by Susan Wiggs
Callie knew. It had to be JD. Of course it was him. She was grateful to know he was taking care of her to be sure, but frustrated, too. She didn’t want to be treated like some kind of charity case, even though that’s exactly what she was. And whether he liked it or not, JD was Daddy Warbucks. But he didn’t owe her a thing and there was no reason for him to take care of her except that he was a good guy. Well, she didn’t need any freaking hero. She just needed to get the hell out of here.
“Undo me,” she said to the woman, indicating the tubes. “And give me back my clothes. I’m leaving.”
“Before you make any decision, you need to understand your condition.” The woman spoke so calmly it was annoying. She offered a quick, I’m-a-professional smile. “You were brought in because you collapsed. That’s worrisome in and of itself, even more so because of your condition.”
“My condition?” Callie eyed her with suspicion. Her condition was obvious—she was a fat, homeless loser, but staying in the hospital wasn’t going to fix that. “Oh, God…” Her teeth started to chatter. She tried to remember the last time she had her period. “Oh, God,” she said again.
“When was the last time you saw a doctor?”
“What makes you think I’ve ever seen one?” Callie tried to sound tough, uncaring. Never having seen a doctor was a badge of honor, really. Her caseworkers made sure she had a record of immunization, but no one had ever taken her for a checkup or anything.
Dr. Randall’s response was a simple nod. It was kind of a relief that she didn’t act all indignant or selfrighteous. The first family Callie had been placed with had had that reaction. The mother was all like, How dare they neglect this poor child, it’s abuse, I tell you, pure and simple….
“Callie? Can I call you Callie?” The doctor broke in on her thoughts.
She stared up at the ceiling tiles. “So I guess you think I need a doctor now.”
“Depends. We’ll need to do a number of tests.”
“What kind of tests?” She shuddered, wondering if they were going to make her tell who she’d done it with, and how often, and if she’d used protection. Oh, God.
“You’ve had a blood glucose reading of fifty, which confirms a condition known as hypoglycemia. That’s why you’re getting intravenous feedings.”
“Great, thanks.” Callie frowned, too cautious to feel relief just yet. She watched the long, slow drip of the IV apparatus. “I can use the calories.”
The doctor didn’t think that was funny. “What are your eating habits like?”
She looked in disgust at her pudgy hand. “Isn’t that obvious?”
“I need for you to be more specific. Are your eating habits irregular? Have you been skipping meals? Maybe fasting and then eating a lot?”
“Yeah. So?” Didn’t the doctor get it? Callie wondered. Before she moved in with Kate, she’d had little choice about where, when and what to eat. When you didn’t know where your next meal was coming from, you learned to stock up. “Not so much since I’ve been staying with…friends at the lake.”
“But you’ve still been skipping meals, sometimes overeating and fasting.”
“Big deal. It’s not like I’m some weirdo—”
“No one said that. In fact, your eating habits are probably typical of any teenager. However, in your case, it’s led to a dangerous condition.” She scribbled something down on the chart.
Callie felt a dark thrill of fear. “What kind of dangerous condition?”
“You’re going to need a full workup, but preliminary observations indicate insulin resistance. For you, that’s good news and bad news.”
“Give me the bad first.”
“This is likely to develop into type 2 diabetes. Do you know what that is?”
“Kind of. Like you can OD on sugar or something.”
“There’s a lot more to it, but we’ll take it one step at a time. After the tests show what we’re dealing with, you’re going to get a crash course in this disease.”
Disease, thought Callie. I have a disease. It wasn’t bad enough that she was fat. She had to have a disease on top of everything else. “Didn’t you say you had some good news for me?”
“If you manage to get this condition under control and keep it there, you’ll live a long and healthy life.”
“And if I don’t?”
“The health risks of ignoring this are enormous. Trust me, you want to take care of this now. You’ll learn all about it in class.”
“What class?”
“Several, actually. You’ll be joining a support group, a diabetes-awareness group, a lifestyle-management class—”
The idea of classes and support groups made her skin crawl. “Who says?”
“You just heard me say it, didn’t you?”
Callie expected to feel mutinous. Instead, the doctor’s bossiness was weirdly gratifying. No one had ever bothered to lay down the law for her. Still, some devil of impulse compelled her to push back. “So who put you in charge?” she asked.
“No one. I simply took charge. There’s only so much I can do, though. Taking care of your health is going to be up to you. I can’t force you to cooperate. But you owe it to yourself to obtain a full and detailed diagnosis and learn exactly what you’re dealing with.”
“Isn’t there like a shot or something you can give me to make it go away?”
“Insulin resistance doesn’t work like that. The goal is to control this without medication for as long as possible.”
“Excuse me,” Callie snapped. “The goal is to get rid of it.”
“Once we have a diagnosis of diabetes, there’s no cure. It’s a chronic disease that will require lifelong management. But it does go away with weight loss, exercise and diet control.”
“You can’t cure it but I can make it go away?”
“If it turns out to be insulin resistance, you’re at high risk for developing diabetes. But this is a disease you don’t have to develop if you change your life now.” She glanced down at her clipboard. “Here’s a rundown on your condition.” She started explaining things slowly and clearly, showing Callie a brochure with simple diagrams.
Callie tuned the lecture out. Chronic disease. The words stabbed at her like an ice-cold knife—frightening, damaging, numbing. Lifelong management. She refused to let herself cry. Crying had never helped, and it sure as heck wouldn’t now. “And if I don’t see a doctor and do the classes and stuff?” she demanded, interrupting the lecture.
“Then you’re taking your chances. It’s your choice.”
I don’t want any choices. Tell me what to do. I’m just a kid.
“Your friends are outside,” the doctor said. “I know they’re anxious to see you.”
No. She tried to say it but her head nodded against the pillow: Yes.
A few minutes later Kate and JD stood next to her bed. She looked at them both and her heart recognized the emotions emanating from them. She had never felt this before and there was no reason she should be able to identify the sentiment, but there it was. Kate and JD were not here out of duty or guilt or because the state sent them a check every month. They were here out of love and compassion, and the truth of it broke over her like the rising sun.
Once again, Callie told herself not to cry. She repeated the instructions like a mantra in her head: Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. There was no point. Yesterday, she couldn’t help herself when she saw what they’d done for her. A birthday party. A real party, with games and gifts picked out just for her. A celebration, just because she had been born. No wonder she broke down and cried.
You’d think one day of bawling was enough, but now it happened again. Tormented by the kindness and concern on their faces, she lost it even worse than before.
Kate’s arms went around her and she stroked Callie’s hair, and somehow that tender, affectionate touch made things worse. Callie cried because she was scared and her life was a mess, because she didn’t know how to save herself. She cried because she had
made terrible mistakes and there was no way to fix them. She sobbed until she was wrung out like a dishrag that had seen better days. She barely had the strength to look up at Kate. Then when she did, she was shocked to see that Kate was crying, too.
“I’m sorry,” Callie managed to choke out. It hurts, she thought. Love hurts. Can that be right?
“There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
JD offered a box of Kleenex and they both took some and wiped their faces. He seemed remarkably calm. Probably in his other life he saw stuff like this all the time—people falling apart, looking for somebody to lean on, hoping for support from their family, freaking out when they figured out they were on their own. He had a terrible job, Callie thought, struggling to get a grip. And she was so freaking lucky he’d been around when she collapsed last night.
“I wish you’d told me you weren’t feeling well,” Kate said.
“I wanted to say something but I was afraid. And…I guess confused. I knew something wasn’t right, but I didn’t want to complain, or worry you.”
“Oh, honey, that’s what I’m here for.”
Callie felt drained, as though she’d run out of tears. “I’m supposed to get all these tests done. That doctor— Randall—says after a complete workup, I have to do all this other stuff. Classes and tests and checkups.”
“We want to do everything possible to help.” She glanced at JD. “I do, anyway.”
“We both want to help,” he said.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” Callie said. She knew she sounded like an idiot, but it was safe to sound like an idiot around them now, considering everything that happened and all they knew about her. Still, she was terrified. There was one more thing, a major thing, she hadn’t told them. “Both of you.”
Kate touched her hand. “We’re listening.”
She didn’t know where to begin. “Remember that first day we met?” she asked Kate. “After I scared the crap out of you and you invited me to stay?”
“Sure,” Kate said.
“Remember you told me I was safe with you, and I kind of laughed? Well, I wasn’t laughing at you. It was because you had no idea what you were inviting into your house.”
“I certainly did.” Kate smoothed out the woven blanket that covered Callie. “And I don’t regret it for a single second.”
“You can’t be safe from something inside yourself,” Callie said, her voice breaking.
“I don’t understand,” Kate said.
Callie glanced at JD, who looked really patient but not confused, like Kate. Why would he be? Like Dr. Randall, he was in the business, and she now realized she hadn’t fooled him for a single minute.
“Go ahead, sweetie. What is it you wanted to tell us?” Kate gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
Callie nearly choked, trying to bring up the words. “I lied about my age,” she said, her voice shaking. “I won’t blame you if you want me to hit the road.”
She heard Kate catch her breath. “No way,” she said. “What do you mean, you lied?”
Trying to numb herself to feeling, she made herself continue. “I wanted to be on my own and so I lied. Yesterday wasn’t my eighteenth birthday.”
Kate smiled. “We don’t care about getting the day right,” she said.
“No, you don’t understand,” Callie said. “That’s not what I lied about. I’m not eighteen yet.” She stared down at her swollen hands, the absurdly clothespinned fingertips. “I just turned fifteen.”
Twenty-One
Kate phoned Mable Claire Newman to check on Aaron and Bandit and let her and Luke know what was going on. “Diabetes,” Mable Claire said, her voice soft with sympathy. “That poor girl.”
“According to the doctor, she’s luckier than most, because it’s insulin resistance, which isn’t full-blown diabetes.” She paused, knowing Mable Claire would have to be told about Callie’s age. The implications were still unclear, and Kate needed time to study the situation. “We’re going to be here for a while.”
“Say no more. I’ve got Aaron and Bandit for as long as they need to stay. And I’ll explain this to Luke.”
Mable Claire’s grandson was seventeen and had graduated high school. There was more to explain than she thought. When Kate believed Callie was eighteen, his age hadn’t mattered. She’d let Callie go out driving with him, giving her liberties she never would have afforded a fourteen-year-old. This was all getting complicated, and the sleepless night was dragging at her like a riptide.
“You’ll also need to tell him that Callie is just fifteen.”
Mable Claire was quiet for a moment. “Oh, dear.”
Oh, dear was right. They had to shift their thinking from the assumption that Callie was a couple of months older than Luke to a couple of years younger. At their age, the gap was significant. “Long story,” Kate said. “I’ll tell you more when I come to pick up Aaron. Is he awake?” Tired as she was, Kate felt a bittersweet pang of love and fear. She had a powerful urge to see Aaron, to hold him close, to make sure he knew she loved him with every bit of her heart. Callie’s ordeal was a stark reminder of how precious life was—and how tenuous.
“Still sound asleep. When he wakes up, I’ll give him your love.”
When Kate got off the phone, she turned to find JD holding out a cup of coffee. “Bless you,” she said.
He gestured at an upholstered Naugahyde bench. “Have a seat. The exams and testing are going to take time.”
She sank down next to him, feeling at ease in a way she never had before. Last night put everything into perspective. In a crisis, they had come together and now somehow she sensed that everything mattered more. They weren’t just fooling around here and having a summer fling; they were developing a relationship, sharing common concerns and goals. Perhaps even looking toward the future. “Callie was so lucky you knew what to do,” she told him.
“I was in the right place at the right time.”
“And you knew what to do,” she insisted. “That’s a compliment, okay? Don’t knock it.”
He sipped his coffee. “I’m not knocking it.”
She felt heavy with fatigue. There was much to talk about with him, but now was not the time. They needed to focus on helping Callie get better. “I still can’t believe she’s so much younger than she said she was.” She massaged the small of her back, feeling every moment of the sleepless night. “It’s just not something I was looking for, so I didn’t see it.”
JD went to the window, which framed a view of the Straits, the calm water and distant Canadian peaks painted orange by the rising sun. “You never can tell with kids. I’ve seen twelve-year-olds who look like adults, and people in their twenties who could pass for high-school kids.”
“Do you know very much about diabetes?”
“Some symptoms, emergency measures.” He hooked one thumb into his back pocket. His posture was tense.
“What’s going to happen, do you know?”
“Typically, they’ll need to get a fasting glucose level and an oral glucose tolerance test. She’ll need a hemoglobin test and a full workup—body mass, thyroid check, probably a lot of other stuff. The doc is pretty confident they’ll find insulin resistance.”
Kate couldn’t help but be impressed. He wanted to be a doctor, and she hoped he made it. She already knew he’d be a good one. “And insulin resistance is bad.”
“It’s not a death sentence. The objective is to control her blood sugar. There are drugs for that, but if she’s lucky, they’ll try a strict diet and exercise first. She’s got a long road to travel, Kate. For a kid, it’s hard. She has to learn how to self-monitor her blood sugar, regulate her diet and meds if there are any. This is not an easy condition to live with. It takes major self-discipline and control, which teenagers are not noted for.”
“So you knew she wasn’t well,” Kate said.
“Suspected it.” He spoke without looking at her.
“How?”
“There were some symptoms
, nothing definitive. The extra weight and skin problems are associated with this condition, but they’re common to any teenager, too.”
“Did you talk to her about it?”
“She wasn’t ready to talk about it.” He turned to her, his face shadowed by beard stubble, his eyes tired. “I could have told her to see a doctor, but I have no authority over her. Even dragging her to a checkup against her will wouldn’t have done any good. She was at high risk for running away. She still is, maybe more than ever.”
“She’s not running anywhere,” Kate said, her pulse speeding up. “I won’t let her go.” She saw the way he was looking at her. “What?”
“Have you checked to see whether or not that’s up to you?”
“I’m sure it’s not, but I’m involved. I can’t help myself.”
“Do you do this often?” he asked.
“What, get involved in a stranger’s life?” She shook her head. “It should be obvious that I’m new to it.”
“Why should it be obvious?”
“Look at what happened with Callie. I failed her, and last night she nearly died. I’m terrible at getting involved.”
“Kate. You’re beautiful at it.”
His words made her melt. She didn’t dare speak for a moment, certain she’d say too much. The sun crept higher, casting faint fronds of light across the linoleum floor. “That’s what’s weird about this situation. It’s crazy,” she went on. “I usually just go about my business, staying focused on things close to home. But Callie… She means the world to me. And now that I know what lies ahead of her, I want to jump in and take control. I love that girl, JD. I have no idea how it happened or why, but I love her like she’s my own. If anything happens to her, I won’t be able to forgive myself.”
“Damn it, Kate, listen to yourself. You can help her manage the disease, but it’s not up to you to control her.”
“Don’t yell at me.”
“I’m not yelling.” He finished off his coffee and tossed the cup in the trash. “I hate to see you get hurt.”
She leaned back against the wall. “I don’t think there’s any doubt in my mind that I’m going to get hurt, but why should that stop me from letting Callie into my heart?”