“No, but what I plan to do is go to Harley’s and confront Luke. He’s always had that kind of a sick sense of humor. Maybe he thinks this is a really funny joke.”
“Then the man is an idiot,” Alex replied darkly.
For the first time since he’d walked into the house Brittany smiled. “He is kind of an idiot, but he was fun to hang out with for a while.” She got up from the table and leaned against the counter. “This isn’t your deal, Alex. If I were you I’d run as fast as I could a million miles away from me.”
It had only been a little while ago that he’d wondered if that wouldn’t be the best thing for him to do. But with the scent of her in his head and her appearing like a tiny speck of an island in a storm-tossed sea, he realized there was no way he intended to walk away from her, at least not right now.
He got up from the table and without saying a word walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned into him, as if needing him to anchor her.
Despite the trauma of the morning, despite the questions that plagued his mind, he felt himself responding to her nearness.
She was like an elixir for his blood, a bane to all the loneliness and heartache that had been a part of his life for so long.
As she raised her face to gaze up at him he knew he was going to kiss her. He had no idea if it was right or wrong. He had no idea if she was right or wrong for him and his daughter. He only knew that at this moment he wanted to kiss her more than anything else he wanted in his life.
Chapter 6
From the moment Brittany had discovered the note gone she’d felt as if she’d flailed around in a sea of madness, a sea that had parted and brought sanity only when Alex’s arms had wrapped around her.
She wasn’t the kind of woman to depend on a man for anything. She’d always been strong and independent. Even in the face of death she’d remained strong except for one agonizing moment of blackness that she tried never to think about.
But there was no question that at this moment in time she not only wanted, she felt as if she needed Alex to anchor her, to heat the cold places that felt as if they would be icy forever.
When his lips met hers his warmth eddied through her, a welcome sensation she wanted to last forever, and as the kiss deepened she knew it wouldn’t be enough. A kiss could never be enough.
She wound her arms around his neck and pressed herself intimately close to him, wanting to lose herself in his heat, in the solid, sweet embrace that promised something more.
And she wanted more. She felt as if she’d been alone for an eternity and right now the idea of being alone for another minute was excruciating.
She wanted, no, needed intimacy. She needed to feel connected with something other than her own doubts, her own fears. She wanted connection with him.
The kiss that she knew he meant to comfort her quickly became hot and greedy as she opened her mouth to his. He’d said he just wanted a friend, but she felt the way he responded to her and in any case at the moment she felt selfish.
For over eight long months she had been utterly alone except for the taunting threats of a madman, followed by the pitying looks from her brothers.
Yes, she wanted to be selfish and take what she needed and damn the consequences. And what she needed right now was Alex, naked with his body tight against hers in her bed.
As the kiss continued she ran her hands up under his shirt, caressing his strong bare back in what she hoped would be an unmistakable gesture of her want. His flesh was smooth and hot.
She felt him tense slightly, but he didn’t pull back nor did the kiss end. Instead his hands slid down her back, setting fire to every place they touched until they stopped at the top of her hips.
She wanted him, not as a friend, not as a support system, but as a lover and it was obvious by his arousal pressed against her that he wasn’t adverse to the idea.
When the kiss finally ended he stepped back and stared at her, his eyes like flames of electric fire. “I should probably go,” he said, his voice slightly husky.
“Alex, I don’t want you to go. I want you to make love to me.” She took a step closer to him and placed a hand on his chest where his heart beat strong and just a little too fast. “I know you want to, Alex. We can still be friends. It doesn’t have to mean anything more than that, but I need you to hold me. I want to feel you naked next to me.”
She wouldn’t have thought it possible for his eyes to flare any hotter, but they did, but still he took another step back from her as if afraid to take what she freely offered him.
She sensed what he was about to say before he opened his mouth. “Don’t tell me I’m not in my right mind,” she exclaimed. “Having the deck built was the first thing in eight months I wanted to do for me. Having you is the second.”
Her words seemed to snap whatever hesitation in him that might have lingered. In two short strides he had her back in his arms, his mouth hungrily taking hers in a kiss that sent her senses reeling.
All memory of the frantic search for the missing note, the horrid face at the window and every other troubling thought in her head flew from her mind as she gave herself completely to the moment.
It didn’t take long for her to tire of kissing in the kitchen. She took him by the hand and led him down the hallway to her bedroom. Her sheets were rumpled as she hadn’t made the bed after getting up that morning. It looked ready for two lovers to fall in and rumple further.
“Brittany, I don’t want to be part of the craziness in your life,” he said as she pulled her T-shirt over her head. “I’m not looking for a wife.”
She dropped the shirt to the floor and smiled at him. “That’s good, because I’m not looking for a husband. I’m not even looking for tomorrow. I just want here and now with you.” She unzipped her jeans and smiled at him. “Are you going to stand there staring at me or are you going to get into my bed and ravish me?”
He grinned back. “Can’t I do a little bit of both?”
Within moments they were both undressed except for their underwear. Before she got into bed she opened her dresser drawer and pulled out a condom.
They tumbled together into the sheets that smelled of her favorite perfume and he pulled her tight against him, her bare skin drinking of his.
He was strong and warm and exactly what she wanted, and when his mouth found hers again she found his kiss wonderfully exciting and a testimony to herself that she’d truly survived her ordeal with her life, her very passion still intact.
When the kiss ended he rose up slightly and looked at her. “I haven’t been with anyone since long before my wife died.”
“And I’ve only been with one other man and that feels as if it were a lifetime ago,” she replied. Luke had taken her virginity after a night of too much booze and they’d been together twice more after that, but each time had been fast and fairly emotionless and she’d been left feeling as if there should be something more, something better than what she’d experienced.
“I want to go slow,” Alex whispered against her ear. “I want to savor every second with you, every inch of you.”
She shivered at his words, a promise of sensual pleasure like she’d never experienced before.
His mouth slid down the length of her neck as he tangled his hands in her long hair. She was lost in the width of his back, caressing her hands up and down as the muscles played beneath her fingertips.
She’d wanted him since the minute she’d opened her front door and seen him standing on her porch. She’d wanted him the first time he’d smiled, making his amazing eyes crinkle slightly at the corners and filling her with a welcome heat.
“I’ve been crazy with wanting you,” he said, as if in response to her own thoughts. His lips moved from her throat to her collarbone as she moved her hands up to tangle them in his dark hair.
His chest rubbed erotically against her bare breasts, shooting tingling sensations from her head to her toes. And then his mouth was on her breast, nudging the nippl
e with his tongue and then suckling with just enough pressure to evoke a moan of pleasure from her.
He’d said he wanted slow and he took it slow. His hands and mouth seemed to touch each and every inch of her until she was gasping with need, crying out his name in a combination of despair and delight.
It didn’t take long for their underwear to be disposed of and they pressed the length of their nakedness together, a sensual delight of skin, arousal and fire.
He smelled of a morning shower and spicy cologne, a heady combination that only increased her desire for him. When she wrapped her fingers around the hard length of him he gasped aloud, as if not expecting the intimate touch.
His entire body tensed as she moved her hand up and down the pulsing swell of him. His eyes bored into hers, filled with need that fought for control. “Easy.” His voice was a strained whisper and the muscles in his neck were taut. “I don’t want to finish before we begin.”
With a sudden movement he rolled over to his side, away from her touch, and instead his fingers found her center. Her nerves screamed as he moved his fingers in a slow, circular motion, calling forth a rising tide of sensation that had her trembling uncontrollably.
Then the tide was on her, rushing over her as she cried his name again and again. He rolled away from her and grabbed the condom from the nightstand. Seconds later he eased into her, and she closed her eyes as he filled her up, both body and soul.
He framed her face with his hands and she opened her eyes and gazed at him, and in that moment of eye contact she felt more cherished than she’d ever felt in her life.
A wealth of emotion rose up in her throat. The wonder of life, of this magic moment of complete intimacy, the knowledge that if things had gone bad in that shed with The Professional she would have never experienced this time with Alex. It all rushed over her and tears sprang to her eyes.
He frowned. “Am I hurting you?” he asked worriedly.
She gripped his buttocks and pulled him tighter against her. “No, not at all. You feel wonderful.”
He smiled. “You don’t know wonderful yet.” Then he began to move, sliding his hips back and forth in a slow motion that stole every thought from her head.
Slow and languid soon became faster and more frantic. They clung to each other as she met him thrust for thrust, dizzied by the pleasure that was almost too intense to bear.
When she thought she could stand no more, her orgasm shook through her like an earthquake and she was vaguely conscious of him finding his own release, as well.
They remained locked together, heartbeats finally slowing as she released a sigh of drowsy contentment.
He kissed her forehead, her cheek and the tip of her nose and then slid out of the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. He returned a moment later and slid back beneath the sheet and gathered her into his arms.
She relaxed against him, for the first time in eight months feeling one-hundred-percent safe. Neither of them spoke and she was grateful for the silence that spoke more than any words could say.
She was almost asleep when he stroked a strand of hair away from her face and spoke. “This has been wonderful, but it doesn’t solve anything.”
With that simple sentence reality slammed back in. Somebody had been at her window. Somebody had given her a note that terrified her with its implication. Was it all just a silly prank or did it imply something more dangerous?
“I know,” she finally replied.
“So, what is your next move?” He sat up and reluctantly she did the same. What she wanted to do was stay in bed forever with his arms wrapped around her. But it was time to face her life again.
She worried a hand through her hair. “The first thing I intend to do is call somebody to come over and change the locks on the house.”
“Definitely,” he agreed.
“I guess my next move will be to go see Luke down at Harley’s. He usually works Friday nights so I’ll plan on going then.”
Alex frowned. “Can’t you just call him?”
She shook her head. “I want to ask him if he came into my house last night, if he’s the one who tied the balloon to my mailbox and left that note. If I talk to him by phone I won’t be able to tell if he’s lying to me. If I see him in person I’ll know if he’s telling me the truth or not.”
“I don’t want you going to talk to him alone,” Alex said firmly. “I’ll get Rose to watch Emily Friday night and I’ll go with you to Harley’s.”
She started to protest, but he placed a finger against her lips. “You’ve already told me you aren’t going to your brothers with this. You need somebody on your side, Brittany, and I want to be that man.”
He lay back down and pulled her into his arms. Once again they were silent for several long moments and she wondered what he was thinking.
“You ever think about having kids?” he asked.
Of all the things she thought might be on his mind, this definitely wasn’t one of them. “Not really,” she answered truthfully. “I don’t think I’m mother material. Why?”
“You were good with Emily.”
“It’s easy to be good for ice cream and hair braiding, but that doesn’t a mother make.”
“She wants a brother or sister. She doesn’t understand that I’m not even sure I want to marry again.”
“You should marry again. You should find a nice woman who will make an excellent mother for Emily and give her lots of little brothers and sisters, build a family.” She ignored the small stab in her heart as she continued. “I have far too much baggage to be the kind of woman you need in your life. You don’t want to repeat your past mistake.”
This wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have. She didn’t want there to be any question in his mind about exactly what she had to offer him. “Friends, Alex. That’s what we said. It just so happens we’re friends who fell into bed together.”
“I know. And speaking of Emily, I should probably get out of here. It won’t be long till she’ll be getting off the school bus.”
Once again he slid out of the bed and Brittany looked at the clock on her nightstand in surprise. She was shocked to see how late it was, that they had spent most of the late morning and afternoon in bed.
“I wasn’t kidding about Friday night, Brittany,” he said as he tugged on his jeans. “You let me know what time you want to go talk to Luke and I’ll take you.”
“What if I really am just crazy?”
He pulled his shirt on over his head and shrugged with a small smile. “Then I guess eventually we’ll figure that out, too.” Once again he walked over and kissed her on the forehead. “Why don’t you just rest for a little while? I’ll lock up as I leave and I’ll see you in the morning to work on the deck.”
She made no move to get up. The lovemaking had left her boneless and sated, and with the sleepless nights she’d already suffered the idea of a nice long nap seemed infinitely appealing.
At least she’d made it clear to him that she had no interest in being a mommy, that whatever it was they were doing together had no real meaningful future.
He’d surprised her with his talk of children and what was even more surprising was the small whisper of yearning the conversation had stirred inside her.
Maybe someday she’d have a child of her own, when she stopped jumping at shadows and no longer carried with her a terrible sense of dread. She’d think about love and family when she didn’t have the ball of anxiety weighing heavy in her heart, when she knew the man who had stood at her kitchen window wasn’t a physical threat.
Odd, that nothing had happened before Alex had appeared in her life. She’d been in the house alone for almost a month and had been feeling better and stronger every day. But the day he’d stepped into her life had been the day the balloon had been tied to her mailbox, the day she thought that everything had begun to go bad.
Who was Alex Crawford? Had there really been a wife who had died of cancer? Had he really been a lawyer in Chicago? Chad had al
l but admitted that although the two had gone to college together they’d lost touch with each other until Alex had shown up here in town.
It felt almost traitorous to be lying in the bed where they had just made love, wrapped in the sheets that smelled of him, and entertaining these disturbing questions about him.
She rolled over and grabbed her phone from the nightstand and punched in a familiar number. “Hey, Benjamin,” she said when her brother answered.
“Hi, dollface. What’s going on?”
Of all her brothers, Benjamin was the easiest to talk to. He was soft-spoken, prone to compassion and had a relaxed nature that drew people to him.
“I have a favor to ask you,” she said. “But it would have to be a secret just between you and me.”
“What do you need?”
“I’d like you to run a thorough background check on somebody.” She felt bad even asking, but she had to be sure. She didn’t know who to trust right now and as badly as she wanted to trust Alex, she definitely had to be sure about him.
“How about some lemonade for the hardworking team?” Brittany asked the next day after noon as she carried a tray of drinks out to Alex, Buck and Gary.
“The only thing better than lemonade would be an ice-cold beer,” Buck said as he set down his hammer and walked over to the table.
“Sorry, I prefer not to liquor up the men building my deck,” she replied.
“Lemonade sounds great,” Alex said with a smile as he and Gary joined them.
She poured the drinks from the large pitcher she’d brought and the three men settled into chairs to take a quick break. “It’s coming along nicely,” she said as she looked at their work.
“Should be finished by the weekend,” Alex replied, a sense of pride in his voice as he looked over his work.
“I’ve always wanted to know what it was like,” Buck said, his gaze intently focused on her. “What was it like to be a prisoner of that nut job Larry Norwood?”
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