Believe

by Natalie Gayle

  He looked at me with those puffy dark eyes for a long moment and I resisted the urge to fidget under his perusal. It was a learned behaviour, a tool of the trade and one I’d mastered many years ago.

  “Well my lovely Annie, thank you for coming in today at such short notice.” I smiled and nodded again politely. As if I had any choice. I’d been summonsed and I was smart enough to know it was easier to just comply.

  “What can I do for you, Leo?”

  He clapped his hands together. The ornate rings on both hands caught the light. “And right there is what separates you from other women. You’re direct and to the point. A character trait I find sadly lacking in so many other females.”

  I smiled and nodded. There was nothing to say. When dealing with men like Leo, it was always a good policy to say the least amount possible.

  “I have a little job for you.” He said as he moved a couple of files aside, then opened the remaining one in front of him. His eyes scanned the pages inside the file and I waited for him to continue.

  “Here’s the list of the latest bets I want you to place for tomorrow’s meeting.” He passed the sheet to me and I looked it over. On the page there were a series of horses and the races they were in. Beside it was listed the odds that he wanted and the amounts he wanted placed. A careful and clever woman, who knew what she was about, could often do the on track bookies out of quite a few dollars if she played her cards right. I was all of those things and seasoned at taking the bookies down.

  “Any questions?” he asked after about 30 seconds.

  “It all seems straightforward. Although I might struggle to achieve the odds in race five if the crowd is not big tomorrow. I think the weather forecast was for rain.” I scanned the page some more my mind whirring with the possibilities and probabilities. “I can possibly make it up though on race three. Are you sure you want Seneker in race seven on the nose? His form hasn’t been good.”

  “Definitely. I have a good feeling about that horse.” Leo’s tone was emphatic

  “Your money.”

  “It is, and if we have a good day. You’ll get your ten percent as well.” I nodded. Hopefully, if the gee gees were good to us, I’d make between one and two grand on the day.

  I slid the sheet of paper into my handbag and left it on my lap hoping Leo would want me for nothing further.

  He sat staring at me for a long moment and it was incredibly disconcerting but I remained still.

  “Your ex-husband is in town.” His words were flat, but there was no mistaking the displeasure Leo felt about that. It seemed the feeling was mutual where Marcel was concerned. I didn’t ask how he knew but one thing was for sure—Leo always knew where his competition was and Marcel was certainly that.

  “I had the unfortunate pleasure of his company yesterday afternoon. He approached me in a shopping centre carpark.”

  “What did he want?” Leo asked smoothly.

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t inclined to stay around to chat. I had Isaac with me and a bystander intervened. Marcel took off but I have no doubt he’ll be back.”

  Leo pursed his lips and nodded. “I agree. He’ll be back. He needs you, word on the street is he’s suffered big losses. You were always his lucky charm.”

  I couldn’t help the snort that slipped out. “Lucky charm! For a lucky charm I sure don’t recall being all that lucky.”

  That brought a little smirk to Leo’s face. “I guess you and Marcel have a different recollection of events. His business certainly did better when you were around. I know mine has.”

  It was a compliment and correct. When things had become untenable with Marcel I’d made a quiet call to Leo. Outwardly Marcel and his family were friendly with Leo. But perceptions could be deceiving in these circles. Leaving Marcel had meant I’d had to start over. That wasn’t easy with nothing and a child with special needs.

  The programs and therapy Isaac needed didn’t come cheap. I’d needed far more money than I’d immediately had at my disposal to establish us up here in Queensland.

  With my Maths skills I could be very “lucky” when a game involved odds of any type, but even I couldn’t accumulate the cash quickly enough, particularly without stake money to start with.

  A call to Leo had solved that.

  He helped me get set up where we were now. I was happy living the quiet life with Isaac, but I was still indebted to Leo even though I’d repaid the money I’d borrowed with interest. It was just the way the game worked. Plus “working” for him provided the extra income I needed to survive.

  Personally I despised gambling. In fact, it was right up there with violence for me.

  Dane was right, there were often times that we had to do things we didn’t like or want to make ends meet. Leo had been very good about our arrangement and for that I was thankful although I would always remain wary.

  I knew firsthand how these men worked.

  “Marcel would be doing just fine now if he wasn’t so reckless with his decision making. I guess a steady stream of alcohol and lines of coke will do that to you.” Marcel’s drinking and chemical behaviour had been getting progressively worse the longer I was with him.

  Leo nodded his agreement. “Definitely not the makings of a professional gambler.”

  “Marcel was always more about the flash than the business. It was his father that had the real head for numbers.”

  “Yes very true. Pierre was always an astute gambler.”

  “He was.”

  The memory of that man sent chills down my spine, but Pierre had certainly been the brains in the Beauchamp family.

  “What are you going to do about Marcel?” Leo looked at me directly. “He’s not going to go away on his own.”

  A sigh escaped my chest. On this we both agreed. “No, I’m sure you are correct. Marcel won’t disappear without at least attempting to get what he wants.”

  Leo turned and stared out the window that framed an ornamental garden and a marble fountain. I could see his jaw working as he thought about something. My stomach started to turn and I knew we were at the serious end of today’s discussion.

  Finally, he turned back to me. “I can arrange to have your problem solved.” His words were deliberate and I knew exactly what he was offering.

  “And in return you’d require...?” His mouth curled into a knowing smirk. There was no way I’d accept his offer. The payment was too high. I’d be moving from one sort of devil and on to a different type.

  The silence hung between us. “Think on it my dearest Annie. I’m sure we could make it work.”

  What did I say to that? “No way, no how. Not happening.” That definitely wasn’t the way to address Leo. Instead, I nodded and gave him a noncommittal smile. “Thank you for your offer. I will certainly keep it in mind.”

  He rose from behind his desk and moved around, to pull me into an embrace. His smooth scented face brushed one side of my face, then the other in the European way.

  “Take care my dear Annie, and don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. Arnie will pick you up at 11:00.” He probably meant it genuinely, but I was never sure of the price tag attached to his help and I was all for keeping my now clean ledger that way.

  “I’ll be ready.”

  He nodded and smiled. We both knew another hand in the game of my life had just been dealt. All the cards were yet to be picked up and called. I had no idea if lady luck would shine on me this time. Experience told me she was a fickle bitch and I was far better off on my own.

  Time would tell.

  Good thing figuring the odds and probabilities was my speciality.

  Dane

  Ever since Arianne had raced out of the cafe with her hair on fire, I wondered about what work emergency could cause her to rush out of there so quickly. It would have been easier to understand if it had been a problem with Isaac or even Marcel. For her to have dropped everything like that, she had to feel a strong pull or perhaps she was going to get into a lot of trouble for not
being there.

  Didn’t matter. Not my problem. I’d probably never see her again.

  That was what I told myself as I walked into Onigashima the next day to sort out the details for the grading on Sunday with Xander. Arianne Le Flegg intrigued me. As much as I felt physically attracted to her, I got the distinct feeling there was no room in her life for men or relationships. Particularly guys that were involved with violence. I’d given her my best shot at trying to explain why martial arts weren’t really violent. It was all in your definition of violent.

  I don’t think she bought it.

  “Hey man,” my best friend Xander Todd greeted me as I plopped myself down on the sofa in his office.

  “Hey Xan. What’s going on?” He looked pissed off. Although, that wasn’t unusual when he was sitting behind a desk staring at a computer screen. Computers and Xander really didn’t mix that well. I also wondered if it had anything to do with yesterday.

  Yesterday, he’d finally met the girl who had played around the edges of his mind for a dozen years or more. He’d also asked her to come in last night when her sisters Sophia and Tori trained—she hadn’t. He’d never admit it but I could tell he was disappointed she hadn’t turned up.

  Yeah, Xan probably had the same issues I did.

  Women troubles.

  Only in both cases they weren’t really our women and in my case at least I wasn’t really even sure I wanted Arianne.

  What a crock! I wanted her. Time to start being honest with yourself Dane! I reminded myself.

  Xander brought my attention back. “Just trying to get these figures sorted out for the damned accountant. Why is it I pay that fucker a motza and I seem to do all the work? Do you have these problems?” He grumbled.

  “Sure. I just try to keep my accounts in order as I go to prevent the pile you’ve got there.” I tilted my head at the pile of paper he had sitting in front of him. No way was that going to be fun to sort out in anyone’s twisted fantasies. “You hate that shit so much. I have no idea why you don’t get someone else to do it?”

  He let out a frustrated sigh. “You’re probably right. It is stupid. The business is doing well I could afford it. And I could do without this grief.”

  I nodded, in agreement. I also knew damned well that Xander wasn’t likely to actually do anything about it. He would get busy with what he really loved—training and teaching. It used to be fighting in the cage but since he’d accidentally killed The Cobra in the ring during a title fight—things were different. Xander hadn’t set foot back in the cage.

  “I got an email from Reed before.” My ears pricked up at that. He was the son of our old Sensei Ron. Although older, Reed had trained alongside us when we just started. Then he’d become Xander’s trainer when he’d been professionally fighting. He’d trained me for a few lesser competitions as well.

  “Yeah, I thought he was overseas?”

  Xander shook his head as if to say doh. “That’s why I got an email. He’s still over in Vegas. He’ll be home mid next week and suggested we get together for breakfast Saturday week.”

  That got me thinking. Since Xander wasn’t fighting professionally anymore, Reed had got tied up more in managing fighters and promoting events. He took on the occasional fighter, although I think the death of The Cobra took its toll on him as well.

  Not that Reed would ever come out and say that. Neither of them spoke about what happened in the cage that night. Sometimes I swore I could see the shadows haunting Xander’s eyes.

  Maybe one day he’d talk to me about it.

  “What do you think he wants?” I asked automatically, not really thinking about the question. My mind was a bit scattered at the moment.

  “I’d say he’s cooking up a big fight card and wants me to step back into the cage.” Xander’s eyes were on the screen but I could tell from over here they weren’t focused on the numbers in front of him.

  It wasn’t a new question for Xander. Reed regularly asked it of him.

  “Your answer still the same?”

  Xander’s eyes stayed glued to the screen as he made a few mouse clicks. “Yep.”

  I wasn’t surprised. Lately I’d been wondering…maybe I should have a go? I was still young enough. I’d been in plenty of fights and won more than my fair share. It just hadn’t been at the pro ranks.

  I essentially had the same skill set as Xander. The bit I was missing was, fight hardened, and there was only one way to get that. That was to get in the cage and do it after a solid preparation.

  Before I could really think it through, my mouth was open and flapping, “Well if you’re not going to do it, then maybe I’ll sign up.” I ended the comment with a laugh. Many a true thought and feeling were said in jest.

  I didn’t just come out and state it, because I wanted to judge his reaction first. Besides, it was just an idea at this stage. I didn’t know if I was ready for Xan to know if I was for real or not.

  Regardless the comment was enough to get Xander’s eyes off his screen and put a screwed up frown on his face of disbelief.

  “What? You don’t fight pro.”

  His words stung. I know he didn’t mean it that way—they stung none the less. What’s more he was right.

  I didn’t fight pro.

  “Are you saying you don’t think I can do it?”

  He shrugged. “Your skills are good enough. We both know that. They’d need to be honed but that’s part and parcel of a prep. But mate you’ve got to be prepared to do the seriously hard yards. Pro preps are a killer. Far tougher than the fight. It’s weeks of being in a living hell. Then when you finally get to the ring—you’ve got to want that win more than anything. Not another thought can go through your head but getting that win.”

  I nodded, none of this was news to me.

  “Besides you’re joking right?” Xander confirmed.

  I shrugged nonchalantly with a chuckle. “Yeah. Of course! Sometimes I wonder, you know.”

  He looked sceptical and shook his head. “What are you talking about? Besides you know this stuff. Even considering a fight, until you know categorically why you want to step into that cage, is stupidity. If you don’t know the reason why, then everything about the prep and the fight will be half arsed. Fighting in the pros is more about the mental game than anything else. Sure you need the skills and the fitness yada, yada but you need to be mentally tough enough to go the distance with the preparation and the actual fight. That’s the real challenge. You have to believe you can do it.”

  Right there was one of the drawbacks of having a best friend that was a sensation when you were only really good.

  Even though we were as close as brothers and supposed to be equals in every aspect, it wasn’t really true. When it came to martial arts which was such a huge part of both of our lives, Xander was head and shoulders above me, at least when it came to fighting in the cage. He was a proven fighter at the highest level and had the unbeaten professional record to verify it. I was just the really handy Club Fighter.

  Hey, in fairness, to Xander he didn’t even think I was serious. I posed it as a joke. Two mates chewing the fat and being stupid.

  Xander wasn’t lording it over me intentionally. That wasn’t the way he operated or worked. What he’d said were just the cold hard facts. He was actually looking out for me and we both knew it.

  But why did it feel like a hit to the gut? Why did it make me feel the lesser in this deal?

  It wasn’t a difficult question for me to answer.

  I felt like I did, because it’d been easier to believe that okay and where I’d got to in life so far, was all I was capable of.

  Mediocrity versus stellar.

  In many ways, it probably would have been better to have tried and failed than to feel this empty hollow I was feeling now.

  Stellar was there but I’d never reached for it. It was easier to believe that ordinary and normal were good enough.

  Then why did it increasingly feel as if ordinary and normal weren
’t enough anymore in anything I did?

  Chapter 4

  Arianne

  “No! No! No!” I yelled and slammed my palm into the steering wheel. The engine had just died in my car—right up there with every woman’s worst nightmare. I managed to coast to the shoulder of the road and pull up.

  Fortunately, there was a decent shoulder where I was on the highway. At least that was something. I pressed the button on the dash for the hazard lights. Chances are they wouldn’t work. Everything else on the dashboard had gone dark, so logic told me it was some sort of electrical problem.

  I placed a call to the roadside service provider I subscribed to and settled in to wait. Based on my current predicament, my afternoon plans were a bust. There were still a couple of hours before I had to pick up Isaac and take him over to his chess club. It hadn’t really mattered, but this afternoon was one of the few afternoons I’d had any free time. I’d really wanted to go to the library, then a few local bookstores and check out the kid books which focused on Maths.

  From what I thought or suspected, there was a hole in the market in this area and it was right in my wheelhouse so to speak. Regardless, it would have to wait.

  It was times like these, that I realised just how alone I was. We may have moved from Melbourne to escape Marcel, and after last week’s incident I had cause to doubt the merits of that plan, but we’d also moved from any support system we’d had.

  There was no family. Not that I had any of my own except Isaac, and I hadn’t really made any friends. Leo was the closest thing to a friend I had, and that was both an alarming and pitiful thought.

  Before too much longer the tow truck turned up and the driver got my car up on the back in about five minutes flat.

  “Where do you want me to take it?” the driver asked me after I’d managed to climb up into the high cabin of the dual cab truck. My first thought was Isaac would have enjoyed the ride in the truck.

  “The garage over on Railway Street. I’ve had it serviced there before.”

  “Sure thing,” he said and pulled out into the traffic.