A Rough Kind of Magic

by Louise James

  ‘’I’ll tell her tonight son. It must be done, it’s not fair. God help me.’

  “Thank you.” murmured Greg, “I can’t do it.’ John brushed tears from his eyes and hurried to unlock the door for his wife.

  His parents were horrified at the state of the farmhouse agreeing with Greg about the amount of work and money to put it right although John was unable to voice his real opinion. He was however fascinated by the machinery in the shed while Sally fell in love with the wild garden. They nostalgically remembered John’s parents and remembered friends, reliving John’s childhood when all the tumbledown cottages down the lane housed big families. Sally loved it all and it seemed to the two sad men that she had never been so happy and bright, their hearts growing heavier as they realised it may be the last time that she would laugh and joke so freely. Later that afternoon they explored the little market town of Abergavenny, reliving their courtship when there had been two cinemas in the town besides four fish and chip shops and about seven or eight pubs. It hadn’t changed a lot but they were relieved to find the poorer area had disappeared and been taken over by a large car park, they found the Post Office now re located in a tree lined avenue surrounded with big beds of spring bulbs. They went for tea in The Appleyard tearooms to discuss the farm in detail. His mother couldn’t believe Greg would want to buy it in the state it was in although she agreed the Greg and Ray would have a lot of fun doing it up in their holidays except it could be rather a long way to come for short breaks.

  Greg sadly waved them off promising to phone later, he would keep them in touch with any developments; after they had driven off, he remembered that he hadn’t told them about the witch and her impression on him, he’d intended to but somehow the time had never been right so he’d remained silent.

  His mobile rang at ten o’clock. Greg was just going to bed after a nightcap at the bar. He hadn’t been able to give his mind to the chat around him as he was worried about his parents. He couldn’t ring them as he didn’t know when his father would have spoken. At ten his mobile rang, his father’s voice barely recognisable “Your mother has collapsed and the doctor’s with her now but she is asking for you, are you able to come, Greg?”

  “Tell her I’m on my way. See you soon. Stay tight.’

  There were murmurs of sympathy from the bar as he paid his bill barely stopping to explain that his mother was ill, within minutes he had cleared the town and was on the Heads of the valley road. Mercifully the roads were clear and he made good time. He barely registered the journey or remembered his thoughts. His father came to meet him as he quietly let himself into his parent’s house, leading him immediately upstairs where his mother lay in a drugged sleep, the doctor had sedated her fairly heavily and it would be morning before she awoke.

  “She took it far worse than even I anticipated Greg. She just wouldn’t believe me at first, accused me of making it up for some strange reason. Then she called me all the names under the sun for keeping it from her, demanding to see the doctor who had told you such stuff then she screamed pulling her hair out. I just didn’t know what to do when suddenly she fainted.” His eyes filled with tears. “I rang the doctor and he came straight round. I don’t know how she will be tomorrow’

  “Is the he coming back?” Greg asked. “I feel ashamed that I left you to tell her I should have been here.’

  “Perhaps it was a good job you weren’t, she didn’t know what she was doing but I am glad you’re here now. Perhaps between us we can help her handle the situation but I don’t know what you are going to do; she won’t let you go from here now.”

  “I may be able to talk to her about that.” replied Greg, somewhat doubtfully. “If only we can keep her calm. I’m going up to sit with her for a while. You get some sleep Dad. I’ll manage on the chair upstairs for a while I’ll call you if she should wake.”

  John ran his fingers through his sparse grey hair. “The doctor said he would come if we need him, he wants to talk to you tomorrow anyway. He could explain things better to her than we can too.”

  Later when John took over from Greg at Sally’s bedside; Greg made his way to his old room but knew that he wouldn’t sleep. He paced the floor and looked through the window at the lights in the valley below. All those tiny lights each in different boxes where people lived, loved, were born and died. Behind each tiny glow a million mighty emotions were being experienced, love fear, hatred, laughter, anger, remorse, all re-enacted over and over again in ever repeating patterns. A person died and a child was born, a couple made love, a child was conceived. Anger spilled into hate, relationships ended or just began with new hopes, plans and ideals. ‘What a complex world.’ He thought. ‘to think that it’s happening all over the world makes me feel very small and insignificant, yet it is to each as it is in this house, the whole world within four walls’.

  Greg began to realise that he wasn’t alone in his troubles others were suffering in different ways and each needed some kind of faith to be able to carry on. His father had faith in God and Greg now suddenly felt that religion, grown up with and casually taught in churches was not as random as it had always appeared to him. He suddenly remembered words he had heard many times and paid no heed to. ‘if you only have faith like a grain of mustard seed’ and again ‘Except ye become as a little child’. It had all seemed meaningless but he realised with new insight how easy it really was. Faith took away pain and fear like placing your hand in an outstretched one that folded around yours warm and safe. Greg in the early hours of dawn was comforted, much of his fear left him and a new kind of strength was born. The morning found him asleep with a smile on his lips and recent lines of strain eased from his face.

  Greg woke with a start and lay for a moment remembering the feelings of hope which had eased his mind the night before. His face clouded as he thought of the pain this day would bring to his mother but felt better equipped to help her than he had been before. He showered and changed his clothes before making a cup of tea for his father who was asleep in the chair. Sally was beginning to stir, moaning softly as she surfaced from the deep drug induced sleep; rousing, slipping in and out of consciousness, Sally finally awoke as Greg put his arms around her, tears of pity in his eyes.

  “Greg” she screamed his name. “Darling, tell me it’s not true, I’ve had a dreadful, dreadful dream.”

  Greg knelt beside the bed drawing her into his arms and rocking her gently. “I am sorry Sweetheart; it is true but not yet, not for a while. I have things to do and I need both your strengths to help me.”

  “I can’t bear it.” His mother sobbed. “We must get more specialists we will sell the house, pay anything.”

  “No Mother you won’t. No one can do any more than they are doing and there is no one to tell us any different. I have had all the tests and Mr Mcloughlin is one of the country’s top men. I have known there was something wrong for a while and it is better to know what we must face.”

  “Why? Why should it be you, young fit and strong? We need you. You have a whole life in front of you, a whole life Greg.”

  “I know but if a donor is found I stand a chance if not then my time is up, we have to accept that, and father does now.” He glanced at the chair where his father exhausted slept on”

  “Don’t talk to me about your father.” Sally’s voice rose hysterically. “he never told me, he deceived me letting me believe everything was alright. All that day out at the farm, talk about believing in make belief.”

  “Mother stop, listen to me. It’s not his fault, I’m the coward here. I’m the one who couldn’t handle it and asked him to wait a while until I knew what was happening. He’s suffering too. He had to adjust to what I told him and learn to accept it. He couldn’t tell you until he could handle himself. How could he?

  I’m the one who should have come and talked to you, helped you both but I couldn’t.”

  Here Greg’s voice broke and putting his h
ead down in his mother’s arms, he cried. Sally gathered him close comforting him she found some comfort of her own. She still felt resentment towards her husband but couldn’t find it in her heart to blame Greg, looking back at the time he spent with them, she was amazed at the strength he must have had to handle himself and talk as if nothing was wrong.

  John waking found them both relatively calm. “I’m sorry, Sally.” He stumbled over to the bed. “I tried to act for the best, forgive me but I found it hard to hurt you so much. I knew you had to face it and I could not go on any longer.”

  Sally put up her arm and drew him close so that she held them both tightly to her. “I am finding it hard to forgive you but now I know. What are we going to do?” Her voice breaking they clung together in grief and despair.

  After a while Greg gently detached himself. “let me tell you what I want to do, I am going to buy Graig-y-dorth. I shall ring in with an offer this morning.

  Sally pulled herself together. “No Greg no, I will not allow it. You must stay here where you will be looked after. You are not shutting yourself up there in that coal-shed of a place. You shall have the best care that money can buy right here until a donor is found. That is final.” She lay back on her pillows.

  “Hold on Sally.” John was struggling for composure. “I agree that is what we would want but Greg is not a child anymore. He knows what he wants to do and he must do it. This may be all the time he has left but it is his not ours. It is Greg’s and if it’s all he has he must enjoy it”

  This brought on such a paroxysm of weeping that John reached for the phone but Greg put out his hand. “Let her be Dad, we can’t keep drugging her, leave it for a while and we will talk to the doctor later and get some sleeping pills for tonight. He turned to his mother.

  “Look Mum, I’m still here. Mr Mcloughlin’s favourite saying is ‘Where there is life, there is hope, miracles still happen. Please don’t condemn me yet. Help me to face what is coming in a positive way. I would love you to look after me if the time comes but I am not an invalid yet. I want to work at something that will go on after me and show that I lived for some purpose. I don’t know what yet and I may not have much time to do it in. I have a strong feeling that it is something to do with Graig-y-dorth so I am going to try to buy it. Don’t even know how I am going to do that yet but I am certainly going to try—

  His father interrupted. “We have some money put by if that will help you –-“

  “No thanks Dad, I told you before, I want to do it my way. I’m going back to sell my flat and a lot of the furniture. If I should need help I will come to you I promise. Mum I need you to be the brave smiling girl you always were. You can mend my clothes and fill my freezer any time that you come to see me and make everything as normal as possible for as long as possible. Please both of you try to understand.” His father gripped his shoulders “We do lad, we do

  It was late afternoon before Greg was on his way home. He had put his offer in at the estate agents, now he had to do his homework. He had shares in the oil company, some of them would have to be sold but some of them he must keep back until his operation. It could be sometime until he could work again. He put a call through to his broker who urged him not to sell at the moment as shares were rising. Greg told him to sell half immediately and notify him as soon as the money was through. ………still doing his calculations he estimated that he had more than three quarters of what he needed. How in the world could he raise the rest in the time? It had to be cash in the circumstances, no time for loans. He would sell the flat of course but how long would that take? There was some furniture which would fetch very little and with no income he could very soon be in trouble. He had no intention of taking his parents savings, that was out of the question. The problem of raising the rest of the money gave him a sleepless night.

  Next morning he rang two estate agents to call with the emphasis on urgent, with Graig –y Dorth in mind he set about sorting his possessions even if he lost the house he would have to downsize anyway; if he had to move to his parents he wouldn’t need a lot and he didn’t want to leave them with a load of things to sort if he didn’t make it. This needed a great deal of careful thought. He felt very alone.

  Chapter 6

  Olwen Jameston slammed the door behind her as she made for the stairs. Two minutes later a little red jeep left the carpark with screaming tyres. She drove too fast, her foot almost to the floor, her mouth set thin and grim. It was normally a very pretty mouth wide and generous given to smiles but not today, her large grey eyes blazed with anger and her mass of red hair almost alight with static. She knew she was in no fit state to drive, she shouldn’t be driving but so keen was she to get away from the furious row that she had just had with Aiden Camborn her partner of almost two years that she didn’t care.

  ‘He’s arrogant, egotistical, selfish and stupid.” She screamed at the windscreen as she took a bend too fast wrenching the wheel as the jeep mounted the bank pulling it back onto the road. The drizzle that had started in the afternoon grew heavier and the wipers began slapping against the windscreen matching her mood. This row had been building for some time and tonight was the match that lit the fire.

  “Always digging up something else to do just when I’ve arranged to go to Granny and what else would I be doing on a night like this? He’ll be away to his talks and things or something else and I’m not going to sit in wondering where he is, bored out of my skull. Never ever again will I be doing that.”

  “You’re not going to see your Granny at all.’ He had shouted at her. You’ve some fella down there your after seeing. The old witch is as fit as a flea and doesn’t need your nursing all the time.’

  “I am not nursing her and if I was she is all I’ve got since Mother went away.’

  “She’s a waste of space that one.” Aiden flung his brief case on to the table.

  “Thanks a bunch. It’s sick of you I am, you don’t care about anyone bar yourself and haven’t for a long while, maybe someone else has taken your mind.’

  “You’re talking rubbish as usual.” He scowled kicking a chair out of his way as he made for the shower. Olwen followed him shouting.

  “I’ve told you before; it’s the same argument every time I go to see Granny. I’ve no one else, I’ve always been faithful to you and a waste of time that is.’

  She glared at him; she had never seen him so angry although the row was the same as many they’d had over and over. The feelings of contentment and the idea they were soulmates had begun to falter after their first year together. She knew he would never hurt her. He had never shown any violent tendencies but he became so irate that she dreaded the arguments starting and unless she became subservient to him it was never going to stop. Olwen didn’t do subservient and rebelled all the more. This had gone on long enough, talking didn’t work neither did arguing. Olwen wanted out of the relationship. She hoped that secretly Aiden did too.

  Aiden was a teacher and lecturer of music in the Academy where Olwen was working with art and design advanced studies. His good looks and Irish charm always attracted large classes mainly female. When he and Olwen met the attraction was immediate and passionate. They enjoyed each other’s company so much so within two months Aiden had moved into Olwen’s flat. The first year passed quickly as they explored each other’s bodies and minds finding they were both lovers of sex, art and music. In the second year of their relationship Olwen began to find another side to Aidens character, at first she felt it might be caring and protective but as time went on it revealed him to be jealous and possessive. As long as they did what he wanted to do or went places he wanted to go he was loving and generous but if Olwen wanted something different he could change in an instant usually causing a row in the process. Olwen was unable to convince him there was no one else on her mind and often begged him to come to Graigwen where her granny lived but he wouldn’t go with her after the first couple of times. He didn�
�t like granny and she didn’t like him. He met her mother Anwen once and didn’t like her either although she was flirty and flattering with him. Afterwards she told Olwen he was an ‘idjit’ only good for one thing ;as to what that was she didn’t enlighten her daughter so Olwen went alone to visit, it always caused the inevitable row.

  Aiden wanted to get married. At thirty he’d had relationships that he was completely honest about but they had all come to nothing. Olwen thought this time it might be different; she had been quite ready to accept if he proposed but the longer they lived together the more possessive he had become, now she hoped he would never ask because she was certain it was the last thing she wanted to do. She was sure that if they did marry he would take full control of the relationship but wouldn’t stay faithful for long; he was too attractive to women and knew it. His thick black curls, startlingly blue eyes and lilting Irish charm he laid before every female he met. The girls flocked to his classes to listen and sigh over the exquisite music of his violin and begged that he would sing to them at the end of his lecture. All this had attracted Olwen at first but she soon found that he was a different character behind closed doors. At first she had loved his possession of her but gradually she felt stifled and began to dread him coming home unless they were going out somewhere that he enjoyed or had friends in to flirt and drink with.

  Olwen herself had a fiery temper, hated being manipulated defying him at every opportunity, the time they spent together spoilt with endless wrangling and petty arguments. She knew that she was no longer in love with him; if he bothered to read her note or remembered her final words as she left he would realise it was all over and would be gone by the time she got back. She loved her job and was good at it bringing her students to high standards holding exhibitions where they could sell their work, teaching them to design and display for maximum affect. She sold her work receiving commissions for portraits which were her speciality. She also designed fabrics and involved her class in that too. She planned to develop further ideas but the situation with Aiden held her back. To be fair he had encouraged her at first but later as her popularity grew he began to put her down while exaggerating her talent.