Death's Curses

by Becca Fox

  Then they started leaning in.

  Shit. Shit. Shit! I did not want to see this! I leapt behind the wall just before their lips could meet. It turned out I’d panicked for no reason.

  “I’m sorry,” my uncle said abruptly. “I can’t do this. It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  I shuddered. I didn’t want to hear this either. Pulling out my phone, I decided I’d just tell him where I was going via text.

  “I carry their burdens, Nessie. I’ve been charged with their secrets. I’ll never be able to be completely honest with you because of that.”

  My thumbs froze over the keypad. There was only one word for the emotion behind his voice: pain.

  “If it bothers you when I don’t share certain case details with you in order to protect them, how much more will it hurt you when I don’t share pieces of myself for the exact same reason? They’re a huge part of my life; past, present and future. You should be with someone who can share themselves with you wholly.”

  “So you do want to be with me,” Vanessa said, hope making her voice light. “It’s not all in my head.”

  “Th-That’s not the point.”

  It was just like Jazz always said. He’d sacrifice his own happiness if it meant keeping us safe.

  I’d been perfectly fine keeping everyone outside of our weird little family at arm’s length to avoid their questions; it had been easy because I’d been burned before. Plus, I didn’t really like people. Uncle Vic was different. Everyone liked and respected him. I bet he used to have a lot of friends before we came into his life. Where were they now? I’d never given it much thought before, but if he’d been careful not to let Vanessa into his life to protect us, of course he would’ve forced himself to pull back from any past acquaintances. Now that Esmer and I were together, I could imagine just how painful that might’ve been for him.

  And, seeing all of this clearly now, I sort of understood why Jasmine thought removing herself from the picture would’ve been better for everyone. No matter how much our uncle loved us, his life would never really be…complete. Not if he kept having to push away everyone else he loved. But he would keep doing it because he believed it was the right thing to do, no matter how many times Jasmine or I tried to convince him otherwise. The thought filled me with a mixture of anger and guilt.

  I marched away from the wall, toward the desk where I’d left my stuff. I snatched Esmer’s gift and my skateboard, and ran. I didn’t care if my sneakers squeaked against the tile. It didn’t matter if Uncle Victor heard me. I just had to get away.

  ◆◆◆

  Esmer wasn’t waiting for me when I crouched in front of her window. Which was weird. I was sure I’d made enough noise climbing up her drainpipe to let everyone on the block know what I was doing. Scaling that thing one-handed had been a bitch. My fingers had their own pulse and my arm ached.

  The door was bumped open a second later and she came limping in. My heart started thumping real hard when I realized her idea of sleepwear was nothing but an oversized shirt and a pair of really small girl boxers. I took advantage of the fact that she couldn’t see me and just stared for a second. Her face was clean, with no trace of makeup. She’d taken all of her earrings out; only her nose ring remained. Her fiery red hair was spiky, like she’d run careless hands through it after her shower.

  Damn, she was hot. What did she see in me? I shook my head and tapped a knuckle against the window.

  Esmer stumbled back, cursing loudly enough for me to hear her through the glass. Her bug-eyed look was replaced with a relieved smile when she realized it was just me. Dinah must’ve shouted up the stairs, asking her what was wrong, because she turned her head to reply.

  “I just stubbed my toe. Sorry for the scare.” Then she hobbled over as fast as she could and let the crutches drop once she was close enough. Steadying herself against the wall with one hand, she opened the window with the other. “Hey there,” she whispered, grinning widely. “What brings you to my roof this fine evening?”

  I lifted the box. “Made you something.”

  “You’ve got to stop spoiling me like this, Charlie boy.” But she hopped aside and let me in anyway.

  It was significantly warmer in her room than it was outside. I shivered a bit at the change in temperature. It smelled like clean laundry and a hint of chamomile lotion. I breathed deeply, allowing the calming scents to ease my seriously messed up thoughts. Coming here was a good idea.

  I started to explain what was in the box but Esmer gripped my forearm and kissed me before I could say anything. It was clumsy. She was depending on me for balance but she also caught me off guard. We teetered a bit, and would’ve gone sprawling over her carpet if I hadn’t recovered my balance so quickly.

  Esmer gave an awkward chuckle as she pulled away. “That was graceful.”

  I leaned over as far as I could without breaking out of her hold, and deposited the box on her bed. Then I came back to take her waist in both hands. The T-shirt material was thin; I felt her hip bones against my palms. It sent a weird thrill down my back.

  “Can we try that again?” I winced at the shyness even I could hear in my voice. Why couldn’t I sound cool just once?

  Thankfully, Esmer didn’t comment. She laced her fingers behind my neck and leaned in real slow, looking so deeply into my eyes I was sure she read all my secrets there. I couldn’t have felt more exposed if I’d been naked. My gaze dropped down to her mouth because I couldn’t stand the intensity of her gaze anymore. When we locked lips again, it was long and smooth and damn near perfect. The hairs on my arms were standing at attention when she broke the kiss. My heart was throwing itself at my chest, like it couldn’t wait to break free.

  Esmer looked like she was going to say something but I didn’t let her get the words out. I kissed her again, and again, and again, and again, this growing sense of urgency spurring me on until we were both breathless.

  “Hey,” she said, her gaze half-lidded and glassy, like I’d made her drunk. “Take it easy.”

  I stepped back, releasing the vice-like grip I had on her hips. “Sorry.”

  “You okay?”

  I sank onto her mattress and laughed down at my shaking hands. “Not even a little bit.”

  I told her about the masked murderer, the Smiths, Uncle Victor and Vanessa’s conversation. Something about her touch had opened the floodgates. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d talked so much. I admitted everything I was afraid of, everything that could potentially change the way she saw me. But I couldn’t help it. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to talk until then.

  Esmer didn’t say anything, just lowered herself onto the bed beside me and stared at my face.

  “It’s just not fair,” I finished lamely. “I want things to be better for my uncle and Jasmine. And me. I’d do just about anything to break the curse. The Smiths…” I squeezed the bill of my hat between both hands. I could see Angela’s hopeful expression, like we were the answer to her prayers. “The Smiths and Jasmine think there’s a way, but if there isn’t…It could break me, Esmer. It could break me so easily. I wish we’d never met them. I wish this damn case was over already.”

  “Death sucks,” Esmer said by way of summary, “but life isn’t much better.”

  I nodded.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “What can you do?” I said with a shrug. But she’d already listened to my pathetic whining without passing judgment. That alone had done a world of good. I didn’t feel tight anymore, like my clothes were strangling me, like I might snap at any second. It was pretty amazing.

  She sidled up close enough to whisper in my ear, “I can kiss you again.”

  A shiver rippled its way down my body. How could I say no? All I had to do was turn my head, and I was tasting spearmint and lip balm again. I cupped her cheek, pressed harder against her, hoping to communicate what I could never say out loud.

  Thank you, Esmeralda Barnes.
>
  Before I could get carried away again, footsteps approached the door. I dropped to the ground, seeking shelter behind her mattress.

  “Esmeralda, your—” Dinah stopped short. “What was that?”

  “What was what?” Esmer asked.

  The way she widened her eyes and batted her lashes…even while lying flat on my stomach on her carpet, I was getting goose bumps. But then my attention was captivated by her legs. I swallowed hard, wrestling with the urge to run my hands all over them.

  “I thought I heard something fall over,” the old woman said slowly, as if she was looking around the room.

  “I didn’t hear anything.”

  “Why is there a box on your bed?”

  My heart was thumping pretty hard by now and it had nothing to do with the cluster of freckles I’d just spotted on Esmer’s ankle—which was somehow the sexiest thing I’d ever seen.

  “I’m just looking through some old stuff I brought from home.” Esmer tugged on one of the box’s flaps and drew it closer to her. “Feeling nostalgic, I guess.”

  “I see…Well, your mother called. She said you weren’t answering your cell phone. She was concerned.”

  “Oh, it died.” Esmer pointed at the phone, sitting over her bedside table. “I’m charging it.”

  “Very well. I’ll tell her you’ll call her back once it’s charged.” She must’ve stepped back because the door started to creak closed.

  “Thanks, Aunt Dinah.”

  “You’re welcome. Goodnight now.”

  “Night.”

  The door finally closed. I exhaled into the carpet.

  Esmer tapped the top of my backwards ball cap. “Still alive, Charlie boy?”

  “Give me a second to recover from my near-death experience,” I lifted my head to mutter.

  She leaned her elbows against her knees and grinned down at me. After a second or two, I found myself grinning back.

  “You’re adorable.”

  Very slowly, I pushed myself up until our faces were level. “And you’re beautiful.”

  “Ain’t I though?” She gave me a quick peck on the lips before gesturing to the box beside her. “Quit stalling and tell me what you made.”

  “All right.” I popped up onto my feet, only to wrestle my shoes off. Then I peeled my windbreaker off and piled it neatly on the floor.

  Esmer leaned back on the palms of her hands and watched me. There was a sultry, calculating sort of look on her face. It communicated she would be happy to continue watching me remove articles of clothing.

  I frowned. “Quit undressing me with your eyes. I’m not a piece of meat.”

  “Of course you’re not. Sorry.” She ruined the apology by winking conspiratorially.

  I gave up trying to scowl. My heart wasn’t in it. Truth was, my confidence was soaring. She could look at me however she wanted.

  After fishing the ceiling hook out of my pocket, I climbed onto her bed. Working it through the ceiling took a minute or two. She watched me the whole time; I could practically feel her gaze. It didn’t bother me though. I could get used to being desirable to someone.

  Once the hook was in all the way, I crouched down to open the box. “Close your eyes,” I said before I could pull out my creation.

  Esmer faced the window and dutifully covered her eyes with her hands. I got lost in the way her hair grew across the nape of her neck. Like flames licking up a chunk of alabaster. I shook my head. Forced myself to concentrate on the great reveal.

  Once I’d hung it up, I stepped down to the floor to examine it from a distance. I climbed up again to tug on the curtain so it fell at a different angle. I pulled on the threads of music notes and stars. Satisfied, I stepped down again.

  “There. Go ahead and open your eyes.”

  Esmer lowered her hands before twisting around to look at her new bed canopy. I watched her face light up and her mouth form a little O as she drank it all in. The music sheet flowers lined the rim of the wooden hoop, which hung from the ceiling hook thanks to those thick black ribbons. The sheer curtain cascaded down from the hoop, surrounded the headboard, and created a small circle around Esmer’s pillow. A cocoon of privacy. The aluminum music notes and wooden stars ran like tassels along either side of the opening.

  “I thought it would give the room a little character, you know, make it look more like yours and less like Dinah’s,” I murmured because she still hadn’t said anything and I was starting to worry.

  “Charlie,” she said, turning that wonderstruck expression on me. “No one’s ever made nothing for me before, let alone two things. You must’ve worked on this all day. It’s…” Esmer shook her head. “It’s incredible. Thank you.” She held out her hand.

  I squeezed her fingers. She’d done so much for me; she was worthy of more than just my time. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her yet, but maybe I could keep showing her.

  “Glad you like it,” I managed.

  May 30th, 1966

  The last three years have been hard and grueling on my mind. But I am grateful. I feel powerful. Something I have never felt before.

  I have a power to diagnose ailments, to know the proper treatment and to heal a person before they die.

  Dymeka is far better skilled with his hands and enjoys the physical part of healing. He is excellent in many different surgeries but is not as talented at remembering things as I am.

  No surprise: we are a perfect pair. I think, he acts. Together, we have only felt Death twice at our hands. And, because of that, we feel truly powerful. Thwarting Death brings the most wonderful sense of justice.

  But more importantly, I feel the most overwhelming sense of joy to see people whole, lovers whole, families whole by the work of our minds and hands. Dymeka feels confident enough to travel back to Mexico and hopefully redeem ourselves to the people we failed in the past.

  There is still a small part of me that wishes to communicate with Death, but for now I am complete. I am fulfilled.

  Chapter 29

  Esmeralda

  There was something deliciously sweet about the way Charles Campbell kissed me. Like I was a new video game he’d recently discovered and was obsessed with unpacking all its secrets, earning every trophy. But he wasn’t interested in rushing through it. Nope. He was going to take his time.

  Even after I finally got him horizontal, his hands didn’t stray anywhere too inappropriate. I mean, they did slip under my shirt but they just grazed my back, drawing little streaks of fire all over my skin. His wandering fingers moved slowly, deliberately, as if he wanted to memorize the location of every mole and every crease. He was hyper aware of my bad knee. With every shift of our bodies, he broke our kiss to be sure I was still okay.

  I was the one who pulled him on top but he still interrupted our make out sesh to be sure he wasn’t crushing my knee. For a person who claimed not to care about other people, he seemed to care a hell of a lot about me. It made me so stinkin’ happy.

  “I’m fine,” I said with a laugh. “Trust me, you’ll know when you’ve hurt me.”

  “Sorry, but it’s kind of hard not to freak out every time I touch the brace,” he said in his usual grumpy voice, but the concern in his eyes gave him away.

  I’d taken off his hat a while ago. His hair was messy, his face flushed. The shirt he wore hung loosely over his torso; from this angle, I could see clear down his sternum and the light dusting of hair he had there. His jeans were a little rough when they rubbed against my legs but I didn’t mind. How could I? For the first time in my life, I was high without the slightest bit of help from any substances. Charlie was nothing like Marty.

  The smile slipped from my face. Because as true and amazing as that thought was, it brought a tangled mass of dark feelings and ugly memories with it.

  Charlie sat up, putting more distance between us. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I, uh, was just thinking I should probably call my mom.” I reached across the bed to get my phone, which had just enough of a
charge to make a call. “She might panic if she doesn’t hear back from me soon.” Smiling impishly, I hit the speed dial and settled back into the mattress. “Wouldn’t want her calling Aunt Dinah and sending her up here to check on me again.”

  “Good idea.” He started climbing off of me but I grabbed a handful of his shirt to stop him. What? he mouthed because by then I’d put the phone to my ear and I guess he didn’t want my mom accidentally overhearing him.

  I tugged gently, communicating that I wanted him to come closer. Charlie eased down over me and leaned his elbows against the mattress. Those eyebrows stayed up until I nodded reassuringly. I wanted him to stay exactly where he was. He relaxed against me, brushing a thumb against my cheek.

  “Esmer?”

  The little kid inside me perked up at the sound of my mom’s voice. I still remembered the woman who’d laughed and played with me in the years before my dad died. I guess a part of me still hoped to see her whenever she said my name. But all I had to do was listen a little harder to know my mom couldn’t be that same woman. The theme song from Law & Order was playing in the background. That damn show never played in our house before Hunter came along. He was a lawyer. He liked to compare the cases on the show to his cases and explain why his life should be televised.

  “Hey, Mom. Sorry I missed your call. My phone died.”

  “I know. Dinah told me.” A sigh. “I was imagining you’d fallen down the stairs and broken your neck or something. I swear, ever since you were attacked...”

  She didn’t have to finish that sentence because I already knew what she was going to say; she was paranoid about my safety now. She wouldn’t be happy until she could see for herself that I was fine. We’d had this conversation before. It always ended the same way, with me talking her off the ledge.