Wished for You

by KD Robichaux

  “I say we go to the nude beach,” Gavin says, waggling his eyebrows.

  “Nude beach? There is no nude beach. Isn’t that only in Europe or something?” I ask, a little panicked at the prospect of being dragged along to one.

  “Nope, there’s one here called Crystal Beach. You’re not allowed on it unless you’re at least topless,” he tells me.

  I can’t tell if he’s joking or not, so I look to Jason. I’m surprised to find emotion there…I’m not quite sure how to describe it. It looks a little like pissed-off, maybe jealous? So if he’s jealous of Gavin talking about taking me to a nude beach, then that means there really is one, right? The expression quickly disappears as Gavin turns his attention toward him with a mischievous grin on his face. “I’m down for whatever,” Jason says with a shrug.

  I look between the two, back and forth a couple of times before I finally shout, “Hell no! I am not going to a nude beach! First of all, no one is seeing my itty bitty titties. Plus, the only people who go are old people with saggy…parts. Choose something else.”

  Gavin bursts out laughing and confesses there isn’t really a nude beach on the island. I glance at Jason and see his smirk, so that quick glimpse of jealousy I saw before must’ve been over just the simple thought of me going to one, or maybe of Gavin seeing me naked.

  “There’s really nothing on the island I wanted to do. I just knew Kayla had never been on a ferry before, so thought we could take the short trip. We can always just turn around and go straight back,” Jason suggests.

  “Yeah, let’s do that. I’m getting pretty hungry,” Gavin agrees.

  “Oh! Can we go to that Greek place? What is it called? Olympics something.” I hop up and down. “My brother took me there a long time ago, when I was like fifteen. It had the best gyros.”

  “Nah, they tore that place down a while back,” Jason shoots me down. He glances at Gavin over my head, but before I can turn to see the exchange, he continues, “We had a hurricane a couple years ago, and it demolished all that stuff on the seawall.”

  “Oh no! That sucks. I loved that place,” I pout. “I don’t care then. I’m not picky,” I say, leaving it up to them to decide where we go. I’m just along for the ride. I lean against the railing, looking down and watching as a couple of seagulls and a pelican fly along in front of us, occasionally swooping down to grab whatever was swimming near the surface of the water.

  I hear the boys talking, but I don’t strain to hear them over the roar of the ferry’s engine and loud lapping of the water as we slice through it, and soon it’s time to return to the truck. Driving off the ferry, we make a U-turn and get into the short line waiting to board it once again. I’m glad we won’t have to wait another hour just to cross the water back to Galveston. We make it onto the very same ferry, and this time, we go up and sit on one of the benches in the smoking section to pass the eighteen-minute crossing.

  After driving along Seawall Boulevard, we soon pull into a strip mall, and when we park in front of a restaurant, I look up and see Olympia Grille. My head turns abruptly and I look into Jason’s laughing eyes. I use the back of my hand to smack him in the belly, and he doubles over his steering wheel, pretending I knocked the wind out of him. “You guys just love fucking with me, don’t you?” I say with annoyance, but I soon break into a grin as we all get out and enter the Greek restaurant.

  After finishing up all our gyros at the Greek restaurant, we picked up a couple of six-packs, a bottle of vodka, and orange juice from the liquor store on the strip, and then headed here. The three of us are sitting on the balcony of the beach house Jason’s parents rented us for the night. We all put on our bathing suits, but haven’t made it down to the actual beach yet. The bright yellow two-story house on stilts is right on the beach, and occasionally, Gavin will lean over the railing to yell down to scantily clad girls laying out in the late afternoon sun or walking along the water. He’s tried several times to get Jason in on checking out the ‘hot chicks’, but Jason just chuckles and shakes his head, enjoying his beer and cigarettes as he chills out in one of the lounge chairs.

  Jason has been winking at me constantly, making it hard for me not to laugh as he lets me know without speaking that he’s thinking about me in a not-just-friendly way. When Gavin isn’t looking, Jason catches my attention, eyeballs my bikini, then looks up into my eyes with a wicked glint in his before sending me a wink and turning away. It’s the least self-conscious I’ve ever been in a bathing suit before, and it’s all because this man makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.

  I’ve been struggling not to drool ever since he came out of the bathroom wearing his white board shorts and his black wife beater, his naturally tan skin and tattoos calling out to me like a beacon.

  “So are we going swimming, or what?” Gavin says from the railing, wiggling his fingers at a group of girls as they walk past our beach house.

  “I don’t get in the actual water, but I’ll go lay out while you two go in,” I say, lighting up a cigarette of my own and then taking a sip of my Screwdriver Jason made me.

  “What do you mean you don’t get in the actual water?” Gavin asks incredulously.

  “I mean, you see all that wet stuff that keeps getting really close to us before it’s sucked back out? Yeah, I don’t get in that,” I tell him, shaking my head.

  “Well, why not?” He looks confused.

  “I don’t do sea creatures. I don’t do seaweed touching me, and I don’t do sticky water that’ll make me itch after the sand glues to it.” I shudder.

  “Oooookay. Let’s grab our shit and go down there, and you can just chill on a towel or something. You ready,” he aims at Jason.

  “Yeah, sure,” Jason replies, standing and taking hold of the cooler handle next to his lounger.

  I walk over to him and fold up the chair, carrying it under one arm, wrap my beach towel around the back of my neck, put my pack of cigarettes between my teeth, and then grab my drink in my empty hand. I nod at Jason before heading to the wooden steps that lead directly down to the sand. I hear him chuckle as he follows, and I try not to squeal when I feel him pull at my bikini bottoms. He leans down to me and says, “You had a letter in your mailbox.”

  I burst out laughing. My pack of cigarettes launches from my mouth, and I’m pretty sure I would have fallen down the flight of stairs if Jason’s massive arm didn’t wrap around my waist, steadying me before my drink even has time to slosh around in my plastic cup. As fast as his arm appeared, it’s gone, but it leaves behind a searing heat where his skin had touched mine.

  I continue down the stairs, planning on coming back to find my lost smokes, and when I set all my stuff in the sand, I turn around and run right into him. He holds the pack out to me, apparently having picked it up for me. “Do you really not go in the water at all?” he asks quietly.

  “Not at all. The only natural body of water I get in is the lake behind my house back home, and that’s only because the fish are little and the water is so clear I can see them, and because my dad clears out the greenies in the swimming area,” I tell him.

  “Greenies?” He smiles.

  “You know, the slimy plants that are in lakes? Greenies.” I shrug, unfolding the lounge chair.

  He turns and starts toward the water, but not before teasing me over his shoulder, “Yankee.”

  “I’m not a damn Yankee!” I yell after him, and I see him shake his head as he jogs the rest of the way out to where Gavin is wading into the ocean.

  Something cold hits my stomach, making my abs twitch. Before I can even open my eyes from the catnap I was taking while laying out, I’m being lifted into strong arms. But when I do open them, they’re not the arms I love being wrapped in. They belong to the dickhead currently running with me toward the rolling waves of the Gulf Coast. “Gavin! Don’t you fucking dare!” I squirm, trying to escape what I know he’s about to do. It would probably hurt falling from his six-foot-plus height, but it would be the lesser of two e
vils than being thrown into the godforsaken water. I kick and scream, and finally lean toward his chest and bite into the tan skin of his pec, but I’m too late.

  He hollers out in pain as my teeth sink in, but I’m already hovering over the water. When he launches me in the air, all I have time to do is take a deep breath, hold my nose, and clamp my eyes shut before I break the surface, going completely under. I scramble to the surface, instantly going into panic mode when I feel things tickling against my legs.

  My face finally makes it out of the water, and I gasp and cry out at the same time, my heart pounding in my chest as fear and misery wash over me. Some part of me is conscious Gavin is just standing there laughing at me, and as a wave sucks me back under, all I can do is pray he will realize his joke is far from funny and will pull me out. Being the daughter and sister of four sailors, you’d think I’d love the ocean, or at least be good at swimming. Nope. I’m flailing, not able to tell which way is up or down.

  When my lungs start to burn and I feel like I’m literally about to drown, I finally feel arms wrap around my body and tug. I suck in a lungful of breath as soon as I can, clinging for dear life to the person holding me, and as I hear his deep whisper in my ear, I know I’ll be okay and let out a relieved sob. “Shhh, I’ve got you, baby. I’ve got you.” Jason doesn’t even flinch as my claws dig into his flesh. I bury my face in his neck as he carries me out of the water, every inch of me trembling as he walks us to the lounge chair and sits down with me in his lap.

  Everything that’s happened in the last few minutes hits me even stronger than the wave that just took me down, and I suddenly burst into tears. Jason mumbles soothingly to me as he rubs my goose bump-covered skin, running his hands up and down my legs and then in circles on my back. He uses his fingers to wipe the wet tangled hair out of my face, and then leans forward to press his cheek to mine, rocking me like a child. He lulls me into calmness until I’m almost asleep, worn out as the adrenaline leaves my body.

  I hear someone approach, but before they reach us, Jason’s livid growl rumbles in his chest against my ear. “You need to get the fuck away from me right now, motherfucker.”

  “What the fuck, man? It was only a joke. How was I supposed to know she couldn’t swim?” Gavin asks defensively.

  “She told you straight up she never goes in the water, and yet you threw her in against her will. Thank fuck I was coming back from getting more beer, or you would have just stood there fucking laughing while she drowned. You couldn’t see she was panicking?” Jason’s body is tense, as if he’s getting ready to attack, even though I’m still curled up in his lap. I wrap my arms around him more tightly, and I feel his muscles loosen marginally.

  “I thought she was just messing around!” Gavin insists.

  “You need to back the fuck away before I rip your goddamn head off, and I mean right the fuck now,” Jason orders. I’ve never heard him so angry before. I would never want to be on the receiving end of his wrath if just his words and tone can spark such a sense of foreboding.

  “Seriously, dude? She’s fine. What’s your problem?”

  “My problem is you should’ve kept your motherfucking hands to your goddamn self. She’s not some fucking little plaything,” Jason seethes.

  Oh no. Oh no no no no no.

  “What is this really about?” Gavin questions.

  I dig my nails into Jason’s back, trying to get his attention, bring him out of his fury so he won’t blow our cover. I wouldn’t care if Gavin knows Jason and I have been together, but I know Jason will regret blowing up and letting it out this way.

  “I will say this one time, and then I don’t want to see your face for the rest of the night. When someone tells you no, it fucking means no. You don’t make a joke out of it and do what you want anyway, hoping just to ask for forgiveness later. You don’t take advantage of people when they’re vulnerable, forcing them into doing something they don’t want to do when their defenses are low. It’s the fucking principle,” he growls the last part.

  “You and your dumbass principles,” Gavin grumbles not-so-quietly.

  And thar she blows.

  Jason stands abruptly but has the mind to turn around and place me in the lounger gently. When he turns, I see his back flex and he seems to swell with his rage. He prowls up to Gavin, his intensity crackling in the air between and around the two men. “What did you say?” he challenges. “I’m not quite sure I heard you correctly. Can you please repeat the words that just came out of your motherfucking mouth?” His tone is menacing. I haven’t seen this side of Jason. It’s scary, and it’s kind of mind-boggling to think this is the same man who was just cuddling me after rescuing me from the water.

  “Are you really wanting to fight me right now?” Gavin asks incredulously. He lifts his arm and gestures toward me. “Over her?”

  “Did you not hear what I said? No, this isn’t just about her. It’s the fucking principle.” He punctuates the last word with a shove to Gavin’s chest.

  I stand up on shaky legs, ready to jump between them like an idiot, but I don’t have to. Gavin doesn’t engage. He throws up his hands and backs away, apologizing to Jason, and then to me over his massive shoulder. This is not a pussy move. Oh no. For once, I think Gavin has half a brain. It would be absolutely stupid for him to even think about standing up against Jason right now. He looks like it would be physically possible to do exactly what he threatened, ripping Gavin’s head off with his bare hands.

  Jason stands there all puffed up until Gavin enters the beach house, and then he turns, shaking his head as he storms back over to me. He’s coming at me so hard, I take an involuntary step backward, and I know he sees it and it affects him when he looks up into my face with confusion. He halts, stopping a few feet in front of me, and then he slumps. He drags his hand over his scruff-covered face, visibly trying to regain control over himself, and when his eyes meet mine, they are full of remorse.

  “I…I’m sorry you had to see me like that.” He puts his hand out and approaches me like I’m a skittish cat. I’m not afraid of him; just the way he was coming at me before, I didn’t want him to accidently knock me down since I’m standing on legs that belong to a newborn foal. To ease some of his worry, I don’t wait for him to reach me. I eat up the distance between us with one lunge and mold myself to him, rescuing him from his inner turmoil the way he just saved me from the swirling waves.

  His face lands in its favorite spot at the side of my neck, and even though we’re still dripping wet, sticky, and covered in sand, we wrap ourselves around one another like each other’s soft, familiar, warm, and comforting security blanket.

  Kayla’s Chick Rant & Book Blog

  May 13th, 2005

  I just got off the phone with Jason. He’s busy helping his mom organize the attic tonight before she and her hubby leave in the morning for their own weekend in Galveston. When we got back from ours, we told them how great the beach house was they rented for us, so they decided to book it for themselves.

  Speaking of that weekend, after Gavin disappeared inside the rental, he wisely called Adam and had him come pick him up. I felt a little bad that he didn’t get to enjoy the getaway the Robichauxs sent us on to celebrate the end of our semester of school, but at the same time, I was glad to fully enjoy the time alone with Jason. Plus, the asshole nearly drowned me, so serves him right.

  Something happened to us that weekend, something binding. We didn’t do anything for the rest of the time we were there besides cuddle up in the master bedroom’s king-sized four-poster canopy-covered bed, making love several times, only coming out for food, which we’d brought along with us to save money instead of eating out for every meal. I’m so glad we’d done it for another reason though: a very naked Jason for twenty-four hours straight.

  Jason and Gavin made up a few days later, with Gavin making a smartass comment about ‘bros before hos’ that almost got him punched in the face in the middle of the man-hug he was sharing with Jason. That’s w
hen it finally dawned on him there was more between Jason and me than we let on.

  He didn’t seem to care much, not that we explain the extent of our relationship to him. We left him thinking we were just friends with benefits. Technically, I guess that’s what we really are. But it feels like so much more. I feel like we were put on this Earth for each other, and he told me he feels for me something he’s never felt for anyone else before. Combine that to how he said he trusts me more than any girl he’s ever met, and I believe he’s feeling the same things I am. To me, love is what happens when you mix trust, your heart, your soul, and sex. Sure, you can ‘love’ just about anyone, but I’m talking about love love. Like the forever kind and I really think that’s what I have with Jason.

  He told me he has something special planned for me at his house tomorrow and to show up around four. I think I’ll finish reading my Michele Bardsley advance review copy she sent me. Ahhh, the perks of being a book nerd.

  May 14th, 2005

  This is it. I know it. This is when Jason is finally, finally going to make it official. I dance in my driver’s seat the entire drive down to Friendswood so enthusiastically, that by the time I pull into his driveway, I’m breathing heavily and kind of exhausted. My heart pounds I’m so excited, giddy with the possibility of being able to say I’m Jason Robichaux’s girlfriend.

  Hi, I’m Kayla, Jason’s girlfriend.

  Hey, I’m Jason’s girl.

  Oh, nice to meet you, this is my girlfriend Kayla.

  Hey there, let me introduce you to my boyfriend Jason.

  Oh, ya know, just going to hang out with Jason, my boyfriend.

  I feel like I’m in high school again. I want to break out a notebook and practice my signature as Mrs. Kayla Robichaux and draw hearts and flowers around it. I want to turn the page and play MASH, and see how many kids we’ll have, if we’ll live in a mansion, and what car we’ll drive.