by Marie Medina
Arion smiled a moment. “Anything you do is up to you. I think it would be a very brave thing. It would mean a lot to some of the people for something to be said formally.” He sighed. “But you’re right. I just want to be far away so badly I don’t care about a formal apology or, well, anything but getting away.”
“I understand. You were lucky to make it through the village at all. Probably only got out unscathed because people were trying to size the situation up.” She folded her hands, attempting a smile. “Thank you for coming. You didn’t have to. Could’ve shunned us and been right to do so.”
“No. It wouldn’t have been right. Not when you were offering an apology.”
“Then you forgive me? I nearly ruined your life. I definitely ruined a friendship.”
A friendship? Arion struggled to speak as he replied. “Your reaction got me into that mess, yes, but … Lord Vane is responsible for his actions as well. But yes, I forgive you. If things hadn’t been so chaotic, if I hadn’t come in at just that moment, there would’ve been time to…” He trailed off. “What matters is the truth came out.” While he didn’t want to be insensitive, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. Her desire to make things right just reminded him of how much Vane’s actions had hurt. He wanted to do something but had no idea what.
Jane wiped at her eyes and attempted another smile that didn’t reach past her lips. Arion wanted to run back to the castle and beat that man to within an inch of his life. But he couldn’t. He would have to rely on Vane to see justice was done.
The bandit would probably be lucky to escape with his life, if Vane lashed out at him in revenge.
Saying good-bye proved just as awkward, though as he rode away, Arion felt glad he’d gone to them at Ben’s request. Regretting not being able to apologize might’ve only added to everyone’s pain, so he couldn’t be upset about the encounter. However, he knew he’d never forget Jana’s face any more than he’d forget all the destruction wrought by the bandits.
As he reached the top of a hill and took the fork toward Gregor’s dominion, he cast one final glance back. The castle looked small from where he was, and he spurred Lily on as he told himself that forgetting was his only option if he wanted to survive this with his sanity intact.
Chapter Four
Present Day
3155, The Year of Suns
Vane flipped through the pages of the large book in his lap. None of the jewelry designs really stuck out to him, but he wanted something very beautiful to give to Gwynn as an engagement present. He also needed something to occupy his mind and keep him from pacing the room and looking out the window every two minutes. Based on the distance, everyone predicted that Arion would arrive today. The whole castle buzzed with energy, and Vane felt ready to pull his hair out. The drama of his tragedy had faded within about a year of Arion leaving him, as it had only been viewed as a ruptured friendship by most back then, but now everyone throughout the dominion seemed to know all of his business. He’d forgotten how it felt to have so many look at him with pity in their eyes.
Vane had never been proud of his behavior after Arion’s departure, and he’d never tried to justify it. He’d in turn been vengeful and petulant and just plain childish in his grief. He’d had the man who’d raped Jana castrated before sending him and the other men to the mines on Ferrum Island. Many people had seemed shocked Vane had carried out the violent punishment without obtaining permission from the king, but no one had ever dared criticize him. Even his steward at the time had only asked him to be sure he was certain that was what he wanted to do.
Marius had never criticized him for what had happened with Arion, but the man had certainly seemed to grow more distant afterwards. Vane almost wished more people had told him off for treating his mate that way instead of feeling sorry for him, no matter how badly he would’ve reacted to it at the time. After the bandits had been punished, Vane had locked himself in his room like a child. He cringed even now, but at the time he’d had little desire to live and hadn’t cared what anyone thought of his display of misery.
When Vane heard lots of shouting outside, he stiffened and put the book aside on the bed. He didn’t have the courage to go to the window at first, but when he finally did, he saw lots of people talking excitedly in clumps. They all looked toward the main entrance to the castle, and Vane grabbed at the wall for support. When he’d last seen Arion, he’d had to clutch at the doorframe of the stable to stay upright. He’d collapsed in a heap a few feet inside the stable and simply sat there staring until Marius had come looking for him. Marius and Alice had kept his secret, showing him a loyalty he probably hadn’t deserved, which only made him feel more ashamed of his behavior. That had been what had led everyone to speculate, and when his parents had arrived he’d had no choice but to explain why Arion’s departure had affected him so strongly. Most around him had been remarkably kind and understanding, but growing sick of their pity had been what had really made him snap out of his stupor. He’d built his emotional walls high and grown used to guarding his heart until this damned sickness had taken hold of him.
Vane closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the glass to try to steady himself. But he jumped and nearly lost his balance when the door to his bedroom flew open and hit the wall with a loud bang. The entire room seemed to shake as Vane tried to steady himself. Every nerve in his body jumped to attention as his heart thudded wildly. Vane turned and saw Arion for the first time in twenty years.
The lycan certainly knew how to make an entrance.
The day they’d met, Vane’s first glimpse of him had been a lightning-fast blur of fangs and fur as he leapt into action. And now? Arion had obviously been true to his word and run the last part of the way in lycan form. He wore nothing but a pair of brown linen breeches, just barely laced up and hanging off his hips crookedly as if he’d only seconds earlier fumbled into them. Every inch of his muscular frame glistened with a light sheen of sweat, and his dark brown hair was even longer than it had been years ago, falling all around his face and over his shoulders in waves of perfect dishevelment. His breath came in gasps as he crossed the room quickly in long strides. He tossed down a small bag he held in his hand as he closed in on Vane. His face had matured and showed some lines, but Vane still found him breathtaking. His virile presence only heightened his masculine beauty.
Vane opened his mouth but said nothing, his chest tight and his tongue unwilling to move. Arion held up his arm and brought it close to Vane’s lips.
“Arion…” Vane searched for words, but Arion took him by the shoulder and pinned him to the wall, actually pressing his arm to Vane’s lips now.
“Drink. We have a lot to talk about, and you need to be alive for us to do that,” Arion said, his smoldering gaze making Vane feel somewhat lightheaded. Vane had expected anger and detachment, not this passionate insistence.
Vane obeyed all too willingly, moaning as he tasted Arion’s blood again. He drank deep and clung to Arion, and he could already feel the blood making a difference. He stopped himself and healed the wound, and then he realized that his legs had given out and Arion was the only thing holding him up. The lycan scooped Vane up in his arms and carried him to the bed as if he weighed almost nothing.
“You should be resting,” Arion said as he sat on the edge of the bed and held out his other arm. “And you should drink more. I can give more than a human can. You know my blood regenerates faster.”
Vane shook his head. “In a little while. It’s too heady of a sensation because of the disease. I’m dizzy as it is.”
Arion looked him over. “If you say so. You’re sweating and pale and far too thin.”
“That will change.” Vane swallowed as he shifted positions on the bed. “Now that you’re here.”
The clatter of dishes caught their attention, and they looked up to see Gwynn standing in the doorway with a tray, looking a bit harried and wide-eyed. She smiled at them both. “Was so busy balancing this lot I didn’t even see
the door was wide open until I went to knock with my foot.” She brought the overflowing tray to the bed and set it on the side table, moving things out of the way and putting them on the floor. She reached over and felt Vane’s forehead before he could move away, grinning widely and kissing his cheek before turning to Arion. “Mrs. Allen has been at the ready all day. There’s plenty here, so you dig right in. You must be exhausted, and you’ll need your strength. There’s fresh clothes in the bathing chamber, and your room is through that far door in the corner. I’m going to draw a bath for you quick as I can get all of this sorted.” She turned back to all the teas and bottles of blood she’d moved off the table, organizing them in one of the baskets sitting there.
Vane cleared his throat to introduce Gwynn, but Arion spoke before he had the chance to say anything.
“If I hadn’t met Vane’s mother, I’d think that’s who you were. You certainly seem to have a knack for handling him,” Arion said with a smile.
Vane knew he shouldn’t be surprised by Arion’s friendly response. It was almost impossible not to like Gwynn and her energy right away.
She eyed him and put her hands on her hips. “You saying I look hundreds of years old? Hmmm, I’m not so sure about you.”
“Oh? I’m pretty sure you’re the woman I saw clapping her hands and jumping up and down before kissing the man beside you and lifting your skirts to go racing down the hall.”
She laughed. “Couldn’t help it. Knowing you were coming and actually seeing you walk through the door are two different things.” She gave him a long once over. “Now I’m going to get on that bath. I think there are clothes in there that’ll fit you, but you let me know if they aren’t quite right.”
Arion pointed to the bag he’d thrown down. “I brought more clothes, though they might be a bit dusty. The faster I run the harder it is to keep the bag on my back.”
Gwynn picked it up. “I’ll dust your boots off and have the rest laundered.” She looked inside and then hefted the leather bag. “It’s so heavy. How did you run without tripping?”
“I’m used to it. I had Ash cinch it up very close to my body after I’d shifted.”
“How is Ash?” Vane asked as Gwynn walked into the bathing chamber with the bag.
Arion looked back to him. “Fine, but very worried about his older brother.”
Vane swallowed. “I know.”
“He must love you very much. I’ve never seen anyone so passionate. Or so grateful.”
“Ash is a fine young man. I’m proud of how strong and determined he is.”
Gwynn cleared her throat. “Tub’s filling up. Check on it in a few minutes. Should be nice and hot for you.”
“Thank you.” Arion stood. “You know my name, of course, but I don’t know yours.”
“Gwynn. Just shout if you two need anything. Otherwise we’ll leave you be.” She grinned and gave Vane a wink before making a point of closing the door firmly behind her.
Arion turned back to Vane. “She’s something else. I like her.”
Vane swallowed, more than a little terrified to be alone with Arion again. He would almost have welcomed more of Gwynn’s teasing. “Yes, Gwynn’s wonderful. She’s engaged to my steward.”
“And can probably run this place just as well as he can.” Arion’s smile faded, and they looked at each other a moment. He looked away first and went into the bathing chamber. The water cut off about a minute later, and Vane could hear the water splashing about as Arion bathed.
Vane pushed his hands through his hair, knowing he probably looked awful. But did it really matter? Arion was here to save his life, not be his mate. Vane had to keep that in mind, no matter how long Arion ended up staying, no matter how kind or caring he might be.
The scent of roses and amber soap filled the room as Arion returned a short time later. He wore a fresh pair of breeches that were just a bit too short. And very tight. The lycan remained bare-chested, and Vane tried to stop himself from staring.
Arion came over and sat on the bed again. “I left the tub filled and added some fresh hot water. You look like you could use a bath yourself. Honestly, you kind of stink.”
Vane fumbled for words. Arion’s deferential nature had certainly given way to a kind of confidence and directness Vane hadn’t anticipated. He chastised himself for having expected Arion to still be a wide-eyed youth. He’d grown into a remarkable and capable man, and Vane wondered how much of that independence had to do with what had happened between them years earlier. He still remembered Arion’s words clearly—What happened here has taught me the dangers of depending on others. For years he’d worried how far reaching the consequences would be, as he knew exactly how much they’d affected every part of his own life.
“Yes, I suppose I could use one.” He nodded to the tray. “Eat, please.”
Arion stood up, and Vane got out of bed. He drew in a deep breath when he stood up, and Arion took his arm. Vane paused. He wanted Arion to touch him, but at the same time he didn’t want to be treated like an invalid.
“I’m fine. Really. I can get in there on my own.”
“You’re unsteady. I can see it in your face.” Arion shook his head. “I’m not going to just sit here while you go in there and slip and bust your head open on the marble.”
Vane started to protest, but Arion compelled him forward. Much to his shame, Vane realized that he probably would’ve fallen without Arion there to support him. Once they stood at the edge of the sunken tub, Arion whipped Vane’s tunic off before Vane even realized what he was doing.
“I can undress myself, thank you,” Vane said. He wasn’t ashamed of his body, but he was much thinner than he’d once been, as Arion had pointed out. Plus, Arion had never seen him naked before. Though both men were tall, they possessed very different body types. Whereas Arion bulged with muscles all over, Vane’s body had always been lean. Arion had dark skin covered in a dusting of brown hair while Vane was pale and mostly hairless. He’d never felt his lack of masculinity more than he did in this moment.
Arion crossed his arms. “Then go ahead. I’m going to help you in whether you like it or not.”
Vane wanted to argue but didn’t have the strength. “Fine.” He untied the cord at his waist and dropped the linen pants he wore, letting Arion take his arm as he stepped out of them. Once he was in the tub, he expected Arion to leave, but the lycan leaned against the marble counter and folded his arms.
“I’m sitting down now. I’m not going to pass out and drown.”
Arion tilted his head. “Humor me.”
Vane dunked his head in the water and then reached for a vial of rose-scented shampoo. He felt Arion watching him as he massaged his scalp. He hadn’t bathed in a couple of days, and it felt so good to soak in the hot water he actually had to check a moan that hovered on his lips. Arion’s gaze made him self-conscious in a way he’d never experienced before.
“Are you going to check behind my ears before you let me out?” Vane asked.
Arion actually smiled at him. “No. I’m just looking at you. I thought that might please you. I don’t understand why you’re being so defensive.”
He thought it might please me? The implications of that statement proved a bit overwhelming, and Vane stalled by turning the water back on and tilting his head under the faucet to rinse the shampoo away. He then cut the water off and pushed his hair off his face before looking up at Arion. “I’m more grateful than you know, but please don’t toy with me. I know I can’t keep you, and it’s cruel to give me hope.”
Now Arion frowned. “I could be here a long time. I’m told the cure is as unpredictable as the disease itself. I’m not playing a game here or trying to get back at you in some twisted way. I’d never toy with your feelings. I simply can’t make any promises right now. Why not just see what happens?”
“Because I can’t take the pain again. Why do you think I didn’t seek you out the moment I knew I was sick? I’m as much of a coward now as I was then.” Vane grab
bed the amber soap and began washing himself, keeping his eyes on the water as he did so. He scrubbed his skin vigorously, frustration filling him. Arion had called him defensive, and he knew the lycan was right. He felt weak and helpless, and Arion stepping in and taking charge confused him. He fought to keep his defenses up, though he knew Arion had already put sizable cracks in the emotional walls he’d built around himself.
Arion came and sat on the floor by the edge of the tub. “I would’ve come no matter what, but even a man with a stony heart would’ve come at Ash’s pleading. Your death would’ve broken his heart. I could see that clearly from his first words.” He reached over and made Vane look at him by grabbing his chin and tipping it up. “Am I really the reason you didn’t care if you lived or died?”
Vane tried to steady his breathing. “It’s more complex than that.”
Arion’s lips curved into a sad smile. “Things always are, aren’t they?” He let go of Vane but didn’t stand up.
“I assumed you’d married and had children. That you’d built a life for yourself. I didn’t want to take away from whatever happiness you’d found.”
“I can’t say I ever found any. Contentment, maybe, but not happiness.”
“Do you have a family? Ash’s letter didn’t say.”
“No. I never married. No children.” He sighed. “And no lover.”
Vane paused before he said, “No lover right now, you mean.”
“Now. Or since I left here.”
Vane didn’t believe that, but he kept his mouth shut as he thought. Saying he didn’t believe anything Arion said could prove disastrous given how they’d parted. And why would Arion lie about that? Perhaps he does mean to toy with me. He decided to shield his heart with humor. “How did you ever fight them off? You’re more attractive now than ever.”
****
Arion folded his hands in his lap. “And since I’m a shifter, I’m hot-blooded and controlled by lust, hmmm? It’s a stereotype I’ve grown tired of. I’ve never had trouble controlling my urges. I even considered becoming a priest for a time.”