by Susan Wiggs
Unexpectedly, he sat back down beside her. To her amazement, he reached out and grabbed her hand, bringing her around to face him. She was startled when he cupped her cheek in his hand, the gesture so kind and affectionate that she forgot to breathe. She felt herself drowning in those warm, kind eyes. “Say something,” she whispered.
“What do you want me to say?”
She let her shoulders slump. “You always do this.”
“Do what?” He kept his hand where it was, tracing his thumb along the rise of her cheekbone.
“See, you’re doing it again.” Though she could have stayed there forever, looking into his eyes, she took his hand away and scooted back from him on the bench. “There’s, um, something that’s been at the back of my mind ever since our conversation last night.” She fumbled for the words. “You know, what you were saying right before Callie collapsed.” Kate lost her nerve and faltered. “You probably don’t even remember the conversation.”
“You mean when I said I was crazy about you and you asked me if I was talking about lust or love.”
She sighed with relief. At least she hadn’t imagined it. “Yes, that. I’m wondering…if you really meant what you said.”
He took her measure with a long, unreadable look. She braced herself for a denial. She had given him the perfect escape hatch. He could say no, he didn’t mean it, he’d been caught up in the heat of the moment, and now that he’d had a chance to think it through, he realized he’d spoken in haste.
“I’m sorry,” she said, overwhelmed by doubts. “I shouldn’t put you on the spot like this. You don’t have to answer me.”
“I don’t mind,” he said, very serious. Somewhere in the hospital, a voice crackled over the PA system. She ignored it, focusing on JD. With a slow, deliberate movement, he took off his glasses. He moved closer to her and put both arms around her. Finally, he leaned over and kissed her, first with a tender touch of his lips, teasing and exploring, and finally deepening with a passionate hunger.
Her heart leaped and her body heated in helpless response. She was putty in this man’s hands. She would become anything for him, do all that he asked of her. She didn’t even care about his answer to her question now.
Even so, she was startled when, after what seemed like a long time, he pulled back, letting go of the kiss by degrees. She nearly moaned aloud with yearning, but forced herself to keep it in. They each pulled back. She saw his Adam’s apple go up and down as he swallowed, but other than that, he showed little reaction.
A faint, cryptic smile, that was all. Then he put his glasses back on and regarded her placidly. She was dying inside, regretting that she’d even brought up the topic. Then, before she could think of something to say, his smile widened. “Yes,” he told her, raising his voice above the crackling sound on the intercom. “I really meant what I said.”
Twenty-Two
As romantic declarations went, Kate reflected the next morning at home, this one was a bit diffuse. Maybe even ambiguous. Which was dangerously close to a lie.
“Come on, Kate,” she muttered to the blank screen of her laptop, “snap out of it. You found someone to date over the summer. What more do you want?”
She knew. The very thought brought an ironic smile to her lips. Idiotic as it was, she wanted the fairy tale. Even now, even after all the disappointments and reality checks, she still harbored that secret inner yearning. She wanted the moon on a satin pillow, the declaration on bended knee, maybe even the small royal blue velvet box with the glitter of a diamond inside.
“Focus,” she said, trying to concentrate on her writing. That was what this summer was supposed to be about. Reinventing herself, forging a new career path. Following a dream she’d had forever. And she was so close. Opportunity dangled in front of her. This was her shot.
Yet try as she might, she couldn’t get the conversation with JD out of her mind. She replayed it over and over, parsing the words as though they were some cryptic verse from an ancient oracle.
I don’t think it does Aaron any harm to see that somebody’s crazy about his mother.
He had said that. She remembered the exact words; they were imprinted on her brain. Was it significant that he had included Aaron in the statement? Could it mean something in and of itself?
“Morning,” said Callie, ambling into the kitchen in her robe and flip-flops.
“How are you?” Kate asked.
“I guess we’ll find out, won’t we?” Callie set up her glucose kit for her morning test. Although she had just started the regimen, she already exhibited a certain weary cynicism about the process. It was painful and tedious. She was going to have to plan every meal and adhere to the testing schedule. She promised she would be diligent about it, but Kate sensed her frustration.
“I’m already sick of being sick,” Callie said, setting up the instruction card that came with the kit. “This got old real fast. Like right away.”
“Do you want some help with that?”
Callie shook her head. “Might as well figure out how to do this on my own.”
“I’m sure you’ll get a lot of pointers in class. According to the pamphlet I read at the hospital, you’re going to learn to achieve glycemic control through exercise and healthy eating.”
“Yeah, great. I’m just dying to get started with that.”
Kate knew the glum attitude was to be expected. “We’ll be leaving in about an hour,” she added. “I’ve got some errands to do while you’re in class.”
Callie glared hatefully at her glucometer. “What errands?”
“Research at the library, for starters. See, here’s what I’m thinking,” Kate said. “I haven’t sold my editor on this idea, but I have a feeling she’ll like it. For my next article, I want to tell your story.”
For a second, surprise and delight lit her face, but she quickly suppressed it and let out a short laugh. “My story. The tale of a fat loser who winds up with an incurable disease. Like someone would want to read about that. It’s the feel-good story of the year.”
“Are you kidding? You’re amazing, Callie, and you’ve got it wrong. You’re not a loser, you’re a survivor. And you’re going to take control and get better. You promised,” Kate reminded her.
Callie nodded glumly. “Yeah, but that’s still not much of a magazine article.”
“That’s my job.”
Callie kept her head down and idly folded the glucometer instructions. “So, would you, like, tell everything?”
“I absolutely won’t write a word if you don’t want me to. And since you’re a minor, I can use an alias for you.”
“Like a fake name.”
“Anything you want. I believe there will be pictures with the article,” she added. “I won’t have anything to do with that, but a magazine of this caliber works with only the best. Would that bother you, being photographed?”
“Hello? By a photographer for Vanity Fair? Move over, Bush twins.” Animation danced in her eyes; then she remembered to act nonchalant again. “I guess I wouldn’t mind.”
“I have one rule, though,” Kate said. “You absolutely, positively, have to tell the truth. That’s what makes your story so compelling, the fact that it’s so real.”
Callie took in a deep breath. “After this, I’ve got nothing to hide.”
“For real?”
“Sure.”
“Can you explain why you lied about your age?” Kate asked gently.
“Why do you think?” Callie tossed her head, narrowed her eyes, the familiar toughness hardening her mouth. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the ideal foster child. I figure the sooner I get out of the system, the better.”
“Better for whom?”
“For me. Jeez.” She narrowed her eyes at Kate. “Does it bother you when someone lies?”
“Well, of course. No one likes being lied to.”
“No, I mean really bothers you, like it makes you hate the person who’s lying.”
“Callie, I
could never hate you.”
A frustrated sigh burst from her. “I’m not talking just about me. I just want to know, is lying unforgivable in your book?”
“Clearly not, since you explained why you lied. It was the wrong thing to do, but we’re going to work on making it right.”
“God, I give up.”
Kate studied her for a moment. She had a weird feeling they were talking about different things. “All right, listen. If we’re really going to do this project together, you’ll have to get used to me asking a lot of questions. Maybe it’s not such a good idea.”
“I said I wanted to do this.”
“Just make sure it’s because you want to. You don’t owe me anything, Callie.”
“I owe you everything, but that’s not why I said okay. I think it’d be cool to have you write about me.”
“I’ll do a good job,” Kate said. “I give you my word.”
“Deal.” Callie nodded. Then she checked the glucometer and then the printed chart. Kate could tell from the expression on her face that the number wasn’t good. “I need to get ready,” Callie said, and headed for her room.
A few minutes later, Aaron came wandering in, trolling the kitchen for food. “Do I have to go into town with you guys today?”
“No,” said Kate. “I’ll just leave you alone here all day.”
“Cool.”
She rolled her eyes. “Of course you’re coming. We’re leaving in an hour, and no lollygagging. I don’t want Callie to be late for her first class.”
“I don’t see why she needs a class,” he said. “She’s sick, not stupid.”
“The class is going to help her learn to take care of herself so she doesn’t get sick.” She handed him a Flintstones vitamin with a glass of water. “The class is important, and she’s not going to miss it.”
“Right.”
So far, Aaron knew the basics: Callie had collapsed because she was insulin resistant, and in order to prevent that from developing into a more serious condition, she had to learn to monitor her blood sugar and change her diet. He had accepted all that just fine, but Kate could sense his fear and uncertainty. “All right, buddy,” she said. “I bet you have bunches of questions.”
“Not bunches, but…some.”
“You should ask me,” she suggested. “I don’t have all the answers but I’ll take a shot at it.”
“How come Callie didn’t tell us she was sick?”
Strike one, thought Kate. No way could she answer that. “Maybe we’ll ask Callie. I suppose it’s because we’re getting to know one another gradually. When you first meet someone, you don’t tell them everything all at once.”
“Like I haven’t told her about me being ambidextrous.”
“Right. It’s no secret. You just haven’t gotten around to it yet.”
“When is she going to get better?” he asked.
Kate smiled. “She’s already better. Our job is to help her stay that way.”
“Why doesn’t she stay with us for good?”
Strike two. The question cut to the heart of Kate’s fears. So long as Callie was under their roof, she could help the girl, but she had no idea how long this would last, given that Callie was still very much a minor. “I don’t know. I just don’t know how that would work.”
“Simple. She should stay with us,” Aaron said. Just like that, no equivocation. And just like that, the suggestion made perfect sense to Kate. “Why did she say she was eighteen when she’s really fifteen?” he asked.
Strike three. “Women always lie about their age,” Kate said lightly, setting a dish of oatmeal in front of him. “I was thinking you’d have different questions about this situation, ones I can actually answer.”
“Like how come she’s not with her own parents and stuff like that.” Aaron rolled his eyes.
“Well, yes. Aren’t you wondering?”
“Nope.” He squirted maple syrup on the oatmeal. “I already know. Her mother’s in jail. She told me that last night when you guys got back from the hospital. Creeps me out. And I’m not wondering where the dad is, so don’t even ask.” He scooped up a bite of cereal.
Kate smiled; he knew exactly how her mind worked. “No?”
He shook his head. “Dads are overrated.”
“Aw, Aaron.” She went over to the table, bent down and kissed his head. She knew he still wished for one, dreamed and fantasized about a father who would take him fishing, teach him to pass a football, give him that one-of-a-kind feeling of security she used to have with her own father. But Aaron would never hurt her feelings by saying so.
What her boy could never know was that his yearning hurt her anyway, every day. There was no sharper pain than the knowledge that she couldn’t give her child the one thing he wished for.
“Hey, Livingston family.” JD knocked on the screen door. Bandit howled a greeting.
“JD.” Aaron shot up from his chair and rushed to let him in.
Kate felt like jumping up to greet him, too, but forced herself to stand still. Even after that moment at the hospital—perhaps especially after that moment—she and JD were still trying to figure out what was going on between them. Now that they’d slept together, they were supposed to be taking their relationship…somewhere. Instead, Callie’s emergency had eclipsed everything.
“You’re just in time to save me,” Aaron said.
JD strode inside. “Save you from what?”
“Diabetes class.” Aaron clutched at his throat and made gagging noises as he reeled sideways.
“Oh, man,” JD held his head and sank into a chair. “Don’t tell me they’re sending you to class. That’s too freaky.”
Aaron nodded with delight. His sense of humor meshed perfectly with JD’s. “Tell me about it.”
“I can’t,” JD said. “Too freaky. Get your sunscreen and water bottle. We’re out of here.”
“Yes!” Aaron punched the air and pounded up the stairs.
Kate tried to look stern. “In some states, this is known as kidnapping.”
“In my book, it’s known as diabetes-class avoidance.”
“So where are you snatching him away to?”
“Mount Storm King. We’re hiking all the way to the top to take pictures.”
There was a sound of running feet overhead as Aaron raced to get ready. She glanced out the window at the gleaming peak. “Think he can make it?”
“He’s got what it takes,” JD said.
Kate turned to him. “This is really nice of you.”
“Don’t look so surprised. I don’t mind hanging out with Aaron.”
Kate knew that taking pictures from the summit of Mount Storm King was not the point of the exercise. It was only an excuse. JD seemed to like Aaron, even apart from Kate. The idea filled her with a warmth so intense that it startled her. “He can be a handful, you know that, right?” She felt compelled to warn him.
“I can handle him.”
I know.
“Kate, I don’t get it,” he said, stepping close to her. His hands came up to cup her shoulders.
She wanted to sink against him, to let him surround her. But that urge only reminded her of how tired she sometimes got of standing on her own. “I’m not used to guys who understand Aaron, who like him, flaws and all.”
“Get used to it,” he murmured, his gaze holding hers. “To a boy like Aaron, the world is always new.”
Kate’s throat ached, and for a moment, she couldn’t speak. He got it. Finally, here was someone who understood and regarded her son with compassionate eyes. Kate was floored by the idea. The whole world saw Aaron as a challenge, a problem. But not JD. She couldn’t believe what a relief it was, to meet someone who saw what she saw in her boy. Finally, she said exactly what was on her mind. “Thank you.”
His hand slipped down her back, a sweet echo of the way he’d touched her when they made love. “You’re still looking at me funny.”
She smiled, knowing her heart was in her eyes. “Guys like
you don’t come along every day.”
“That’s good. I wouldn’t want the competition.”
He leaned closer, and she wanted his kiss more than she wanted the next breath of air. The sound of a door slamming somewhere else in the house broke them apart. Kate stepped back, nervously smoothing her hands down her skirt.
Callie came out, still in her bathrobe. “Morning,” she said, helping herself to a glass of water.
“I hear you’re headed to town today,” JD said.
Kate wouldn’t look at him, though she held that moment between them inside her. This was supposed to be Callie’s day, she reminded herself. “You seem a little nervous, honey,” she said to the girl.
“I’m scared,” she admitted, picking at her breakfast of buttered toast. “I’ve never been good at school. I make terrible grades.”
Kate tried not to panic about Callie’s lack of confidence. There were no grades at stake now. Just her life. “You won’t be graded, but you need to learn some important things,” Kate said. “You might even make a few friends.”
“Sure, that’d be great. A class full of fat losers.” She shook her head in disgust. “Like me.”
Kate went and put her arm around her. “You want some cheese with that whine?”
Callie stiffened. “I changed my mind. Let’s not go. I’ll just read the brochures they gave me.”
“We’re going.”
She backed away. “You can’t make me.”
Kate felt a beat of panic. “Why are you balking? This is to save your life, Callie.”
“It’s bullshit,” she burst out. “I’m not going.”
“You can’t ignore this.”
“Watch me.”
“Callie.” JD’s voice broke in, calm but deeply commanding.
“God, not you, too.” She glared at him. “You can’t make me, either.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.”
Kate was about to object but he silenced her with a slight shake of his head.
“Fine,” Callie’s voice was soft now, tremulous. “I’ll just read that book they sent home with me.”