Gary elbowed his friend in the ribs. “Jeez, Buck,” he muttered beneath his breath.
“What? You know everyone has been wondering. You know you want to know, too. Did he torture you? Use cattle prods and stun guns?” Buck pressed.
“Buck!” Alex said sharply.
“It’s all right,” Brittany replied. She looked at Buck. “There are much worse things than cattle prods and stun guns. There are much worse things than physical torture.”
“He was smart, though, wasn’t he?” Buck continued, ignoring Alex’s frown of displeasure. “I mean, he managed to kidnap and kill all those women in Kansas City and then he almost did the same thing here.”
“He wasn’t too smart. He’s dead and I’m here,” she replied drily.
“That’s enough,” Alex said. “Back to work.”
As Buck and Gary moved away from the table Alex stepped closer to her. “That was inexcusable,” he said.
She shrugged. “Buck’s never been known for his great social skills. He’s just curious like I’m sure a lot of people are.”
“If he makes you feel uncomfortable I’ll take him off the job,” Alex offered.
“That’s not necessary. Besides, the job is almost done now.”
“He’s an idiot,” Alex said gruffly.
Brittany smiled as she recognized the protectiveness he apparently felt toward her. “It’s fine, really.”
“How about dinner tonight?”
She blinked at the abrupt change in topic. She wanted to have dinner with him. She wanted to go to bed with him again. She wanted all the things she shouldn’t have, but she hadn’t heard back from Benjamin yet and she didn’t want things between them to get any more complicated than they already were.
“I’ll have to take a rain check,” she replied. “I’m having dinner with my brother Benjamin and his wife,” she improvised.
“Okay, then maybe Friday before we head to Harley’s we can get a bite to eat together.”
“We’ll see,” she replied, refusing to commit to anything at the moment.
As he returned to work with the other two, she carried the pitcher and glasses back into the kitchen. Once she’d rinsed them and stowed them in the dishwasher she returned to the window. Only this time it wasn’t Alex who captured her attention. It was Buck.
There had been a glee in his eyes as he’d asked her the questions, a faint glint of admiration in his voice as he’d spoken of The Professional.
How could anyone admire a killer? She didn’t understand how, but she knew it happened. Some of the most notorious serial killers received thousands of love letters a year from women and notes of admiration from men.
Buck had little in his life to admire. His parents had been alcoholics who had virtually been unavailable to him from the time of his birth. He’d been kicked around by most people in town and had few friends. Was it any wonder he’d find an inappropriate man to look up to?
Was it possible he’d tied the balloon to her mailbox? Wore the ski mask and stood at her window? Was he a threat or playing some immature silly game?
She turned away from the window and picked up her phone and punched in her sister-in-law Edie’s phone number. “I was wondering if I could invite myself to dinner tonight,” she said after the initial greetings.
“Absolutely,” Edie replied. “In fact you’re in luck, Poppy and Margaret are coming over and doing the cooking so you know whatever it is will be good.”
They arranged for the time and then hung up. Poppy was actually Edie’s grandfather, Walt Tolliver. During the time that Brittany had been held captive by The Professional, Walt had become something of a small-town hero when he’d helped break a case of grave robbing and illegal dumping.
During the same time he’d fallen in love with Margaret, the older woman who had been housekeeper for the Grayson family for years. The two hadn’t married, but liked to tell everyone they were living in sin and loving it.
They were a fun couple, each proclaiming to be the best cook and bickering good-naturedly about cooking styles. At least it would be an entertaining night and Brittany wouldn’t feel as if she had lied to Alex about her dinner plans.
Still, later that afternoon as she got ready to head to Benjamin and Edie’s, her thoughts weren’t on Alex, but back on Buck and the excitement that had lit his eyes as he’d questioned her about her time with The Professional.
Chapter 7
Antonio’s Italian Restaurant was the closest thing to fine dining in the small town of Black Rock and it was where Alex took Brittany on Friday night for dinner.
As the hostess led them to a small round table in the back of the dimly lit establishment, Alex couldn’t keep his eyes off Brittany.
She wore a little black dress that hugged every curve and skimmed the tops of her thighs. Strappy black high heels accented the shapeliness of her long legs. Her hair was pulled up in a ponytail, exposing the long, slender column of her neck and allowing gold-and-black earrings to dangle freely.
He still wasn’t sure what he believed about her and her phantom stalker. There had been no more drama for the past couple of days. The deck was officially finished except for a few finishing touches and tonight after dinner they’d confront Luke Mathis to see just how sick his sense of humor was.
But right now Alex didn’t want to think about what came before or what would come after this moment. Brittany was stunning and at least for the length of the meal she belonged to him alone.
He knew he shouldn’t think of her that way, but since the afternoon of their lovemaking he’d had trouble thinking of her any other way. There was a part of him that recognized that heartache might be ahead, but he wasn’t sure he was completely capable of guarding his heart where she was concerned.
As they made their way to the table he was aware of the other diners watching Brittany and he could tell she was aware of them by the rigid straightness of her back.
She only relaxed when she slid into her seat, which faced away from the rest of the diners. “Feel like you just walked the plank?” he asked teasingly.
“Actually, it wasn’t as bad as I expected,” she replied, although she reached for her glass of water as if her throat had gone too dry.
“I keep telling you the more people see you out and around the less interesting you’ll be.”
She grinned. “That kind of makes it sound like the more of me you get, the more bored you are.”
He laughed. “You know I didn’t mean it that way,” he protested.
“I know.” She picked up the oversize menu. “I’m starving.”
“Good, I like a woman with an appetite.”
“I’m definitely not one of those women who peck on rabbit food and call it dinner. In fact, I happen to know that the lasagna here is fabulous.”
“That’s good to know since this is my first time here,” he replied.
“You really should bring Emily here some night. They make car-shaped pasta for the boys and little purse-shaped pasta for the girls.”
“That sounds fun. Maybe the three of us could come back some evening.”
She lowered the menu and looked at him seriously. “What are we doing, Alex?”
He shrugged. “We’re having dinner before we go to Harley’s so you can talk to Luke,” he replied, deliberately being obtuse.
She set the menu aside and frowned at him. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
He frowned for a long moment. “I don’t know what we’re doing. I only know that I don’t want it to stop,” he said truthfully.
Her cheeks flushed with a hint of color. “You know this isn’t going anywhere, that we aren’t going anywhere.”
“Friends,” he said, and then he couldn’t help but add with a smile, “with occasional benefits.”
“You shouldn’t be wasting your time with me.”
“I’ll let you know when I think you’re a waste of my time,” he replied easily.
At that moment the waitress arrived
with her order pad and a basket of warm bread and butter. They placed their orders and then she departed, leaving them alone with the slightly uncomfortable conversation they’d been having before she’d arrived.
“I just don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Brittany said. “Be honest with me, Alex. You aren’t sure what to believe about my phantoms and my notes and whatever. Do you really want somebody around Emily who isn’t cut out to be a mother? A woman who might be losing her mind?”
“You’re right, I’m not sure what to believe about the things you believe have happened, but I know that you’re kind and funny and caring, and why wouldn’t I want Emily to be around a woman like you? I told you before, Brittany, I’m not sure I’m in the market for marriage again, but life is too short not to connect in meaningful ways with people you care about, and I care about you.”
It was a long speech and when he was finished he sat back in his chair and waited for her reply. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt,” she finally repeated.
“Right now the only thing I’m anticipating might hurt me is that I’ll burn the roof of my mouth on the lasagna. Now, drink your wine and tell me about this Harley place we’re going after dinner.”
Dinner conversation remained light and pleasant and just as she’d predicted the food was delicious. They lingered over dessert and coffee, knowing that the best time to hit the tavern was later in the evening.
“I have a confession to make,” she said and something in her tone of voice caused his stomach muscles to cramp.
“What kind of a confession?” he asked.
“I had my brother Benjamin do a background check on you.”
Alex sat back in his seat in surprise. “You did?”
“I had to be sure that you were who you said you were,” she replied, her voice holding an unspoken apology.
“And what did he find out?”
A small smile curved her lips. “That you really are who you say you are.” The smile faltered. “I’m sorry, Alex, but I had to be sure.”
“No need to apologize. I don’t have any deep, dark secrets and I understand your need to be sure.” And he did. She’d needed to assure herself that he was worthy of her trust, and after all she’d been through there was no way he could blame her for that. The stories he’d told her about his life could have been nothing but fabrications with the intent to get closer to her, especially if he had nefarious intent toward her.
“Did you go to Harley’s often?” he asked, changing the subject.
“Too often,” she admitted. “Especially after I started seeing Luke. I worked hard during the day as a deputy, but I played even harder at night.” She shook her head and picked up her wineglass for a drink. “It’s amazing how being close to death can change your priorities, transform your life.”
“So, not much of a party girl anymore?” he asked lightly.
“Not at all. Life is too short to waste it partying with people who don’t bring meaning to your life.” She stared down into her wineglass and when she finally looked back at him her eyes were impossibly dark and equally impossible to read.
“Larry Norwood had set up a shed with five tiny cells. For almost three months I was alone in one of those cells. You can do a lot of thinking in three months. For the first week I refused to eat what little he’d bring out to me. I spent my time exploring the cell, looking for some sort of escape route, but there was no way out.”
He wanted to stop her, didn’t want her to relive the experience here and now, but he also didn’t want to interrupt her if she needed to talk about what she’d endured.
“After that first week I started to eat everything he brought to me, knowing I’d need to keep up my strength if I were going to try to somehow escape. I woke up every morning hoping that one of my brothers would burst in and save me and I went to bed every night with a sense of despair I’ve never known before.”
He reached across the table and took one of her hands in his. “You don’t have to do this, Brittany. I don’t have to know any of it.”
She nodded and tightened her fingers around his. “But I want you to. I want you to understand.” She leaned forward, her eyes flittering in the semidarkness of the restaurant. “The silence was terrible, but the worst part was when I’d hear him whistling right before he entered the shed. I never knew if he was bringing food or coming in to kill me or coming for one of his chats.”
“His chats?”
Again she nodded and her eyes took on the glaze of somebody remembering unpleasant things. “He’d come in and pull up a chair in front of my cell and then he’d talk about all the things he intended to do to me when he finally had all his cells filled with women.” Her fingers chilled beneath his. “Terrible things. Things that wouldn’t kill me, but would cause excruciating pain. He never touched me in any way, but there are nights I have nightmares about the things he promised to do to me.”
“Why was he waiting until he got the other women?” Alex asked in an effort to understand exactly what she’d faced.
“His real thrill came in having an audience. He wanted to torture and kill us each one at a time while the others watched. Of course initially I didn’t understand that, so each time he came into the shed I thought I was going to die.”
The glaze in her eyes lifted. “I can’t put into words what that feels like, how it eats away at your very soul. It changes you. It changes who you are at your very core.” She pulled her hand from his and leaned back. “My brothers don’t get it. They don’t realize how much I’ve changed and that’s why I have trouble talking to them. They think a new pair of shoes or a fancy purse is going to make me feel better because that’s what I used to love.”
“I didn’t know you before, Brittany. So I can only tell you that I like the woman you are now, that to me you represent a strength of character that I admire.”
Her eyes darkened once again. “I’m not as strong as you think I am. I’m not as strong as anyone believes I am.”
She averted her gaze from his and for a moment he thought he saw a whisper of secrets and realized there was probably more that she wasn’t ready to tell.
She released a small, embarrassed laugh. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get into all that now.”
“It’s okay. I told you anytime, anyplace if you need to talk, I’m here for you.”
She smiled. “But you probably didn’t intend for a conversation like this to take place in the middle of dinner at Antonio’s Restaurant.”
He returned her smile. “This is as good a place as any.” He sobered. “Brittany, let’s just take things slowly. Because that’s all we really have—one day at a time.”
She released a sigh that sounded like relief. “I just don’t want to lead you on in any way.”
“I’m a big boy. Don’t you worry about me. Don’t you worry about anything but finishing that dessert and then getting your key back and maybe some answers from Luke.”
The conversation returned to more normal topics, the beautiful weather, the flowers she intended to plant around her new deck and the party she planned to throw when everything was perfect in her backyard.
“Of course you and Emily will be invited,” she said and then finished the last of her wine. “And my family and I’m thinking about inviting some of my old girlfriends.”
He raised an eyebrow. “The ones who made you uncomfortable after your rescue?”
She frowned and toyed with one of her dangling earrings, making him want to take it off and nibble on her earlobe. “I’ve been thinking about that. I think maybe in those first weeks after my rescue I pretty much pushed everyone away, including some well-meaning friends. I felt safe at Benjamin and Edie’s and I was afraid that anyone else might pull me out of that feeling of safety, so I protected myself by withdrawing. I miss having girlfriends to do lunch or just chat on the phone.”
She offered him a beautiful smile and dropped her hand to her lap. “I think I’m finally really healing and it’s in large part thanks
to you.”
“To me?” He looked at her in surprise.
“You and Emily got me out of my house for ice cream. You have me here now. You’ve made me realize I can continue my life here in Black Rock, a normal life after everything that happened to me.”
She might not recognize her own strength, but she obviously had no idea the core of character that existed in her. And there was no question that he was as drawn to the woman she was inside as he was drawn to her physical attractiveness.
One day at a time, he reminded himself as they left the restaurant. She’d made it clear that she wasn’t mother material and he couldn’t seriously contemplate a relationship with a woman who wasn’t.
There was no way this thing with her could have a happy, romantic ending, but he’d meant what he’d said to her. He didn’t know what they were doing, but he wasn’t ready to stop.
Two things surprised Brittany. The first was that she’d had a sudden desire to talk to Alex about her time with The Professional. Although she hadn’t told him everything, she’d been surprised by the cathartic relief she’d felt in telling him what she had.
The second thing that surprised her was the bad case of nerves tightening her stomach as they pulled up in front of Harley’s. This was the most public place she’d been since her kidnapping and rescue.
The parking lot was clogged with cars and trucks, attesting to the fact that it was a busy Friday night. Inside would be people she hadn’t seen since her kidnapping.
She glanced over to Alex as he steered into a parking place. He was his usual hot self tonight in a pair of black slacks and a short-sleeved white dress shirt. She’d found the familiar scent of his cologne oddly comforting all night long and she’d found his attentiveness to her throughout the meal more than a little bit sexy.
Still, as she looked at the tavern doubts once again roared through her. What if it hadn’t been Luke who had come into her house? What if there hadn’t been anyone at the window? What if that note had only been a figment of her imagination?
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