in there.
‘I’m just going to the bar,’ said Sam, looking from face to face. ‘Anyone else here want a drink?’
Rose took a breath and then said, ‘No, I’m fine thank you. Suzie, Sam – this is Janet. Janet Fielding. Janet, this is my eldest daughter and Sam, her husband.’
Suzie smiled. ‘Pleased to meet you.’
‘Janet was our bridesmaid.’
‘Oh right,’ said Suzie, holding out her hand. ‘I remember the name now. We were looking for you earlier to come and have your photo taken with the rest of the gang. I’m sorry that we couldn’t find you.’
Janet smiled graciously. ‘It should be me apologising. I wasn’t sure that I’d be able to make it tonight so I gave the girls my invitation.’
‘Oh well, that’s fine,’ said Suzie, glancing at the other two younger women. It seemed like a rather bizarre solution, she thought, but given the night’s events, it felt as if anything was possible. Both of them looked like a younger version of their mother.
‘Helen and Nina. They’re twins,’ Janet said proudly. ‘Non-identical obviously. Helen’s a school teacher and Nina is training to be a nurse.’
Nina laughed. ‘Like people need to know that, Mum.’ She spoke with a soft Scottish accent.
‘Well, some people do,’ protested Janet.
‘We met earlier, didn’t we?’ Suzie said to Nina as she shook their hands.
‘This is my sister, Helen,’ said Nina.
‘Pleased to meet you.’
‘It’s lovely to meet you at long last, I’ve often wondered what you were all like,’ said Helen brightly, which struck Suzie as an odd thing to say.
‘So, drinks then,’ said Sam. ‘What’s everyone having?
Helen laughed. ‘We were thinking champagne, weren’t we, Mum? After all, it’s a real night to remember.’
‘I don’t know, I’m not sure if—’ Janet began, sounding slightly embarrassed.
Sam smiled
. ‘Don’t you worry, I’m sure we’ve got some tucked away somewhere.’
At which point Liz came over, hand in hand with a tall good-looking man. ‘Hi, there you all are – you okay?’ she asked, glancing from face to face, her gaze finally settling on her mum. Obviously there must be something in the air if even Liz picked up on it, thought Suzie.
Rose laughed. ‘What is it with everyone? I’m fine. Really.’ She looked at the man with Liz and smiled. ‘Hello, pleased to meet you. I’m so glad you finally turned up. Liz has been looking for you all night, you must be Mr Right.’
‘Max,’ said the man, leaning in close to kiss her on both cheeks. ‘And you must be Liz’s mum.’
‘Call me Rose,’ she said with a big smile.
‘My pleasure,’ said Max.
‘We’ve heard a lot about you.’
Max laughed. ‘Really?’ he said, throwing a sideways glance at Liz, who blushed crimson.
But there was something else. Suzie could feel it bubbling just below the surface. Noticing the little look that passed between Janet and Rose, she couldn’t help herself.
‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘What is going on?’
‘Nothing, not really . . . well, not at all.’ Rose smiled nervously. ‘There is something we need to talk about and there’s really no easy way to explain all this,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘I just wish we had said something to you years ago.’
Janet nodded. ‘You really should have said something, Rose, you really should have.’
Rose sighed testily. ‘Hindsight’s all very well, Janet, but it’s not helping me now, is it? Suzie, Liz – Helen and Nina are your sisters. Well, your half-sisters anyway.’
‘And they’re twins,’ said Janet, in case they hadn’t caught it the first time.
As Suzie stared at the two of them, the first thought that came into her head was, no wonder they look so familiar. It was as if her brain had taken a second or two to catch on and realise exactly what Rose had said. Then it felt as if every thought she had ever had was blown out of her head, leaving a great empty void. A second later, the thoughts crashed back in like a tidal wave to fill it up. Questions clamoured for answers, stray thoughts careered round like stray bullets, so many that she had no idea where to begin or what to say.
Instead she simply stared at the three of them.
Nina was the one who spoke first. ‘I know it must be a bit of a shock for you. We weren’t sure if you knew or what you knew or what exactly you’d been told about us, so that’s why I wanted to talk to you earlier – you know, kind of feel the way.’
‘How long have you known about Liz and me?’ Suzie stammered.
The two women looked at each other. ‘Well, we’ve always known,’ said Nina. ‘Since we were little.’
Suzie glanced at Liz. Her mouth had fallen open and she looked like someone had just punched her.
‘I can’t deal with this,’ Liz stammered, holding up her hands in shock. ‘First of all I find out that my parents aren’t married and now this? Have you any idea what the papers are going to make of it all? They’ll have a field day. They’ll rip us to shreds.’
Suzie watched the words register on Sam’s face but before he could say anything, Nina smiled and said, ‘We always watch you on TV – don’t we, Helen?’
Liz glared at her. ‘And say what?’
‘Well, that we’re proud of you, obviously,’ said Nina, without a shred of malice. ‘And we are. Really proud.’
‘I don’t understand, how on earth can we have sisters that we don’t know about?’ asked Suzie, looking at Rose. ‘How come you never said anything, Mum?’
‘Keep your voice down,’ snapped Liz. ‘People can hear what you’re saying, you know.’
‘It’s a long story,’ Rose began, looking uncomfortable.
‘It better be a good one,’ said Liz.
‘Why didn’t you tell us, Mum?’ Suzie pressed again.
Rose sighed. ‘We should have. It was a mistake, I know that now, but at the time it seemed so much easier for everyone if we kept it to ourselves.’
Suzie stared at her. ‘But we’re your family, your children. Why didn’t you tell us about Janet and the twins?’
‘We talked about it – me and Rose and Jack,’ Janet said.
Liz glared at her. ‘You obviously did a lot more than talk.’
Rose held up a hand to quieten her. ‘Liz, please, this is not Janet’s fault. It’s not really anybody’s fault – in fact, to be fair, if it’s anyone’s really, it’s mine. When we first got married your dad worked away a lot and before you two were born we always used to travel to places together, and then when I got pregnant with Suzie we decided to move back to Crowbridge. Our families and friends were here and it made sense. Things were okay to begin with, but we were both young and I was a bit fierier back then and we used to argue quite a lot and then make up, and it would all be fine again for a while.’
‘Well, everybody does that,’ said Liz. ‘It hardly explains—’ she glanced at Helen and Nina – ‘how we ended up with a whole family we knew nothing about.’
‘I know,’ countered Rose. ‘I’ll explain if you just let me. When I got pregnant again I was quite poorly and started to feel neglected and trapped all at the same time.’ She sighed. ‘Hormones do peculiar things to your brain. Your dad was away and it felt like I’d been abandoned. The more I needed him to be there, the further away he was. Looking back now, I should have said something – he would have been home like a shot. But I didn’t, in fact, the more he tried to help me, the more distant and snappy I got. I just felt sorry for myself and hard done by and he felt like it was all his fault. Then I had you, Liz, and Suzie was little . . . it was a lot of things combined but I felt dull and tired and neglected and the long and short of it is I asked your dad to leave.’ She smiled grimly. ‘Actually I told him not to come back.’
Liz nodded. ‘So you said before, but you didn’t say anything about – about . . .’ She stared at the two other women. ‘There being more sisters,’ she eventually managed to say.
Rose nodded. ‘I know. When I asked him to leave, your dad had got nowhere to go. So . . .’ She glanced nervously at Janet.
‘So,’ said Janet, taking up the story. ‘Jack rang me up and asked if I knew anyone who’d got a room he could use while he was home. He wanted to see you both and see Rose to try and put things right and he needed somewhere to stay if he was going to do that. We’d all been friends for years,’ she smiled. ‘And I’d always had a bit of a thing for Jack.’
‘So we can see,’ snapped Liz.
Suzie shot her a sharp look, but Janet was oblivious. ‘Anyway I’d just split up with my boyfriend. He was in the RAF. I wanted to settle down and he didn’t – he said we were too young and he had things to do, and a wife and family weren’t really part of the equation. I was devastated. Anyway, I was sharing a house in Ely at the time and there was a spare room. Jack worked away for a lot of the time, so I didn’t think it would change things and to be honest I didn’t think that he’d stay that long. I thought he and your mum would sort it . . . But meanwhile, like I said, he’d be close enough to see you all. And he loved you two so much.’ Janet paused, eyes brightening with tears. ‘And Rose too. We all knew that. He was devastated when she said she wanted him to leave.’
Rose bit her lip. ‘These things happen, and it all seems so long ago now. Like another lifetime.’
‘Anyway,’ said Janet. ‘One night Jack and I started to talk and one thing led to another – we were both lonely, both liked each other, both been dumped by our respective partners, and it just seemed right, like sort of a natural progression really. We’d always got along very well. Although looking back now it was madness, but at the time it just seemed like the right thing to do – like fate.’ Janet laughed and shook her head. ‘We started going out together, first of all just to cheer each other up. Rose wanted a divorce, I hadn’t heard from my boyfriend since he left, and so as soon as Jack’s di
vorce came through we got married.’
‘Just like that?’ said Suzie in a whisper.
Janet nodded. ‘I know it sounds mad now, but looking back on it that is exactly how it seems. I can’t even remember now if he asked me. I mean, we must have talked about it but I don’t remember much about it at all. One minute Jack was on my doorstep with his suitcase, broken-hearted and angry, and the next thing we’re at the registry office. It was totally crazy, but we were both on the rebound, both hurt – probably if I’m honest, both trying to prove a point to the people who’d left us. And there we were, married.’
‘And it took us about a week to realise that we’d both made the most terrible mistake,’ said a male voice behind her.
Suzie turned and looked up to see her dad standing alongside her. Both Janet and Rose smiled at him.
‘Janet and I had always been friends, but marriage – well, it wasn’t right for us. To be honest, I think both of us knew that before the ink was dry on the certificate. I’d been seeing Rose every weekend, and we both regretted splitting up but I didn’t want to let Janet down, even though we both knew it was never going to work. And then one night Janet’s ex, Tony, turned up.’
Janet laughed. ‘God, that was so awful. You wouldn’t believe . . . We’d split up because Tony had said he wasn’t ready to settle down but being apart had made him rethink and realise what he’d thrown away. He came round to see if I’d take him back, and there I was married to one of his best friends. He was stunned. Poor Tony – I’ll never forget the look on his face. He’d turned up at the house with this big bunch of flowers saying he’d made the most terrible mistake, and I said that I had too.’
Jack nodded. ‘When I got home Janet told me about Tony and said they had spent the afternoon talking – that they still loved each other and they both thought that they had a chance together, and that seeing Tony made Janet realise how much she loved him. And we both agreed that we’d just been foolish.’