A Passionate Endeavor

by Sophia Nash

  Nicholas accepted Owen’s firm handshake and avoided the man’s gaze. “Thank you.”

  Owen urged the horse forward, and Nicholas turned in time to overhear his wife’s explanations to her maid. Doro shook her head and clucked as she entered the cottage, murmuring her horror at the morning’s events and promising to watch over Sally Roberts.

  Nicholas strode over to Charlotte, who stood with her back to him. He resisted the urge to place his hands on her shoulders.

  “Did I understand correctly, Nicholas? When did your father die?”

  “Very early this morning.”

  Her shoulders began to shake, and he turned her and pulled her into his arms. She cried and then shook her head, pulling away from his embrace. “I should be comforting you.” She wiped her hands across her tear-stained face.

  “You’ve earned the right to a good cry, after what Coburn did.” Nicholas fingered his breast pocket. “I’m sorry Charlotte, I dressed in haste, and have no handkerchief to give you. Damn Coburn’s hide. I lost ten years of my life when I saw him reach for his pistol.”

  “I guess that will be the last time he draws on a Rifleman,” she said, smiling through her tears. He made a motion for the cottage door. “Let me retrieve a handkerchief from your maid.”

  “I have one in my pocket.” She drew forth a large handkerchief. The white-on-white embroidered initials on it surprised him. “Why, this is one of my own,” he said. “How fortunate.”

  “I could not bear to return it to you. You lent it to me long ago.”

  He took it from her and dried her tears, then forced her to blow her nose. She did so in a loud, childlike fashion.

  “Will you accompany me back to the abbey, Charlotte?” He hesitated. “You weren’t really leaving for London, were you?”

  “I thought it was for the best,” she said, not looking at him. “But I will not leave right away. I will stay for your father’s funeral, of course. I would not be so disrespectful to his memory. He was the kindest of men. But after, when you plan your own departure—”

  “There you are!” shouted Charley, coming down the rise overmounted on a huge chestnut gelding.

  Nicholas had to grab the reins when Charley could not bring the animal to a stop.

  “You are needed at once, Lord Nick, I mean ‘Your Grace.’ “ The boy was completely out of breath. “Her Grace is in such a state. Stevens sent me to find you, and to ask Lady Charlotte, I mean Her Gr—, oh, you know who I mean, to bring some smelling salts. Oh, do hurry, please, afore she tears the abbey down with her screamin’.”

  Nicholas turned to Charlotte, shaking his head. “Will this day never end? It is only eight o’clock in the morning, and yet it seems like it should be nightfall. We will continue our conversation a bit later,” he said, taking her arm to urge her toward the abbey. “But Charlotte, promise me you will not make any plans to leave before we do so. Come, it’s time to face the worst of it.”

  “You!” his stepmother shrieked as Nicholas entered the elegant sitting room off the duchess’s bedchamber. Both Edwin and her lady’s maid had to physically restrain her from attacking him. She pointed an accusing finger at Nicholas. “You dare to show your face in my rooms? You, the murderer of your own father. And you,” she said, looking beyond his shoulder to Charlotte. “You vulgar little French mushroom. I knew you would be the death of him. My dear, beloved Richard,” she continued, and then crumpled onto the chaise longue. The maid handed her mistress a new handkerchief.

  Nicholas looked down at her. She made for such a pathetic creature. The duchess had seemed to be made of steel will and unquestionable authority when she had moved into the abbey so many years ago. He had tried so hard, for a decade, to gain her approval, a feat that a young boy of eight had not known was unattainable. And now, lying before him, she was just an old woman, filled with nothing but hatred and venom. He felt only pity.

  “Madam, I shall choose to ignore your unfortunate comments as you are consumed with grief. However, I must ask you to exert some effort to regain a measure of sanity in the presence of others. If that cannot be accomplished, then I must ask your maid and Stevens to leave us.”

  Stevens bowed, and the maid curtsied her acquiescence. “Already giving orders are you, Your Grace?” Edwin said. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am,” Nicholas replied. “Do you have difficulty comprehending why, Edwin?”

  His half brother looked at him through half-closed eyes. “Why, I have never had trouble following orders. Quite to the contrary. I have been obeying our father’s orders since birth; a trait I thought we shared. But clearly, I am very much mistaken. Now that our father is gone, you will break all your vows to him and ruin us all because of your ignorance.”

  Nicholas looked at Edwin’s cynical, pompous mask and turned to Stevens and the maid. With a nod, he dismissed them and returned his attention to his half brother.

  “Edwin,” he said, and paused to collect his thoughts. “I have found, in my many years serving the Crown, that there are three kinds of evil in the world. The first type is plagued with insecurities and jealousies that lead individuals to behave badly. The second kind seems to be relentless in an attempt to acquire power and control. And finally, the third type is demonstrated in the sad cases of people who were born with criminal tendencies,” Nicholas continued. He glanced down the length of his nose to see the furious expression on Edwin’s face.

  Nicholas raised his hand to stop him from speaking. “Have no fear. I will not ask you to tell me into which category you fall. The only reason I do not is because of the memory of our father.”

  Nicholas caught a swift, dark movement from the corner of his eye. His stepmother had hurled herself headfirst from the chaise longue and was now barreling into his stomach. He tried to catch her thin arms as she struck his chest with her fists.

  “You stupid ox,” she screamed at him. “You dare to call Edwin evil? You are the devil incarnate. My dear Richard is not even cold on his deathbed and already you dare to try to take control of the family and insult my son, who is your superior in every conceivable way. I knew you would break all the promises you made as soon as you came back. You are nothing but a bad seed that should never have been born. You killed your father with your scandalous marriage to this—this penniless foreign nobody with pretensions of grandeur. Let me go! Or am I next on your list?”

  Nicholas released her and took a step back. “Madam, it was not my intention to hurt you. As long as you can restrain yourself there will be no further need for me to do it for you.”

  “Your Grace, may I offer you some laudanum for relief?” Charlotte asked quietly. She had been one step behind him all this time.

  “You! Why I wouldn’t accept one drop of anything from you. You have been in league with this demon all along. All those potions and concoctions you gave dear Richard. If there was any justice I would have both of you before the magistrate on charges of conspiracy to murder my husband.”

  Charlotte stepped back and looked at the carpet. There was something about her graceful posture and the lovely tilt of her head, that made Nicholas want to take her in his arms and spirit her away from the evil that permeated the walls of this cold abbey.

  Suddenly, she tilted her head back and looked at him. She had the most trusting, loving look on her face. She radiated goodness. It hardened his resolve.

  “Madam, my grandmother and Mr. Llewellyn were with me very early this morning, just prior to the time of my father’s death,” he paused to take a deep breath. “They were called in to witness an addendum to his last will and testament. I have asked the vicar to come later this afternoon to discuss the changes with you so you will not be surprised during the formal reading of the document following the funeral three days hence.” He stopped when he felt a small, warm hand curl into his own. He realized his fingers were clenched and cold. “But I do not want you to live in suspense and worry. You and Edwin are to remove to Carston Hall in Yorkshire-”

  “Why am I not sur
prised that you would exile us to the cold, boggy north?” Edwin interrupted.

  “I chose Carston because it is the estate’s second-largest property. If you would prefer, I will allow you to choose the smaller manor house in Shropshire.”

  “Well, Mother dear, I suppose we must be grateful for the unexampled kindness His Grace is seeing fit to bestow on us. I for one will enjoy watching from afar the total ruin of the Knight family fortune. Although, I expect with Mr. Coburn remaining as the competent steward, it will take longer than expected. May I be permitted to ask Your Grace, if we will be allotted our own portion of funds to control? At least we will be able to invest wisely to ensure our own future comfort and well-being,” he said with an air of supreme confidence.

  “I am again sorry to burst the bubble of your illusions, Edwin, but your Mr. Coburn is, at this very moment, cooling his heels in the strong room of The Quill & Dove. There is the matter of many thousands of pounds missing from our estates, which you and Mr. Coburn will be required to explain,” Nicholas said, before staring hard at Edwin. “Now, Edwin. I would not have you misunderstand me on this last point. You and your mother will be given a generous stipend each month that you shall not exceed. Have no doubts that no debts of yours shall be paid that exceed the stipend. I will attempt to exonerate your name from any scandal Mr. Cobum’s actions produce. But, I will not agree to any blackmail.

  “I shall forgive your gross mistakes this one time. But understand me well, if you and Her Grace,” Nicholas said, nodding toward the duchess, “behave properly, I shall reward you both with a season in town every few years or so. Make the mistake of continuing your malicious behavior, and you will reap your reward, which will include a substantial change in your standard of living. Do I make myself clear?”

  The young man’s face had exhibited every color of the rainbow during Nicholas’s lecture. He was surprised Edwin had not exploded in anger. But Nicholas had underestimated his half brother’s reserves of control when self-preservation was at stake.

  “And lest there be any doubt about the future, I will sign a document this morning transferring all unentailed wealth and properties to my wife upon my demise. And I daresay it goes without saying that any sudden change in my health would be investigated, starting with you both. Now, may I count on you to not make complete spectacles of yourselves by disgracing me and my wife while you stay here for the funeral?” He continued without waiting for an answer. “For the next time either of you utters an ungracious word to me or my wife, I shall be forced to change my mind about allowing you a generous portion and not including you in the investigation concerning Mr. Coburn.”

  Edwin had turned white in his shock. He looked like a child who had received a well-justified whipping. “Yes… sir.”

  The proverbial bully had turned coward. “Very good, then. I shall leave you to recover and send a maid to attend to Her Grace.”

  Nicholas stood stock still as the pause lengthened into an uncomfortably long silence. He stared at his half brother until Edwin was forced to show his respect by a slight bow. With that, Nicholas quit the room alongside Charlotte.

  His arm had never felt so rock-hard as it did just now while they walked past the tiered formal gardens of Wyndhurst Abbey toward the cottage. The loud crunching sound of the pea gravel beneath their steps filled Charlotte’s ears. The air was cool, signaling autumn’s commencement as the dark red roses made a final fragrant showing before the killing frosts.

  Charlotte felt very shy in his commanding presence, unsure of what to say. She dared a sidelong glance at his rugged, handsome profile and saw the grim set of his mouth while they headed into the teeth of a strong wind that promised to pierce the heavy gray clouds all around. They entered the taller grasses, swirling madly in the breeze, and startled a pocket of field grouse, who flew away, their long tails fanned in flight.

  They walked in silence; he seemingly lost in thought, she wondering what he was thinking, not confident enough to utter a word. Within sight of the cottage, Nicholas halted.

  “Charlotte,” he said, turning to face her. “I am sorry for everything you have had to endure since coming to this godforsaken place. From the hostile reception, the death of your father, your forced betrothal, through it all you have been a model of grace and all that is charitable and good. And I, well, I was all that is the opposite.”

  “I am not sorry I came,” she interrupted in whispered tones, while looking at the ground. “And it is not true what you said. You are all that is courageous and kind. I know that because of your excellent character. You took pity of me, but there was no need. I did not want your pity. I only ever wanted your…” Out of the corner of her eye, Charlotte could see that he had bent down to try and catch her words.

  “My what?” he asked.

  “Oh, never mind. It doesn’t signify. Shall we go into the cottage? I have something for you. I wanted to give it to you before I left.”

  He took her hands in his own and bent to kiss them. She felt like an awkward girl staring into his impossibly handsome face.

  “What did you only ever want from me, Charlotte?”

  She released his hands and began marching, in the longest strides her legs would allow, to the whitewashed cottage beyond. She could hear him walking beside her.

  “Tell me you only ever wanted my love, dearest,” he said, his deep baritone voice floating in the wind.

  “I cannot,” she said, horrified that he had guessed her greatest desire. “I only ever wanted your respect, sir.”

  “Well then, that is too bad.”

  She swung around to face him, anger flooding her body, forcing the tears that had threatened to spill back into their small recesses. “Yes, it is too bad. I was never able to gain anything but your pity. Now, please, I beg of you to leave me alone. I think it best that I leave you here, actually. I will send the item I have for you with Doro. Will you please, I beg of you, arrange for a carriage to take me to London the morning after your father’s burial? I think it best that I leave then,” she said.

  He threw back his head and laughed.

  It was outrageous. He was outrageous. She had never seen him act with so little concern for her sensibilities. She ran to the door. At the last moment, she was snatched back into his arms.

  “Darling, you do not think I would let you go now, just when you have almost admitted that my fondest wishes have been granted?” There was a shining light in his laughter-filled green eyes.

  “Put me down!”

  “Not until I hear from your beautiful lips precisely how long you have loved me.” “I did not admit that.” “Then it is a shame. You shall have to live with a man who loves you to distraction while you only tolerate him. I shall not let you go away, my love.”

  “Oh, Nicholas,” she said. “Please don’t make fun of me or of our situation. You have never loved me. You have only ever pitied me.”

  “Yes, you are right, of course. I was feeling only pity the day I first met you and railed against your nursing, and again only pity as you helped me begin to learn how to read, and pity alone on our wedding night, as we made love in every way imaginable. It was all done in pity.”

  “I beg of you not to lie to me. It would only lead to great unhappiness,” she said, looking away from the intensity of his gaze. She pushed at his strong shoulders in an attempt to release herself from his embrace.

  “Oh, no. I shall not let you go. I have not given you the requisite number of compliments today. First, you are the most delicately beautiful lady of my acquaintance.”

  She sighed in sadness, refusing to believe.

  “Second, you are the most hardheaded—no, rather, impossibly hardheaded wife, even if it is a beautiful hard head. And by the way, I take great offence that you would even think for a moment that I would lie to you. It is a very lowering thought just after you complimented my great character. And finally, I do hope Doro and the Robertses are not still in this cottage, as they and you would be most embarrassed by wh
at I plan to do to you very, very soon,” he said, then laughed heartily. “That is, of course, a roundabout way of telling you how attractive I find you,” he said.

  “Well, hmmm, still no dimples. What more can I say? That I have loved you since the moment I met you? No, I can see you will not believe that. Well, then, I can assure you that I have loved you ever since you responded quite eagerly, I might add, to my first kiss. And if not then, then the time you looked quite lovely covered in blood and straw when you saved both mare and foal. But I was sure I loved you after you forced me to take responsibility for my family, thereby allowing my father to die in peace.” The last was said in quiet, all laughter drifting away.

  “Please stop…” she said, resting her head on his cravat.

  “Charlotte, I love you. And I will not let you go away from me. So, I am afraid you are stuck with an ignorant ox of a husband who was too stupid and blind to tell you all this before, and who now requires you to tell me you will stay and help me make the Knight properties once again the finest in Christendom, whether you are able to tell me you love me or not,” he said quietly in her ear.

  At that moment, the haunting call of a mature cuckoo could be heard. She refused to encounter his expression, so she hid her face in the folds of his linen. “I do love you, Nicholas. You know I do, and always have. I will never stop loving you. And I am so proud you have faced down the familial cuckoos who usurped your rightful place. I feared it would never happen, and that you would return to the military life while I lived apart from you.”

  Nicholas nudged open the door and released her over the threshold. He cupped her face within his hands and kissed her until she entwined her arms about his neck. She broke away and continued, “I have a small wedding gift I have been wanting to give you.”

  “And I you,” he said, looking at her with a heartwarming expression. “You first.”

  She took his hand and led him into the clay room. The large bust she had created with painstaking care was in the corner, a damp cloth hiding the sculpture. Charlotte uncovered it to reveal a perfectly formed bust of Nicholas’s head and chest.