At the Heart of It

by Tawna Fenske

  He stood up too quickly, banging his knee on the table. “If we’re just about done here, I should probably run,” he said. “I’ve got some stuff to do at the store.”

  “I understand.” Viv smiled, but didn’t stand. Just sat there, looking up at him with fond familiarity, like she knew exactly what he was thinking. He used to love that look. Loved the idea of someone peering into his brain and liking what she saw.

  Now it just unnerved him.

  “Thanks for brainstorming things with me,” Viv said. “I’m glad we’re able to work together again like this.”

  “Yeah.” Jonah cleared his throat. “Me, too. Good seeing you, Viv.”

  He turned away, not sure whose lies were the boldest. Hers or his. She had to hate this as much as he did, right?

  He felt Viv watching as he carried his mug to the bus tub and set it inside. Pushing the door open, he refused to turn back and make eye contact. They’d said their goodbyes. There was no point dragging it out.

  Jonah walked fast with the muffin in one hand, desperate to put some distance between himself and his ex-wife. It was already growing dark, but he didn’t head back to the shelter. Not yet, anyway. He needed some fresh air and a chance to get a little space from the conversation.

  He slowed down, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Viv hadn’t followed. There was no sign of her, so Jonah pulled his phone out of his pocket. A twinge of guilt pinched his chest as he scrolled down to find the number for Kate. But there was no reason to feel guilty, dammit. He had plenty of professional reasons to call the producer of the show he worked on, didn’t he?

  Even so, Jonah found himself crossing to the other side of the street, turning a corner to take him the opposite direction of the animal shelter. He hit the button for Kate’s number, annoyed at himself for the way his pulse kicked up.

  “Hello?”

  Her voice sent a rush of adrenaline through him, but he ignored it and put on his best professional-guy voice. “Hey, Kate. It’s Jonah. I was hoping to talk to you about this whole arced story line thing.”

  “Oh. Right. Yes, of course.”

  She sounded distracted. Muffled. And was that trance music pounding in the background?

  Jonah took a bite of his muffin and chewed, trying to make out the din of conversation in the background on Kate’s end. “Did I catch you at a bad time? It sounds like you’re in a bar or something.”

  “Uh, I am,” she said. “I think. I guess it’s sort of like a bar.”

  Her voice definitely sounded odd. And what the hell was “sort of like a bar,” anyway? It was probably none of his business.

  “Should I try you back another time?”

  “No! I, uh—I want to talk to you.”

  A peal of laughter sounded in the background, then something that sounded like a muffled moan.

  “Are you okay, Kate?” he asked. “You sound a little weird.”

  “Maybe. I’m, uh—at a swingers club.”

  Jonah inhaled a muffin crumb. He stopped walking and coughed, trying to get his breath back.

  “A swingers club?” he wheezed.

  “It’s where couples go when they want to swap partners for sexual—”

  “I know what a swingers club is,” he said. “I’m just wondering why you’re in one.”

  “Location scouting,” she said. “For the couple we’re considering for episode eight. They’ve been talking about trying an open marriage, so Amy and I wanted to check this place out.”

  “You’re there with Amy?”

  “I was.” The music kicked up a notch louder, and Jonah heard somebody cheering. “Amy got an emergency call and had to leave, so I’m here—”

  “Wait, you’re alone? In a swingers club?”

  “Yes. Yeah. Um, yes.”

  Jonah wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. “Do you want company?”

  “Oh dear God, yes.”

  The eagerness in her voice sent a thrill through him. He took a deep breath, pretty sure what he was about to say was not his smartest course of action.

  “I’ll be right there.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Kate took a sip of her vodka soda and tried not to make eye contact with anyone. Not the woman strutting past in a purple corset and fishnet leggings. Not the guy in latex pants and a red denim vest dotted with metal studs. Not the leather-clad octogenarians Kate felt fairly certain used to play in her grandmother’s bridge club.

  “Ma’am? Are you looking for someone?”

  Kate’s pulse kicked up, and she turned to watch Jonah slide onto the barstool beside her. She’d never been so glad to see anyone in her entire life.

  “Jonah! Thank God you’re here. I was hoping they wouldn’t give you any trouble at the door.”

  “That was a first for me.” He grinned. “Having my name on a guest list at a members-only sex club.”

  Something about that grin dissolved the tension in her shoulders, and Kate began to relax. “Thanks so much for coming. I didn’t want to leave without getting a feel for the place, but—”

  “You didn’t want anyone getting to feel you?”

  “Exactly.”

  “Quite the crowd they have here.”

  She watched as Jonah studied the scene, hands clasped on the bar in front of him. Kate followed his gaze, watching as it skimmed over the dance floor, then up to the second level, where a row of people leaned over the balcony with drinks in hand. She wondered what he thought of all this.

  Lights throbbed in time to the music, bathing the room in a glow of pink light and perfume. A disco ball swirled overhead, casting glittery rainbow spots on a dance floor packed with writhing bodies. Some were dancing and some were . . . um, that definitely wasn’t dancing.

  “I had no idea this was even legal,” Kate admitted.

  Jonah glanced at her, then followed the direction of her gaze to a couple undressing each other in the corner.

  “Huh,” Jonah said. “They’re really going for it, aren’t they?”

  She nodded. “I guess I thought the sex part would be more discreet. When the owner gave me a tour, she showed me all the playrooms. Some have doors that lock and curtains you can close.”

  “Or leave open, I assume?” Jonah shrugged. “I’m guessing a place like this is the perfect spot for exhibitionists and voyeurs to get together and turn each other on.”

  “I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

  Jonah laughed. “I’m guessing neither of us had given much thought to sex clubs before this.” He raised one eyebrow as a woman at the other end of the bar began playfully spanking a woman wearing nothing but a red bra-and-panty set. “Can’t say I even knew this place existed.”

  “I find that tremendously comforting,” Kate said. “That you’re not a regular part of the swinger scene.”

  “My most memorable swinging experience was on a porch in Ashland with you.” He grinned and leaned closer, making Kate’s heart skitter in her chest. “That’s probably not scandalous enough to be part of an arced story line, huh?”

  “I take it you’ve talked with Viv.” Kate felt her smile start to wobble, but she held it steady.

  “Yep.”

  He said nothing else as he made an unsuccessful attempt to signal the bartender. The guy was focused on lining up a large tray of beers for a man wearing leather chaps and a dog collar. “Viv seemed pretty focused on wanting one of us to get back out on the dating scene,” he said.

  “This probably wasn’t what Viv had in mind for the dating scene.”

  “Probably not.”

  Kate’s gaze landed on two topless women groping each other in the corner while their male partners watched. Startled, she looked back at Jonah.

  “Maybe we should keep our eyes on each other for now,” she said. “Some of this can’t be unseen.”

  He laughed. “Good idea.”

  “Let me buy you a drink. It’s the least I can do since you came down here to rescue me.”

  “I’d definitel
y feel better if I had something to do with my hands.” He winced. “Besides the obvious.”

  Kate gave a nervous laugh and caught the bartender’s eye. He gave her a just-a-minute signal, so she turned back to Jonah. “What can I get you?”

  She watched as he leaned across the bar, squinting in the dim light of the club. “Looks like they’ve got Boneyard on draft.”

  “Is that the name of a cocktail, or was that slang for a sex act?”

  “It’s a beer. Made by Boneyard Brewery. They make the best IPA known to man.” The bartender approached, and Jonah looked up at him. “Pint of RPM, please.”

  “Can you put it on my tab?” Kate added.

  “Sure thing.”

  Kate watched the guy pour the beer and wondered if she should spend some time Googling the brewing industry. She had no idea what RPM or IPA stood for, but she was curious. The beer she’d sampled at Jonah’s had been a pleasant surprise, and she wanted to try more.

  She spun her glass of vodka soda on the counter and looked around again. Two women and a man linked hands and disappeared through a doorway Kate knew led to one of the playrooms. Her mind filled with images of what might happen next. Touching and kissing and undressing. Writhing bodies, skin slick with sweat as breath came faster. The sound of gasps and moans and—

  “How would you even film in a place like this?”

  She looked back at Jonah to see he had his beer already. He was watching her over the rim as he took a long sip.

  She swallowed and hoped like hell he couldn’t read minds. “We’d have to do some tricky things with lights, but—”

  “No, I meant legally. Surely they’re not going to let you run around with a camera crew in a swingers lounge.”

  “Oh, that. I’ve already talked with the owner. If we go ahead with it, she’d open the club during off-hours and invite members to show up if they want to be on camera. They’d all sign waivers, of course.”

  “You think enough people would do it?”

  “It’s like you said about the voyeur thing,” Kate said. “If enough people like being watched, we’d have no trouble.”

  “Anything for five minutes of fame.”

  Jonah took another sip of his beer, then set it down on the bar. “Damn, that’s good. Seriously the best IPA on the planet.”

  She bit her lip. “May I try a sip?”

  “Be my guest.”

  He nudged the glass in front of her, and Kate picked it up. She sniffed it first, trying to remember what Jonah had told her about olfactory senses and beer tasting. “It smells like pine-tree sap,” she said. “And citrus. Lemons, maybe. Or tangerines.”

  “I know they use Citra hops in there, so that makes sense.”

  She took a cautious sip. “Wow.” She tried a bigger swallow. “That’s really good. It’s—I can’t think of the right word.”

  “Hoppy,” he said. “IPAs are known for having a high hop content, and this is one of the hoppiest. I’m actually a little surprised you like it. IPA isn’t usually a good starter beer for people who aren’t used to it.”

  “I love it. Actually, I might like to have my own.” She caught the server’s eye and signaled her for another, nudging her vodka soda aside.

  She took the frosty pint from the bartender and folded her hands around it. “Thank you,” she said. “This is good enough to actually drink.”

  “As opposed to what?”

  “Holding it like a prop, which is mostly what I was doing before,” she said. “I might have to grab some food from the buffet so this doesn’t go straight to my head.”

  “There’s a buffet?”

  Kate nodded toward the hallway that led toward an area the owner had described as the Group Playroom. “It’s down there,” she said. “Apparently the buffet is the only place in the club where you’re not allowed to have sex.”

  “There go my plans for the night.”

  Kate grinned, though something about the gravel in his voice made her skin tingle pleasantly. She couldn’t keep her brain from picturing what Jonah might look like pushing aside the fruit platter, then reaching for his belt buckle and—

  “I hear the food’s pretty good!” she said with a little too much enthusiasm. “They switch to breakfast at midnight.”

  Jonah looked at her oddly and took a sip of his beer. “I guess people work up an appetite fucking each other senseless.”

  “I guess so.” Kate took a deep breath and tried to focus on the job she was here to do. “The film editors will have their work cut out for them if we end up shooting here.”

  “How do you mean?”

  “All this nudity means a lot of editing. A lot of black boxes to add.”

  “You really think they’d want to shoot here?”

  “It’s perfect for the sort of salacious footage viewers love. Something a little taboo, a little forbidden—”

  She stopped talking and took a sip of beer, hoping Jonah didn’t read too much into her words. Surely that’s what was happening here, right? She wanted him so badly because he was off-limits. It was as simple as that.

  Glancing over, she saw his mossy amber eyes fixed on two couples headed up the spiral staircase in the corner. They reached the first landing and kept going, headed for the third level.

  “The orgy bed is on the third floor,” Kate said. “In case you were wondering.”

  “I wasn’t, but thanks.” Jonah sipped his beer and shook his head. “Holy shit. I feel like I’m getting an education here.”

  “You and me both.”

  He grinned and set his glass down, studying her with an intensity that made her skin hum again. “You know the Five Things exercise you had me do with Viv on set?”

  Kate swallowed hard, wishing it didn’t bother her that he’d brought up his ex. “It’s a great exercise.”

  “Right. Well, this is one of the five things I really admire about you,” he said.

  Kate laughed, surprised by the turn in conversation. “That I drag you out to swingers clubs to spend time creepily staring at strangers?”

  Jonah smiled and spun his glass on the bar. “I meant that you’re so open-minded. That you go out of your way to experience new things.”

  “If you’re talking about orgies, I don’t think that’s on my bucket list.”

  “I meant the beer, but good to know.”

  “Right.” Kate grinned and sipped her beer. “Trying new things usually pays off for me. At least half the time, I end up discovering something I love.”

  A heavyset man with tattooed arms the size of tree trunks skidded to a halt in front of them and looked at Kate. “If you want to try new things, there’s a frog chair up on the second floor. I could grab my wife and my girlfriend and the five of us could—”

  “Actually, we’re just here observing for now,” Kate interrupted.

  “For now,” Jonah agreed. “But the second you see my wife heading for the sex swing over there, that’s your signal to join us.”

  The man grinned and gave them both a conspiratorial wink. “Got it. We’ll see you around.”

  As the guy walked away, Kate leaned closer to Jonah. “You’re a whack job, you know that?”

  “Hey, you’re the one who wanted to observe a swingers club,” he pointed out. “What better way to observe than to play along?”

  “In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not exactly dressed like I belong here.”

  Jonah’s eyes skimmed over her body, and Kate reminded herself she’d just invited him to do it. It’s not like he was checking her out. He was just critiquing her choice of the fitted boat-neck dress with a zipper that ran all the way from knee to neck.

  “I’ve never seen you wear white,” he said. “It looks good on you.”

  “Thanks. It’s Amy’s dress, actually. She said it would glow under the black lights.”

  “Amy has good taste. You should probably unzip it a little if you want to fit in.”

  Kate started to laugh. He was kidding, after all. But some
thing about his words made her feel bold. Like she wanted to surprise him.

  She lifted her hand and caught the zipper pull between her thumb and forefinger. Jonah’s eyes widened as she tugged it, exposing a few inches of skin between her breasts. “Thanks for the tip.”

  Jonah’s throat moved as he swallowed. “Thank you.”

  Their gazes stayed locked for a moment, and Kate focused on breathing in and out. Jonah broke eye contact first, but he didn’t look away from her. He let his gaze travel down her body, slow like a caress. Kate shivered, watching as his eyes lifted to her cleavage and stayed there for a few beats.

  Then he picked up his beer and took a sip, muttering something that sounded like “Christ on a motherfucking cracker.”

  She wasn’t sure why, but it sounded like a compliment. Kate picked up her own beer and sipped it. “So what were the other four things?”

  He looked back at her, startled, and Kate hurried to explain.

  “You said there were five things you admired about me. I was curious about the other four.”

  She held her breath, hoping that didn’t sound desperate. Hoping she sounded like a bold, confident woman instead of one who’d spent way too much time reading self-help books and practicing ways to infuse her voice with the perfect pitch of casual nonchalance.

  “Let’s see,” Jonah said. “You’re smart. Not just book smart or look-at-me-and-my-vast-collection-of-abstract-expressionist-art smart. You’re intellectual, but you’re also clever. Good at thinking on your feet. I kept noticing that today during filming. Everyone kept hitting you up with technical problems or gripes about the timing, and you always seemed to find a solution to everything.”

  Kate felt her chest swell, which was dangerous, considering the position of the zipper. She took a swallow of beer to keep from grinning like a big, dumb idiot.

  “Thank you,” she said. “I love my job.”

  “It shows.” Jonah spun his beer on the counter and studied her again. He wasn’t looking at her cleavage this time. He seemed to be taking in the whole package, a thought that thrilled Kate.

  “Item number three: you’re tenacious,” he said. “You don’t take no for an answer, whether it’s from me or Viv or the TV people. Someone puts up a wall, you find a way over it, under it, or around it.”