Believe

by Natalie Gayle

  I began to rise, but Cathy pulled me back down. “Sit down, Ari. You’re not going anywhere. Yeah, I’m disappointed in you and yes I’m upset at the situation, but I can fully understand why you’ve done what you’ve done. You had a child to protect and support.”

  We sat there for a few seconds eyeing each other. Finally, Cathy spoke, “Do you love our son?”

  There was no hesitation. I nodded. “I do so much—but I don’t want to drag him into all my baggage. He deserves better, someone that isn’t tainted with a crazy ex-husband, a special needs child and career that dances the line of legal.”

  Gary spoke this time. “It doesn’t matter what you think he deserves, girl. It’s what he’s chosen. He chose you and Isaac. Whatever you have between you is obviously more important to him than the obstacles you’ve just rattled off. Do you know why we’re disappointed in you, Arianne? Actually, that’s not the right word; is it Cathy? I think the problem is Arianne, you just don’t know any better.”

  I was confused. What was he getting at? “You’re right. She doesn’t understand, Gary. It’s not something she’s familiar with.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Ari honey, I’m guessing from what you’ve told us about your past you haven’t had much of an example of how a real loving relationship works. So let me explain it a bit to you. It’s a partnership. You don’t keep score. You work, you love, you contribute and you give without ever keeping a tally or thinking you have to pay back. A couple works as a team through everything, because they want to. I can tell you right now, Dane would have paid those bills and thought nothing more of it. He would have done it because that’s what you do when you’re in a committed, sharing relationship. You do whatever you need to do to look after the unit. He was able to contribute funds. He did. There would have been nothing more to it. That’s the bit you need to learn, honey. When you’re a couple at least with our boy and our family, you’re never alone. We work as a team. Isn’t that right, Gary?”

  “Sure is Cookie.”

  I didn’t know whether I felt better or worse. “It’s so different to anything I know…I’m sorry I screwed up. I didn’t mean to hurt you both or Dane. You’ve been so kind and gracious to me and Isaac, and I’ve been nothing but trouble.”

  “We know you didn’t mean to hurt us or Dane. You just need to trust and believe that the family unit will be here for you without strings attached. That’ll take a bit of time. Doesn’t mean we’ll love you less. We all screw up, Ari. Families also forgive lapses you know?” Gary grinned at me.

  “I haven’t told Dane yet,” I whispered.

  “Oh, he’ll be pissed all right and you need to let him have that. But he’ll come round. And if he doesn’t, then he’s not the man we raised him to be,” Gary said confidently.

  We spoke for a few more minutes, before Cathy took charge. “Right, I think it’s time we all went to bed.”

  I rose and gathered my bag. “Thank you both so much for understanding. It’s more than I deserve and certainly not at all what I expected. I just hope I haven’t screwed up things too badly with Dane.”

  “It will all be fine. Now you can take Macey’s room. I’ve put Isaac in Dane’s room. He likes to be in there.” I could certainly understand that. There was no way I could intrude further.

  “Really Cathy that’s very kind but…”

  “No arguments. You’ve had a horrible day. Dane’s not here to look after you, therefore we step in. Now off to bed with you.” She practically shooed me down the hall to Macey’s room.

  For the first time in what seemed like forever I actually felt hopeful—things made sense, seemed simpler. There was light at the end of the tunnel.

  Before I went to sleep though there was one text message I needed to send.

  I don’t know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to put it here and hope for the best. I got busted at the Casino today. I’ve been banned for 6 mths and threatened with arrest if I return. I’m at your mum and dad’s place, sleeping in Macey’s room. We had a long chat and they’ve set me straight on some stuff, I was obviously missing. I hope you can forgive me. I know I’ve let you down.

  Love you XX

  Message sent, I let sleep take me.

  Tomorrow was another day.

  Hopefully better than today, although there were no guarantees.

  Chapter 24

  Dane

  Yesterday had been insane. It was like living in a mad house. Xander had made it through the weigh-in easy, but then there was the press conference. I’d never seen anything like it.

  I could not believe how low that fucker Luke O’Donnell could sink. His attack on Eden’s burn scars was just the lowest and most cowardly thing I’d ever seen. How Xander managed to sit on the same stage and not rip the fucker to pieces, was beyond me. Then he’d gone on his own social media offensive to combat the trolls.

  If this was what professional fighting was all about, then I was having severe second thoughts. No way was I confident about subjecting Arianne or Isaac to this bullshit.

  Now, I was finally back in my room and Australia would be waking up. I could deal with the text message that had been haunting me for the last six hours.

  She’d been busted!

  I’d just known it was going to happen and it pissed me off and hurt me so bad all at once.

  I checked my watch and figured the time. It’d be just after six am at home. Arianne would hopefully, still be asleep. I sent dad a text message. He was always an early riser. Hopefully, mum would still be in bed, too.

  This was one of those man-to-man conversations.

  As I expected, I got an answer thirty seconds later, so I dialled his number. Texts were okay for little messages, but dad preferred to talk. This was definitely a talk type of topic.

  “Morning Son, or I guess it’s night for you. I always get it mixed up.”

  “Hey, Dad. No lunchtime. I hear you’ve got a couple of houseguests.”

  A little chuckle came through. “You could say that. You speak to her?”

  “Not yet. She sent me a text with the basics before she went to bed, but I’d still been asleep when she sent it. We’ve had a bit of shit going on here. How bad is it?”

  There was a moment of silence. “It’s not good—could be a lot worse though. She’s had a hell of a scare I’d say. She’s very remorseful. A woman shouldn’t have to go through what she’s gone through, Dane.”

  “I agree. She didn’t need to go gambling either Dad. I left everything paid and a credit card there for her.”

  “I know you did, mate. She told us. She also told us the reason she was gambling was to pay you back and give herself a nest egg.”

  “Fuck! I warned her this would happen.” I was pissed but also disappointed that she hadn’t accepted my help.

  “I know, but sometimes people have to learn the hard way. You’ve got to remember that she’s lived in a very different world to you. Her family, or whatever they were, are shits from what she said.”

  “I wouldn’t call them family,” I growled. “They’ve done nothing, but basically treat her like a business asset, from what I can tell.”

  “That seems to be a pretty apt description. When are you going to talk to her about it?”

  “I’m not sure. If it’s not in the next couple of hours, we’ll be at the arena for Xan’s fight. I really don’t want to be having this conversation there.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  “Fighting fit. Made the weight easy.” I wasn’t about to go into all the social media bullshit. I didn’t have the energy right at that moment. Besides, I had more to worry about than that. Xander seemed to have his problems firmly under control.

  I couldn’t say the same, unfortunately.

  “That’s great. And how are you going?”

  “I’m okay. I’d rather be home with this crap happening. That wasn’t the way things turned out…I’ve got some other news, Dad.” I hadn’t told Ari yet,
but I wanted to see what Dad thought.

  “Reed spoke to me earlier, the promoter lost his challenger for the feature fight. They’ve asked me to step up. It’s middle weight so I’m going to have to drop another nine kegs.”

  “Jesus! What did you tell them?”

  “I said I’d do it.”

  “Are you sure that’s smart? Nine kegs. You’re not being used here, are you, Son? I don’t need to remind you that you’ve not fought professional before.”

  I let out a sigh. Dad was right and I’d had similar thoughts. “I can only trust Reed, Dad. He assured me I was up to it and it was all legitimate.”

  “Well, if he says so. Reed’s about the best in the business. Always done right by you boys.”

  “I can’t say I’m excited about having to drop the weight, Dad. That’s going to be insane, but the purse is awesome. Three hundred grand to show up and a million for the win.”

  Dad let out a low whistle. “That’s a hell of a payday, Son—money isn’t everything.”

  “I know Dad—I can do this. I have to do this.”

  “I getcha boy. You will. I think you’ve finally found something you consider worth fighting for.”

  My dad might be a grease monkey, but he was also a truly insightful guy. “You’re right. I do.”

  “Well, don’t be too hard on her when you finally speak to her. She’s had enough people beating on her throughout her life. It’s about time a few looked after her.”

  “Yeah, I agree. Thanks Dad, I’d best try and get a few things done.”

  “You do that, Son and don’t worry. Your mother and I have things covered here.” We said our goodbyes and I put the phone back down on the bedside table.

  I went down to lunch knowing I was a lucky guy.

  Arianne

  I woke around nine and was surprised how well I’d slept. After a leisurely breakfast, Isaac and I headed home. It might be a weekend; however, there was a lot to do. Washing, cleaning, shopping were just a few things that came to mind.

  Isaac was busy working on an assignment for history. Not surprisingly, he’d chosen dinosaurs. They were definitely historical, no doubt about that. While he did that, I put the vacuum over and changed the sheets on my bed and Isaac’s. Then I went into the spare room and stripped the bed that Dane had sort of been using.

  The sheets smelt of him and I couldn’t resist rubbing them on my face. They smelt of the mix of his cologne, and the faint trace of washing soap. A big part of me was loath to wash them—what if he chose to dump me after what happened?

  The fading smell of him on these sheets might be one of the only physical reminders of him ever being here—being mine.

  I pushed that thought from my mind and pulled the sheets from the bed. Gary and Cathy had been adamant that everything would be all right. They’d told me that last night and then reassured me once again this morning before we’d left. More than once, they’d asked me to trust them. I only hoped they were right.

  After, I had my third load of washing on and I was looking for something else to do to take my mind off worrying. He’d contact me when he got the chance.

  Think positively, Arianne, I told myself for about the four hundredth time. I was just putting the last things back into the pantry after cleaning it as well, when my phone finally beeped with a text message from Dane.

  Hey Ari, when can you talk?

  Oh my God. What did he mean? Was that the When can you talk? I’m going to break up with you tone, or was it just When can you talk? I had no idea and that terrified me in all kinds of ways.

  A minute later, I finally mustered the courage to text back Now. I really hoped his parents were right.

  Sorry, I can’t right now. I’m heading to the arena, fights in a couple of hours. Will call you between 8 and 9. Miss you

  My belly churned. Why couldn’t he just text me or something. I was dying here.

  Just text me!

  Less than five seconds later, I had my answer.

  I’m not doing this via text.

  Oh fuck! That was bad.

  This was him calling quits on us surely.

  I took a deep breath to try to counteract the heat that surrounded my throat and the tears that were pricking my eyes. I had no one to blame but myself.

  He warned me and still I did it.

  The rest of the day seemed to drag so badly.

  This is what it must feel like to be a prisoner on death row, counting down the hours to the inevitable. I realised something else in those hours while I was waiting.

  I knew that I loved him before but now, when the reality of losing him was so real, it changed everything. Now I needed him with an intensity that was terrifying. The thought of going on without him terrified me to the very core, but a glimpse of the pain that would come if it were over devastated me.

  I’d taken Isaac to the local indoor pool that afternoon and let him swim till his heart was content. He loved to swim and nothing wore him out more. If tonight was going to be a tearfest for me, then I wanted to do it in private.

  We had a quiet dinner of hotdogs, one of Isaac’s favourites and he went to bed willingly; his eyelids drooped noticeably at the table during dinner. Then I turned on the television quietly and began to wait.

  Eight became quarter past, then half past. I grabbed my iPad and started scrolling. Understanding hit me.

  Xander’s fight was everywhere.

  Video trailers, social media comments, blog posts, memes.

  It was totally unbelievable.

  This was Dane’s world, too.

  I saw picture after picture of Xander, Xander and Dane. Xander, Dane and a couple of other men who I assumed must have been Seth and Reed. Then I saw pictures of Xander kissing a tall blonde woman tenderly. That had to be Eden.

  The more I read, the more I started to understand. There’d been some crazy smear campaign going on about Eden. Xander had come out strongly against this—defending her. It was a three-ring circus. The media scrutiny and interest was insane. Every social media outlet had Eden and Xander’s story trending.

  My stomach fell. Was that what life with Dane would be like as well? He said he wasn’t as big as Xander, but for how long?

  Dane was incredibly handsome and there was no mistaking the comments from girls on social media posts, wanting to know more about him.

  How could I compete with that?

  Maybe it would be all for the best to end it now? There was no way I would hold him when the spotlight shone directly on him.

  The FaceTime icon started to buzz and I almost dropped the iPad in shock; I’d been so caught up in everything. In the shock, I pressed the button without really thinking further. A second later, Dane’s face appeared. The first thing I noticed was he looked tired, but happy.

  “Hey, Ari.”

  “Hi, yourself. So Xander won?”

  “Yeah, he kicked arse and took names. Took him until the third round to do it, but the result was still the same. Did you catch it?”

  “I haven’t seen the whole thing, just snippets on videos. It looked really brutal.” I’d purposely skipped a lot of it and focused on the words. Somehow reading about the fight didn’t seem quite as disturbing as watching it. I wondered right then how Eden had managed to do it—sit there and watch the man you loved step into that horrid cage.

  “It always looks worse than it is. It was a tough fight, until Xander pulled his head out of his arse and remembered just how fucking phenomenal he is.” Dane’s voice told me just how pumped he still was from the fight. He might be tired, but he was still riding the high of his friend’s win. I wondered how he’d be in a few weeks when it was his turn to step into the cage and if I’d be ringside when it happened.

  His voice pulled me back from the thoughts. “What happened yesterday, Ari?”

  There was no beating around the bush, just a full on frontal onslaught. That was Dane.

  “I screwed up…I got busted…” I couldn’t help my voice trailing off any
more than I could help the tears that were now rolling down my checks. This was it. This was me admitting my stupidity and whatever it would bring.

  “You did. Tell me what happened?” His voice sounded pinched and demanding all at once.

  “You’re just going to get even more pissed at me…” I sobbed.

  “Probably, but we can’t get past it till we go through it,” he said quietly and all I could see was the pain in his eyes. That just kind of set me off more.

  “Fuck,” I heard him mutter. “Ari—listen to me. Stop crying and tell me what happened. It kills me that I can’t hold you right now. Why the fuck am I half a world away?” His words gave me a flicker of hope.

  “Maybe we should just wait till you get home.”

  “We’re doing this now. When I get home I’m going to want to be buried in you so deep for hours. I do not want to be talking about this.”

  What? Did I hear him right?

  “You’re not breaking up with me?” I asked in a voice that sounded small and timid.

  “No. Why? I’m bloody annoyed that you got yourself into such a shit position, but I can’t fix that. I only ask you don’t do it again. Now tell me what the hell happened.”

  “Oh you can rest assured I won’t be doing it again. My gambling days are well and truly done and here’s why…” I took the next ten minutes and explained it all to him.

  “They didn’t hurt you?” I could see the concern in his eyes.

  “No, they didn’t. The guy from the casino was a jerk and gave me the willies. He kept looking at me like I was a meal, but the cops were a lot nicer than they had to be.”

  “I’ll call Mark as soon as I get back and see where the police are at with all this.”

  “You don’t have to. It was very clear. Stay the hell out of the casinos or be arrested.”