by T. K. Chapin
He jumped up from the bed and hurried across the floor. Stopping me with both hands on my arms, he looked me in the eyes. “Honey . . . don’t let the emotions overtake you. I love you, and we’ll do stuff. This game just means a lot to me.”
I glared at him as I met his eyes.
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead.
“What do you want to eat?” I asked.
“Surprise me.”
A stinging pain scraped across my heart as I left the room. He was selfish enough to stay and watch the game, but not so selfish that he couldn’t address my anger in the moment. Finding myself in a quiet hallway on the other side of the door, I let my tense shoulders relax. I adjusted the shoulder strap of my purse and walked over to the stairs and headed down. As I came to the front door, I heard footsteps coming from the direction of the kitchen. I turned and looked to see who it was.
Serenah walked into the foyer with a load of folded laundry on her hip, but she turned the corner and headed downstairs.
“Hey,” I called out.
“Yeah?” Serenah replied, pausing at the first step on the stairs leading down to the lower level.
“Would you . . . pray with me? You said you were a Christian earlier.”
“Of course I’ll pray with you,” Serenah replied, setting the laundry basket down on the foyer floor. Walking over, she bowed her head and put her hand on my shoulder. Looking up at me, she said, “Anything in particular?”
Letting out a sarcastic laugh, I said, “My life. Sorry if that’s a little forward of me.”
“It’s okay,” she replied. Lowering her head, she prayed. “Dear God. I want to pray for Elizabeth right now. May your hand be upon her life and be with her situation at this moment. May you give her Your comfort that only You can provide. We also want to ask prayer that her time here at the inn is one of discovery and whatever else you want it to be. We love you, Jesus. Amen.”
“Thanks,” I said, raising my eyes as I wiped them. She did not understand what plagued my mind and heart, but her words rang true. Looking at her, I said, “I’m going to Newport. Did you need anything? Milk or something?”
Serenah shook her head and smiled. “No, but thank you for asking.” Without any questions and with no judgment, Serenah returned to her basket of laundry and continued downstairs. Part of me wanted to confide in her about my marriage problems. Between that and the phone call I was waiting for from the doctor, I felt like I had the world on my shoulders. Going back over to the door, I opened it and left.
**
After grabbing a bite to eat, I decided to walk around downtown Newport. With the weather being so nice and my husband being preoccupied, I thought it was best to make use of the beautiful June evening. Peering into windows lining the sidewalk stores, I saw a random assortment. Dresses, shirts, toys, music instruments, and even some antiques sat in one window. A pet store was on the corner of Main Street. Stopping at the window, I saw a dozen or so puppies jumping around. A few were crawling over one another. The little furballs brought a smile to my face.
One of the puppies in the window stood out from the rest. Leaning in to get a closer look, I realized the pup reminded me of our old dog, Bandit. Nathan had picked him up shortly after our wedding and brought him home. He reasoned that we needed to try out raising a dog before we would try raising a child. Everyone knew I couldn’t even keep a plant alive, and I was confident that Nathan was testing the waters by getting the dog. It was sweet of Nathan to protect my feelings that way. What I wouldn’t give to have that back.
“Ma’am?” A little boy asked from beside me at the pet shop’s window.
“Yes?”
“Could I interest you in a pastry? We have berry, orange, strawberry . . .”
Peering over the top of the little boy’s box, I saw a wide-ranging variety, but the problem was that I wasn’t hungry anymore. Glancing at his mother as she stood nearby, our eyes connected and she smiled at me with a familiar exhausted look in her eyes. Poor gal, I thought to myself. “I’d love a berry one. How much are they?”
“Two dollars, ma’am.” The boy adjusted his footing and smiled back at his mom.
Fishing a couple of dollars from my purse, I handed it over to him and took my pastry. “Thank you.”
“Thank you!” he replied and continued on down the sidewalk.
Taking my dessert with me, I went over to a patch of grass that held a little bench not far from the pet store. As I sat down on the bench, I set my purse down and crossed a leg. Peering across the street at a park where a mother was pushing her child on a swing set, I smiled thinking about how unique this little town truly was. Newport wasn’t just a town near Diamond Lake. It was a secluded and peaceful community that was far enough away from a major city like Spokane to keep itself undisturbed by the realities of the world. It wasn’t like Spokane, where you had to make sure there wasn’t a group of homeless people camping out near the swing sets before you took your kids there. No, Newport was special. I could sense it in the air.
**
Arriving back at the inn that evening, I found Nathan dozing. He might have driven me nuts at times, but I still loved him. Setting my purse down on the dresser, I smiled. I thought about how peaceful and sweet he still looked after eighteen years of marriage. His lips did this thing where a bit of air would come out every time he would exhale. Going over to the bed, I set his bag of food down on the night stand and climbed over to his chest. I let my head rest on his shoulder gently, knowing it would wake him.
“Hey . . .” he sleepily said a moment later. He adjusted and sat up in the bed. Rubbing his face over with his hand, he squinted at me.
“Here you go,” I replied, turning and grabbing the bag off the nightstand.
He opened it up and pulled out a burger and fries. “Where’d you get it from?”
“Dixie’s Diner. I ate there earlier and it was good, so I stopped there on the way out of Newport.”
He nodded and said, “Thanks.”
He prepared to eat, and I got up off the bed and went over to the balcony doors. I was about to open the doors and go out when Nathan called out to me.
“Hey. I’m sorry about earlier.” His empty apology did little to soothe my aching heart. Ever since my mistake, he had been a different person.
“If you were sorry, you wouldn’t have done it, Nathaniel.” Opening the doors, I went out onto the balcony for a breath of air. Looking up across the early evening sky, I tried to let the stillness come over me. A dark red danced alongside purples and pinks as the sun made its exit on the day in the distance.
Nathan opened the door and came out.
“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. We can go do something fun. I promise, Elizabeth. I’m really sorry for how I made you feel.”
My eyes dropped from the sky as I went over to the railing, and they fell on Serenah below. I saw her walking with a man in the grass, down by the water. Next to them, not more than a few paces, was a paddle boat. “Let’s go paddle boating.”
“Okay,” Nathan said confidently.
“In the morning,” I said, turning around with a raised brow. I knew he loved sleeping in on his days off, and I didn’t want to spend four hours waiting for him to wake up. He cringed, but I stepped closer and framed his jaw with my hand. “Please?” I asked. Touching was one way I knew I could help motivate my husband to come over to my side. It didn’t work for everything, but it did the trick most of the time.
He grinned. “Tomorrow. Early. We’ll do it.”
I returned his smile. “Thank you.”
He returned inside, and I turned back to the lake. My sights returned to Serenah and the mystery man. They had made their way down the dock on the property and were now sitting side-by-side. Who is that? I wondered. Seeing the man stand up, I leaned a little more on the railing and watched intently. He moved over and positioned himself behind her. I felt awkward watching. Then he wrapped his legs around the sides of her and scooted in close. His
chest pressed against her back as he held her close. Young love . . . I thought wishfully. I thought about how Nathan used to do that when we were dating years ago. If Nathan could just be that way again . . . things could be so different.
Chapter 3
Waking to the smell of eggs and bacon lingering in the air the next day, I let out a yawn and stretched my arms. Refreshed didn’t describe the way I felt that first morning waking up at The Inn at the Lake. Not waking once in the night, I had slept for what felt like a decade. Turning over in the bed, I looked at Nathan. His mouth was gaping open and a line of drool dripped onto his pillow. In my attempt to make the new day delightful, I took my hand and ran my fingers through his hair to wake him.
A grunt came from his lips as he shifted and turned his head away from me. “One more hour,” he said before promptly digging his head under the covers.
Pushing his shoulder, I said, “Can’t you smell those eggs and bacon coming from downstairs? Let’s go eat.”
Silence.
Climbing over his shoulder, I pulled the covers down from his face and reminded him of his words. “You promised.”
Forcing an eye open, he turned and looked up at me. “Okay.”
Jumping up from the bed, I ran into the bathroom. Running a quick brush through my hair to get the mess somewhat under control, I caught my reflection in the mirror. I was smiling. Pausing, I told myself, today’s going to be a good day. I know it. Coming back into the bedroom, my hopes were quickly squashed as Nathan had fallen back asleep.
“Get up, Nathan!” I demanded as I walked to the end of the bed. Pulling up the covers, I tickled one of his feet to get him moving. A reflex knee-jerk caused his leg to flail, and his foot caught my bottom lip, causing me to fall backward. He immediately jumped up and climbed to the edge of the bed to look at me.
“Ouch,” I said as my eyes welled with tears and I brought my fingers to my lip.
Pulling my hand back, I saw there was a little blood. Furrowing my eyebrows, I stood up and headed into the bathroom.
“I’m sorry. It was a reflex,” he said, climbing off the bed and following me into the bathroom. Taking a tissue from the counter, I dabbed my lip.
“It’s fine. Let’s go eat.”
**
After breakfast, we packed a backpack with snacks and water bottles for the trip on the water in the paddle boat. As we were heading down to the shore, we spotted the same guy I saw Serenah with last night coming from the shed down by the lake.
“You a friend of Serenah’s?” I asked as we came down into the yard and met him in the grass.
He smiled and extended a hand. “Something like that. We’re engaged. Name’s Charlie.”
I shook his hand. “I’m Elizabeth, and this is my husband, Nathan.”
He nodded and shook Nathan’s hand. “Serenah said she had a couple check in last night. You two enjoying your time here?”
“Had a delicious breakfast, an amazing night’s sleep, and no children. So yeah, I’d say it’s going pretty well,” Nathan replied with a grin.
“Good.”
Glancing at the sky, Nathan said, “Those clouds aren’t looking too promising, babe.”
My eyes saw the lingering gray clouds above that held traces of darkness in them. “We’ll be okay.”
Charlie said, “Were you thinking the paddle boat or canoe? Because this paddle boat has a hole and won’t be ready for the water until tomorrow.”
“The canoe will be fine,” Nathan said.
“We don’t know how to canoe though,” I said.
“It can’t be hard. We’ll figure it out.”
“All right,” I replied with skepticism in my voice. Tipping over wasn’t appealing, but I wasn’t going to argue with him over it.
“I’d better get to fixing this,” Charlie said.
“Sounds good, Charlie,” Nathan replied. “It was nice meeting you.” Nathan and I walked down the shoreline to the canoe. Nathan went over and started to drag the canoe while I gazed across the lake to the tall standing tree line that separated the bed and breakfast from the property next door. Peering through the trees, I could see a smaller tree standing alone in an opening in the woods. What is that? I wondered as I stepped toward the property line.
“Give me a hand with this,” Nathan said, breaking my concentration.
Going over to the canoe, I helped push it off the yard and into the water. As my feet touched the water, chills ran up my spine and sent a shiver through my body. “Brr,” I said as we both glided the canoe farther into the water.
Nathan took another look at the clouds, but quickly looked back at me. “Little chilly. Sure hope it’s fine.”
“It will be,” I said confidently, but secretly, I was worried about it. Grabbing on the edge of the canoe, I hoisted myself up and in.
“Head to the other end. That’s the front. Try to keep low so it doesn’t tip.”
Nodding, I kept low and moved to the front. Maybe he has been canoeing before? Sounds like he knows what he’s talking about. At the front of the canoe, I set the bag down and sat. Picking up a paddle, I turned and watched Nathan get in. His skeptic eyes glanced up again at the clouds.
“Stop looking at the clouds, Nathan. It’ll be fine.”
“Just don’t want to get stuck out in the middle of the lake in a downpour.”
We paddled out into the lake and made our way farther away from The Inn at the Lake. As we went farther around the lake, we saw a massive house with two docks, jet skis, a boat and an in-ground swimming pool with a slide that wrapped around a deck from the house. “Now that’s a house,” Nathan said from the back of the canoe.
“A bit overkill,” I said over my shoulder to him. “Unless you have lots of friends.” Almost kicking myself for the rude comment, I quickly apologized. “Sorry.” Nathan wasn’t one to have many friends, and he often made it a point to avoid social gatherings of any kind. He found forms of friendship in reading and working on his stamp collection alone in his study at home. His work as an advertising consultant at BBSI often kept him late at the office, which also left little room for friends.
“It’s okay,” he replied. We paddled for another fifteen minutes on the lake and then suddenly, a sprinkle of rain began to fall.
Nathan said, “See.”
Holding out my palm, I said, “It’s barely a sprinkle.” As the words fell from my lips, the clouds opened up and a downpour started. My jaw clenched. Nathan didn’t have to say anything, but that didn’t stop him.
“This is so stupid, Elizabeth. You know, if we just did what I wanted to do, we wouldn’t have issues like this. I’m so sick of doing whatever you want to do.”
Jerking my head around, I stood up in the pouring rain and said, “What I want to do? When we went on a family vacation last year, where did we go? That’s right. We went to Moses Lake to see your parents. Not to Florida to see mine, and not to Yellowstone to just have fun.”
“Sit down, please,” Nathan said, putting his hand out.
“No!” I shouted. Stepping closer, I stuck out a finger and said, “When the Librams wanted us to join them on the road trip to Utah to Moab for the weekend to go four-wheeling, did we go? No! We didn’t go because you didn’t want to be around them. You don’t ever want to be around anyone.” I shook my finger as I took another step toward him.
The canoe rocked and toppled over.
Water rushed around me and I swam to the surface. Frantically looking around in the water, I shouted, “Nathan!” The rain was pouring so hard that it was difficult to see. Pushing my hair out of my face, I jerked my head left and then right. Where is he? My heart pounded.
“Elizabeth!” he shouted as he came around the canoe. “Grab the canoe and shove it over,” he said firmly as he gripped the edge.
I grabbed on. Pushing it over in unison, we were able to flip it right-side up. Swimming over to me, he went under the water and helped me up into the canoe. Turning around, I grabbed his arm and helped him in.
He looked me over intently as his hands held my face. His eyes were full of worry as the rain continued to pour. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied. My heartbeat started to calm, and all I could see was the rain pouring off his face and his hair. “I love you.”
He smiled and sat back in the canoe, letting his body relax against the inner wall as we waited for the rain to settle. “I love you too,” he said gently. Not more than a few minutes more, the rain let up.
As we climbed back to our seats, he said, “You know, Elizabeth. I don’t know why I’m the way I sometimes am with you.”
Nathan talking? What is this? I wondered. It wasn’t a usual side for him to show. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “I just don’t trust you, and oftentimes, I don’t really like you. Really . . . I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
A dagger to the heart. I dipped my chin and stayed quiet.
Nathan shook his head and sighed heavily, looking back over at me. “I want things back the way they were a long time ago. Before all that. You know . . . when I thought you were perfect.”
I remained silent, but my tears screamed. I always wanted him to talk about it, get it all out, but now, I regretted that. Maybe I truly didn’t want to know how he felt. It hurt too much. He worked his way over to me in the canoe. Pulling my chin up with a finger, he looked into my eyes. “I’m still here.”
“But are you really?” I asked gently, my eyes bouncing between both of his.
“What?” he asked, almost surprised. Turning his head toward the way back to the inn, he said, “We should get back to the inn and get into some dry clothes.”
He returned to his seat, and we paddled the rest of the way back to the inn without words between us. Though we had talked, I felt worse than I did before.
Chapter 4
Returning to the inn and getting into dry clothing, Nathan took off to buy a new razor in town and something for lunch for both of us. I had a headache and didn’t want to go anywhere at the moment. Five minutes after he left, the headache coincidentally vanished.